Welcome to Halloween week here at The Dose of Reality. We are bringing you the best (hopefully!) of our Halloween posts through the years here this week, so grab your candy corn and your best costume and enjoy! Here we go…
Lisa is really hoping that when the doorbell starts ringing tonight, she is less disappointed than she was last year. Let’s hope the trick-or-treaters in her neighborhood took a page from this post and turned to Pinterest for their costume ideas this year.
I don’t know about you all, but Halloween was weak sauce in my neighborhood this year.
Nobody brought it–surprisingly not even the 9 year old Glossner triplets who were the talk of the cul-de-sac last year when they got decked out in platform boots and went as the band KISS in full makeup (obviously minus Peter Criss…he gets no respect). Now *those* were costumes worthy of a full-sized Snickers.
This year’s trick-or-treaters were definitely more deserving of a box of raisins or the dreaded American Dental Association approved tooth brush. (That’s not what I handed out of course. I don’t need to be cleaning egg off my front stoop until Thanksgiving.) We had a few traditional witches and cats–and there were enough firemen, police officers, and doctors to start our own disaster response team–but it really felt like everyone was just phoning it in this year.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being too hard on my neighbors. Not everyone on my block has the knowledge, like I do, that the most classy and unique costume ideas are just a click away on Pinterest.
Pinterest Nightmare # 516a: Classic Characters
If you want to pick a costume that’s a sure thing, one glance at Pinterest will let you know that dressing as your favorite character is sure to amaze the neighborhood.
Are you not stunned by the littlest Marlboro Man?
What child doesn’t dream of the day he gets to dress as a pack of smokes and take to the streets with his good buddy Jack Daniel’s?
The mom was holding the camera or you would have seen she was dressed as a bottle of Vicodin.
The Material Girl…er…Dog!
Not just any poodle can pull off a Blond Ambition era Madonna, but if I know Fe Fe, she has the chops to master the extensive choreography.
Pinterest Nightmare #516b: Masks
Nothing says “Halloween” like donning a mask and letting the rest of your costume just take care of itself. Here are two examples executed to Pinterest perfection!
This is what happens when Build-A-Bear employees go bad.
Proof that Halloween was absolutely terrifying in the old-timey days of the Oklahoma Dust Bowl … or this is the youngest gang of bank robbers in U.S. history.
Pinterest Nightmare #516c: Babies Hitting it Out of The Park
You don’t get a free pass just because you’re a baby. Wearing any old get up to the neighborhood stroller parade won’t win you any friends or admirers. If you want your infant to stand out in the crowd, Pinterest has a few ideas…
I know it’s not politically correct to eat veal, but I wonder if it’s okay to enjoy Taco Bell’s newest Gordita Supreme if it’s made with free range babies.
This baby will think twice the next time Aunt Edith says she will eat him up!
This baby figured out the secret to the perfect costume. On it’s own, the infant chicken costume is lame and unsurprising. BUT…add some blood, a sucking chest wound, and an alien escaping it’s unsuspecting host and BAM! You have real Halloween magic the neighbors won’t soon forget.
It’s his look of surprise at his current circumstances that really sells it.
Pinterest Nightmare #516d: Celebrities Go For Glamour
Celebrities display a pronounced flair when it comes to their Halloween costumes. You can’t go wrong following their glamorous lead. As Pinterest shows, they really know to take advantage of the moment when all eyes are upon them.
Here is Lady Gaga resplendent in a whimsical costume that is a modern day interpretation of a ghost or perhaps a victim of consumption. (True artists tend to leave it a bit ambiguous.) Either way, it’s ethereal and edgy, but with a hint of chic…oh wait…never mind. Turns out this is just Lady Gaga going to dinner on a random Tuesday night. Moving right along…
Pinterest Nightmare #516e: Let Pop Culture Be Your Guide
Some of the best Halloween costumes have their finger on the pulse of pop culture. Drawing your inspiration from the movies or television will be sure to make your outfit a bona fide hit as these Pinterest gems clearly illustrate.
Who isn’t instantly transported on a Silence of the Lambs-style trip down memory lane by the sight of this mini Hannibal Lecter?
Should we be disturbed at all by the fact that nobody else seems to be in a costume? Surely this isn’t just the newest Tiger Mom method of discipline, right?
And to think, Pugsley thought he was getting the last laugh when he peed on the rug.
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.