Pinterest Nightmare #523: The Rollie EggMaster

Posted on May 17, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

I don’t know about you guys, but mornings are rough at my house. It’s always a struggle to get everyone up, showered, fed, dressed, and out the door on time.

We all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but who has the time and energy to cook delicious and attractive meals first thing in the morning?

I was ready to give up on the whole thing and sentence my family to a life of cold cereal forever until Pinterest came to my rescue!

Pinterest Nightmare #523: The Rollie EggMaster

As pinned from http://www.getrollie.com

You may be wondering what those beautiful tube-like things on the plate next to the fruit cup are. Why, they are EGGS!!

Yes, that’s right. Your eyes are not deceiving you. Eggs.

According to the the makers of The Rollie EggMaster, you just crack your eggs into the machine and a column of eggs will pop right out of the top ready to eat!

Still confused? Just watch the video below…

Have you ever seen anything so appetizing?!!

As they tell us in the video, the best thing about the The Rollie EggMaster is that it cooks eggs into a “new, easy to eat shape”. FINALLY! I thought I was the only one who noticed how difficult standard egg shapes were to consume. Just think of all of the energy you use trying to get sunny side up or scrambled eggs onto your fork. Ridiculous! (Don’t even get me started with poached).

Thanks to The Rollie EggMaster’s state of the art vertical cooking technology, you never have to struggle like that again! Just keep them on the stick, and your kids will be treated to a warm egg popsicle first thing in the morning! Running out the door to work? Simply grab a fist full of cylinder egg product in your hand and you’re off!

They also tout that you don’t have all that messy breakfast clean-up like you do if you use a pan. You just wipe the very top rim with a paper towel and you’re finished! No need to use soap and water on the The Rollie EggMaster after each use. That really *is* a time saver!

Can you believe you can get The Rollie EggMaster for just $29.99 (plus $9.99 postage and handling)? I can’t believe I didn’t think to ask for this wonder device for Mother’s Day.

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

Through Wind, Sleet, Snow And Rain…Or Not

Posted on May 16, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

I have pretty low expectations for service these days. I mean, for the most part, I expect to receive less than stellar service wherever I go. I keep my standards low so I’m never disappointed and only pleasantly surprised when something goes well. Oh, who am I kidding? I am always disappointed.

But this took it to a whole new level for me.

And since I have already vented about it to both my hubby and Lisa, and I am still not over it, I am taking it to the blog.

That is just how I roll.

My rant involves the United States Postal Service, an organization that has seen their fair share of mockery through the years. We already know they are broke, so further criticizing them will probably not help their cause, but COME ON PEOPLE.

I happened to be sitting at my computer when our mail was delivered on Saturday. I knew it had been delivered because the little mail truck drove directly in front of my “office” (totally my dining room) window. So imagine my surprise when I found a slip tucked between our light bill and my latest issue of Entertainment Weekly.

It was a package delivery notice saying that the package could not be delivered because it required a signature and no one was home.

SAY WHAT?

I was not only totally home but completely willing AND able to sign for the package (i.e. not showering or playing my 87th round of Candy Crush that day). I was never even given the chance to sign for the package!

To make matters worse, this is one of those final notice kind of deals where you have to go to the actual post office to pick up your package.

I have to haul both my children to the post office (yeah, yeah, yeah, I am a total slacker and didn’t go during the school day) after school because my mail lady could not bother to walk the 50 feet to my front door on Saturday. Which, last time I checked, is part of her ACTUAL job.

So either my mail lady has decided getting out of the truck is optional on Saturdays, or she *really* didn’t like the Golden Corral coupon I slipped her as a holiday gift.

How Two Couch Potatoes Got Perspective

Posted on May 15, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

Have you ever thought one way about a subject, then talked to someone or read an article that was so eye-opening it completely changed your perspective?

We had just such an experience recently reading a very personal post from our friend Carli at her blog Real Into.

Carli is the epitome of a dynamo. She’s a Certified Personal Trainer and Certified Pilates Instructor. She runs, does Zumba, and is generally into healthy living and fitness-y things. (How she puts up with two aggressively sedentary folks like us, we don’t know.)

We figured, like so many fitness goddess types, she got her motivation for working out and eating right because she wants to look good and be healthy. Seems to be a reasonable assumption, right?

Well, it turns out it’s actually much deeper than that. When Carli shared her story, it stopped us right in our tracks. (Well, it would have stopped us if we’d been moving instead of sitting on the couch, but you know what we mean.)

