Pinterest Nightmare #406: Don’t Forget To Put The Seat Down

Okay, men. We need to have a talk.

I’ve been seeing some pretty weird stuff on Pinterest lately that’s aimed right at your…um…throne.

Now men, I get it. The bathroom is your sanctuary. It’s your place to get away from it all and have a little time to yourself. You didn’t really think you were fooling us when you suddenly “need” to go to the bathroom when it’s time to do the dishes or put the kids to bed, did you?

But I wonder, could these be taking it a step too far?

Pinterest Nightmare #406a: The Bathroom Gaming System 

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As pinned from techeblog.com

Yes. These men are playing video games…installed on the floor…of the bathroom.

Right about now the women are saying, “What in the WORLD?! I’ll never see him again!” and the men are thinking, “Why did it take so long to invent this?” and “Can we get a screen on the wall for when I’m standing?”

You know these are destined to become standard equipment everywhere. The only downside is that they could lead to actual LINES in men’s rooms across the nation. THE HORROR! They are not used to that, the poor dears. It could get ugly.

But what if your woman simply forbids tearing up her imported travertine tiles to install your dream XBox or PlayStation?

Don’t worry, fellas! You still have choices!

Pinterest Nightmare #406b: The iPad Commode Caddy

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As pinned from Hammacher Schlemmer

This fancy toilet paper holder gives you gaming at your fingertips but the freedom from a major bathroom renovation. With this set up you can also check in on Foursquare and answer emails between rounds of The Legend of Zelda.

The only way this awesome item could be improved is if it charged your iPad while it docked (and also reminded you to get up and move around every 45 minutes so your legs get adequate circulation.)

But this next pin *really* surprised me. Although there are no men in the picture, I can *guarantee* you that this product was conceived and produced by a man.

I can even picture the scenario under which it happened….

Inventor man:  Boy, that was a HUGE Gordita I had at Taco Bell today. Man, my stomach is kind of cramping. I better find a bathroom.

5 minutes later…

Inventor Man:  WHOA!! I swear, I just lost at least 5 pounds!

Man friends: Next time you should weigh yourself before and after, dude!!

Pinterest Nightmare #406c: Toilet Seat Scale

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As pinned from ohgizmo.com

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #406: Don’t Forget To Put The Seat Down — 124 Comments

    • Good move, Janine. I’m not either. If we do a bathroom renovation, it’s so I can have a decent shower. If my husband saw that first one, he’d want to start lining up the contractor right now.

  1. Oh my gosh! Really, Pinterest?
    Do these have some sort of anti-bacterial shield on them? I keep wondering how you would clean them.

    • I really think cleanliness is not their first priority, Kim. I’m sure they never even considered it.

    • You are so right. We know they are hiding in there. Who among us wants to make *that* more attractive?

    • I’m with you, Allie. The one bright spot would be seeing the guys all lined up at the next ball game or concert like the rest of us. How would they cope?! HA!

  2. Oh dear! My favorite part of this post – You didn’t really think you were fooling us when you suddenly “need” to go to the bathroom when it’s time to do the dishes or put the kids to bed, did you?

    Ha! Yes, we’re on to you! And, seriously, who did you think you were kidding? It doesn’t take anyone that long to go to the bathroom!

    • EXACTLY, Nicole!! We know how long it takes to go to the bathroom. IT’S NOT 45 MINUTES!! We’re on to them.

  3. No, joke, my husband just dragged a kitchen chair into the bathroom to serve as a tabletop for his laptop. He is also preventing me from showering and therefore making me late! But I thought the timing of your post was priceless. I will NOT be showing him, however! :)

    • Bwahahahahaha. I have just laughed for 5 minutes straight, Erin. My husband would TOTALLY do that!!

      I think you should take this as inspiration! If you marketed some sort of bathroom table for laptops you’d become a zillionaire! Do it, Erin!! Opportunity like this comes once in a lifetime!!

    • That one was pretty fascinating, right?! The more you think about it, the grosser it is, actually. *shiver* It is the stuff of gross teenage boys’ dreams, though. You just know they’d be comparing results on Instagram.

  4. oh pinterest. Somehow putting the two together in the bathroom just makes it weird. But I bet the inventor has made LOADS of money on bachelors!

    • Oh yes, Nellie. You just know it! Women certainly aren’t wrecking their bathrooms for those things!!

  5. This is amazing. Sign me up! Just kidding…
    The scale is a little funny. It may answer the age-old question that I’ve seen debated on many forums – “Do we lose weight when we poop?”

    • Thanks, Eva!! Pinterest makes it soooooooo easy!! It always provides plenty of nightmares for the picking!! 😀

  6. Hubby already takes his iPad into the bathroom with him. I don’t understand a man’s concept of “going to the bathroom”. I go, I do my business and I’m outa there. They go in and don’t come out for hours!! How can they sit so long without their legs falling asleep? I’ll never understand it.

    • I’m in and out, too, Vicki! I have always wondered how they manage without their legs falling asleep. It’s probably best this all remain a mystery.

  7. No, no, no, NO!!! To all 3 of them, but especially the gaming system and the toilet scale! Can you imagine? I would never get the boys out of the bathroom if there was video games involved. That is just so wrong.

