Pinterest Nightmare #728: Meggings

I was talking to the teenage sister of one of Lucy’s friends the other day. She’s a great girl, and I like to chit chat with the teens from time to time to make sure my lingo is current.

What I discovered shocked me. No, it wasn’t her copious usage of “swag”. It wasn’t even when she threw a YOLO at me. What got me was her revelation that the “in” thing at her high school was guys wearing leggings as pants. They are known as….meggings.

I was fascinated and distressed all at once. Had this man-trend come to Charlotte and I’d totally missed it? Is this really a thing?

So I did what I always do in times of confusion. I turned to Pinterest for guidance.

Pinterest didn’t let me down…

Pinterest Nightmare #728: Meggings

Meggings

Pinned via http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/news

Feast your eyes on the raw masculinity of…MEGGINGS!!

Most of the meggings featured on Pinterest are capri length, like the ones above, which really compounds the virility of the look. But if your man is a little more traditional, don’t worry. There are definitely ankle length examples as well.

It makes sense that meggings are taking the fashion world by storm. Most men put comfort far above any other criteria when getting dressed. What could be more comfortable than meggings? They have the benefit of technically rendering you ineligible for an indecent exposure arrest, but without the discomfort and constriction of actual pants.

But the benefits don’t stop there. Look closely at those meggings. Do you see an unsightly panty line? In order to wear meggings, a man is making a real commitment to going commando. But it’s not like your grandpa’s commando in outdated baggy pants. No, sir! It’s a commando that provides a feeling of safety and cradling than men long for.

Meggings are versatile, too! ย The stripey capris above are jaunty with a hint of classic flair that you can envision in the fast paced world of New York high finance. But pair them with a casual cropped blouse like the pin below, and you’ve got a perfect day to evening look for a night on the town. People won’t be able to take their eyes off of this guy and what he’s bringing to the party, amiright?

meggings2

Pin via http://www.styleite.com/

Still not convinced? Meggings are a foolproof form of contraception. They are 100% effective, which is a better track record than the birth control pill or babysitting toddlers. Would you sleep with a man who came to the door wearing capri meggings and a polo shirt? ย I rest my case.

Oh, Pinterest. Noโ€ฆjust no.

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #728: Meggings — 161 Comments

    • Every. Single. Level. Tracie.
      In fact, there are levels of horror I didn’t even know existed until I searched “meggings” on Pinterest. *shiver*

    • They are truly the stuff of nightmares, Janine. They are worse than a horror film because you don’t even know to cover your eyes before it’s too late!

  1. Those are horrifying. Truly. But let’s talk for a moment about how hilarious you ladies are. Because your comedic writing made me laugh harder than those ridiculous meggings! Well done!

  2. The first one? Looks like an overgrown baby.
    Women shouldn’t wear leggings as pants, never mind men!
    Give me a man in a white t shirt and jeans, any time :)
    (And not skinny jeans. Just regular straight cuts please, thank you)

  3. I saw this on Pinterest this morning before I saw this and couldn’t stop laughing. Oh this is so wrong…the first one is bad enough…the second…I have tears rolling out of my eyes. You couldn’t pay my husband to wear those…well on second thought, he and his friend did wear dresses to soccer practice one day for a joke (he bought them at goodwill)…so I guess I never can tell what he’ll do for a joke.

    • Bwahaha. ๐Ÿ˜€
      I can’t decide if the thought of my husband in meggings is hysterical or nauseating. Wait…it’s definitely both.

  4. Those baby blue ones, especially? But then I clicked the striped ones (on the iPad and images are not showing up right away, I had the pleasure of waiting for them to load, slowly…) GAH!

    It is bad. I wonder if they have stirrup pants, too? *snort*

    • ANDREA DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!!! I can feel them churning out the man-stirrup pants in a factory somewhere right now!!!

      The slowly loading megging. That sounds very…racy!

  5. Oh Dear Lord Almighty! A guy would have to be paid very well to model these. I would say they are the worst fashion for men, except earlier this week a friend of mine posted a photo of a man sporting a mankini. It was frightening….although the manscaping the guy had done was impressive. Ick. Just ick.

