We Mustache You A Question

We are list makers. We have lists of things we love, lists of things we need to do, and even lists of lists we ought to make. We’re crazy about them, so it’s no mystery why we love participating in Listicles!

Imagine our delight when we saw that this week’s topic was courtesy of two bloggers called The Dose Girls. Hey, that is us! We threw out the idea of doing “Ten Favorite Characters In Movies or TV” and were so excited that Stasha chose it!

Whoo Hoo!!

In talking about some of our favorite characters, we quickly realized they all had something in common…

Their totally awesome facial hair.

Oh yeah, nothing completes a character like a rockin’ beard or a sweet goatee.

So, without further ado, we present to you…

mustache pin


1. Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride: As if the hair on his head was not enough awesomeness, he also had an amazing mustache to go with it. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen him reciting his mantra to the six fingered man while sporting that mustache with the tiny dividing line on his upper lip. Inigo, you had us at hello.


2. Thomas Magnum from Magnum, P.I.:  Tom Selleck and his super woolly worm mustache made our young hearts pitter-patter back in the day. Can you even imagine that show (or the 80s) without it? Throw in a Hawaiian shirt, a red convertible, and his devil-may-care attitude, and we were totally ready to move to the islands to hire this hunky detective!


3. The Robertson Boys from Duck Dynasty:  We only recently discovered this awesome family and their hysterical antics. We can’t decide who we love best: Willie, Jase, Jep, Phil….or Si. We can’t pick because love them all!! While we admit the Full ZZ Top look does not suit everyone, the Robertsons totally pull it off with panache! We’ll be crushed if they ever get Norelco as a sponsor!


4. Victor Newman from The Young and the Restless: Is it any wonder why Nikki fell madly in love with Victor? Some might say it was his money, but we know the real reason: his ‘stache. Can you even think of soap operas without thinking of his suave, perpetually tanned, millionaire mustached face and his accent of questionable origin? We didn’t think so.


5. H.I. McDunnough from Raising Arizona: We totally get why Ed traded in her law abiding citizen status to get hitched to H. I. This bumbling, lovable, bank robber/baby stealer and his unique mustache totally won us over, too. Nathan Junior could do a lot worse!


6. Bandit from Smokey and The Bandit: Oh Burt Reynolds, how you made us love you with that amazing upside down happy face of a mustache you sported in this cinematic classic. You had the Trans Am, the cowboy hat, and a never ending supply of chewing gum. No wonder Sally Field couldn’t wait to kiss you! That’s a big ten-four, you rascal!


7. Chuck Noland from Cast Away: If losing all that weight and becoming best friends with a volleyball wasn’t enough to convince the audience that Tom Hanks had been stranded on a deserted island for a long time, his facial hair definitely sealed the deal. He may have found ice skates, but there was definitely no razor in that Fed Ex plane.  WILSON!!!…Oh, Wilson…


8. Clubber Lang from Rocky III:  We pity the fool who tries to out mutton chop Mr. T! Rocky may have regained the championship belt in the end, but it’s Clubber Lang’s iconic facial hair that scored the knock out for us!


9. Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean: With Jack’s long flowing locks, the red headscarf, and his guyliner (or was it manscara?), we don’t know why anyone would look twice at Will Turner. Add in the awesome accessorizing of his goatee with beads, and yes, we are fully on Team Sparrow.


10. Hans Gruber from Die Hard: Sure, John McClane was the hero and his awesomeness is not in doubt, but it was Hans who really stole the show with his deadpan line readings and his magnificently sculptured facial hair. Yes he was ruthless and a bit haughty, but we’re still glad he survived and grew up to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts for years to come at Hogwarts.


How’d we do? Did we hit all of your favorites with fabulous facial hair or did did we disgrace ourselves like an overzealous barber and overlook the perfect Van Dyke or Fu Manchu? Let us know in the comments!





We Mustache You A Question — 140 Comments

  1. As soon as I saw Tom Selleck ala Magnum PI, I knew the list was complete and OMG, you even included my favorite soap billionaire, Victor Newman (huge soap opera fan here). Loved you ladies already, but just fell in love a bit more with this post for sure!! 🙂

    • Thanks, Janine! You can’t really do a post about mustaches and leave out Magnum. It would. not. do! So glad we got two of your favorites!! Woot!!

