I Just Have To Remember That It Is Not Really Real

Listen, Facebook, I get it, okay.

You exist so that people can share their lives (every.single.detail.) with friends and family near and far.

I love keeping up with the people I have friended. Nothing is more fun than seeing a monumental moment from someone and having the chance to chime in with a way to go. Or when I see a status from a friend having a hard time, I appreciate being able to lend my virtual support.

But sometimes it is just too much.

And I have to remind myself that it is not real. That what is shared in this giant space is only what people want me to see. I have to remember that life isn’t always as fancy and fun as the Facebook version of it.

When I see pictures of people taking amazing vacations, I have to urge myself to know that what I am not seeing are the pictures of the piles of laundry that will be waiting when the suitcases are unpacked. Or the pictures of the children having a total meltdown because they couldn’t have a 5th brownie after dinner.

Or when I see marriages on display that look like something out of a Hollywood rom-com, I am not seeing the night before when the wife screamed at her husband for once again making the kids cry at bedtime. Or the husband losing his temper because he saw the latest Target bill. (Dude, toilet paper and laundry detergent is really expensive these days!)

Oh suck it, Mary Sue!

Oh suck it, Mary Sue!

Now that is more like it. Hey Totally Normal Wife, want to be our BFF?

Now that is more like it. Hey Totally Normal Wife, want to be our BFF?

Sometimes, I wish people felt like they could sprinkle in a little more reality into their Facebook lives. Pull the curtain back just a little more on what it is *actually* like to be a grown-up. It would probably make all of us feel a little better about own lives.

It would definitely make me feel better.

 

 


Comments

I Just Have To Remember That It Is Not Really Real — 179 Comments

  1. This is a great reminder. Maybe we need a separate one called “RealBook.” Funny to read this right now, as I have the most recent Time magazine on my desk, and they referenced this survey item: “Have you ever felt BETTER about your life after spending time on a social media site?” 60% said NO.

    And this gem: When asked if they think other people make themselves look prettier, happier, and more successful than they really are on social media, 76% said YES. When asked if YOUR social media profile reflects what YOU are really like, 78% said YES.

    Hmmmmmmm……..

  2. Ok the second totally sounds so much more like reality then anything I know and seriously that I why I love you both, because you never sugar coat it and say it just as it is!!

    • Thanks so much Janine! Glad you enjoyed…honestly, though, wouldn’t you *rather* read the 2nd one! πŸ˜‰

  3. What people share in social media is not the whole story – it is usually the *best* part of the story.
    Maybe we’re afraid of judgement? Is it competitiveness? I don’t know. It would be nice to let more reality into social media, because perfection is not possible every day.

    • I think there is a level of competitiveness and also fear of judgement at work…ironically, I, myself, judge far more harshly those who sugarcoat it! πŸ˜‰

  4. I try not to badmouth my husband to others, so I can’t post anything about his ridiculous expectations about how much groceries and household products should cost.

    I think most people have a hard time wording truthful compliments so they use gross exaggerations to say something nice. “Every time I look at you my heart still skips a beat.” Really, Mary Sue? Really?

    • Yeah, I don’t mean go out of our way to badmouth our spouses, but would it kill Mary Sure to sprinkle in a little humor at least?! πŸ˜‰ Like, “Every time I look at you my heart still skips a beat…of course, you are also dangling the baby over the stair rail, so you know…!” πŸ˜‰

  5. It’s always food and vacations! I remember when I was pregnant and nauseous and too broke to take any form of vacation for the next 7 years (still am) I would get particularly upset with Facebook. There’s also Instagram to annoy me. Why..do people post up to 20 pictures of the same thing? I’ll never understand that one!
    I like Totally Normal Wife. She can be my friend.

    • So true Tamara…I think the vacations can be particularly irritating when you are sitting at home surrounded by clutter with no hope of a trip anywhere but Target in your future…or maybe that is just me! πŸ˜‰

  6. I admit to sometimes indirectly sugar-coating my marriage by not mentioning the fact that my husband farts all the time, leaves his dirty clothes all over the place, and sometimes parents our kids like an a-hole, but I do it more out of respect for his privacy than anything else.

    So when I see posts like the one from Mary Sue, I’m all, “Yeah, she must be on crack” or “Her meds are really working”. Totally Normal Wife can be my BFF for life.