    • Oh, WOW!!!
      I’m off to search Pinterest for “mankini” right now!! That definitely has the whiff of Pinterest Nightmare about it! Squee!!!

      • I searched and found one frightning one. But the picture my friend posted is in real life, not a model. It is really a string bikini with a bit of butt crack covering and then in front a bit of manhood covering. I would share the picture, but since it is some random stranger, that would just be weird.

        • Wow. We’ll have to take your word for it! Just the mental picture is disturbing enough without actually having that image seared into our retinas forever! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • I hate to tell you, but the high school where this teen has seen this trend…is in suburban Charlotte, North Carolina. Sign of the apocalypse? You be the judge.

  6. There is not a single man I know who would wear meggings, thank goodness. I don’t need to see all the junk – eeewww. And with teenage hormones, why would a 16 year old guy want it all out there? I’m baffled.

  7. I am not really a fan of leggings in general – I think pants to be worn in public need a little more, shall we say, structure. :)

  8. He just needs a murse to go with them meggings and some moobs and he’s all set!

    (Seriously, this looks like ballet gone street…and I’m terrified! Those meggings in ballet are the reason I cannot enjoy it. Same with unitards…and any man uniform that involves spandex. It just disturbs me on a level I cannot explain…I guess I just want a guy to look manly, hence the reason my hubby will NEVER own those things or anything like them – on pain of dismemberment and death – and why I like him in a very manly beard…but I digress.)

    • Terrifying and disturbing are some of the best adjectives to describe this trend. Spandex and men do NOT go together well outside of the Bolshoi.

      • These are definitely as bad as the nude color leggings…If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you must google…no, Pinterest them. I am sure they are there!

        • The lady who is the current Bachelorette wore nude leggings on the show a few weeks ago. It was horrifying. I may have to find them on Pinterest.

          • SHUT UP!!!! Surely you jest! *shivers with revulsion* Those should DEFINITELY make a Pinterest Nightmare post! The world needs to know!

    • Bwahahahahaha. Oh, that really does put the drop off routine on a whole new level, doesn’t it?! As if teens don’t have enough to worry about without bringing meggings into the picture.

    • They would go with either look seamlessly, wouldn’t they? That’s really all the indictment you need on meggings right there.

  9. I seriously would leave Leo if he ever wore those. He’s 6’4 and 210lbs. Can you imagine? Oh, YUCK! Why in God’s name would any man wear those? They look ridiculous. It’s a teen trend? Great, something else to worry about Nico coming home with.

    • Let’s hope it dies as a teen trend immediately!! Don’t teen boys have it rough enough without worrying if their shirt falls low enough on their meggings to cover them adequately?! I’m with you. I’d leave Robert if he ever went the megging route…after I took a picture, of course.

    • Just when you thought women wearing leggings as pants was the most hideous sight possible….meggings hit the scene!! Whew!

    • We need to know 100% less about what’s going on down south with these guys immediately–especially the guy in aqua. Can you imagine what happens to them when they get…um…excited. How do you hide THAT?!

  10. Are you sure they’d be 100% effective contraception? There is a special kind of horror there, and the wish to oh-dear-god-get-those-pants-off-that-poor-boy could backfire.

  11. The worst thing about this Pinterest nightmare is that it’s not just on Pinterest! I can’t believe real teenagers are wearing these and your young friend thinks it’s an “in” thing to do! I am horrified!!!

    • RIGHT?! But to be fair, she found it equally as hideous as I did. She was dumbfounded. At her school they wear them with Ralph Lauren polo shirts. It gives her the willies. SMART GIRL!!

      But the fact that this isn’t just something that’s only on the runway is terrifying.

  12. Can’t you totally see Daniel Tosh sportin these on Tosh.O? I am sending this post to my hubby. Grounds for divorce!

    P.S. Apparently your site is so scandalous that my company network blocks it. But I love you so much I’m giving myself mega thumb-ritis by replying on my phone.

