Pinterest Nightmare #203: Soda Pop Top Sucker

Summer is upon us. The weather is getting warmer and more humid. We’ve started the daily struggle with the kids called “mandatory sunscreen application”. We even pulled our swimsuits out from the back of the closet crossing our fingers the whole time that they still fit. (No comment) Heck, Ashley even finally made her way to the nail salon for a pedicure so she can wear sandals!

It’s getting real up in here with the summer time preparation.

Although we’ll be dragging by August, we always try to put our best foot forward in June to get things started properly. Thank goodness Pinterest is here to give us loads of ideas on how to kick off the summer in style!

I knew I’d found the perfect summer treat for the kids when this little pin popped up…

Pinterest Nightmare #203: Soda Pop Top Sucker

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As pinned from http://www.metrocandy.com/

It’s a lollipop that you can attach right to the cap of your child’s soda bottle!!

Here’s how it works: The sucker is a hollowed out dome with a hole at the top. It’s attached to a base that screws right on to your child’s favorite soda bottle and…VOILÀ! Your child now has the ability to drink soda right through the Soda Pop Top Sucker and get a candy infused swig with every sip!

It was a miracle to find this on Pinterest, because I feel that what my children really need more of on a daily basis is sugar, especially when school is out.

After all, I don’t want my kids sluggishly sitting around all summer watching TV!! I want them bouncing off the walls and full of pep!! I’m looking for “I’ll jump out of my skin if I sit still” levels of energy. When you think of it, adding a sucker to a Mountain Dew is probably the best way to deliver that much kick without resorting to pharmaceuticals.

I did want to see what else the Soda Pop Top Sucker had to offer, so I sought out the nutritional information. To my surprise sugar was only the second ingredient listed.  I was absolutely delighted to discover that the first ingredient on the label was CORN SYRUP! Can you believe it! Corn is a *vegetable* people!! SCORE!!  This thing is practically a health food!!

Try as I might, I can’t think of many drawbacks to the Soda Pop Top Sucker. It could be harder to use with a can of soda, but I’m sure we could MacGyver it onto a can with duct tape or epoxy. I guess it’s also possible that the extra sugar from the sucker combined with the cola *might* increase the incidence of tooth decay. But hey, kids tend to have baby teeth and they are going to fall out anyway, amiright?! And that just leads to more visits from the tooth fairy, which makes summer even more exciting and fun!

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #203: Soda Pop Top Sucker — 95 Comments

  1. Well, personally, I just can’t think of anything better than giving my child a soda…except for adding a sugary, sticky, mouthpiece to the top of it. It’s like Type II Diabetes right in the convenience of a bottle! Haha! Who thinks of these things?!

    • I know, right? Who doesn’t want to give their kids soda with added sugar? It’s a no brainer! Hahahahaha

  2. Seriously, what will they think of next!! But on a lighter note, it is 90 degrees here today and I for one couldn’t be happier. I know I sound crazy, but the hotter the better. This is so my weather and just so stinking happy is summer and not winter and snowing!! Have a great weekend ladies :)

    • NINETY DEGREES??!!! THE HOTTER THE BETTER???!!! Oh, Janine. That is more shocking that putting a sucker on a soda bottle. Bless you and enjoy the summer! (I’ll be hiding out in the air conditioning until September!)

    • Hahahhahaha. OMG! Yes! This sounds just like the thing a grandma would give your child…right before she hands him back to you and returns to her own house!!

  3. This scares me because if something like this is out there, my kids are sure to find it! Sugar is like crack for my kids (well, for all kids, really…and me if I am being honest). It turns them from my sweet mild-mannered kids into foam at the mouth, bounce off the walls, desperate for more sugar monsters and the sugar crashes? AWFUL! Knowing Nico, my reason for anti-anxiety meds, he’d attach one of these to a Red Bull and off he’d go. Must NEVER let them find this!

    • Destroy the evidence right away, AnnMarie!! Lucy is JUST LIKE THAT. She is perfectly fine but when you sugar her up…YIKES. This cannot be used in conjunction with Red Bull!! EVER….Hahahahaha!

