Never Let Anyone Steal Your Sparkle

Everything we need to know, we learned from Tierra on The Bachelor.

What? Haven’t you guys paid attention to the wonderful life lessons she has given us? You’ve been missing out!! Don’t worry, we’ve been taking notes.

Always pretend to be injured:  Our girl Tierra knows that you’ve got to have the attention of every person in the room. The best way to do that is to conveniently collapse on the stairs…or by a lake…or, you know, just as you’re standing there. You can’t worry about the whole “crying wolf” scenario. That’s for losers. As long as all eyes are on you, it’s a win.

How To Collapse Like A Pro

Who needs friends?:  Being nice to other people is a drag. Other women should always be seen as rivals to be vanquished. Who cares how many feelings you hurt or toes you step on as you claw your way to the top. You know they are all just jealous of you anyway.

Unmarried women over 30 are a disgrace:  Clearly, you have to be defective if you aren’t married (with kids!) by the time you hit the big 3-0. Tierra is rightfully disgusted with women who haven’t been able to bag a husband by then. It hurts to even look at those crones. They should really hide themselves in shame.

Right Eyebrows RuleDon’t hate me because I’m beautiful:  Grooming and personal appearance are the *most* important aspects of life. Eyebrows don’t shape themselves to perfection, you know! Activities that could cause your makeup to run are a total no-go! It’s not worth doing if you can’t look great doing it!

Don’t save the drama for your mama:  Nobody likes a wallflower! You’ve got opinions and they must be shared with everyone…all the time! If people don’t like that, you should repeat the phrase, “Stop attacking me!” while you continue to attack them unmercifully. It’s so unfair! (Crying without actual tears is also helpful, and it won’t smear your makeup!)

Never let anyone steal your sparkle:  Tierra’s daddy taught her from an early age that she should NEVER let anyone steal her sparkle! A man who named his daughter after a crown knows! Potential sparkle stealing situations can include (but are not limited to)– helping an old lady across the street if her shoes are prettier than yours, settling for a bikini without sequins, or wearing a ponytail if you’ve misplaced your bump-it.

Daddy Was Right

Daddy knew. He did.

So thank you, Tierra. We have watched, and we have learned. We are absolutely sure that your life lessons are going to give you exactly what you deserve!

And if we may add one final life lesson of our own for your consideration…waterproof mascara should never be optional.

 


Comments

Never Let Anyone Steal Your Sparkle — 97 Comments

  1. I don’t watch the show but she sounds like a real merk! People that concern themselves with a person’s marital status based off of age are more than likely miserable in their attempt to keep up with society. A truly happy person will only wisely advise you to get married when the time is right and you have the right person. I know this was a pun at this Tierra chick but ugh…I can’t stand people who make those type of comments to me.

    • I could not agree with you more, Joi. When she was saying these outrageous things, it was so unbelievable. It just left us shaking our heads! UGH!

  2. See that right there is the very reason I don’t watch reality shows. They force me to switch into briar patch biotch from KY. Girls, because she is NOT a woman if she behaves that way, like that cause me to want to reach through the TV and slap the stupid out of them, and possibly knock them off the pedestal they seem to think they are on.

  3. I have to say it again: I don’t even watch the show, but I love your updates and insights! And waterproof mascara is an absolute must for me – otherwise, should some random tear-jerking commercial appear on TV, I would look like the final photo.

    • As someone who cries at the drop of a bucket, I could not agree with you more, Kim! It’s surprising that someone who pays as much attention to their makeup as Tierra, would not have learned that as well.

  4. I was never happier to see any woman from The Bachelor go home. I was hoping it wouldn’t be another Ben fiasco and yay, it wasn’t. I laughed my rear off at this post. She was so ridiculous from the “I can’t control my face” to all the sparkle talk. I hope when she watches the show back, she is at the very least embarrassed by her behavior.

  5. My fave was “never let them steal your sparkle” by far. It was perfect for her!!!! Gotta feel sorry for her immaturity. She’s gonna really have her mascara run when she’s still looking for someone past the ripe old age of 30:(((

  6. Oh tierra, tierra. I still think she was planted there to cause some drama. I can’t wait to see her on the girls tell all show, that one will be juicy for SURE! According to US Magazine she is already engaged to a former flame. ugh.

    • Of COURSE SHE IS, NELLIE!! Remember…she told us she could have ANY man…ANY ONE…and get married WHENEVER she wanted. She didn’t need this show or the girls attacking her. She isn’t a desperate…THIRTY YEAR OLD!! *horror*
      I cannot wait to see her on the Women Tell All. It will be epic.

  7. LOL!!! Since I know theses shows are totally staged, I feel NO guilt judging the “characters” on the show. I am glad this Tiera girl left. Shallow, judgemental, dramatic….what a gem!

    • She was let go THANK GOODNESS, Kristen! She lasted a *really* long time. She was very good at the two-faced thing– sweet and light to HotSean! but nasty as a snake to everyone else. Finally her melodrama did her in, but it was nerve wracking to see her advance week after week. UGH.

    • Oh, Kita!!! That made me laugh so hard!! I can just picture you slumping over to get your way. YOU GO, KITA! Hahahahaha.

  8. Hahaha. I’m slow. Before reading the other comments, I thought Tierra was a blogger with a blog named The Bachelor. Oh my. Now it all makes sense. I’ve never watched that show. Whew!

    • Oh, hahahaha. Yes…it’s the tv show The Bachelor. Whew!! Tierra is just the tip of the iceberg with the life lessons you can learn from watching this show. If that doesn’t frighten you, you have nerves of steel!

  9. I am so glad I don’t watch this because this lady sounds like the spawn of satan and I might just punch the TV. Even reading about her is making me lose my cool >:/
    Is she gone now? If so, you girls must be ecstatic!!