    • HA HA HA Julie! Well, you know, you can’t share *everything* on Facebook! πŸ˜‰ I always think the meds thing, too if we are being honest! :)

  7. I think I am definitely more Totally Normal Wife, although I try to be funny when I complain or post a kid-ism. The Mary-Sue type posts always give me a twitch… I mean heck, it took Lawn Boy and I a year to admit on FB we were a couple… I don’t see me Mary Sue-ing it in the future unless it’s a joke!

  8. You know I’m all about peace and love, but what do you think about meeting up with Mary Sue under the flagpole with me after school?

    Oh, and Totally Normal can’t be your BFF because she’s mine!

    • HA HA HA…we will totally meet you under the flagpole to take on Mary Sue! πŸ˜‰
      And we can all be BFFs with Totally Normal! :)

  9. That’s why I love Twitter the most.. it’s my safe haven where I can whip out passive/aggressive snips at the Rooster if I am overly agitated. It doesn’t happen that often.. not because he’s perfect (hardly) but rather I am good at airing my aggravations right then and there and then I move on with my life πŸ˜‰

    • LOL Kristen…I tend to air my grievances on the spot, too! But Twitter is the perfect place for snips! πŸ˜‰

  10. I rarely post from my personal page on Facebook because I find it hard to be “real” on there. I don’t want to be Mary Sue and post only the happy, rosy stuff. But, I don’t want to constantly complain and whine either so that people think I don’t appreciate my blessings. I definitely think we have to take it all – good, bad, and ugly – with a grain of salt and realize we are not seeing the whole story, ever.

    • Yeah, I don’t mind a nice post every now and then and I am not always look for a full-on rant (although I am fine with those), but I wish it was all just a little more real. πŸ˜‰

    • I really like your explination. I am guilty of the Mary Sue comment; but, I realize that it does not represent my relationship completely to say the least.

      Monika

  11. {Melinda} I always say that FB is like the “Christmas-card version” of people’s lives. You know, before all this social media, people would send out their Christmas letter, telling you an incredibly white-washed version of their year of bliss! :) Personally, I tried to keep up an “image” for a long time, but found it far too exhausting and now just “keep it real.” Far more people can relate to that anyway! :)

    • Such a good point Melinda…that is EXACTLY what it is like…my very favorite Christmas letters were the ones where people would actually bust out with the truth! πŸ˜‰

  12. Ha! The only problem is that I don’t want to hear people complaining about every little thing either. Facebook is such a weird space. Much like Pinterest, you’ve got to take it with a grain of salt!

  13. Oh I LOVE it!! When you see me go days without posting, you’ll know it wasn’t all rosy over here. Hahaha! There is a lot of farting, yelling, and general messiness going on over here…life is not always rosy. And if it was, it certainly wouldn’t be very exciting. Who wants to live with perfection….its got to be a lot of stress to keep up with that. I like to yell once in a while. It makes me feel better. I love Totally Normal Wife. Who is she? I need to meet her!

    • We really want to meet her, too Michelle…she could totally be our blogger friend, right?! πŸ˜‰
      Laughed out loud at what it means when you don’t post for a few days!

  14. I rarely post statuses but when I do they are pretty honest and blunt.. I don’t sugarcoat anything.. I may not be all out there with the bad stuff but I do put stuff like I am gonna kill my kids and hide somewhere..lol.. not that I really would.. but there are days..

  15. I just told my sister that I need to hide a friend’s FB updates because she’s always posting pictures of her travels. Like, every month. Jealous much? :)

  16. Good post…and I have seen Twitter families on vacation with the kids in meltdown…and lost. Makes life more real. Have a great day.

  17. Oh, Mary Sue strikes again! How I’ve missed her. There’s a real life Mary Sue on my FB that actually complained about the challenge of how to get the new Mercedes convertible (that they just bought for the beach house) to their second vacation home (a lake house). Hmmm, should they drive it or have it trailered there? Oh, and did I mention her husband surprised her with it? Yeah, I’m wringing my hands with worry for her.

    • Mary Sue can’t come around all the time Lisa…she is too busy being perfect! πŸ˜‰
      Honestly, I pretty much vomited and then cried about your FB friend…that is EXACTLY what I am talking about here!!

  18. Funny column. I can’t say anything because I’m not on Facebook, sorry. I would have made the kid cry because I would have eaten that fifth brownie myself.

  19. Checking in from the SITS FB page. You’re dose of honesty is refreshing! I have to say that I tend to be the Debbie-downer on FB, being too honest about my days. If I ever posted something like the first example, my friends and family would rush to see who’d hacked my page. Excited to look around some more!