  4. Just the thought….disgusting. These could also be used as “fly tape” at picnics. When the kids get tired of them and leave them around, we can place them strategically around the picnic area to attract and trap flies and bees. You know they are going to be all sticky and drippy, might as well put all that deliciousness to good use.

    • Exactly! And you’d have the eternal gratitude of all of their moms for the gift!! It’s a total win!

    • Oooooh, good point. Moms need a pick-me-up, too! You’ve got to be careful you don’t have your sugar crash before the last kid is in bed, though.

  5. YIKES! Oh, and not to burst your bubble or anything, but corn is a grain. 😉 Still…TOTALLY almost a health food! *rolls my eyes* A dentist invented this, guarenteed!

  6. *Corn* syrup practically a vegetable – love it! :)
    Oh Pinterest…

  7. Ermagawd!!! This was a product created for Honey BooBoo!! Who needs Pixie Sticks when you can just suck on your sugar source WHILE you’re drinking it!?! Think of all the energy you’d save cutting one step out!

    • Honey Boo Boo *would* love this!! She really needs to know about this product. It’s the perfect addition to her special Go Go juice!!

  8. I hate to say it but this almost makes sense from a money making standpoint. Not the dumbest thing they’ve ever had.

    • Oh, yes. I bet they are making a killing. That’s good because you know their kids’ dental bills are enormous.

  9. Oh terrible! I hate the idea that you can ‘dress up a boring old soda’ or whatever. A soda is supposed to be a treat in itself. There is no end to the useless things being invented, is there?

    • No end at all, Robin. Which is good for us because we need things to find on Pinterest for Fridays!

  10. I could totally see my daughter wanting one of these…she loves ring pops, so I am sure she would love this. Good news is it would be attached to a WATER bottle, as my daughter doesn’t like to drink any kind of soda. (Yay!)

    • My daughter is the same way, Jennifer! Lucy only drinks water. It’s literally the only fluid she will drink. She can’t stand juice or anything carbonated. The down side is she won’t drink milk either, but I’ll take it!!

    • It DOES work on water bottles…but also Red Bull…and it will even work on a 2L bottle if you’re REALLY thirsty! Isn’t that awesome!! 😀

  11. I told my daughter she can’t have soda until she’s 30! I have never liked it so my parents were lucky with me. Fizzy chemicals that burn your throat?! No thanks. I still laughed out loud at this. Insanity. Would love to see what regions this sells best in.

    • You know it’s the South, Tamara! It’s hot and people love their co-cola. (Which is what my mamaw called ANY soda drink)

    • Exactly, Melinda! It’s exactly what growing bodies need…and it will make time at home with the kids this summer so much more fun to boot!!

    • Hahahahahahaha. I found it several places on line, but I don’t know about brick and mortar stores. I’ll update you if I find out! 😀

  12. Oh the sugar highs that would be created with this gizmoo. And then the sugar crashes too! Ladies and gentlemen, get your popcorn ready. There’s about to be a real entertaining show!

    • Add in the screaming and ranting of the moms trying to care for these kids, and you’ve got the best show in town, Kristen!!

  13. A parent’s nightmare! I can’t stand them drinking soda and now I am going to give them soda with a swig of candy. Yay…just hand me that drink right now.

    • Hahahahahaha. Exactly. I do imagine the parents who are doling these out this summer are drinking heavily just to cope.

    • I have to admit, this thing isn’t as awesome as the Romance Pants you wrote about this week, but not much could be. I may never get over those babies!

  14. I like using epoxy to hold it to a can of pop, it can’t be any worse for them. I have a sweet tooth, but this one made my throat close up.

    • You’ve got it. If you are giving your kids cola with a lollipop chaser, it’s hard to do much to it that will make it nutritionally LESS valuable. Epoxy can only be helpful here.

    • Hahahahaha. We’ll never stop as long as there is a Pinterest and people keep pinning, Chris!! 😀

  15. I bet if they really used their noggins they could come up with a baby bottle version of this. A candy nipple would be a healthy choice for those moms that like to give their babies sugar water before bed! ARGH!!! I can’t believe you find this stuff. So crazy!

