I Just Want To Pee Alone…

And really what mother doesn’t relish the opportunity to go into the bathroom alone AND close the door? No one prepares you in the childbirth classes for the fact that it can LITERALLY be years before you do not have company for your every bodily function.

This is actually considered privacy for moms.

This is actually considered privacy for moms.

Remember last week when we told you the book we’re in, I Just Want to Pee Alone, would come out in a few weeks…well, it’s HERE!!

The book is available for purchase. THE BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!

Wait, wait. wait. We are totally calm and cool about this. It’s just a book. That you can put on your book shelf. That has our name on the back cover. And our words on some pages. You know, happens every day. Whatever. (No! It doesn’t happen every day. Not to us! This is the only day! EVER! And we’re totally on page 146-150…of every single copy! SQUEE!)

Front cover                                                      Back Cover

I Just Want To Pee Alone Covers

We got our own copies of the book early (like real authors or something), which led to a whole long discussion about where and how we should display our books in our homes. Probably exactly how Jennifer Lawrence feels now that she has an Oscar. You know, do you put it in the bathroom so as to not draw attention to it or should you go with a place of more prominence so that everyone who comes over can see it?

In the end, we decided subtle was better. That’s just how we roll.  If someone happens to notice, we’ll be surprised and amazed that they were even able to spot it among all the backpacks and general clutter.

Totally Subtle

See? We are all about the subtle.

So here is the deal. You can buy the book. Right now. Right this very second. If you have a Kindle, you can be reading in minutes. Same thing if you have an iPad, iPod or eReader of any sort. If you have Amazon Prime, you can be reading in two days with free shipping. If you have a mailbox at all, you can be reading in a week.

Book Front Cover


Click here to buy from Amazon.com


Click here to buy from iTunes


Click here to buy from Smashwords



Click here to see our Author’s Page at Amazon.com! You know who else has an Author’s page on Amazon.com? Pamela Anderson, Snooki, and Paris Hilton, that’s who.  We can’t believe we’re in such elite company!!

After you finish clicking and your book arrives, we expect you to skip straight to page 146 to read our essay called: The Husbands Who Cried Wolf-itis.  Yes. There *may* have been a bus driving by and we *might* have thrown our husbands right under it. Sorry, guys.

You can also enjoy other titles like:

I Love Disney World. Wait, No. That Whole Title is a Typo

Why I Belong in Coach

and And Then There was That Time a Priest Called Me a Terrible Mother

And that is just a sampling of the 37 essays that will make you laugh. You are going to love this book. We just know it. And when you are finished reading, it even makes a good accent piece for your mantel or back door!




I Just Want To Pee Alone… — 78 Comments

    • Oh, sure! We’ll set up in our driveways with some card tables and sharpies. (Hope the neighborhood kids don’t put up a competing lemonade stand that day!)

  1. Yes! I love that is it taped to Lisa’s back door. I am going to order the book and subtly display is on top of my tv so when people ask me about it I can brag and say that two published authors read my blog 😉 (But seriously, I am going to order it. Way to go, ladies!)

    • Thanks, Bev!! Yes, the kids were into the book at the backdoor. When they saw it they said, “What is that thing?” It’s obvious they are my biggest fans! 😉

  2. So excited – but I want both a Kindle book and the hard copy (must have both of your autographs on this one – let me know how to make that happen….maybe a trip to Charlotte is in order!!) Very proud of you both – and I know Da is doing heel clicks in heaven!

    • Oh, we will DEFINITELY make that happen, Debbie!! We’ll work it out!! (but a trip to Charlotte is always in order!!)

  3. I must get this I don’t have Kindle anymore on my device I have the nook I wonder if I get it on my sons device will he let me pee in peace if he sees the name of the book….this may work for me.

    • It will be up at Barnes and Noble…but they take longer to get it on their site than Amazon and iTunes, apparently…so it will be available on the Nook soon. I’m just not sure exactly when! There is some PG13 language in the book (not in our essay, but in some of the others), so you’ll want to wait for the Nook version just in case!! (Not that it would appeal to your son anyway!) Hahaha

  4. Lisa’s back door made me snort. No, wait. That didn’t sound right. I mean, it’s a lovely back door. Very clean. I’ll see myself out…

  5. This is SO SO SO AMAZING!!!!! I can’t WAIT to buy it and read it!! Like I can say I know you … and then I am kinda famous TOO!!! Congrats girls!!! Just promise you won’t pretend you don’t know me in your new fame…

    The funny part of this post is in a twisted comical way, ya’ll sharing the “spotlight” with such brilliant role models and authors… “Pamela Anderson, Snooki, and Paris Hilton, that’s who.” Now that is freaking FUNNY. 🙂

  6. You guys really are subtle, because I’d just shove it in the face of anybody that walk up to my door – they don’t necessarily have to be inside.
    But seriously, this is so cool girls!! I am so HAPPY for you!
    I will get the book as soon as my wallet allows me, I promise.
    Love you girls *MWAH*

    • Hahahaha! Thanks, Xae! We might just have to tape a copy to our mailboxes so folks outside our homes can see, too! Thanks for the inspiration! We love you, too! MWAH!