    • Welcome Michelle! Make yourself at home…we don’t bite…but we do ask you to help pick up the clutter! πŸ˜‰ Laughed out loud at your comment…you are my kind of FB friend! :)

  20. I know MANY Mary Sues….grrrr… Especially living in in what I call a Stepford Wives Type Town, everything seems so perfect…but we all know the reality behind those closed doors.

    I openly admit that I want to stab my hubby in his face while he sleeps and let him suffer in pain all night *evil grin*…but then I don’t want to clean the sheets so I don’t go through with my plan.

  21. So very, very true! I know I only post the best parts! I certainly don’t want anyone to know that Satan mama emerged yesterday and yelled at the kids, even though I’m trying to do the whole “no yelling” thing.

    • LOL Alexa! Gosh, I have no idea what you could be talking about…mostly, because I would never try to do the whole “no yelling” thing! πŸ˜‰

  22. Some of those travel pictures make me pretty jealous. (<—did I just type that out loud?)

    Here is a real update from me this morning: I've been up since 5am working. It would be really nice if everyone else in my house would straggle out of bed now that it is 11 o'clock. #alreadytiredmom

    • Love your update…not the being up since 5 a.m. but the honesty part…and just between you and me the travel pictures make me jealous, too!

  23. ps if I EVER post “i have the most amazing husband in the world” you know I’m lying. I love him, but for reals y’all.
    But case in point, as soon as I finished replying here, I clicked on facebook, and this was the post at the top of my feed:
    “I have an amaaazing (I dare say the best) husband ever. :) I can’t imagine going through this life with anyone else by my side. He is the perfect man for me! No one else could understand like he does or tolerate me like he does :) My only regret is that my life with him didn’t start sooner! :) (but then again I would have my E if it had so again, proof that Gods timing is indeed perfect!)”

    • OH MY GOD…that was an actual status on your feed???!!! Was her name Mary Sue?! πŸ˜‰ And your first sentence made me BURST out laughing!!

  24. I have friends that not only posts things like that for birthdays but constantly…it is just really sickening!! That’s why I’ve hid their feeds from my life. Every other day, there is no need to write things like “My husband is my best friend and I am so happy to know him.”
    Maybe just maybe…she can write “My husband just farted in my food and left the toilet seat up again…” then I’d unhide her feeds until then she remains a ghost on my timeline.

    I seriously think that people who write constant things like these are hiding something from the rest of the world. They want to make their relationship seem like Peaches and Cream when it’s more like Rotten Avocados and Dirty Socks…#imjustsayin’

    Keep it Touched,
    Khloe
    http://www.kgstyleblogs.com

    • Could not agree with you more Khloe…am totally nodding along to this entire comment…yes, yes, yes!!

  25. My husband and I have been talking about those FB (and Instagram) posts that sound as if they were written by a Disney Princess. I love your Totally Normal Wife response and vow to bring more reality to my own FB posts!

  26. Bwahahaha you said suck it Mary Sue that was hilarious. I like to be real also I just put on my twitter page the other day that the hubs and I had a huge fight over communication and I was not speaking to him verbally only through text. We are still talking through text and this fight happened Saturday. The ones who are real are the best.

    • Oh yes, Kita…been there, done that my friend!! Good luck…maybe you can try passing him notes next! πŸ˜‰

  27. Holy Moly – this is hilarious. Of COURSE people only share what makes them look awesome. But my favorite is gals who air their dirty laundry via Facebook. Like, “Oh my husband is a dirt bag, he’s at the bar while I’m having contractions”. Then a week later, “My hubbie is the best daddy in the whole wide world, we’re so blessed”. Those people are my FAV.

      • The dirty laundry airing people are THE BEST!! Like a non-stop train wreck! Thank you so much for stopping by…headed your way right now! :)

  28. PREACH!!!! My girlfriend and I joke about Facebook Living all the time. I actually have a vintage post on this very topic that I never posted. If we stalk every vacation picture, stylish new digs, new house pics we’d go insane.

    • You should totally post it Andrea…would love to read it! Completely agree with everything you said here! :)

  29. Oh I know people who make it looks like their lives are perfect on Facebook! I try not to complain too much on FB, but I do try to keep it real and not just show off all the rosy-colored aspects of my life (though, in all honestly, I don’t post nearly as much as I did a few years ago). But maybe it makes people feel better when things aren’t going well? It’s kind of like Bree in Desperate Housewives–she did a great job painting a picture of this perfect housewife, when in reality her life would be crumbling around her. Ok, well hopefully people’s lives aren’t actually that bad, but like you said, just remember not everything is as it seems on the surface!