    • Xae, we were THRILLED when she left. Whoo hoo! And you are so right, watching her made us want to punch the tv so many times. She was quite the piece of work!

  10. *Snorts water out of nose* I am cracking up at “the higher the eyebrow the closer to God.” Who says that??? Lol. I was already aware of the obession the two of you have with The Bachelor, but who knew about the life lessons? Sooo funny!!!

    • Hahaha! YES! We aren’t just obsessed because of HotSean! There are SO many things you can learn from The Bachelor. We have been absorbing them all! :)

    • YES!! She got kicked off, Tara! She is gone! Whew!! We could not be so carefree if she remained a choice. Thank goodness!

  11. I love your blog!!! Makes me feel so good when I read it!!!
    We both read “Raising Flowers and Skids” Leah is a great BFF and so happy I found you there and now read your greta mommy blog too.
    Check out mine you might like it…I even stole your title for a post the other day:))
    Blog is called “In Search of Sun”(weather doesn’t matter…)
    http://tarina-insearchofsun.blogspot.com/

    We certainly have reality in commen!!!

  12. Ha! So glad you wrote about this! That line has bothered me since I first heard it. There’s always that one psycho chick on the Bachelor. Kind of sad that she got kicked off so quick :)

    • The fact that her dad always told her to never let other girls steal her sparkle–well, that explains a lot. She was definitely this season’s psycho chick.

  13. I have no words for women like Tierra – I really don’t – but I LOVE yours! Although I must confess – I am a huge proponent of well groomed eyebrows!

    • As are we, Ilene! We love a good brow!
      Her right eyebrow was taking things too far, though. We could not get on board with that!

    • YOU. ARE. A. GENIUS!!!! Ashley, that’s EXACTLY what he should do!! OMG…now I will be disappointed with anything less!!

  14. I don’t watch the Bachelor but wow! Her name is really Tiara? She reminds me of someone around here who says, “Nobody likes me because I’m so beautiful.” So she thinks. lol

    • Yep, that’s her real name. Well, her parents altered the spelling a bit, but it’s pronounced just like “tiara”. Ugh.

    • Hahahaha. Exactly, Robin. She faked injury at least 3 times during this show. It was exciting to see what kind of injury she would fake next!!

  15. Hi..it was so nice to get your comments on my blog-thank you so much. Your style of blog has influenced me alot-I love how authentic and real you both are.
    I have to start watching the Bachelor more often!

    The blog thing is fairly new to me..2 yrs now..but until 2 months ago did not even have a way for people to post comments as I was scared I would have no time to read and enjoy!. All comments came from friends and clients to my personal email. Now I have a few who comment and I see the fun in it all although addictive!
    I have 3 blogs now that I read daily (including yours!). I like to make time for that for sure.
    I would like to add two more blogs to my repetoire that I read daily-any suggestions? You can leave on my comments on blog if ever you have 2 that really stand out as great?

    Anyways thanks so much and keep up the good work. I love that your blog has so many comments, and so much effort goes into it, and you are so visible etc… A great example. One to aspire to one day in the future! Tarina

    • Hahaha. We feel the same way. How can she honestly not understand how horrible she is? If everyone in the world thinks you are awful, maybe the problem *is* you, Tierra!!

    • Thanks, Stephanie! When she pulled out the cougar line we just doubled over in laughter. What in the world was she thinking? (But that is something we repeated over and over again whenever she was on the screen)

    • So glad you’re here, Christine!
      Tierra has a way of sparkling up gloomy days—just so long as we don’t try to steal HER sparkle!

    • Haha! We will keep our fingers crossed for you Stephanie. We wouldn’t want you to become sparkle-less crones like us!! :)
      Thanks for stopping by!

  16. Hi there! I’m here from the SIT girls Share fest! Can I just say that when I saw your title on the link up I immediately clicked it because I had a feeling it was going to be about the Bachelor? Good ol’ Tierra…..It didn’t disappoint, you had me LOLing the whole time! Love the blog!

    • Thanks, Marissa! We have a soft spot for The Bachelor over here…it’s our guilty pleasure except we’re not really guilty about it! Tierra…whew. She was a handful of crazy!

  17. I don’t watch the show, so don’t know who this girl is, but definitely not a role model. I love the images you captured and your whole post. You pulled a positive swing out of a negative action. Great job. Have a blessed day. Followed you from SITS sharefest.

    • Hahahahaha. This made me laugh because that’s EXACTLY what Ashley and I say about her. We talk about the *many* ways she is a nut-job, but we always end with, “but, damn she has good hair!”
      Crazy must be better for hair than an expensive keratin treatment!

  18. OMG! The Bachelor is probably the only reality show I do not watch, but if I had known I was going to miss out on these profound lessons I would have tuned in sooner! Lol. LOVE that post….priceless. :-) Stopping by from the Saturday SITS Sharefest…just a little late.

  19. I haven’t tuned into this show yet – but I do have a lot of laundry to fold so it might happen this week.

    Tiara sounds like such a lovely woman, I can’t believe she has to go on a reality show to catch a man.

  20. So funny! She was the most entertaining thing on that show in a long time. But I don’t know why you mentioned her eyebrows…she can’t control what her eyebrows do!! She can’t control her face 24 hours a day, you know! Ha ha ha :)

    As soon as I heard the line about her parents saying ‘dont’ let anyone steal your sparkle’, I thought, ‘ah ha! and that explains why she is the way she is entirely.’ I was bummed that she went home before the hometown dates, though…wouldn’t meeting her family have been awesome?!

  21. From what you’ve described, I don’t even know why they’re still wasting time finishing the season. They’ve obviously found the winner right there. How could he not choose her?

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