    • After the summer of the “deep V” I think Tosh is totally up for a meggings season!!

      MEGGINGS GOT US BLOCKED!!! I think that just may be awesome.

  13. WHAT?????? OMG…I just can’t….this is so bad, but the first thing I thought of is what happens he gets…um…excited….uh HELLO THERE…..BWAHAHAHAHA

    • Thank you, EXACTLY. Can you imagine how hard that is for teen boys at school? (no pun intended) Are they CRAZY??!!

  14. I know you guys so well! When I saw it on pinterest the other day I was like man, this is SO a friday pinterest post for the dose girls !! :) I’ll be buying my hubby some for Christmas.

    • You DO, Nellie! Hahahahahahahaha.
      I had just finished writing this post when you clued us on to mockings. I was seriously depressed because that was an opportunity missed. It could have been a twofer! Another day, another day…

  15. OK so here’s my question – what if it were Ari coming to the door in meggings???? Would you shun him or is he the exception to these not looking quite so wrong?

    • Oh, FINE…..hmmmmmm…let me think…..EXCEPTION!!! EXCEPTION!!! Okay, make that 99% effective. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Oh, the horror of the mankini. Just when I thought there could be nothing worse than a megging. *sob*

  16. I knew when I saw the title to this post it was going to be something frightening and hilarious. Did not disappoint! I applaud your commitment to keeping up with the lingo of the younger generation. And look what it brought you! Meggings!!

    • And thank goodness for that. What if I had spotted meggings out at Target and I was taken by surprise?! I could have been scarred for life!

    • Bwhahahahaha. Oh, there is always a silver lining to these things and I think you’ve found it. I am definitely using that line at the next appropriate moment!

    • I’m not so sure, Stacey. I think meggings might be coming to a mall near you any minute. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

  17. What?? Nooooo? Where does this girl go to high school? Is her school bus a time machine and she’s going back to the 70s? I cannot see these catching on around here but what do I know?!

    • She’s in a pretty upscale suburban high school. I was flabbergasted! I can’t imagine walking around and having to cope with those things everywhere. GHASTLY!!

  18. Not in a million years. Who cares if they are comfortable? So are sweat pants, and with sweats you can’t see the guy’s camel foot. You do find some good horrible things each week, good job.

    • That’s pretty much my husband’s take too, John. Not in a million years. I’m fine with that approach. (although now I have a perverse hankering to at least gift him with some meggings…FOR THE BLOG) I don’t think he’d take it well. He doesn’t really own any crop tops.

  19. So I’ve been wearing boys clothes this whole time?! What the hell is wrong with me?!?

    • That’s another bonus for the megging! A lady and her man can SHARE!! But what if you reach for your best stripey leggings only to find they were worn as MEGGINGS the day before, and they’re in the dirty clothes pile. Limits will have to be set so there is no discord.

  20. The men are wearing the man purse so I saw this coming. I see men getting their toes done now do you know they didn’t have any seats at the nail shop because the men were in there. I am mad…………

    • Bwahahahah. Excellent points, Kita. The least they could do is leave leggings to us. It’s only fair!!

    • Thanks, Bill. I take it you’re not hoping to get any meggings in your stocking this year? I’ll tell Ashley to return them. :(

    • I’ll take a man dress over a megging any day of the week and twice on Sunday, Khloe. At least we’re not getting an eye-full with the man dress. (unless it’s a mini and then all bets are off)

      • Where shall I mail your man-dress then?
        Call it an early Christmas gift for your hubby.
        Tell him you shopped for it yourself and he’ll be pretty freaking impressed, …I’m sure of it!

    • If only, Jennifer. If only. But now you’ll be prepared if you see a meggings sighting out in the wild. Be strong.

  21. LOL! i’m simultaneously horrified and tickled pink by meggings! i havent been this torn over something since Starbucks decided post all the calories next to everything on their menu (ie. i dont want to look! yes i do!) also this made me lol- “…and I like to chit chat with the teens from time to time to make sure my lingo is current.” wise. very wise.