    • Good point Bev…I am sure for some people painting a nice picture does lessen the stress of knowing that their lives are hard…I guess I just wish they would open up and let everyone support them honestly! :)

  30. Facebook was invented for people who want to act like their life is amazing and beautiful and everything is perfect. Isn’t that the whole idea behind it? Of course people only put beautiful pictures and posts up, because they want to pretend their life is a fairytale.

    You guys are awesome and funny and have wonderful husbands and kids that also probably piss you off a lot. Which is why you post about it on your blog, because you’re awesome and funny. :)

  31. AMEN!!! This is so true and so many times people get caught up in portraying what they want there lives to seem like on facebook as well sometimes we find ourselves being caught up on the “picture perfect” image that often times is created on facebook and other social media forums. Great read… really makes you think! Thanks for sharing :)

    • Thank you so much for your comment Leah! It is just nice to remember from time to time that we don’t see the whole picture! :)

  32. I am totally guilty of the sappy/unrealistic sounding posts on Facebook and on my blogs at times. I am also guilty of the “this is reality” posts, too.

    I think those totally sappy/unrealistic sounding posts come from a truth buried deep – the one I don’t let out much. They come from the side that I keep quiet and hidden until the days when it feels safe to let them all out and share just how amazing that hubby of mine is or my kids or sister or or or. I suppose if I cared to share all of my emotions more often (the lovie dovie ones, not the crazed momma on little sleep ones – those are oddly easier to share), then they wouldn’t seem so grand or over the top.

    I do know what you mean, though. Some people are of the “Yah, right! There is no way that’s a real person! No one is THAT nice or has THAT amazing a life!” kind. I’m sure there is the rare exception, but most people are just showing their best faces…not reality.

    I wish, too, that people would keep it real a LOT more often. That and not share so stinkin’ much! Yikes! Think before you type people and hit “post”, that’s all I ask!

    • Great comment Julie! I definitely wish people would show all sides of themselves, because then the sappy posts would be easier to handle! πŸ˜‰

      • Agreed! Oh, and I must admit – my sappy isn’t as unbelievable as Mary Sue up there, but it can get pretty cheesy (which you know – you’ve read my posts!). Even when I get sappy, I try not to say things I don’t mean and will read later and be tempted to type, “I think I was on something yesterday…” or “I WAS HACKED!” beneath it. :) Truth is, I do love my family and friends a ton and I just don’t think to say it enough…and if I did more often, I know my posts would probably sound a little less Hallmark and a lot more …well, just like I love my family and friends. :) Either way, I am ok with my sappy moments, but I will try not to be like Mary Sue. And I will also try not to be like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde either….YIKES! πŸ˜€

  33. 100% agree with this! I also have a hard time trying to remember that Facebook only tells half the story. When I start to feel down about my life, and start comparing myself to everyone on Facebook, I know I need to take a step back and just not log on for a few days.

    I keep reminding myself that people don’t like to show the bad parts of their life. So, sure, everyone looks like they have the perfect life on Facebook, simply because they’re only showing the good.

    • Exactly Kristen! But what if everyone showed the good and the bad?! We would all be so much better off! :)

  34. Every time I say this, I get jumped on by people who insist that FB is real. Sometimes, in fact, they share TOO much. And what gets the most reads and “likes” is all the high drama. It’s not reality, it’s hyperreality. Good to remember its not YOUR reality, you are just passing through it.

  35. Most of my stuff is pretty true to life. I just avoid posting about my husband at all usually. He is a much more private person than I am, so I tend to leave him out of it entirely. I don’t brag about how in love we are, but I also don’t out him for peeing on the toilet seat!