The truth is, we were so inspired and blown away we couldn’t stop talking about it. We may have even decided to start exercising more (Yes, even US. We KNOW!). If we are inspired to put down the Cheetos and get moving, you know it’s good.

Here’s a little bit of what we read:

Growing up with weekly visits to the hospital gives you perspective and insight that you wouldn’t gain elsewhere. Having surgery after surgery and being thankful that you didn’t have to have the surgery the girl in the bed next to you had (even if it was only one compared to your 20). Getting your butt kicked at fuse ball in the rec room by the girl who had her arm amputated. Being introduced to Rush by the cute teenage boy who you have a huge crush on. Finding out he’s dying of cancer. Giving the smaller kids rides in wagons through the halls just to hear them laugh and not be stuck in your bed. Yes, you gain perspective.

Trust us when we say, you’ve GOT to read the rest of this post. It really gave *us* a new perspective on health and fitness, as well as touching us to our core.

Click on the link below to read the rest of “I’m Healthy & Fit Because I CAN Be”. Comments will be closed here so that you can share your thoughts with Carli on her site.

http://www.realinto.com/2013/04/i-am-healthy-active-because-i-can-be.html

Isn’t Carli the cutest?!! You can’t tell from this photo, but her feet are so tiny she has to shop for shoes in the children’s department! FACT!

Thanks for letting us share your beautiful post, Carli!

We’re An American Band…or ARE We?

Posted on May 12, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

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I’ve known for quite sometime that Ashley is not exactly your “go-to” person for music. She is, after all, a person who gleefully listens to Richard Marx and Michael Bolton on a daily basis. No, you’re not in a time warp. It’s still 2013.

While her love of 80′s music is legendary, I thought she still KNEW about other kinds of music. You know, in a common knowledge kind of way at least.

I found out I was wrong during a phone call last week….

Ashley: I just read this article and it had the funniest band names. You wouldn’t believe some of these are real!!

Me: Read them to me! I need a good laugh!

Ashley: Did you know there is a band called Porno for Pyros???

Me: Sure.That’s the band Perry Farrell formed after Jane’s Addiction broke up.

Ashley: Oh, well what about THIS one? It’s so stupid! The White Stripes!

Me: Yep. Jack White and his ex Meg. LOVE him. He dated Renee Zellweger. How can you not know him? He’s totally awesome.

Ashley: Hmmm…well there is no WAY you know this one, smarty pants! I think it may even be made up! Stone Temple Pilots!!! Hahahahahaha.

Me: Oh, dear.

See what I mean??!!

So when we saw this week’s Listicle idea “10 Real or Imagined Band Names” from Rachee, we were fully on board!

Below you will find 10 bands. Five of them are REAL. Five of them are FAKE.

See if you can identify which is which. I didn’t make this easy by giving you names like Radiohead or Fugees (two more bands Ashley has never heard of. Bless.) I wanted to make this challenging for people who have purchased music since 1988.

#1 The Banana Hammocks: This high octane rock band boasts nine of the baddest RAWK musicians to come out of Orange County, California this decade! Part of the LJG records family since 2010, their 2013 World Tour boasts 193 dates in 27 countries with the final show opening the MTV Europe VMA Awards!

#2 The Electric Jug Band: Their fans, aka the Jugnation, describe their sound as “Americana mixed with rockabilly funk jam”. These eclectic musicians from Michigan have been known to hand out shakers and other hand percussion instruments to the audience so they can join in the fun.

#3 The Parade Flamingos: These five friends from South Florida started playing in lead singer Jimmy Longo’s garage in 2003. Since then they’ve taken their Jazz fusion/psycho punk sound all across the country even playing a side stage at the Warped Tour in 2012.

#4 Tha Whooliganz: This 1990s hip hop duo met as teenagers in Beverly Hills and gained recognition around the LA area eventually landing a record deal at Tommy Boy Records. Scott “Mad Skillz” Caan and Alan “Mudfoot” Maman eventually parted ways in the late 90s, but Maman has experienced music success producing under the moniker The Alchemist.

#5 Ring Around the Rosie: This trio of sisters grew up in the tiny town of Apache, Oklahoma. Their folk sound was born when they began harmonizing together in their church’s children’s choir. Having toured with the Dixie Chicks and Shawn Colvin, they are booked at folk venues across the country this summer including the legendary Crossroads Music House.

#6 Gloat: This speed/thrash metal band from Norway claims Venom and Motorhead as early influences. Although performing under a variety of names in the early 2000s, they settled on Gloat in 2009 after hearing the song of the same name by Animals on Wheels.