    • You are my people, Charlotte. The whole Starbucks posting nutritional info rocked my world. Just like meggings.

  22. Oh lord!! And I thought my husbands searsucker suit was bad!!! I have to say I agree with Alison, leggings are not pants for women or men!! As always thanks for the laugh!

    • See, you thought the seersucker was questionable. It just goes to show you. It could always be worse…

  23. GAG GAG GAG

    NOOOO Pinterest! You have to stop letting me down like this!

    Those men look like they came out of ballet practice and forgot to change their pants. And this is not a compliment. Also, meggings is the worst name for these things ever.

    • But they’re so stylish and on trend!! If you want to see something much, MUCH worse just search for “mankini” on Pinterest. Or don’t. Really…don’t.

    • If it’s in Charlotte you know it will be making its way to Columbia any day now. BRACE YOURSELVES!!

  24. Oh my, ladies! This one caught me off guard! For real, people??? I just gave in to guys wearing pink like last month! This is just not okay, men. Unless you are accompanying that ensemble with a cape and it’s October 31. wow, I’ll have to be on the lookout for these! One thing though, I bet it helps with the summer chafing of the thighs. I have resorted to bicycle shorts under my dresses these days in the Arizona heat. Great post, and thanks for the warning! LOL!!!!

    • See, they are very practical as well! Nobody wants chafing. I don’t think I’ve worn a dress without bicycle shorts since 1992.

    • I can’t either, Rabia, but apparently it does happen. For me the best laugh comes from imagining my husband in meggings going about his day. Hahahahahahaha. It would not be a pretty sight.

  25. I’m embarrassed to say that my first thought was that’s not soooo bad because at least the models are erm…built well enough to wear them. Now I am stuck with the visual of a not so in shape man trotting down the street in something like this. Ugh, I just gagged…this can’t possibly catch on, right?

    • Let’s hope meggings die a very quick and quiet death. (just like the dignity of any man who has ever donned a pair)

  26. Wow, I’m speechless. Frankly, I’m surprised that the male models agreed to pose for that. The guy with the turquoise meggings surely is hot enough to get other gigs. Lesson #798 for my 3 sons: Just. Say. No. It’s ok, sometimes money isn’t worth your pride.

    • Yeah, turquoise could do so much better. You know he’s sobbing into his pillow at night as he relives the horror.

  27. I am still trying to figure out what the most scary part is… The fact that this is trendy (yet I thought boys in skinny jeans were scary enough), the shoes without socks (because that is a pet peeve of mine), comando, or just the plain and simple fact they actually wear them in public on purpose. I think I will go pray to the clothing gods my boys stick with Levis!

    • Such a better way to go, Jeanne. The whole megging look is just fraught with horror from top to bottom.

  28. Did you know there is a tumblr site dedicated to men in meggings?

    I don’t know whether to thank y’all for the laughs, or curse you for the sudden eye blindness.

    • No WAY!!!! I had no idea!! I’m off to find it RIGHT. THIS. MINUTE!! The day of the megging has arrived!!

      • MY EYES…MY EYES. Whatever you do DON’T Google “Meggings Tumblr” and then click on the result. You’ve been warned. *sob*

  29. Haha! It’s funny you posted this. My husband saw them once not long ago and asked if he should get a pair. I told him if he did, I would never been seen in public with him! Nevermind the fact he has chicken legs! lol

  30. Sweet baby Jesus. I actually KIND OF think that these are adorable on those models. But then again those models could show up wearing tube socks and a fanny pack and I’d be down with them. To think of a real life dude in the real life world wearing them… barf. I can just see grandpa at Thanksgiving trying to get a “pass” for a pair like all the cool hipsters- beer belly and all!

    • I hear you!! Meggings might really lose their luster without the proper model attitude and genes (or with Uncle Jim’s pot belly).

    • Sorry, Christie. But now you won’t be surprised if you see this out there on the streets. It was for your own good. ๐Ÿ˜€

  31. NOOO!!! That cannot be a real thing! Please tell me you photoshopped this! What is this world coming to? *Note to self- start hanging around teenagers more to keep lingo current. I know that I learned YOLO once but it’s taking a while to come back to me… wait for it…Oh, phew. Got it.

    • YES! You’ve got to keep current. If you don’t, one day you’ll casually be on tumblr and nothing will make sense. The teens change it up frequently, so you’ve got to be on your toes!!

  32. Holy $HIT! I could not stop laughing. I wear leggings all the time, and love them. Had no idea that they are making their way to the other sex. I say, be free, be comfortable…go meggings!

    • Oh, good!! Thank goodness for meggings!! (A phrase that has never been typed or uttered in the history of the world until just this minute)

  33. Okay, I am equally parts entertained and grossed out! LOL! Ew. Just. No. No man should wear pants like this unless they play professional football for a living and even then only wear them while you’re playing the game! Too much of your “business” showing. . .and if you have just a “little business” you definitely don’t want everyone to know about it! Ha!

    • Bwahahahahaha. NOBODY wants to let their “little business” known to the world, Tracie! Nobody!!!

  34. I saw a post recently about “Mantyhose”. Google that, and I’m sure you will be even more grossed out. Bleh. Meggings or Mantyhose. It’s just wrong.

    • Oh, the mantyhose. They are horrid. Men just don’t need things clinging to them. No, they do not!

  35. Meggings are something I’d heard of and feared for a while now. Like manpris weren’t bad enough? As I looked at the first picture I thought, “At least he’s wearing a long shirt.” Alas, the second picture just about did me in. Seriously, anything that shows a man’s package quite that blatantly is probably going to send me running. I love sports, especially the Olympics, but I have trouble with the men’s diving and, even worse, men’s water polo. Those guys are in their thirties and older in little Speedos standing by the pool cheering. Eeek! It’s just too much for me.

    Meggings? No. Just no. Please.

  36. Oh my. In high school I couldn’t look at any of the boys on the swim team when they were in speedos, I had to look away. This is just as bad. Maybe if they wear shorts over them. Then maybe I could handle it.

  37. What’s all the fuss about? I’m totally gonna head on out and buy all my boys some meggings. I’m positive they will LOVE to wear them!! LOL (I should though – shouldn’ t I? Just to say their faces…) NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  38. That’s outrageous! Is that supposed to be like the new “hipster” look? To be honest, I still don’t understand “hipsters”. I’m too scared to look it up on Pinterest, because you never know WHAT crazy thing you’ll find there. ;x

    This trend is just… no.

    • Bwahahaha. I will search for “hipsters” the next time I’m on Pinterest, Liz. I am already laughing to think of what might come up!!

    • I know NOTHING about fashion. Nobody would dispute this. But even *I* know leggings as pants (on anyone) is a hideous Fashion DON’T. What is WRONG with people??!!

    • YES!! Just a little pair of running shorts. Is that so difficult, guys???!! I don’t know how you keep from laughing (and gagging) as you race!!

  39. I can’t even stand guys with tight pants…not to mention, meggings. It’s just WRONG! LOL….I can’t believe some made it a trend? Really? Even super models wear them…that still turn me off, big time.

  40. No, this is just wrong, it’s like adding the awkwardness of swim meets on the streets or in schools! Surely meggings are breaking some kind of school dress code to spare the young ladies the horrid sight!

    • Let’s all hope that schools across the nation are altering their dress codes to include a ban on meggings for the upcoming school year!

  41. My 6 year old loves his skinny jeans so this scares me. He would wear a pair of skinny jeans every day if I let him. Meggings at the gym or on a runway like above is the only way I could take this seriously. The striped ones are just over the top. Hiding this post from my son. Thanks for the laugh.

  42. Allow me to introduce sTitch Leggings:

    On the 28th of October 2012 two young city workers wore ill fitting female leggings to a fancy dress party in north London. These two individuals alongside another mutual friend have now tasked themselves with designing, manufacturing and selling male leggings to the fashion conscious Londoner.

    Head toย http://www.stitchleggings.comย to keep up to date with all the sTitch news

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