    • That works for me totally Rabia…I don’t actually post about my hubby all that often either, even though he is probably more active on FB than I am! πŸ˜‰

  36. PREACH. I know that personally, my facebook account is a very narrow lens of mostly happy (and sometimes truth). I am keenly aware with every status update that someday, my kiddo’s might be reading what I wrote. I don’t want EVERY thing they see about their childhood via facebook to be me bitching and moaning about how hard motherhood. And I’ve got a few friends who ONLY post passive aggressive status updates or use it as a sound box and frankly it’s annoying to read day in and day out. According to what they post, they are NEVER enjoying life.EVER. If you want me to give you their names, just let me know… (j/k)

    • HA HA HA!! Oh, I definitely do not enjoy the people who are constantly “woe is me” either…I have a few of those in my feed, too! πŸ˜‰ They drive me bonkers…I like a mixture of happy and normal! :)

  37. You have really outdone yourselves with this one!!! I am laughing hysterically. So much so that my husband (who is not an amazing life partner, daddy and soul mate) came over to ask me what the hell was so funny. I have ALWAYS wanted to go on FB and comment what I really think like “Suck it Mary Sue!” You’re absolutely right about keeping FB in perspective and I for one appreciate the most honest posts and not all the lovey dovey bullshit about how everyone loves their kid “to the moon and back” Yeah, I’d like to SEND my kids to the moon and back!!! Thanks girls. You rock.

    • HA HA HA Allie, your comment made me BURST out laughing…so much so that my children came running to see what was so funny! I told them that I was sending them to the moon! πŸ˜‰

  38. If I can’t be real, I don’t post at all. And the funny thing is, I post more on my blog page than my personal one. I tend to enjoy the interactions there more.

    Ys, being real is what I’m all about.

  39. I’m sort of guilty of this too. I’m not a natural “sharer” on social media. But I present things in a certain way because it’s hard to be open about everything. I’m an introvert, and being too “real” is just hard. But I definitely know what you mean. There’s a line between being an optimist — and presenting your life and family in the best way possible — and being a gloat.

  40. I have to agree. It definitely isn’t real. Most of us are only comfortable showing the good side of ourselves or our lives. We don’t want the world to know we fight, we cry, we have fears, or else negative. It makes us look less than successful.
    Great post like always.

    • It just seems sad to me that we define success by appearing happy all the time, but you are totally right!

  41. AMEN, girls! I still don’t have a fb account and although it’s a great connection tool, I think I’d personally have more drawbacks than benefits. Many people end up living in a facebookbubble and don’t ever want to get “poked.” Love your honest post! :)

  42. Seriously! I just got pissed at FB today. No lie! It’s really hard when you know the updates are a complete crock. I’m so with you on this! I don’t post on my personal page ever. I hate that thing. I wish there was a way to have the fan page without the hassle of being forced to see puke worthy updates from “friends” in the first few updates that you just can’t ignore when you log on to manage your blog page.
    Is it terrible I just like you guys (my blog friends) better? LOL When did blog friends become more real than IRL friends? It’s a strange world we live in, but it’s true. On my fan page I post real me stuff. I keep my marriage private, but I post about real things, like eating frozen pizza fourteen nights in a row or scrubbing the pee crust from the toilet-AGAIN! It’s just for fun. I don’t need it to believe my life if fab.

    • We say that a lot actually Adrienne about our blog friends…they just seem to be able to stay real in a way that many others cannot! We definitely enjoy our fan page a lot! :)

  43. I kinda like the sappy stuff. I like the funny stuff too. I post maybe once a week on my page (besides sharing my blog) and it’s only when I witness something hilarious or unusual or I’m so excited about something I want to share…and usually it’s not overly personal.

    I know FB is often unreal so I don’t have much expectations.

  44. Ha, too true. I have one friend who talks all.the.time about her amazing husband, and I just don’t believe it. :)
    I like Sarah’s idea of RealBook :)
    Stopping by from #SITSummer.

  45. I just went to check my current FB status to make sure it was real enough to comment on this. It is. “Sigh… sent the kids out to swim. They came back in with stories of baby spiders all over our back yard. Ick.”

    I used to have a neighbor who posted amazing details of her fabulous life. One day I accidentally got her bankruptcy notice in my mailbox. That makes it a little easier to tolerate the beautiful people on FB. giggle.

  46. I totally agree with you. Sometimes people only share the good and aren’t genuine. But we all know that’s not the whole story. An example that really resonates with me is growing up with this family that seemed totally perfect. Everyone was like, “They’re the best!” And they were. The parents were involved in our school, in our church. They were like the nicest family ever. Then they got divorced and it was like, whoah, did we even really know what was going on in that household? I love the examples you posted. They cracked me up!

    • We had friends like that, too when I was growing up…in fact, I just found out a couple years ago that the couple is divorced and even though I am now an adult it floored me, because I totally remember them growing up being really happy!

