“Arie” Excited? We Found The Next Bachelor

You guys KNOW how we feel about The Bachelor. We have lovingly written about it all season. We know we lose IQ points for every hour we watch, but we don’t care. Happiness always comes at a price. We also take a perverse pride that we have introduced many of our tender readers to the show. We have gotten comments like, “God help me, I think I might tune in next week thanks to you guys.” That’s how we know the work we do here at the blog really counts.

As you undoubtedly know, last night was the HotSean! season finale. We were thrilled when HotSean! selected Catherine from among all the hos on the show. She was always a favorite of ours. It was magical and lovely, just like a stupid Bachelor ending should be but never, ever is.

But now that the finale has run, the reign of HotSean! has come to an end. Now he’s just regular old Sean of Sean and Catherine. It’s okay. We’re fine with it. Toward the end he didn’t even take his shirt off all that much. Besides, you know he has to consume crates of raw eggs and no less than 8 chicken breasts a day to keep his protein intake at chest maintenance levels. We don’t have time for that falderal. We are ready to move on.

And we know without a shadow of a doubt who we want to move on with us. Yes, we do.

The next Bachelor needs to be:       Arie Luyendyk Jr. 

Arie the BachelorNow, if you read our opening post from this season, you already know our thoughts on Arie. Well, you know our rated G thoughts on Arie, anyway. He was the runner up on Emily’s Bachelorette season. It blows our minds that she released him back into the wild. We were surprised when she dumped Sean, but we were flabbergasted when she discarded Arie. Arie should come in second to nobody. EVER.

Here’s the thing: Arie is sexy personified. There is something about him that is a little bit dangerous in just the most delicious way. He smolders. Oh, how he smolders.

Arie doesn’t need an overly muscled chest to have it going on. Oh, he’s no slouch, but he doesn’t have time to spend 6 hours in the gym each day. He doesn’t have that time because he’s too busy kissing women.

Yes, that’s right. Arie is the best kisser in the universe. It’s been scientifically proven. You have an MD and and RN writing this post. We know our science, you guys.

Don’t believe us? Well, watch the video of Arie in action. Go ahead and make sure the kids have a fresh video on the T.V. before you press play. You’re not going to want to be interrupted.

BEHOLD:

It’s okay. Watch it a second time. We’ll wait. You deserve it.

There’s one other thing we haven’t mentioned that really gets us going about Arie. He is smart. YES! Not just “intelligent for The Bachelor”, but actually intelligent. He won’t be hauling out the dreaded “Her and I had fun on the date” like so many Bachelors before him who weren’t good at thinking.

And for the final cherry on top, Arie is REALLY funny. His tweets about the show have made our Bachelor season complete. The fact that we are on the same page with respect to Tierra and her eyebrow, was not lost on us either.

ArieTweet1

ArieTweet2

ArieTweet3

See what we mean? These are honestly just a few of the MANY hilarious tweets from him…we know this because we spend a fair amount of time stalking casually reading his Twitter feed like completely normal people.

So, get on it Mike Fleiss. We’ve done your casting work for you. You’re welcome. Please don’t even think about disappointing us. We are loyal fans. We are among the 12 people who even watched every episode of the Deanna season. Also, two words: Ben Flajnik.

YOU OWE US, FLEISS.

We’ll just be here working out our special name for Arie during his season until we get the good news from you. SmolderingArie!Don’tStopKissingArie!ArieYesOhYes!  We better go watch the video again to make sure we get it just right. 

 

 


Comments

“Arie” Excited? We Found The Next Bachelor — 53 Comments

  1. Ok seriously I have an adult blog where I write erotica and that kiss is sexy and HOT.. AAAAAAAHHH I don’t watch the Bachelor but I would watch him, and now have someone to write about bwhahahaah

    • Well, well, well…and adult blog where you write erotica?! Who knew you feisty Southern Angel?!! Arie can surely provide inspiration!

  2. That video is so completely awesome, you were right, I am going for a second round.

    I like this choice–I didn’t watch the season with him in it but I’m down.

    He is just all kinds of gorgeous.

    • Yes. We all deserve a second viewing of that video. We’ve watched it at least 3 or 4 times…FOR THE BLOG you know!
      😀

  3. I still have yet to watch The Bachelor and I still have yet to believe it could be any better than your recaps. Watching the video a second time right now and I’m proud of it…

  4. Have I told you gals how much I love you gals for the way you make me laugh?!?!? You are totally awesome for that! I don’t even watch the Bachelor (Don’t shot me – I just steer clear of the drama and reality shows in general and your blog tells me all I need to know and then some, I mean, hello! You are their biggest fans!!!), and you almost have me willing to watch just so I can compare notes with y’all! I think instead I’ll just Google and check out the homepage and all that…and maybe also Twitter stalk, because those were some HILARIOUS tweets. But, yah, they totally should listen to you gals! I mean, you weren’t wrong about Pinterest, and I don’t think I’ve seen you wrong about reality TV, so …Yah, it’s a sure thing that they are a bit touched in the head if they don’t follow this absolutely brillant suggestion! Besides! You are now famous authors! Pfft! Gotta listen to the media! {end rant}

    Anyway, I wanted to say, too, thank you for stopping by Natural and Free earlier and checking out the latest recipe. :) I appreciate it! Have a great Tuesday, ladies, and thank you for making my day a little brighter! :)

    • You’re so sweet, Julie! Thank *you* for always being so supportive. :)
      Now…we’ve GOT to get you on to the Bachelor. We’re not 100% sure that The Bachelorette should be your entry into the franchise. The gold standard is really a The Bachelor season. If they take our advice and pick Arie for the next bachelor, we will not take no for an answer, though!