    • YES!! Maybe we should go ahead and get a jump start on the baby bottle version right now, Stacey. Babies don’t even have any teeth yet, so you don’t even have to worry about cavities!! PERFECT!! 😀

  16. What in the doo hickey heck?
    Who made this? Obviously, someone with no children and playing a practical joke on all parents in the world. Heck, I’m an adult and would get hyped…soda and sugar! Really???

    • I just looked it up, Khloe! The dad that made this did so because his daughter loved to dip her sucker in soda while eating it so he thought other kids would like it, too. CAN YOU IMAGINE??!! Good grief.

  17. See I am trying to give up soda and this right here would not be good. My kids would love it I don’t give them soda often but they have had it.

    • While my 9 year old only drinks water, my 13 year old LOVES soda. Ugh. We don’t have it around the house for that reason. I’m sure he’d love nothing more than candy to go with it. Thank goodness I do the shopping!!

  18. When I think back to some of the candy-like things I ate as a kid I’m horrified. Does anyone remember the candy that was basically sugary goo in a toothpaste-like tube? So gross. Why did I think that was a good idea?

    • Hahahaha…you thought it was a good idea because it was AWESOME, that’s why!! Hahahaha. Now why your parents ever bought them for you…that’s another story!! When I think my parents would buy me those giant pixie sticks I wonder what they were thinking! That’s just like letting your kid down a cup (or 2) of straight sugar!

    • Bwahhahahaha. This is just like Skittlebrau! Hahaha. Excellent reference! You’re our people, Suzanne!

  19. LOL! If I would have only known about this when my kids were growing up. Perhaps they would have been circus folk from all of that extra energy instead of being sedentary computer nerds and musicians.

    • Hahahahahaha. I’m keeping this in mind since mine are still young enough to change course. I better order several cases of these. The circus seems loaded with employment opportunities!!

  20. And I’m sure the “cool thing” now a days is to walk around sucking on your pop like it’s a baby bottle too. What will they think of next?

    • Bwahahahahaha. I’m sure you are totally right. That’s just outrageous and stupid enough to be the next teen trend.

    • Hahahahaha. It is the perfect drink/candy combo for a backwards lunch! We know it had to hurt your fruit loving heart to even look at this monstrosity! Thank you for hanging in there, Ilene!!

  21. Wow, now that I know this, I can totally stop with the hassle of pouring pixie stick dust into my kid’s soda pop and finishing it off with a ring pop chaser! Way to go, Pinterest! I love multi-tasking and this is just the ticket. You’ve seriously saved me precious seconds.
    Girls, you outdid yourselves here…love the sarcasm and love these posts. (Virtual High Five here).

    • Hahahahahaha. Thanks, Karen! We are happy to have brought you this multi-tasking genius idea! 😀

    • That is a FANTASTIC idea, Alison! If you pin it, we’ll definitely pass it along on Pinterest! 😀

  22. Doesn’t it look so bad for you that it looks like they took an 18 year old and gave her ponytails to sell this stuff?! Like somehow the FDA was like “NO! NOT FOR CHILDREN!” and the evil marketing geniuses were all, “Bwahaha!”

  23. All I can do is giggle helplessly! I may have to get some of these for when my nieces and nephews visit, as an auntie I have an obligation to “sugar em up, shake em up” and then give them back….this sounds perfect!

  24. What in the heck is wrong with people? Soda Pop Top suckers? Have someone challenged them to make all of our children pre-diabetic before the age of 18? smh This is definitely a Pinterest Nightmare!

    • Oh, I’m sure my kids would love me best of all if I’d buy this. I’ll have to settle for “meanest mom in the world” by saying no, I guess!!

  25. There are not many things that leave me speechless but this is one of them. Seriously? What’s next? Pixie stick straws? Dear Lord. I don’t know about you but my kids need a “Benedryl” sipper. They need downers people!!!

    • VERY good point, Allie!! We need to balance things out with a Benadryl sipper. (and you should TOTALLY patent your Pixie Stick Straw idea because that could make you rich!)

  26. Actually, corn isn’t a vegetable, it’s a grain, which is a carb, which actually will add to the energy level and raise sugar levels anyway. Bring on the diabetes!!

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