  47. I must have a unique group of friends on Facebook. They share pretty much everything. Some get to the point where I can’t even read their status updates because they are so negative day after day after day. *unfriend*

  48. I don’t scroll FB too often because I can’t deal with all the sap. But you can’t blame people for showing off the positive! I only want to give off positive energy and that’s truly all I’d like to be reading, just not overkill.

  49. You guys gave me a very well needed laugh today!!! Thanks!! I have to say that I’m cool with the sweet and sappy messages at birthdays and anniversaries, though I do like a little reality thrown in. But like someone else said, when every post is roses and butterflies I really do expect to hear about the divorce the next day. It is a hard balance between sharing too much of our lives, and not being real enough. I agree with yet another comment, FB is really like one giant Christmas card!! Thanks again, so funny!!

    • Glad you enjoyed this Kathy…I definitely just am looking for a balance…you know, if you are headed on the Hawaiian vacation of your dreams could you at least show me the madness of trying to pack for it?! πŸ˜‰

  50. Loved this I actually posted on my facebook page on fathers day about how it strikes me so odd that on fathers day everyone has WONDERFUL, Super Amazing, best ever husbands, but the rest of the year that is not the story I’m hearing….I guess some people just like to have a place somewhere to look perfect, not me lol I share my misery with others and I shared your post on facebook
    Domesticated Breakdown

    • Thank you so much for sharing this! You rock! :) Cracking up about Father’s Day…you are SO RIGHT!!

  51. This is true. It isn’t real. I guess it’s not Facebook’s fault, though, really. In fact, Facebook is the one being used to showcase people’s egos. I don’t feel bad for them, though, as they seem to be getting filthy rich off of people’s insecurities.

    And thank goodness some of the crap people put up isn’t real. The good, the bad, the oh-so-ugly. Thank goodness. Sappy junk…and some of this: I saw this teenage girl at the pool the other day making that fish face girls keep making in their pictures where it looks like she’s squeezing her lips all big trying to look like Angelina Jolie while taking her own picture with her cell phone…so she could post that crap on Facebook. What if her face froze that way?!

    Thank goodness it isn’t real!!!!!!!!!!!! Great post.

    • OH MY GOD, I just BURST out laughing at your description of the teenage girl and the what if her face froze that way!! HA HA HA!! God, I love this comment so much!! :)

  52. I’d way rather see the overly lovely dovey or perfect life stuff on facebook than people who post really awful awkward stuff on there like, “Happy birthday to me. I guess I know who my real friends are.” or “Some people will just never understand…” AHHH! I can’t stand those, those people get “hidden from feed” on the spot.

    • I totally cannot stand those people either…and I realized another kind I don’t enjoy are the people who insist on posting the vague statuses…either say it or don’t!

  53. I read this at work and kept pushing the wrong button and didn’t get my comment. I DO agree with this but there is also the opposite extreme. I have “friends” who are constantly so down and out on FB that I need to call a help line. Eventually they get taken off my feed and ignored because nobodys life could possibly be that horrible. I also prefer the fake happy all the time people (sorry, I’m one of them cuz it ain’t nobodies business:-*) over the people who constantly post chain mail. Jesus will still love me if I don’t like or share your post. He told me so. In the Bible. Where Facebook is not mentioned.

    Now you’ve got me all worked up! This is why Facebook is on the bottom of my social media list.

    • Oh no, you are so right…there is nothing worse than the people who constantly are down in the dumps…they annoy me so much, too!

    • Thanks so much Kelley! So glad you are here…hope you stick around…we are all about the sarcasm around here! πŸ˜‰

  54. You’re absolutely right. Nobody wants to remember the hard times, so it’s easiest to only post about the good stuff. And everything you said about the downside to fabulous vacations? That was definitely us last week with mountains of laundry and an over-tired toddler. What I also didn’t post about was being shut in for a whole day with a sick baby on a cruise ship. We definitely had fun, but paid a huge price for it!

    • A sick baby on a cruise ship???!!! UGH. That is an absolute NIGHTMARE!! I am so sorry…glad you were able to salvage some fun out of the deal! πŸ˜‰

  55. Love, love, love this! ISometimes I just don’t get the lovey dovey husband-wive status thing. I mean if you live under the same roof why can’t you just tell it directly to his/her face? For me realbook is maybe twitter? πŸ˜€

    • Oh my Gosh, I cannot tell you how often Lisa and I have this conversation…that drives her NUTS!! πŸ˜‰

  56. *sigh* I soooo agree with you on this! I get so annoyed with folks that post sappy relationship crap all over Facebook! Really! Sometimes I wonder who they are trying to convince…us or themselves!

