Pinterest Nightmare #704: The Happy Hot Dog Man And His Friends

The 4th of July is next week and it’s time for Americans everywhere to call up some friends, squirt on the bug spray, and fire up the grill for a cookout.

There’s really only one place to turn when you want to be sure you have the most interesting and noteworthy cuisine on the block. That’s right PINTEREST!!

I guarantee you, if you incorporate the items below into Independence Day, your friends will be talking about you for the rest of the year!

Pinterest Nightmare #704a: The Ham Dogger 

d92a5c8d83ddc3709ba4fc24ecec64c2

As pinned from Solutions.com

This one is a high concept kind of product, so bear with me as you drool over that totally appetizing photo.

You place uncooked hamburger meat into the Ham Dogger apparatus and use the clear top to mold the hamburger meat into a hot dog shape. Slap that baby on the grill and…VOILA! You have yourself a hot dog shaped hamburger!! A Ham Dog!

The Rollie Egg Master has already taught us that cylindrical shaped food is by far the easiest to eat. With The Ham Dogger, you will gain independence from eating hamburgers in the customary round shape that we all find so cumbersome and annoying! Finally!

And really, it’s a great idea because who doesn’t love biting into a food anticipating a specific flavor, only to have a different taste cross their taste buds?! SURPRISE!

But that’s not all. This next one will definitely catch the attention of all your guests.

Pinterest Nightmare #704b: Spread Heads Ketchup Charlie Bottle Topper:

c3a609a9a8612b875daaf1d6a60efece

As pinned from Amazon.com

You’re totally hungry now, aren’t you?!

Ever since the US government declared ketchup a vegetable in 1981, we’ve all been trying to trick our kids into eating more of it. What better way to ensure that children everywhere will clamor for ketchup than to make sure it looks like it’s hemorrhaging onto their ham dogs? YUM!

Think of the possibilities if you use it for dispensing relish.

But if you prefer classic hot dog flavor in your hot dog shaped food, Pinterest didn’t leave you out!

Pinterest Nightmare #704c: The Happy Hot Dog Man Hot Dog Cutter

19a39c4526ca651584be7133ba1ca777

As pinned from Amazon.com

This beauty was brought to our attention by a tweet from @HandbookMomma and THANK GOODNESSl!

It’s a little device that takes an average hot dog and turns it into a little man who looks like he’s been flayed open. INSTANT FUN, amiright?! Sure it kind of makes the hot dug bun look like a coffin when you place the Happy Hot Dog Man inside, but don’t worry…he’s HAPPY!

How do I know?

happy-hot-dog-man

Wait…should he be wiggling like that in front of innocent children?

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

 

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #704: The Happy Hot Dog Man And His Friends — 118 Comments

  1. We got three for the price of one today. How did I ever live without these, lol!! Seriously, I like my hamburgers the way they are in shape, the ketchup coming out of the guy’s nose just so disturbing and the shimmy-shake had me cracking up. Great job, ladies!!! :)

    • I can’t decide which is more disturbing…the nosebleed ketchup or the inappropriate shaking that Happy Hot Dog Man is into. Kids may be scarred for life seeing either.

  2. {Melinda} You just keeping topping yourself every week. The ketchup dispenser .. well, clearly I should have eaten breakfast before reading this post. Ummm… yuck. And the dancing hot dog …. that image is going to stick with me for the rest of the day. This is just not normal. Who buys these things?! :)

  3. Was this supposed to make me hungry? Or never want hot dogs or hamburger again ;o) Ummm. sorry just didn’t really find it that appetizing. Let’s dice some squash and throw it in that baby! Squash dog! YUMMO!!!

    THanks for linking up! Hilarious ;o)

    • I’m a meat eater and I find nothing about that appetizing either, Denise! BLECH! I think I’d rather have a squash dog! 😀

  4. Ketchup from the nose was *so* appetizing! And excellent point about the relish! Ha! :)

    • Having that might make my kids want to put relish on their hot dogs! The grosser the better is generally their motto.

  5. hahahaha! That is nearly all I can say. I saw something on Pinterest today of cutting hot dogs into little octopi. (octopuses?) I thought that was a bit scary but then I saw this. This is a brilliant compilation. Well, done! So festive and season-appropriate.

    • OH, MAN!! I need to find the octopus dog! That sounds like a MUST for the Oh, Honey…No! board!! Hahaha. Off to search right now!

  6. Ok. #1: I just think that ham dogger makes hamburgers that look like giant turds. *gags* #2: That bottle topper turned my stomach. #3: Do we want our kids to be cannibals or dance like that in public? I don’t think so!

    Pinterest, you have gone too far!

    • Oh, I’m keeping my fingers crossed you’ll have a Ham Dog filled 4th with a little wiggling Happy Hot Dog man who is covered with nose dispensed ketchup!!!

  7. I don’t want any wienie shaking in front of me like that.. especially one that’s getting ready to go into my mouth. And is that a TWINKLE in it’s eye?? You’re gonna shake your wienie at me AND twinkle your eye?!

    • Hahahahaha. You’re so right! His eye is totally twinkling at us! Oh, you are a saucy one, Happy Hot Dog Man!

