I think it’s finally happened…I am old and out of it.
I don’t know how it happened.
I knew what dubstep music was before any of my friends. I even like it and have some in my workout playlist.
I took Lucy to the hair salon and let her get two of those hair feather things put in when they were all the rage awhile back.
I keep abreast of internet memes. I can recognize Gangnam Style or the Harlem Shake with the best of them. (and I even know the meme Harlem Shake isn’t the *REAL* Harlem Shake!)
While my years are advancing, I thought I was keeping up and keeping it together.
I fear it’s all come to an end now.
When I first started seeing celebrities with strange dye jobs, I felt sorry for them. It’s really hard to keep camera ready 24/7. Celebrities have packed calendars and weird shooting schedules. It’s got to be difficult to get to the salon on a regular basis. I’m sure glad nobody photographs me on my way back from carpool line every day. (and so is everyone else)
When I casually mentioned to Ashley how sorry I was for these poor celebs, I was baffled that it went something like this:
Ashley: Oh, that’s the ombre hair thing. It’s supposed to look that way. They are doing that on purpose.
Me: Hombre? No, I don’t mean MAN hair. I’m talking about these poor starlets who have let their roots grow and are obviously not making it to the salon on time. It’s sad.
Ashley: Yes. That’s ombre hair.
Me: What? Hombre Hair? These girls are not Spanish.
Ashley: No, ombre. O–M–B–R–E.
Me: That’s not how you spell hombre.
Ashley: No, it isn’t. But, I’m not spelling HOMBRE, I’m spelling OMBRE.
Me: That’s not really a word.
Ashley: It is now. It’s what that dye job is called.
Me: We can’t be referring to the same thing. What I’m talking about is hideous. It’s what happens when you have a bad colorist. They can’t possibly be doing this on purpose.
Ashley: They really are.
Now, it’s not that I’m *always* the first one on a trend. I’m definitely not. But until this whole ombre hair deal, when informed of a new trend, I’ve always adapted. I may not partake myself if it’s not for me, but I understand what it’s all about. I embrace it, even if it’s something best left to others.
But not this time.
I can’t get on board with ombre hair. I just can’t. If you have ombre hair, please do not take offense. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are sporting it right now. You are on trend. I salute you.
I don’t understand you, but I salute you.
It’s not that I am averse to playing around with hair. I have had hair so long it fell half way down my back, and also hair so short they actually used clippers on the back to cut it. My hair’s been everything from permed to stick straight depending on the decade. I’ve been every imaginable shade of brown as well as many shades of red over the years. I probably even would have considered a crazy pink streak back in the day if I hadn’t had to look professional. I get it.
But no matter what crazy thing I was doing to my hair–and believe me, there have been plenty– I would have demanded a refund if I ever left a salon with black roots and blond tips looking like my best nearsighted girlfriend tried to do home coloring hair on me for the first time.
I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.
I feel like my youth hangs in the balance. The next trend will really be the one that decides my fate. If I can get on board with whatever it is, maybe this ombre hair thing was just a fluke. Maybe I am still “with it”. But if I find myself just as bewildered by the next trend, it’s totally “move over granny” time.
What do you think about ombre, hombre?