    • Exactly Britton…seems like if your relationship was so fantastic you wouldn’t need to brag about it! πŸ˜‰

  57. I don’t think I can add a single thing to that- you said it SO perfectly. And you may not be shocked to hear that pretty much ALL my FB updates, especially my blog page, are filled with the real, messy, unpleasant, stressful parts of my life as a mom. No sugar-coating here! You gals are the best…

    • That is why we love you Stephanie and regularly stalk you on Facebook…because we like the non-sugar coated statuses…the only sugar coating we want is on our cereal! πŸ˜‰

  58. I agree whole heartedly, I actually left fb for a year because my timeline made me depressed. Then I realized what you did, fb is a show. A place for people to announce and brag and show off. Most times you can see when it’s genuine or when someone is trying to prove something.

  59. I enjoyed getting a dose of reality about facebook from you. It is a good reminder that what we are seeing is what our friends or companies want us to see. No one’s life is perfect. Hopefully we can share in each others joys and leave our green eyed monsters at home. I do love some of the inspiration that is shared. It is important to enjoy your real life. Spending time with friends on facebook is a cheap substitute for making plans and enjoying real time with friends!

    Linda Davidson
    http://www.sharingthanks.blogspot.com

  60. The people who act as though their life is perfect on Facebook makes me roll my eyes. I’m pretty blunt on my page. I’ve had people defriend me for it. Oops.

  61. I love you girls. So very much. Keepin’ it real is where I am at, for sure, but I do try not to gripe about the old man (who is younger than me) because it’s just not the way it goes. Then again, I also don’t sing his praises with syrup or anything like that, and you know I tell mamahood like it is, my sistahs. xo

    • I don’t honestly really use FB to vent about my hubby either (that is what the blog is for, wink, wink!), but like you I also don’t gush. I just want reality, which you totally provide and I love you for it! :)

  62. I take Facebook very lightly…for a while I would just get all crazy thinking awful things about my “friends”: “why did she post that?” “EWWWW..TMI” “why would you share that with anyone?” and “do you really have to tell me again how fabulously smart and incredibly talented your already arrogant and condescending kids are?” See, it’s ugly. Then I had to get some perspective and realize it’s all about attention, everyone needs it in some form and today lots of people reach out this way. Now I hide people that make me feel bad or irritated – they never know and I can fill my feed with people/blogs/content that I actually enjoy. Mary Sue = hidden, Totally Normal Wife = subscribe.

    • Everyone just wants attention…great point Stephanie! :) And yes, Mary Sue would totally be hidden from my feed, too! πŸ˜‰

  63. Have I told you lately that I love you?
    I am all for keeping it real! I’m also a sucker for believing too much of what’s on Facebook, but that’s just because I’m a middle-aged, overweight lonely freak in the wilderness that is Canada :)

  64. This needed to be said/written long ago! Not too many people telling the whole entire truth, which makes me unable to relate to a lot of Facebook folks.
    I like the real and authentic side of people and their lives, as I’m sure you all do too! So glad that you wrote this post!

    • Thank you so much Mariann! Glad you related to it and enjoyed it…we definitely like real people, too! :)

  65. I am so with you on this! We have friends who have issues–and I’ll leave it at that–but on FB, they’re all “You’re the best!” “No! YOU’RE the best!” And after I’m done vomiting in my mouth, I wanna call them out and be like: “LIARS!!!!”

    And now that my blood pressure has skyrocketing, I shall leave you.

  66. My husband and I joke about FB all the time. He will post or share something literally like 4 times a year. I do it rather often because of the blog, so I do try and keep things “clean” for my readers. I mean, I don’t to give a shout out to a friend and say “I can’t believe I drank BOTH bottles of wine by myself at dinner, who drove me home?” It will be more clean like, “I enjoyed our dinner last night, give me a call soon!”

    • HA HA HA Jennifer…well, yes, no need to put it all out there! πŸ˜‰ This was really funny!

  67. I laugh when people post the super happy stuff and not the “damn! the kid peed in his bed again now I have to do more laundry that damn little shit!” because we all know that’s really what happens!

  68. You know, I always look at those lovey-dovey couples on Facebook, and wonder whether they even talk to each other face to face?!

