Ashley’s birthday is at the end of the summer. I mentioned this before when I was debating whether or not to gift her with a Ryan Gosling soft sculpture mini bust made entirely of wool (Or so they claim. It looked like some dryer lint and a touch of pet hair may have been utilized as well.)
You know. I like to get her practical things she can really use.
I just double checked and the sculpture is still available, but I’m having second thoughts. Last year I gave her a silver “The Dose of Reality” necklace that she wears at least once a week. That really puts the pressure on me to step it up, hence the Ryan Gosling realness of the sculpture.
But I don’t know, guys. Although she loves Ryan Gosling, the necklace went over *really* well. It’s got a proven track record.
So I did what I always do when facing a conundrum. I consulted Pinterest!! I was so happy to find what I think might be the perfect gift solution for Ashley!
Pinterest Nightmare #652: Human Snaggletooth Necklace
That isn’t some porcelain replica of a tooth. NO WAY! Do I look like a cheapskate? That is an honest to goodness 100% HUMAN MOLAR** TOOTH that has been upcycled into a fashion statement! (**Disclaimer: It could possibly be a bicuspid. Teeth weren’t really covered in medical school.)
If you know Ashley well, you know that dental hygiene is very important to her. In fact, she carries those flosser stick things with her everywhere she goes. I’m really thinking that combining her love of jewelry and her love of teeth into one present could forever seal my position as a top-notch gift giver in her eyes.
I can already envision how it will complement and complete her wardrobe.
As an added bonus, the artist will even hand select a tooth for the necklace based on my personal preferences of root number and presence/absence of cavities. You don’t often get that level of service when purchasing a body part based product.
That’s a relief because I don’t want Ashley walking around with some inferior, cavity riddled tooth that just fell out of someone’s mouth. I can only really consider this if I know I’m getting quality enamel here (and at least 3 roots, if I’m being honest).
The maker of this masterpiece also promises that teeth used for her creations were acquired “ethically”. It’s comforting that the designer isn’t going around punching people’s lights out hoping to loosen up their best choppers or raiding dental office medical waste containers at night.
I do have few concerns. Does it lack creativity to give Ashley a necklace two years in a row? Should I check Pinterest for jewelry made of other types of waste materials that might have special meaning to her like kidney stones? Am I a fool to consider anything but the gift of Gosling?
So what do you guys think?
Is this just the item that will make Ashley’s birthday unforgettable or does this deserve the standard “Oh, Pinterest. No…just no”?