    • That was a big plus of putting it there, I’m not going to lie. We’ve posted photos of the insides of our houses. We might never find our copies if we just randomly set them down somewhere!

    • Whoo Hoo!! Thanks, Ilene!! You rock!!
      We will carry around our Sharpie markers from here on out ready to sign, just in case! 🙂

  7. Your displays are subtle. Remember Ashley’s wedding picture with the spotlight on it? I assume you both have those rigged up, hopefully more than one and with revolving colored lights.
    I thought the author’s page on Amazon was neat — the real Amazon and you guys are actually there.

    • OMG…SPOTLIGHTS!! We totally spaced on the spotlights. We’ve got to rectify that immediately!!

      We can’t believe we are on the honest to goodness Amazon with all the greats. We just found out Fabio also has an author’s page. We are now in the same club as Fabio. It’s almost too much excitement for one day.

  8. “Well we’re movin’ on up…” Go right ahead with your badd selves! I am very excited for all of the mom’s published in what I’m sure is a very insightful and hilarious book. Kudos ladies!!!

    • YES!!! Excellent idea!! I wish either one of our minivans had a sun roof. Then it could peek out of the top at all times. We’re just going to have to settle for tapped to the back window so people can check it out at stoplights.

  9. I am going to have to buy this….but when will I get the time to read it alone, when like everyone else with little ones, I can’t pee alone? I like the subtlety of duck tape and the glass door. Nothing says “BUY” more than that! Lol. Seriously, CONGRATS!!! Very excited for you all. 🙂

  10. OMG, the book taped to the door killed me! I am so excited to read the whole book, but of course I skipped right to yours first and loved every word! Congrats again to you both! (BTW, I filled out the handy “contact us” form to ask you guys a question about possibly being a part of my new friendship essays series…)

    • You are so sweet!! Thank you so much for getting the book and reading our essay first, Stephanie!! 🙂 Your book is on it’s way to my house right now!! (and we’ll have to check our email. We are not the best about checking that every day!! Exciting!!)

    • Thanks, Jennifer!! I chose the back door for a reason. My front rooms are so messy I can’t possibly let anyone enter the house through the front door…ever. All must enter via the back door. It’s embarrassing, but that’s how it goes! 🙂

  11. Congrats again on the book release! Your placements are quite subtle, but I might have tried something slightly more so…like hanging it from the ceiling so that it hits everyone in the face when they enter the front door. Looking forward to downloading it on Kindle!

    • Hahahaha. That is a fantastic idea, Leslie. We would have gone that way if we’d thought of it. We are not that creative! 🙂

    • Oh, the dog paw works, too! They are just as needy! My dog almost ALWAYS comes into the bathroom when I’m in there.

  12. I CANNOT WAIT. I am torn between electronic and hard copy, because I, too, need your siggies in it. And I will be seeing you in a few *GAH* months, so come on – what do I do? But I also must read it now, so I think the Kindle first. You can always sharpie my iPad or Kindle, right? Ri … uh… yeah.


  13. I will definitely get a copy. Promise! I like your displays. Note that nothing else is on the mantle. It makes a nice little shrine.

    • Yay!! Kindle for the win! We hope you enjoy it, Tanya! (well, not too much…sleepless husbands tend to get cranky!) 🙂

  14. Congrats!! Stopping by from SITS, I dream of the day can pee in peace without someone asking me a question or asking if they can have the iPad or the dog waiting outside the door!!

  15. That totally kicks booty! I contributed to a book of blog posts as well and I can’t believe I can hold a real book with my words in it so I totally know how you feel. But I didn’t think to display the book as you did so I am totally going to go get the duct tape right now!

  16. Way cool!
    I would so totally have to buy a copy for everyone I knew if I was in the book and then definitely have it hanging on the door.
    I feel like I am in the midst of royalty here! You guys rock!

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