  2. I agree! Mandy Patinkin and Tom Selleck are definitely on my honourable mentions list, but for Homeland and Blue Bloods. I was about to say Chicago Hope for Mandy but can’t recall if he had facial hair on that show. I’m thinking no. 🙂 I couldn’t wait to see how you guys were going to spin your own prompt! It was a good one – I enjoyed it. And I spent like 10 hours today viewing youtube clips of all my favourite shows and now I can’t move. Thanks a lot. :p

    • Hahahahahahahaha. Oh, that made me laugh. It is HARD not to get sucked into youtube when looking for these clips. We wasted untold HOURS doing that!! I love Mandy Patinkin in all things. He can do no wrong facial hair or no!

    • Perfectly devilish…in a good way sometimes. It’s always the bad boys and rascals who have a ‘stache!

  3. As soon as I saw that this list was about the best facial hair, I KNEW Magnum, P.I. was going to be on it. But me? Yeah, I’m definitely a Jack Sparrow kind of girl.

    • We could not have this list without Magnum…but we cannot fault you at all for giving your heart to Jack Sparrow! We’re right there with you, Kristen!!

  4. Oh, wow, GREAT list m’ladies! You really “covered” it all with this group of manly men. Inigo and Captain Jack! Yes and yes! If you wanted to stretch it to include sports teams, the Red Sox are some pretty hairy guys too. As always, I totes appreciate the unique subject matter of you girls’ posts. A pleasure to read! I don’t always have a lot of time to read, but I am always getting my DOSE. Thank you!

    • Oh, yes…we will happily stretch to include the hirsute athletes, Karen!!

      You are so sweet! We always look forward to our Leftovers each day, too! 🙂

  5. I am more of a stubble kind of girl but you know, you picked a bunch that made me remember that I kind of like the beard thing on some guys. I especially loved it on Sawyer from Lost.

    • SAWYER!!! I cannot believe we overlooked him, AnnMarie. I’m totally hanging my head in shame. There has never been a better stubbly character in the history of ever. *sob* Please forgive us, Sawyer. You deserved to be on this list. 🙁

    • I agree! My husband had some beard thingy in the remote past, but I like him best clean shaven.

  6. Victor Newman aka John Jacob Astor who sunk with the Titanic! 🙂

    And Hans Gruber was the entire reason to watch that movie. Just sayin’.

    • Hans Gruber was just the BEST. Going through those clips was more fun than I can say. I adore Alan Rickman!!

    • Hahahahaha. You knew if TV or movies were involved, we had to have gamed the system somewhere!! 😀

      You *have* to join in the fun, Andrea! There’s plenty of room!! You could even do your favorite book characters if you wanted….I’m just sayin’…

  7. Yep I think you hit them Pirates of the Caribbean one is the most odd and Victor is the oldest one out of the bunch he got that old school facial hair.

  8. You definitely got some of my favorites on there! Inigo is totally awesome and worthy of top spot! Duck Dynasty! Hello! Those guys are a trip! Jack Sparrow! Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors ever, so he’s always on the list. 🙂 Sean Connery needs to be on there somewhere, though, like for his role of King Arthur in First Knight – he had the beard and mustache combo there. He was just awesome, and I’m totally partial to him so (can we say life-long crush no matter how old he gets?)…yah. He needs to be on the list! 🙂

    • Oh, and I was watching an episode of Murder, She Wrote (Yes, I like that and Matlock! Sue me! LOL 🙂 ) on Netflix and it was a cross-over episode with Magnum P.I. How crazy is that? 🙂 Totally made me giggle, especially with Jonathan trying to do some karate in there all proper-like. You must see it if you haven’t! Good stuff! 🙂

    • Dabble away, we say! You never know until you try! My husband did that as well in the late 90s. I liked it but he’s gone back to clean shaven now.

    • Yay! And yes…there are some awesome characters out there with facial hair. Maybe it’s an easy way for actors to convey something about the character. Aw, who cares! They look good!

  9. Oh my heart! Magnum! And if that doesn’t date me, Burt Reynolds still gets me every time. And no one can rock the guyliner like Jack Sparrow – except for maybe Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran – who would totally be on my list if he had a mustache!

