Instead of pitting working moms against stay-at-home moms, which is so totally ridiculous I would laugh if it weren’t actually happening, let’s start a war on the moms who don’t want to own up to the reality that is motherhood and marriage. How about that?
How about instead of focusing all of our energy tearing down the women who get up every day and “suit up” to play, whether it be in a full blown business suit or yesterday’s spit-up covered yoga pants, but who openly acknowledge that what they are doing comes with great sacrifice, we laser in on the women who act like this job is the greatest, easiest thing they have ever done.
I have a lot of friends who fall on both sides of this particular aisle, and the reason they are friends is because they are the first ones to admit that they cannot have it all…at least not at the same time and certainly not in equal measured parts. The ones who had a slam dunk at work that day often did so because they were missing their child’s school field trip. Or the ones who gave up their careers to make it on the field trip yelled at their kids in the car on the way there.
Here is the real dose of reality for you…no one *wants* to be working at any of this. We would actually love for it all to come naturally, kind of like stretch marks and gray hair did. But, it doesn’t, so when you are talking with someone who says something asinine like she can’t imagine spending a minute away from her babies, or she has never missed a single milestone event because she had to take one more call at the office, or that she feels great pleasure in folding tiny little baby socks for the 800th time, then unless she is also coughing up the exact medication, dosage and possible side effects from whatever she is taking to help her achieve this Zen-like bliss, she is lying.
That’s right, I am saying it, that is the war I *want* to wage. Against the lying moms. Those mommies are like the airbrushed magazine cover mommies. Yeah, we would all look fantastic if you brushed away all the wrinkles and cellulite and mommy guilt. Good news for you pundits out there, they exist in the working and stay-at-home camps, no need to divide and conquer, just have at ‘em! All of us real life moms, who aren’t afraid to share our fears and our deepest shameful moments of motherhood, let’s band together and smother these lying, liars with enough truth and reality and validation until they break down in tears and say, “Oh my God, yes, yes, it is all so hard, some days I don’t even know how I will make it from minute to the next, please let me be in your REAL mommy club.”
You got it, sister, jump right in.
If we keep it up the only mommy war left to be waged will be about who loves who more. No you’re a fantastic, hardworking, totally amazing mom. No, you are. No, you.