To My Teen: It’s (Mostly) All Good

We wrote this post on behalf of Stop Med Abuse.org but all of the opinions expressed here are our own.

Between the two of us, we have one full-fledged teenager, two angsty tweens, and a six year-old (who thinks she is sixteen), so our houses are filled with a lot of hormones these days.

We think back to the early days of babyhood and toddlerdom and remember how hard it all seemed then. You know the old saying… Continue reading

Ebola…More Like NObola

Lisa and I decided recently that we wanted to do a post about Ebola. We talked about it extensively on the phone during a very important blog meeting. We even realized that we have actually talked about Ebola on the blog before (we think we might be psychic now). We figured out exactly what we wanted to say (but didn’t actually type it out as we talked) and then before we knew it, it was time to leave for carpool.

By the time we got back home and monitored homework, oversaw dinner and negotiated bedtime it was too late. After all, The Voice battle rounds weren’t going to watch themselves.

We briefly considered trying again the next day during another very important blog meeting, but then we got sidetracked by how much we love Pharrell Williams (SO SO MUCH) and whether or not Blake really has a cocktail in his cup (we totes think yes).

It doesn’t even matter anymore, though, because our friend Tara at You Know it Happens at Your House Too totally did it for us. And she did it far better and far funnier than we could have ever hoped to! We read it together in our third very important blog meeting of the day, and we were both crying with laughter. We knew immediately we had to share it here and sent her messages on every form of social media as quickly as we could type! It is possible that we might have used words like “stalking” and “please don’t get a restraining order against us” when we begged her to let us share it with our beloved Dose Peeps.

She graciously agreed, probably mostly to get us to stop tweeting her every five seconds!

So, without further ado, we present to you just a tiny snippet of her post…

EBOLA.

It’s everywhere. On the news, in the newspaper, Facebook news feed everywhere, the Twitter.

EBOLA OUTBREAK! STOCKPILE THE FOODS! NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE!

We were laughing already, but when we got to this part we honestly had tears streaming down our faces…

Things that scare me more than Ebola:

  • Head lice

  • Twelve-year-old girls

We won’t give anymore away, because y’all need to go read the rest of the post yourselves…and we promise you will be CRACKING up, too!

Ebola, You Don’t Scare Me

We are closing comments here today, so that you can all share the Dose love with Tara directly.

Ebola

 

 

 

Dirty Dancing: The Next Generation

Last week I was having a conversation with my sister about our favorite 80′s movies. I should note that this is a conversation we probably have at least once every few weeks. We take a little trip down memory lane to when we used to visit the local video store and rush toward the “New Release” section just hoping our favorites hadn’t already been checked out.

We found ourselves reminiscing about Dirty Dancing, which is one of THE movies from our childhood. We saw it in the movie theater on a Sunday with our parents, and we all loved the movie so much that my dad (for the first and only time ever) suggested we go and buy tickets for the very next showing. Yep. We watched Dirty Dancing two times in a row that day. And then, of course, we watched it about a million more times on our VCR.

When we would visit my grandmother in Colorado, we would spend hours practicing “the lift” in her front yard. Thankfully her grass was really soft, so when we would inevitably fail to perfect it, we didn’t injure ourselves. As Laura reminded me in our conversation last week, “the lift” is really best practiced in the water…too bad my grandmother didn’t have a swimming pool, because then we would have totally nailed it…obviously.

Needless to say, when I saw this video earlier this week, I couldn’t even begin to wipe the grin from my face. If I am being totally honest, I cried a little, too. It is just SO perfect in every way.

I can definitely say that while watching this little boy I had the time of my life!

Nobody puts baby in a corner.

‘Tis The Season

‘Tis the season…the political season, that is.

If you live in a solid “blue” or “red” state you might not realize that there is a midterm election coming up in a few weeks because the outcome is a foregone conclusion in your neck of the woods. If you live in a “purple” state where there are hotly contested seats like the Dose Girls, you have been acutely aware of this fact for the past four months. Why?

THE ROBOCALL

You simply cannot escape them in purple America. In fact, in the time it took me to type the above paragraph I have fielded not one but TWO political robocalls on my home phone. I know you think I’m making that up, but I’m not!!

Now, we all agreed that telemarketers are a scourge of humanity. Even government officials, who can’t agree on ANYTHING, came together to give us the National Do Not Call Registry so we can avoid them. (And even if one or two slip in, you can give them the satisfying Seinfeld treatment…)

But guess what…POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS ARE EXEMPT FROM THE NO CALL LIST. Yep, that’s right! You can be fully registered on the Do Not Call List and still receive 20-40 robocalls a day in the political season.  Funny how the people who make our laws exempted the irritating calls they think will get *them* money and votes. Surely that’s just a coincidence, right?

Yesterday Bobby answered a few and actually listened (instead of slamming down the phone in disgust like the rest of us). It made him very anxious.

Bobby: Thom Tillis just told me that Senator Kay Hagan lives next door to several ISIS members and has Sunday barbeques with them? YOU CAN’T VOTE FOR HER!

*ring, ring, ring*

Bobby: OH, NO!! Kay Hagan just said that senate candidate Thom Tillis hates children so much that he creates physical barriers around school bus stops to keep our youth from being educated. YOU CAN’T VOTE FOR HIM!

Me: Quit answering the phone if it’s going to make you hyperventilate.

Bobby: You obviously can’t vote for either of them! Who else is running?

Me: You mean candidates that actually have a shot of winning? Nobody. They are the choices.

Bobby: Um…what? How can you possibly decide? Both choices sound terrible!

Me: Welcome to the political process in 2014, sweetheart! You can’t vote for four more years. You’ve got some time to get used to it.

Despite the fact that nobody in the history of the world has ever been swayed to vote for a candidate because an annoying prerecorded message urged them to do so, political robocalls are out in full force.

Honestly, the only conversation I want to have with a robot starts with “domo arigato” and ends with me singing along to Dennis DeYoung in his 1983 prime.

 

When my phone rings I want to be excited because it’s Ashley calling so we can rundown the results of last night’s Battle Round on The Voice. Did she think Gwen blew it by stealing the long haired country guy, too? It makes me stabby when I don’t know because it’s not her at all.  Instead, it’s a politician’s robot telling me the best choice for Soil and Water Conservation District Supervisor on November 4th.

I’ve had it!

Consider yourself warned, politicians. This is my mantra now…