    • You are so right. Nick Rhodes was the king of the guyliner. He would have made the list if he only had a ‘stache, Ilene!! Magnum and Burt may date us but who cares. They rocked it! 😀

  10. I am not a facial hair girl, so Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck were the ONLY ones who could rock my stache world. Them and this cop Peter who I dated in Chicago but that’s a different story…

    • Oh, this sounds like a story we NEED to hear, Kristen! You can’t start a “I once dated a cop in Chicago with a mustache who rocked my world” and THEN JUST STOP! ;D

  11. Oh how I love H.I. from Raising Arizona. Best character ever. In terms of facial hair, I also like Wes Bentley’s beard in Hunger Games. 😉

    • H.I. is just SO funny. We love him. You are so right about Wes Bentley’s beard in Hunger Games. Seneca could totally have been on the list!!

  12. LOVE THE TITLE of this post…SNORT….

    I had so much fun doing this list. OMG Inigo Montoya is my favorite on that list, who doesn’t know that line? CLASSIC!

    • That was all Ashley. BEST. TITLE. EVER!!! We love Inigo’s line. It’s just so awesome…as is that whole movie!

    • We quote this movie at my house at least once a week. Seeing the trailer made me realize it was time for another full viewing, too. It’s just that good!

  13. Johnny Depp can do no wrong in my eyes!!
    Glad he was up there…as well as a favorite in Mr. T! “I pity the fool” who doesn’t have him on their list. lol

    • Bwahahaha! Yes! We weren’t going to risk it by leaving out Mr. T! We pity the fools who would try! 😀

    • It was so wonderful meeting you, Natalie! We all deserved a little eye candy after a very busy (and totally productive!) weekend.

    • Aw! Thanks, Leah!

      You can’t have Magnum without the ‘stache. I’ve seen Tom Selleck from time to time without it and it is just WRONG. Sorry, Tom. But Magnum..no, NEVER!!

  14. You did good! No facial hair list is complete without Tom Selleck, but Jack Sparrow is definitely the sexiest of the bunch. The only other one I can think of is Yosemite Sam.

    • Yosemite Sam!! Hahahaha! Great idea, Dana. He had the mustache AND the eyebrows. That was a big miss on our part!! Good catch!!

  15. Adding Magnum PI was genius, because as soon as I saw this post that is who I thought of! And Captain Jack Sparrow of course…(yes, too many kiddos in the house and it’s always a road trip favorite to watch)

    • You can’t have a facial hair post without Magnum PI!! He was just the end all, be all of mustaches!! Jack Sparrow on a road trip? YES PLEASE!!

    • I don’t know about George Clooney, but I know Kevin Costner had a mustache in the beginning of Dances With Wolves. That was SUCH a great movie. That should have been on the list!!

  16. Pretty safe bet that panache and duck dynasty have never been used is the same sentence before.
    Dose girls is good.

    • You’re not going to believe this, but that is EXACTLY what my husband said when he read this! Bwahahahaha. Love Miss Kay’s boys!

    • We just LOVE Raising Arizona. We quote it all the time. It needs a re-watch right about now, as a matter of fact!!

  17. Oh I love this list!! I love that you put Inigo.

    And Si is definitely the best. I would love to hang out with him. Except I bet he totally smells like old man.

    • While I love so many things about Willie…and Jase has such a dry humor…and I love watching Phil (especially with Miss Kay)…but it’s GOT to be Si. He’s the one that makes me laugh the most. Oh, Si!!

  18. I’m definitely not a facial hair person. But isn’t it funny how mustaches so easily become part of a guy’s identity and persona? This is such a funny topic for a listicle.

    • The facial hair really does become such a part of the character. It’s impossible to imagine many of these characters without their facial hair! I hope guys consider this before they grow it! They might have to keep it forever!!

  19. You had me at #1. Maybe my favorite movie EVER, and clearly, one of the best movies to quote of all time. And Tom Selleck. Sigh. Still hot in his sixties. And you gals may be the ones to finally push me over the edge of curiosity to check out the infamous Duck Dynasty…. Maybe. Loved this list!

    • Oh, Stephanie…YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT! They are so funny and so dear. You won’t regret it!!

