School is winding down for the year in our neck of the woods which always leaves us in a bit of a panic. We know some people love the relaxed schedule summer brings, but we are not those people. The summer and it’s willy-nilly atmosphere doesn’t suit us. Plus, it provides almost unlimited togetherness for the siblings to “enjoy” each other’s company. This fills us with dread.
In an attempt to console ourselves that summer isn’t really that bad, we made a list of things even *we* won’t miss about school. We are going to try to think of these in July when we’ve sent everyone to their rooms for the 4th time that day. That will totally work, right?
- Dioramas (Or any other project that must be completed at home): After all, who wants to spend time lounging on the couch catching up on back episodes of “The Real Housewives” when they could be helping a second grader magically transform toothpicks and pipe cleaners into an Indian Village from the 1800’s? Oh, right. Us.
Please note that a pizza box was used as the backdrop. Does this mean we are upcyclers now?
- Getting Them Dressed in the Morning: The pre-dawn hours are not always the best time to have a fashion discussion. Sometimes our children don’t like the school outfits we suggest, despite our flawless fashion history. Can you believe it?! We let a lot fly in the summer because who cares what you wear to Target or a trip to the zoo, but we have actual standards for school attire. You can imagine the joy this brings to our households before it’s even 7am!
- Carpool: Okay, you KNOW how we feel about carpool. We’ve been completely vocal with our stabby feelings for the Mary Sues who make us look like slackers because they show up an hour early to pick up when we merely arrive on time. But you can’t forget the anarchists who disregard societal rules and just pull up to the front of an already established line to magically become first. And what about the people who ignore all signage and park in the middle of the carpool line causing congestion by making us all swerve around their inert vehicle to pull forward? Yep, we won’t miss this rage inducing school feature at all during the dog days of summer no matter how exhausted we are.
Yes, yes. We know you are very special, but we’d appreciate it if you followed the rules like the rest of us.
- LICE: Oh sure, it’s *possible* for your child to contract lice somewhere other than than school, but when was the last time that happened? It’s always the call from the school nurse that sends a shiver down our spines because there is always an outbreak afoot during the elementary school years. Who doesn’t live in fear of a call that will send you boiling all of your bedding in hot water and bagging up every stuffed animal you can find? The fear of lice alone is almost enough to make us consider homeschooling.
We don’t bat an eye if the kids start scratching during the summer. We chalk it up to dry skin or heat rash and go about our day.
- Fundraisers: Nothing produces the school spirit in your child like the opportunity to sell stuff and win “valuable” prizes like a patriotic eagle pencil or a plastic mini Slinky shaped like a flower. Once you’re finished hitting up all the grandparents, neighbors, aunts, uncles, you’re expected to pick up the slack and buy the rest of the cookie dough or raffle tickets yourself. Our checkbooks get a well deserved break from this nonsense in the summer.
Of course I’d love to buy a subscription to “Saltwater Fisherman’s Digest”, dear! It will make a nice companion to the “American Bass Wrangler” subscription I bought last year.
Okay. We’ve made ourselves feel so much better. There are plenty of things about school that we will be glad to escape during the summer!! Yay!! We’re really glad that it’s almost summertime!
Oh, who are we kidding?
We’re already counting down the days until school starts in August.
Is summer more lazy, hazy or crazy for you? Are you looking forward to the joy that is summer vacation or are you shuddering at the thought of all those endless days like we are?