      • You’re always welcome, ladies. :) As to The Bachelor…I did use to watch it here and there and The Bachelorette, believe it or not. They get your guy Arie in there, and I can’t promise to be a faithful viewer, but I will promise to check it out. I think that’s a good compromise for now. 😀 Deal?

  5. Loved that you chose an almost five-minute video to share! LOL – I think his name should be “Ariethereyet?” But Amorous Arie would work, too! In addition to blog writing, you should also start a casting agency – it would be perfection! Great article – and great finale last night. Yes, I am one of the 12! :)

    • Nobody would have been happier than us if that video had been 10 minutes, Debbie! ArieThereYet is INSPIRED. LOVE IT! We twelve people who have stuck with the show through thick and then deserve to have ArieThereYet. WE DO!

  6. The Dose’s Bachelor commentary is the only way I could keep up with who’s faking injuries, who’s getting cut from the “team”, and who’s on their way to “happy ever after”. Keeping me in the know…

    • Hahahahaha! So happy to be your link to The Bachelor, Andrea! We wouldn’t ever let you lose your sparkle! (tm Tierra)

    • Haha! Thanks, Michelle! We are totally #teamArie all the way. If he is chosen, we will make it our goal to convert you to a watcher. Arie will make it easy.

  7. I am totally watching The Bachelor with you guys this coming season. Rejoice in the perverse pride that you have converted me. Oh and that hand? He clearly knows his stuff.

  8. I know I say this every time you write about the bachelor, but I think it every time: can you imagine trying to figure out if a guy liked you all while in competition and being taped. Being a contestant would be like my worst nightmare! Just imagine a montage of yourself kissing, available on YouTube. Again, worst nightmare/death.

    • There are so many things about this show we could never imagine in a million years. Dating someone who is making out with 24 other girls…having to talk about our “journey” a million times…having to decide if we were there for “the right reasons”…being videotaped whilst kissing would definitely be on that list, too. AWFUL. (unless you are Arie and in that case it’s like a gift from the gods)

  9. Okay, I am NOT a fan of Arie’s. I didn’t find him sexy or attractive or even particularly likeable in Emily’s season of The Bachelorette, and I don’t know if I could watch an entire season of him.

    That video, however…that I could watch a million times.

    • Oh, Amy. This wounds us. *sniffle*
      Now we’re going to go have to watch the video again just to make things right with the world.

  10. See, I love reading your Bachelor posts because then I don’t have to actually watch the show. Your posts are far more entertaining, and that video is really all I need to see of Arie. The hand. Wow.

    • We are happy to be your go-between Bachelor ambassador, Jennifer! And yes, the hand. My oh, my. The hand. *sigh*

  11. I want you to know that I read every word of this post. But as you talked, discussed, blogged, all I could think was “I don’t EVER want to know what goes on in their houses after they watch an episode of that show.” You’ve got some lucky men at your houses. If ya know what I mean. 😉

    • Bwahahaha! Let’s just say the guys have never once complained about our Bachelor watching addiction. We’ll leave it at that! 😉

  12. As an original Bachelor fan I first have to stand up and give each of you a hug. My second post ever was actually an ode (of sorts) to The Bachelor, just so my readers would maybe understand me. But since I only had maybe 5 readers at the time, I’m quite certain those who read my blog now think I’m a crazy middle aged lady living vicariously through this most excellent and ridiculous soulmate game. BUT – Arie. Sigh. I still can’t decide on Arie. Sure, his kisses looked delicious, his hair was touseled perfection, and he DROVE A FREAKIN’ RACECAR, but every time I’d think he was the whole package, he’d get this look that made him look slightly doofish and like he was trying too hard to be suave. Of course, then he’d do the whole hands to the face thing when he kissed Emily and I’d forget all about it. But having said all that, I do believe he’d make a fine Bachelor. Especially since the last two have been tools (and yeah, I got over Sean’s chest and thought he was way too self-important by the end…swagger and all). Send me the petition. I’ll sign.
    xoxo

    • We can’t even remember if we liked him at the beginning. Once he got to the kissing part of the show (i.e. every other epi but the first one) We were SOLD. Can you imagine the videos we’d get if we had a whole season of Arie? (We started to be over Sean when he seemed a little to bothered that Catherine had a career.) We are ready for a Season of Arie! We will cry and cry if they pick some loser from Des’ upcoming season instead of Arie. We might even stage a formal protest.

  13. Best kisser ever, huh? I totally trust your opinions. It’s SCIENCE, for goodness sake.

    • Okay, that made me choke with laughter. They just might allow a breast pump. They love nothing more than to promote “The Most Exciting Bachelor Date EVER”. I’m pretty sure a breast pumping contestant would qualify!

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