Pinterest Nightmare #516: Trick Or Treat?

HalloweenThemeWeek

Welcome to Halloween week here at The Dose of Reality. We are bringing you the best (hopefully!) of our Halloween posts through the years here this week, so grab your candy corn and your best costume and enjoy! Here we go…

Lisa is really hoping that when the doorbell starts ringing tonight, she is less disappointed than she was last year. Let’s hope the trick-or-treaters in her neighborhood took a page from this post and turned to Pinterest for their costume ideas this year.

I don’t know about you all, but Halloween was weak sauce in my neighborhood this year.

Nobody brought it–surprisingly not even the 9 year old Glossner triplets who were the talk of the cul-de-sac last year when they got decked out in platform boots and went as the band KISS in full makeup (obviously minus Peter Criss…he gets no respect). Now *those* were costumes worthy of a full-sized Snickers.

This year’s trick-or-treaters were definitely more deserving of a box of raisins or the dreaded American Dental Association approved tooth brush. (That’s not what I handed out of course. I don’t need to be cleaning egg off my front stoop until Thanksgiving.) We had a few traditional witches and cats–and there were enough firemen, police officers, and doctors to start our own disaster response team–but it really felt like everyone was just phoning it in this year.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being too hard on my neighbors. Not everyone on my block has the knowledge, like I do, that the most classy and unique costume ideas are just a click away on Pinterest.

Pinterest Nightmare # 516a: Classic Characters

If you want to pick a costume that’s a sure thing, one glance at Pinterest will let you know that dressing as your favorite character is sure to amaze the neighborhood.

TT Jack & Cigs

as pinned from neatmethod.com

 

Are you not stunned by the littlest Marlboro Man? 

What child doesn’t dream of the day he gets to dress as a pack of smokes and take to the streets with his good buddy Jack Daniel’s?

The mom was holding the camera or you would have seen she was dressed as a bottle of Vicodin.

TT Madonna

as pinned from dogtober.com

 

 

The Material Girl…er…Dog!

Not just any poodle can pull off a Blond Ambition era Madonna, but if I know Fe Fe, she has the chops to master the extensive choreography.

 

 

 

 Pinterest Nightmare #516b: Masks

Nothing says “Halloween” like donning a mask and letting the rest of your costume just take care of itself. Here are two examples executed to Pinterest perfection! 

TT Koala Mask

as pinned from 24.media.tumblr.com

 

 

This is what happens when Build-A-Bear employees go bad.

 

 

 

 

TT Old Timey Halloween

as pinned from Kristin Grondahl

 

 

Proof that Halloween was absolutely terrifying in the old-timey days of the Oklahoma Dust Bowl … or this is the youngest gang of bank robbers in U.S. history.

 

 

 

 

Pinterest Nightmare #516c: Babies Hitting it Out of The Park

You don’t get a free pass just because you’re a baby. Wearing any old get up to the neighborhood stroller parade won’t win you any friends or admirers. If you want your infant to stand out in the crowd, Pinterest has a few ideas…

TT Baby Taco

as pinned from Adnilra Yim

 

I know it’s not politically correct to eat veal, but I wonder if it’s okay to enjoy Taco Bell’s newest Gordita Supreme if it’s made with free range babies. 

This baby will think twice the next time Aunt Edith says she will eat him up!

 

TT Baby Alien

as pinned from teamjimmyjoe.com

 

 

This baby figured out the secret to the perfect costume. On it’s own, the infant chicken costume is lame and unsurprising. BUT…add some blood, a sucking chest wound, and an alien escaping it’s unsuspecting host and BAM!  You have real Halloween magic the neighbors won’t soon forget.

It’s his look of surprise at his current circumstances that really sells it.

 

 

 

 

Pinterest Nightmare #516d: Celebrities Go For Glamour

Celebrities display a pronounced flair when it comes to their Halloween costumes. You can’t go wrong following their glamorous lead. As Pinterest shows, they really know to take advantage of the moment when all eyes are upon them.

TT Lady Gaga

as pinned from tomandlorenzo.com

Here is Lady Gaga resplendent in a whimsical costume that is a modern day interpretation of  a ghost or perhaps a victim of consumption. (True artists tend to leave it a bit ambiguous.) Either way, it’s ethereal and edgy, but with a hint of chic…oh wait…never mind. Turns out this is just Lady Gaga going to dinner on a random Tuesday night. Moving right along…

Pinterest Nightmare #516e: Let Pop Culture Be Your Guide

Some of the best Halloween costumes have their finger on the pulse of pop culture. Drawing your inspiration from the movies or television will be sure to make your outfit a bona fide hit as these Pinterest gems clearly illustrate.