    • Bwahahahaha. I think you have coined the new catch phrase for the Pinterest Nightmare!! That sums up almost all of them!! 😀

  8. I haven’t had a hot dog since I found out how they were made back in the 4th grade. Maybe if I had the happy cutter I would have had them any ways!

    • I have a rising 4th grader and I don’t want her anywhere NEAR the Happy Hot Dog Man. Maybe I ought to make she she knows how hot dogs are made!!

    • Could not agree more, Lisa. But if they are going to sit around making these things, I’m sure glad Pinterest is letting us know…just so we can keep an eye on them!!

  9. Oh I hate when you think you are eating/drinkin one thing and it’s something else! Once unknowingly I got a caramel cup in my Halloween booty as a kid that looked just like a peanut butter cup and it gagged me. And I like caramel!

    • That’s totally it, Robin! Even if you like the flavor you get, it’s revolting to expect one thing and taste another. Blech!

  10. Disturbing on so many levels! Thank you Dose Girls for this highly entertaining way to start the weekend! Love reading your Pinterest Nightmares every week. Guaranteed to make me laugh, snort, or spit out whatever food/liquid is in my mouth!

    • Hahahahahahaha. Thanks so much, Nicole! We find it best to view Pinterest when we aren’t eating or drinking. We often have violent reactions to what we’re seeing!! 😀

    • I know, right? How did we grow up without the wonder of the Ham Dog or the wiggling Happy Hot Dog Man! We need to get them immediately and make up for lost time!

  11. Memo to self, no hot dogs or hamburgers for the next two weeks….so disturbed right now. OK, I may never be able to eat a hot dog again EVER without seeing that wiggly dance because some things you just can’t unsee…anyone have brain bleach? Hahaha, thanks for always giving me a good laugh on!

    • Yes. That is SO gross, right. I can’t think of anything I want to eat that has come out of nostrils. Nothing.

    • I won’t be forgetting that dancing Happy Hot Dog Man any time soon, Jennifer. He’ll haunt my dreams.

  12. That nose picture definitely turned me off. :)
    My husband loves hotdogs with a passion!! I’m not a huge fan of them, but I’ve had to learn to eat them more than ever since we’ve got married.

    • Marriage is about the give and take, isn’t it Crystal? Maybe if you show him the ketchup nose thing it will turn him off of them, too!!

  13. I may be lame but that hamburger thing is pretty cool…lol

    That snot ketchup thing is in the words of my two year old”eeeeewww nasty!” and the inappropriate dancing of that flared hot do…in the words of you ladies “no, pinterest, no…!” lol

    I love how you guys find these crazy things. I find crazy furniture.
    Use hashtag #freakyfridays on our instagram at @kgstyledesigns and see the ridiculous furniture pieces that are out in the world…

    We also post them to our FACEBOOK wall just in case you don’t use instagram…
    http://www.facebook.com/kgstyledesigns

    • We don’t do Instagram (we’re not cool enough) but I’m going over to your FB wall to look right now!! We love anything freaky!!

  14. The good news about the Ham Dogger is that you would only need to purchase one type of bun for your hot dogs and burgers. Does Heinz still make green catsup? That might be the perfect compromise between a bloody nose and chunky relish.
    Thanks, as always, for tracking down these “must haves” from Pinterest!

    • Oh…I think they might still make the green ketchup!! That’s exactly what that dispenser needs…or..um..doesn’t need, I guess. Ew!!

  15. Since Sweets has a penchant for snacking on what comes out of her own nose (I know. Ew. Between that and chewing off her toenails onto the floor, we are all kinds of appetizing in our household!), I am sure she would be fine eating what comes out of the condiment nose guy.

    • I’m completely sure it would turn your Tofu Dog into the happiest wiggling little soy man ever, Ilene!!

    • Hahahaha. Thanks, Raquel! The more time you spend on Pinterest, the more these little gems suddenly pop up out of nowhere. We guarantee it! 😀

  16. That is crazy, holy nitrates! I think I saw Gumby in that last image. Wow, these are unreal! I haven’t had a hot dog in so many years, but this just begs me to go all out this 4th and bring on the buns! Slam dunk, Pinterest and dose girls. Thanks for inspiring the sodium erthybate takeover! Love it!

    • Bwahahahaha. It does totally look like a Hot Dog Gumby!! Who doesn’t want to have Gumby between their buns!…er…wait….

  17. I confess, I used to cut dill spears into “pickle people” that look like that hotdog for my friend’s daughter. Now I’m thinking about how she gleefully bit their heads off, and hoping I didn’t create a tiny serial killer…

    • PICKLE PEOPLE!! Aw!!! That sounds cute!! Let’s try not to think of what happens when we eat the people shaped foods! Hahaha 😀

  18. That nosebleed dispenser is just disgusting. I wonder if people actually buy any of this stuff (they must, or it wouldn’t be on Pinterest) and WHAT they possibly could be thinking?!! But once again, you guys manage to keep us all laughing with the super sleuth Pinterest work!

