The 4th of July is next week and it’s time for Americans everywhere to call up some friends, squirt on the bug spray, and fire up the grill for a cookout.
There’s really only one place to turn when you want to be sure you have the most interesting and noteworthy cuisine on the block. That’s right PINTEREST!!
I guarantee you, if you incorporate the items below into Independence Day, your friends will be talking about you for the rest of the year!
Pinterest Nightmare #704a: The Ham Dogger
This one is a high concept kind of product, so bear with me as you drool over that totally appetizing photo.
You place uncooked hamburger meat into the Ham Dogger apparatus and use the clear top to mold the hamburger meat into a hot dog shape. Slap that baby on the grill and…VOILA! You have yourself a hot dog shaped hamburger!! A Ham Dog!
The Rollie Egg Master has already taught us that cylindrical shaped food is by far the easiest to eat. With The Ham Dogger, you will gain independence from eating hamburgers in the customary round shape that we all find so cumbersome and annoying! Finally!
And really, it’s a great idea because who doesn’t love biting into a food anticipating a specific flavor, only to have a different taste cross their taste buds?! SURPRISE!
But that’s not all. This next one will definitely catch the attention of all your guests.
Pinterest Nightmare #704b: Spread Heads Ketchup Charlie Bottle Topper:
You’re totally hungry now, aren’t you?!
Ever since the US government declared ketchup a vegetable in 1981, we’ve all been trying to trick our kids into eating more of it. What better way to ensure that children everywhere will clamor for ketchup than to make sure it looks like it’s hemorrhaging onto their ham dogs? YUM!
Think of the possibilities if you use it for dispensing relish.
But if you prefer classic hot dog flavor in your hot dog shaped food, Pinterest didn’t leave you out!
Pinterest Nightmare #704c: The Happy Hot Dog Man Hot Dog Cutter
This beauty was brought to our attention by a tweet from @HandbookMomma and THANK GOODNESSl!
It’s a little device that takes an average hot dog and turns it into a little man who looks like he’s been flayed open. INSTANT FUN, amiright?! Sure it kind of makes the hot dug bun look like a coffin when you place the Happy Hot Dog Man inside, but don’t worry…he’s HAPPY!
How do I know?
Wait…should he be wiggling like that in front of innocent children?
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.