TT Hanibal Lecter

as pinned from Mary Emily

 

 

Who isn’t instantly transported on a Silence of the Lambs-style trip down memory lane by the sight of this mini Hannibal Lecter?

Should we be disturbed at all by the fact that nobody else seems to be in a costume? Surely this isn’t just the newest Tiger Mom method of discipline, right?

 

 

 

TT Pug Wrecking Ball

as pinned from craftinomicon.blogspot.com

 

 

 

And to think, Pugsley thought he was getting the last laugh when he peed on the rug.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

5 Signs You Are A Halloween Weight Watcher

HalloweenThemeWeek

Welcome to Halloween week here at The Dose of Reality. We are bringing you the best (hopefully!) of our Halloween posts through the years here this week, so grab your candy corn (or in the case of this post your celery sticks) and enjoy! Here we go…

We are officially entering into the holiday eating season, which in real life lasts until New Year’s. In our lives it has been known to last until the first time we have to put on a bathing suit.

But not anymore y’all.

We are in Weight Watchers mode, because we have been doing the program since yesterday June of 2013.

One of us Lisa is doing really well on the plan. We’ll just leave it at that.

So, chances are if you see both of us Lisa Friday night you can expect she will be doing this!

WWweightwatcherspost

The Year My Parents Tried To Ruin Halloween

HalloweenThemeWeek

Welcome to Halloween week here at The Dose of Reality. We are bringing you the best (hopefully!) of our Halloween posts through the years here this week, so grab your candy corn and enjoy! Here we go…

Let’s just say that 1984 was an especially cruel year for me. My parents took any shred of self-esteem I had developed and pretty much decided to shred it in one fell swoop. They, of course, did not see this at all. In fact, their ego crushing move actually came to me in the form of a gift!

My father recently decided to clean out his attic, an area that has the same square footage as a large apartment but looked for the last twelve years like the inside of a Goodwill drop-off center that has never been sorted. He was lucky no one (me) called the producers of Hoarders.

atticblogpicture

But last month he announced that it was time to do something about it and the attic now looks much different thanks to his hard work and persistence. During the process of the big clean, my father made a pile in the back corner for me of childhood things (i.e., ‘stuff’) that I could go through at ‘my leisure’; ‘my leisure’ meaning immediately or yesterday since when my dad is in get-something-done-mode, the only timetable that’s comfortable is the one marked ‘Right Now’.

So last week I spent about an hour in there going through a total of only two boxes, simply because it was such a trip down memory lane that I had to stop and reminisce with every rediscovered symbol of my past. The items I found ranged from amusing and slightly humiliating, like my old letters (of which there were, sadly, many) where I artfully pretended I was Kirk Cameron‘s wife; to bittersweet and nostalgic, like finding a never-worn nightgown from my grandmother to my mother with a lovely card wishing her a safe, happy delivery of her first baby.

Nothing, however, could have prepared me for finding two old Halloween costumes gifted to my sister and me by our parents circa 1984.

Now, back in the day, Halloween costumes were generally procured from one of two places – the local drugstore or your parents’ linen closet. I fondly remember standing in my neighborhood Walgreen’s choosing among the plastic wrapped packages, trying to decide which character I would become that year. I had to mostly wish that the body of the costume properly showcased who I was trying to be, because the string holding the plastic mask on my face pretty much broke by the third house I hit up for candy.

Or if it was the linen closet I raided, well, we all know how easily a good old-fashioned pillow case could become a scary ghost with just a pair of scissors. So minus having to take all of my candy to the local hospital to have it x-rayed for hidden needles, Halloween really was a simpler time in 1984. No Chasing Fireflies or Pottery Barn Kids with their elaborate costumes that cost more than your average car payment.

So imagine the thrill that my sister and I experienced when our parents returned from a business trip to New York City with Halloween costumes that they had hand-picked for us from FAO Schwarz®. These were costumes made from actual material that slipped over our heads and truly looked like what they were supposed to be. It was like winning the Halloween lottery … at least BEFORE I realized what the costume was that they so lovingly chose JUST for me.

