We are list makers. We have lists of things we love, lists of things we need to do, and even lists of lists we ought to make. We’re crazy about them, so it’s no mystery why we love participating in Listicles!
Imagine our delight when we saw that this week’s topic was courtesy of two bloggers called The Dose Girls. Hey, that is us! We threw out the idea of doing “Ten Favorite Characters In Movies or TV” and were so excited that Stasha chose it!
In talking about some of our favorite characters, we quickly realized they all had something in common…
Their totally awesome facial hair.
Oh yeah, nothing completes a character like a rockin’ beard or a sweet goatee.
So, without further ado, we present to you…
1. Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride: As if the hair on his head was not enough awesomeness, he also had an amazing mustache to go with it. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen him reciting his mantra to the six fingered man while sporting that mustache with the tiny dividing line on his upper lip. Inigo, you had us at hello.
2. Thomas Magnum from Magnum, P.I.: Tom Selleck and his super woolly worm mustache made our young hearts pitter-patter back in the day. Can you even imagine that show (or the 80s) without it? Throw in a Hawaiian shirt, a red convertible, and his devil-may-care attitude, and we were totally ready to move to the islands to hire this hunky detective!
3. The Robertson Boys from Duck Dynasty: We only recently discovered this awesome family and their hysterical antics. We can’t decide who we love best: Willie, Jase, Jep, Phil….or Si. We can’t pick because love them all!! While we admit the Full ZZ Top look does not suit everyone, the Robertsons totally pull it off with panache! We’ll be crushed if they ever get Norelco as a sponsor!
4. Victor Newman from The Young and the Restless: Is it any wonder why Nikki fell madly in love with Victor? Some might say it was his money, but we know the real reason: his ‘stache. Can you even think of soap operas without thinking of his suave, perpetually tanned, millionaire mustached face and his accent of questionable origin? We didn’t think so.
5. H.I. McDunnough from Raising Arizona: We totally get why Ed traded in her law abiding citizen status to get hitched to H. I. This bumbling, lovable, bank robber/baby stealer and his unique mustache totally won us over, too. Nathan Junior could do a lot worse!
6. Bandit from Smokey and The Bandit: Oh Burt Reynolds, how you made us love you with that amazing upside down happy face of a mustache you sported in this cinematic classic. You had the Trans Am, the cowboy hat, and a never ending supply of chewing gum. No wonder Sally Field couldn’t wait to kiss you! That’s a big ten-four, you rascal!
7. Chuck Noland from Cast Away: If losing all that weight and becoming best friends with a volleyball wasn’t enough to convince the audience that Tom Hanks had been stranded on a deserted island for a long time, his facial hair definitely sealed the deal. He may have found ice skates, but there was definitely no razor in that Fed Ex plane. WILSON!!!…Oh, Wilson…
8. Clubber Lang from Rocky III: We pity the fool who tries to out mutton chop Mr. T! Rocky may have regained the championship belt in the end, but it’s Clubber Lang’s iconic facial hair that scored the knock out for us!
9. Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean: With Jack’s long flowing locks, the red headscarf, and his guyliner (or was it manscara?), we don’t know why anyone would look twice at Will Turner. Add in the awesome accessorizing of his goatee with beads, and yes, we are fully on Team Sparrow.
10. Hans Gruber from Die Hard: Sure, John McClane was the hero and his awesomeness is not in doubt, but it was Hans who really stole the show with his deadpan line readings and his magnificently sculptured facial hair. Yes he was ruthless and a bit haughty, but we’re still glad he survived and grew up to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts for years to come at Hogwarts.
How’d we do? Did we hit all of your favorites with fabulous facial hair or did did we disgrace ourselves like an overzealous barber and overlook the perfect Van Dyke or Fu Manchu? Let us know in the comments!