#7 Bassnectar: This California based DJ is well known in the dubstep genre for his light shows and live performances. One of his most successful tracks, entitled “Ping Pong”, actually begins with the sound of ping pong balls being hit across a table.

#8 The Crazy Katies: Punk rock didn’t know what hit it when these Riot Grrrls got together in London, England in 2007. Since then, they’ve taken the world by storm and have performed in Europe, North America, and Japan. Their irrepressible energy and noisy, distorted sound are their trademarks along with the shredded schoolgirl uniforms they wear during their performances.

#9 The Hen House Junkies: Described by Country Line Magazine as “old-school country with a bluegrass soul ” they formed after meeting as studio musicians in Nashville, Tennessee. Between the five band members, they play twelve instruments all of which are on display in their album to be release this fall entitled “Granny Get Your Gun”

#10 Angry Beaver Band: Known as simply “ABB” to their most stalwart fans, these four average Joes got their name while driving through the town of Beaver on a fall Wisconsin afternoon. With Wingnut on vocals and Pablo on strings, their mellow hit “Dead End” from their Shack Session recordings promises to make 2013 their breakout year!

Could you spot the 5 real bands and the 5 fakers?

**CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWERS**

So, how did it go? Here’s a handy key to help you keep it in perspective. Just count how many bands you got right and see which category you fit in:

0: Clearly your name is Ashley.

1-3: Time to realize that there is music outside of “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”.

4-6: You wouldn’t totally embarrass yourself at group karaoke night.

7-9: Watch out Rock-n-Roll Jeopardy, there is a new player in town!

10: You Googled, didn’t you?

Pinterest Nightmare #432: The TweetPee

Posted on May 10, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

Mother’s Day is almost here and you know what that means? No, not a relaxing day at the spa with a massage and pedicure! (Wait, is that what you get? Can we swap families for the day?). No, we were thinking about shopping.

Whether you need an idea for your mom or you’re just trying to put together a list for your family to conveniently “find” (i.e. email it to them) so you don’t get another macaroni necklace or ironing board, you’ve got to think about shopping.

Is there a better place to look for fantastic gift ideas than Pinterest? Not for our friend Michelle of A Daily Dish of Life who alerted us to this gem:

Pinterest Nightmare #432: The TweetPee

No, Pinterest isn’t trying to talk people into giving you a baby for Mother’s Day (Ugh. That wouldn’t be relaxing at all!). The gift is the Twitter bird thing attached to it’s diaper. It’s called the TweetPee.

Get ready to wrap your mind around this.

Huggies has made a little plastic device that hooks to your baby’s diaper. It has a sensor that activates whenever the baby pees and it SENDS YOU A TWEET to let you know it’s time to change the diaper.

Yes. Let that sink in for a minute.

Gone are the days when you have to squeeze the diaper or judge by your baby’s fussiness if it’s time for a change. In 140 characters or less, Huggies has freed mothers everywhere of those pesky “face to face mommy and me” interactions that suck up so much time.

Genius, right? A mom doesn’t even have to stop playing Candy Crush to sort of semi-adequately be aware of the most basic biological needs of her littlest offspring. If she can monitor Twitter, she’s set. Finish your tummy time while I try to get past level 130, needy baby!

But don’t rush to your nearest Babies “R” Us just yet. Huggies has only test marketed this exciting new product for busy moms in Brazil. I’m not sure why they chose Brazil. Maybe some canny Huggies executive wants an all expense paid business trip to Carnival. Maybe it’s their dream to persuade Brazilian native (and mom of two) Gisele Bündchen to be their spokesmodel. I’m sure Huggies has their reasons.

Even though this is obviously an awesome way for technology to help moms, we do have a few questions.

What happens when the baby develops enough motor control to grab that sensor and stick it in his mouth? Will he get a jolt of electricity? How big is the jolt? Would it be so big that the baby would cry and need a mom’s attention or just be enough to keep the baby from touching it again like a dog running past his invisible fence?

Does the TweetPee function on a 3G network or does it use Wifi? You know it would be irritating if you couldn’t get your diaper tweets unless you were near a WiFi hot spot.

Does my baby’s diaper get it’s own Twitter handle? What would a TweetPee tweet would look like? Maybe something like this…

Our friend Susan wondered aloud on Pinterest what happens when the baby relieves himself but *isn’t* only wet. Hmmmm…good question. We decided to get to the BOTTOM of this so we posed that question to the Kimberly-Clark Corporation using the “contact us” feature on the Huggies website.

Their young customer service rep will have to get back to us on that. Probably after they translate it into Portuguese. We’ll keep you posted.

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

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