  20. Fun list. My family can’t get enough of the Robertson’s & Duck Dynasty. Although I don’t want my husband to get any ideas. I like him just fine with a smooth face!

    • Hahahahahaha. I wouldn’t mind if my husband did a little facial hair, but I don’t think I could handle a full Robertson. I do ADORE that show, though and all of them!

  21. I think there is something wrong with me… perhaps that I’m not crazy about facial hair, because I’ve seen most of these movies and aside from Jack Sparrow, because, well, DUH! About the only one that stood out to me was Mr T!

    • I pity the fool that watches these movies and shows and it not impressed by the facial hair!! Hahahahahah

    • RON BURGUNDY!!!! YES!! And the next Anchorman is coming up!! I can’t believe we overlooked Ron. He is epic!! Good call, Raquel!!

  22. When I first started reading this post I was hoping Tom Selleck would make the list! I’ve seen him once without a mustache and he just doesn’t look right! Great list!!

  23. Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. Classic. My dad had always had a mustache (since I’ve been alive anyway). He’s one of those people who actually looks funny without one. Not many people like that in the world!

  24. Mandy Patinkin – LOVE. is that the most quoted movie quote EVER? I think so.
    Also love Victor — grew up watching with my grandma. That voice though, eh? *swoon*
    HA – Duck Dynasty!! I’m quickly getting hooked on that show.
    And definitely had to include Hans.
    For me, I would add hairy Renner in The Bourne Legacy.
    and of course, ZZ Top.

  25. Love all the ‘staches! Inigo Montoya is definitely worthy of #1 status, too. Sidebar: my father had a mustache from the time I was a baby until I was 26. I wouldn’t go near him for a good 30 minutes. It was too freaky seeing him without his hairy lip….do you think we’d all feel the same way about Tom Selleck?

    • I bet it would be so strange to always know your dad with a mustache and then suddenly have it be gone! Yikes!

  26. Oh wow… so many of these should have been on my list as well! Inigo definitely, but I still think Miracle Max takes the cake on that one… and H.I. – wish I’d thought of him! Chuck Noland and Hans Gruber are awesome also, but I think I’d have to admit that it was the actors that get me with those two and not necessarily the characters themselves… My list could have been 100 people long…

    • We felt the same way, honestly, too Samantha. Like there were a million different ways we could have gone with it and so many more characters we could have included!

  27. I LOVE this list: Inigo, Captain Jack, Magnum AND Victor! Victor!! That cracked me up – I never would have thought of him!!! But I love that you did – brought me right back to high school and watching that show with my mom! I think I have a story for almost every one of those guys. Bright spot in a long day – thank you!

    • Thanks so much Stephanie! So glad you enjoyed it! We definitely took a trip down soap opera memory lane while we wrote it! 🙂

  28. Girls, there are two people I know here. Tom Selleck and Johnny Depp. And when there is Johnny Depp, I really don’t care who else is here!
    I love Captain Jack Sparrow. The dreadlocks, beard, mustache, guyliner and all. Did you know that they the lead character was actually supposed to be Orlando Bloom’s but Johnny Depp stole the spotlight so they changed it?

  29. Oh, what fun! I loved Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck, and of course Jack Sparrow! When I was younger my favorite look was dark hair, mustache, and beard, like Michael Lembeck on “One Day at a Time.” However, my husband looks nothing like that…he has (had) ginger-brown, curly hair, and the one time he had a mustache, well, let’s just say he didn’t look his best. You can see in this blog post:


    He looks so much better without it!!

  30. I loved the Princess Bride, and yes, Mr. Montoya had a very nice one.

    A mustache list is not complete without Magnum P.I.!

    LOL @ Nicholas Cage making the list for his mustache on Raising Arizona.

    Ohhhhh….nice one with Johnny Depps Jack Sparrow mustache.

    Ha! This is the second time I’ve seen Hans Gruber make a list.

    Happy belated Listicles Monday!

    • Thanks so much! We appreciate you reading and commenting! 🙂 Totally agree that no list about facial hair is complete with Magnum, P.I. He rocked it!

  31. This is an awesome list! I loved the Princess Bride, Inigo has an awesome ‘stache though Wesley had a pretty manly one too in that movie! Thanks for sharing!

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