Keep in mind that in 1984 I was eight years old, an age where Halloween costumes are really beginning to matter, both socially and to a child’s self-esteem, and I had pretty high expectations for an FAO Schwarz® treat.

My parents revealed my sister’s costume first, which was a very scary, very lifelike, but most importantly, VERY COOL witch costume.

Abby playing the part of my sister in the reenactment of 1984

Just what every average four-year-old needs, right? After handing it over to her and watching her face light up in delight, they turned to me and pulled mine out of the bag. My first reaction was that there must have been a mix-up at the store. I half-expected my mother to begin shrieking about how the ridiculous sales lady put the wrong item in their bag, because surely, SURELY, what had just been revealed to me must have been a mistake, right? I mean, they wouldn’t actually *choose* this costume for their daughter, as in on purpose.But, no, there was no wringing of the hands or frantic dialing of the phone, instead it was all smiles as they handed me my special costume.

It was…

Wait for it…

An ELEPHANT.

Yes, you read that right, no need to adjust your screen. My parents looked at all the available costumes in the largest, fanciest toy store in the world (at least back then) and thought to themselves, “I know what Ashley would look great in! I know what she would just love to be! She would love to be an elephant!”

Because what every little girl dreams of is dressing up like an animal that on its best day weighs as much as a barge. I suppose had they chosen a cow instead, I would have been slightly more insulted but I am not sure by how much. And of course, because this costume came all the way from New York City and was so expensive (I know this because my mother told me – she loved nothing more than to qualify a gift with its high value), I had to pretend as though this gifted costume was great. I had to act as if I would love walking down the street next to my little sister dressed up as the coolest witch ever to come to town while I trudged along beside her as a pachyderm, secretly hoping no one would recognize me through my eye holes.

I don’t honestly remember much from the trick-or-treating that year, but I feel fairly confident that more than one person at more than one house made a joke about how I must want peanuts more than candy.

Like any good mother would, I snatched up those Halloween costumes from my father’s attic and immediately brought them home for my girls to try on.

Let’s just say that seeing the photo evidence some 25 years later did nothing to lessen the painful memory of that poor little girl whose parents apparently saw her as the world’s largest land animal.

The eyes really say it all, don’t they?

This Dog’s Life: Meet Rincon

Who wouldn’t trade places with their dog?! Their time is spent sleeping, eating, and generally being adored by every member of the family. What a life!

But now the Dose Girls have amended this. We’ve decided want the life of one particular dog: Rincon.

Meet Rincon:

Rincon!

Isn’t he just the cutest?!

This adorable little fella had a hard start in life. He was a stray on the streets of San Juan, Puerto Rico. He had to beg strangers for food, and he slept wherever he could find shelter. His life was so sad.

(You might be wondering right about now why we especially want his life…just wait.  You’ll see.)

One day a man who was visiting Puerto Rico for work saw Rincon and decided to adopt him. He took him back to his house in Brooklyn to live with him and his 3 roommates. YAY!

It just so happens that Rincon’s new dad is named Julian Schratter. Here he is….

Jules

Oh right! I forgot to mention that Jules is a male model. He’s been in ad campaigns for Armani, Dolce & Gabanna, and Details magazine. You can see why.

Jules’ roommates and Rincon’s 3 new uncles (Nick Bateman, Brendon Beck, and Landon Falgoust) are also male models. Yep, all of them…male models.

Uncles

Well hello there, uncles.

So let’s recap.

There was once a small, stray puppy growing up rough in Puerto Rico. He was swept away to a trendy hipster apartment in NYC by 4 male models who, if their Instagram accounts are accurate, are shirtless the vast majority of their waking hours. This is the plot for the next Zoolander movie, amiright?

Now you can understand why my dog, Daisy, has been giving me the stink eye. She feels totally cheated that she was rescued only to live in *our* dumpy home with nary a male model in sight. I’m fairly sure I saw her on Expedia researching fights to Puerto Rico. (Get in line, Daisy!)

By the way, you can follow Rincon’s exploits on his personal Instagram account. There you will find many adorable photos of him snuggling up to various six pack abs. You won’t be the only one, of course. He already has over 25,000 followers.

We’ll leave you with this family portrait of everyone giving their best blue steel…even Rincon! When you are raised by male models, you pick up a thing or two.

Family Portrait

The family that blue steels together, stays together!