    • I am 100% sure that people buy these weird things…all of them. One persons’s nightmare is another person’s dream!! (although for most of these you really have to wonder how)

  19. Hey, I literally just bought hamburgers and hotdogs at the grocery store. You mean to tell me I could have given my family a one-of-a-kind experience this holiday and I missed out? For shame…maybe next year 😉 Thanks for this post…it made me laugh!

  20. I’d been working on my Pinterest food boards and then ….. this. I

    n the ham doggers defense don’t many of you meat eaters want all beef hot dogs? Is this not the same? Is it somehow different? But I do have to say that the Ham Dogger is a hum dinger. Okay, I’ve been up to late. I think I’ll just call it a night. :)

    • Hahahahaha. An all beef hot dog still doesn’t taste like ground beef, Carli. I think an all beef hot dog has too many weird cow parts to taste like anything else. Wait, let’s not think about it.

  21. Ommm eewww to the ketchup thingy coming out of the nose and the hotdog burger thingy actually looks pretty neat I may try one of those lol

  22. Ham dog maker… um, no! However, as someone who used to have to make dino nuggets beg for their lives in order to get my children to meet them, I can sort of appreciate the idea of making a hot dog into a dancing man.

    • My kids used to LOVE those dino shaped chicken nuggets, too! I think the Happy Hot Dog Man should put on some pants if he’s dancing that way, though.

  23. I had no idea such things existed. Wow! That catsup dispenser is disgusting!!!

    • Completely disgusting, Patty. They must have had a 7 year old running the product development department!

    • Of COURSE you need a special device, Rabia!! You couldn’t do a precision cut like that with a mere knife. You need to put your ham dog in the plastic Happy Hot Dog Man apparatus and press down in order for your ham dog to wiggle about like that!! 😀

    • I like hot dogs, but not shaped like wiggling men. I’m not a ketchup fan…especially after seeing that dispenser!! Yuck!

  24. You know what really upsets me about the hot dog man? That my first thought was that it makes the hot dogs less of a choking hazard for little kids. Just like the octodog gadget (turns hot dogs into octopuses) and the thingie that just scores the casings so a bite of hot dog can’t plug a child’s windpipe.

    I don’t have children and do not work in the food safety/anti-choking industry. Yet this random crazy crap is in my brain. Including multiple hot dog transformation devices. I never thought I’d say it. but sometimes the Internet is a bad thing.

    • I’d have to say the octodog gadget is 100% better than the Happy Hot Dog Man if it prevents choking. (It may be just as disturbing, though)

  25. Yeah so I totally had all of these thing planned for the 4th, I expect you ladies to be on time at my house for the ham dogs!! Lol!

    • Hahahahaha. We would have LOVED to come over for the 4th bearing ham dogs! We would have been the talk of the party, right?!

  26. I am laughing too much!! I’m so glad I was able to share such joy of the Happy Hot Dog Man with you – but I’m not letting him anywhere near the ketchup dispensed through a nose, that’s just taking it too far!

    • We are beyond thrilled that you shared the Happy Hot Dog Man with us! We knew right away he was perfect for the 4th of July! 😀

  27. Thanks for the laugh! I don’t think I have ever seen a more unappetizing hotdog and don’t we have a hard enough time trying to keep our kids from playing with their food as it is!

    I think we will stick to those pesky round shaped hamburgers with ketchup from a regular bottle (you know we can now buy Whataburger ketchup at HEB!!!!) and continue to serve up questionable ingredient filled hotdogs for our celebration!

    Happy 4th!

    • We decided to go old school with our 4th, too. We didn’t have a single ham dog…but maybe NEXT YEAR!! 😀

  28. How awful that I am only seeing this today? I am way too late to order any of them, even Amazon prime does not work that fast!

    Ew.

    Good thing I do not eat hot dogs or hamburgers. Cause, well, ew.

    • Hmmmm…no hot dogs or hamburgers at all. Sadly you won’t be able to enjoy a delicious ham dog any time soon. Poor thing. Wait! I bet you could mold some other food into the ham dogger and STILL have a hot dog shaped meal! BAM!

  29. Call me an old relic. I like my hamburgers round. Even square ones from Wendy’s are weird. I don’t play with my food so the happy hot dog man is definitely out. And well, no words can properly imply what I’m thinking about the hemorrhaging ketchup apparatus.

    We are going to do our 4th in a basic way. Hot dogs on the grill. Buns. And some Cape Cod Kettle Chips. We don’t go see the fire works. Too many crowds and we stay home and keep our parrot and dog calm with all the fireworks that are set off in our neighborhood.

    Are we boring, or what?

    • If you’re boring then I am too, because that sounds WONDERFUL!! (But you ought to at least *think* about the hemorrhaging ketchup apparatus. It would be a real conversation piece at any gathering) 😀

  30. What I would love to know is who thought to themselves, “This hamburger would taste so much better if it was shaped like a hot dog?” Yuck on all three accounts. None of it made me want to run to my next barbecue. As usual, you guys made me laugh at your finds. :)

    • RIGHT?! Why would anyone think that ham dogs were the ONE THING missing that would make our lives complete? (Well, except for all of the cylindrical food enthusiasts who bought a Rollie Egg Master, of course)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *