Respectively, Lisa and I have been married to our hubbies for over a decade each (Lisa has almost reached the TWO decade mark), so with each passing year the anniversary celebrations get a little more low-key. Like they have gone from fancy restaurant dinners by candlelight to cheese gorditas in front of the TV.
We know, y’all, we know.
So when we were planning out our week on the blog, I happened to mention that today was my anniversary. Which, of course led us to a conversation about weddings and what would make them a disaster. Beyond a runaway bride or a hungover groom puking all over the minister’s shoes.
Ashley: Oh my God, can you even imagine if there had a disaster at your wedding? Like what if your dress got tucked into your pantyhose moments before you walked down the aisle?
Lisa: Or your groom totally knocked your veil right off your head when he kissed you at altar like my husband did?
Ashley: Overall, my wedding was disaster free, unless you count our absolute inability to dance. I mean, we were worse than a couple 12 year-olds slow dancing to a Richard Marx tune! Thank God, we got married before You Tube existed.
Lisa: Having seen the video of the dance you speak of, thank God is right. That was just sad. And long. I thought it would never end.
Ashley: I KNOW (using my best Monica voice from Friends). Robert was in charge of the wedding song. I would have gone with the shortest song ever.
Lisa: Ironically, the shortest song ever is actually called “You Suffer”. You just can’t make this kind of stuff up.
The more we talked, the more we realized how much fun it would be to do a wedding themed Would You Rather for the week. Involving disasters…but Dose Girl kind of disasters…not ACTUAL disasters.
Picture yourself on your wedding day, in your dress, all ready to walk down the aisle to your waiting groom. Your bridesmaids look beautiful in their dresses, and the groomsmen look handsome in their tuxedos. And then you spy your husband-to-be waiting for you at the altar.
And instead of the tuxedo you know was ordered to go with the rest of the wedding party, he is wearing a tank top and jorts.
Oh yes he is.
You will have to pledge your undying love and commitment to a man wearing JORTS.
All of your wedding photos…you in your bridal gown and your hubby in JORTS.
The mental image is kind of jarring, isn’t it?
But at the end of the day, the only person who really suffers in this situation is you (and your wedding album)…and of course, your new hubby later when your wedding night is your first big fight!
So, our other scenario is more about your guests….
The wedding goes off without a hitch. You and the groom look amazing, and everyone heads off to the reception talking about how it was the most beautiful ceremony they have ever attended.
The doors open to the reception, and everything looks great. All the guests take their seats, and the food starts to come out. It is at this moment that everyone starts to notice that something is amiss. Maybe a female guest feels something brush across the top of her open-toed wedge sandals. Or maybe out of the corner of someone’s eye they spy something brown. It takes about two more seconds for the realization to occur that your entire reception site is infested with cockroaches.
They are on the tables, they are running across people’s feet, and they are even in the food!
Can I offer anyone an additional roll?
Needless to say, the memories from your wedding will no longer center around the guests talking about how they had never seen so many roses in a bridal bouquet before or how touching your handwritten vows were.
Oh no, you will be the cockroach infestation wedding. Forever.
So, Dose Peeps, tell us in the comments….
Would you rather walk down the aisle on your wedding day to find your groom waiting for you in a tank top and jorts OR have a cockroach infestation take over your reception?