  69. You know what is really getting to me lately are the couples who seem to communicate and have conversations via FB…. especially the ones where they express their undying love for one another… maybe my husband’s britishness (yes I just made up a word, but you know what I mean) has rubbed off on me, but shouldn’t pillow talk be left to the pillow?

    Ok, have been wanting to complain about that for a while, but for obvious reasons I can’t do that on FB (would hate to offend someone…)!

    • Um, yes, yes it should! Robert and I have this conversation all the time, because while we are both active on FB we are not active on there with each other…because like we live in the same house! πŸ˜‰
      Great comment!! Love it!
      And Britishness is totally a word!

  70. I definitely feel like there are too many people skipping down the street singing mary poppins. They irritate me, as do the Chronic Complainers.

    Somewhere in between, there is funny. I like to do Top Ten lists; my most recent one included calling myself The Poop Whisperer. So.

    πŸ˜€

  71. I just love this topic and all of the great comments about it – thank you!
    I have always wondered how FB would have turned out if you took the ability to post actual pictures off the sight. It seems to me like a lot of people want know how someone is “looking” currently and that really bothers me.
    I totally understand wanting to connect with friends and family – in a fun, stream-lined way – who doesn’t want that? BUT honestly it seems like since all of this technology has come about to “connect” people I think people are far, far more disconnected than ever. I miss the days of catching up on the phone and getting thoughtful, written cards in the mail. I know I sound old fashioned but they whole thing doesn’t sit well with me personally.

    • Could not agree with you more and cannot tell you how often I think about this…with the ability to connect 24/7 I do think we are more disconnected than ever. And I definitely think if the photo aspect of FB went away, then FB would go away!
      Great comment, thank you. :)

  72. Oh how I hate the “Facebook Front”. I think if you are going through a rough time, checking FB can make you feel worse and very stagnant in life. Statuses are usually two extremes of annoyances for me. They people who brag and the ones who whine too much. But if you update excessively I will block you. Because I want to see things from others as well.

    • The constant updaters drive me crazy, too! Like you I want to be able to catch up with everyone in my feed! πŸ˜‰

  73. RIGHT ON! Dude, the 4th (today) I posted cute photos. Meanwhile I wanted to KILL my husband. My son was telling us to take a time out. But you know… it’s ok that my husband disappeared with my son 1 hour before the parade on MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY and I frantically had to track them down. Turns out they were at the gas station watching youtube on the cell phone. WTHeck??!! Then he has the nerve to say, “well it all ended up ok so what’s the big deal?” Happy 4th of july.
    And you…keep singing it. IT’S NOT REAL.

    • Oh Jen, I love everything about this comment. Everything. Because this right here IS MY LIFE, right down to your hubby’s response. I also would have been told, “Relax. This is supposed to be fun!”…so girl, I feel you!

  74. Gah, I get it. Someone once said that facebook is the highlight reel of our lives, and I agree with that completely. Sometimes I have to close out of it completely and take the app off of my phone just so I can stay off of it and stop making myself miserable. I’m embarrassed to say that it happens to me more than I’d like to admit. But then I just hide people who annoy me and I’m happy again. Works like a charm. :)

    • No, I actually totally understand that…I went through a period where I just felt depressed every time I logged on…I get what you are saying completely.
      Highlight reel is a perfect description!!

  75. Sometimes I have to pull back on the reins of being too real. Seriously, I can’t stand the braggers of kids hitting homeruns and getting scholarships or being in the gifted programs. I would love to post: Today my son struck out and had a complete meltdown in the dugout or I’m really hoping to come into some money before my kids go to college because their grades are not going to cut it. Just keeping it real, my friends. :)

    • Personally your status update is the one I would like a million times!! :) Because the braggers make me want to stab someone! πŸ˜‰

  76. Once again you guys made me smile and nod my head — you nailed it!
    I always have to remind myself that most of the friends I have on FB have houses just as messy as mine, and that even if they post lovey-dovey stuff all over the place about their spouse, everyone has their ups and downs in a relationship.

    Stopping in from SITS

  77. Seriously! When I read some of those I can’t help but think they spend a good amount of time scripting it before posting!
    It’s always better when it’s spontaneous and from the heart.

  78. YES. I love this post. Sometimes I get carried up in the whole Hollywood-romance relationships online, but you’re right – I don’t see the crazy arguments that happened the night before or have been happening for weeks.

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