    • You and me both, Charlotte. I do not require toilet entertainment. Why do they? And especially if it means there’s one more thing for me to trip over in the middle of the night as I make my way into the bathroom.

  8. LOL! Really?!? People really come up with anything! I had a picture on my blog a few days ago of a potty with an iPad attached. Where on earth is this possibly a good idea?

    • Hahahahahaha. Perhaps there is a bigger market for toilet entertainment than we ever imagined, Britton! EW!

  9. 1. That’s disgusting. Think of the layer or urine grime that’s going to be coating that thing within a week… Because we all know there’s a splash zone for boys and their urination habits.

    2. Really? Your lap doesn’t work just as good?

    3. You’re right. The only explanation for this is that a man wanted to start a “largest dump” competition.

    I’m disgusted. Lol

    • Hahahahah!
      #1. I’d rather NOT think about this. At all.

      #2. You could get a serious neck crick looking down at your lap! This baby puts your iPad at eye level!!

      #3. It’s the only viable scenario. I’m 100% sure it was conceived just that way.

      I’m disgusted, too!!

    • NOOOOOOOO! Don’t quit Pinterest, Rabia!! We can only appreciate the perfect outfits and craft ideas if we sometimes see the bizarre underbelly, too. Hang in there!!

  10. My hubs would love that video game thingy in the bathroom he would never come out. A scale for the toilet seat no ma’am I can’t do it.

    • Kita, I would have to drive to the gas station down the street to do my business if that toilet seat were installed in my bathroom. I. Just. CAN’T!!

  11. Hmmm- I could use the toilet seat scale. My son can pee for over a minute (I’ve timed him). I would love to see how much water weight he loses when he does that. Wait a minute – he stands up, so I guess I could just put him on a scale in front of the toilet. So never mind!

    • Hahahahahahahaha. Fantastic!! It’s like the elimination Olympics! I do have to say, a standard scale would not be as exciting a way to measure as the toilet seat scale. It would seem like a let down.

  12. Be afraid…Be VERY afraid! I think the toilet seat scale is the most appalling to me, believe it or not. It’s just beyond wrong. You know, I had a doctor once ask me how much my son got from me when I was breastfeeding – a guess at how many ounces. I looked at him like he was crazy and he was like, “You can’t…feel a difference? Do they feel lighter? You know, like when us guys go to the bathroom and know we’ve just lost a few pounds.” Yah, I was totally mortified by THAT conversation and it STILL is part of my nightmares. He would totally dig the scale, and I bet my hubby would use it for a laugh…and I fear that it may make it to doctor’s offices and hospitals. Let’s just end the insanity there, shall we?

    The others just got an eyeroll. I totally see them popping up in man cave bathrooms everywhere. Just bound to happen. Disgusts me, yes, but what’s a gal to do? If he is that dependent, maybe we should recommend an intervention? *shrugs*

    • They are totally popping up in man cave bathrooms, Julie! You’ve nailed it. That is totally their market!

      Your pediatrician story is KILLING ME!! When I went to the lactation consultant with my son, he was weighed before and after breastfeeding. I was all…huh? But it makes sense…as does the toilet seat scale if you think about it. But please, don’t think about it!!

  13. My husband would totally love the iPhone Commode Caddy! If he ever got one, I’d make him put it in the upstairs bathroom because the he would be in there forever. :-) There are no words for the scale! My son and I loved playing The Legend of Zelda together when he was younger!!

    • My son and husband would never leave the bathroom…EVER…if they had the game system or the iPad caddy. My daughter and I would be out of luck using the neighbor’s bathrooms.

  14. Good job finding another set of insane items. I can see going in the middle of the night and putting my foot in the gaming screen. I’d be out $400 plus whatever the ER cost.

    • Bwahahahaha. SO TRUE!! Even the easiest ER visit will set you back $1000. You have made the best case against this set up yet!

  15. Bathroom gaming system? Seriously? All I can say is I don’t envy the generation of women that has to date the men who actually think this is a good idea. “Hey Honey, why don’t we go out to dinner tonight and then maybe catch that new art exhibit?” “Uh, nah. Think I’d rather sit on the crapper and play video games.” Yeah, buddy, you’re a real prize. Good luck with that.

    • Oh, I am SO with you, Lisa. Women of today have a very different dating landscape than I faced over 20 years ago. Bless.

  16. This is absolutely ridiculous haha…. and I’m sure every man’s dream toilet “situation..” You ladies find the craziest things out there in the pinterest world! Thanks for sharing and always making me crack up! ~Leah~

  17. I need a MacBook commode caddy. I swear I do all my good productive work in the bathroom! In fact, I will bring in a little side-table and plop my laptop onto it while I do my business :)

    • Oh, Catherine! You should get to work on that! maybe a TV tray like thing that can easily be stowed when not in use! Hahahaha.

  18. Now I’m not going to lie…and neither should you ladies…don’t you take your tablet in the bathroom? I mean there is a lot of Bloglovin feed to read! How else am I going to get through that grueling three minutes… of brushing my teeth. Really!

    • Bwhahahahaha. I have never done this even ONCE, Carli! My phone…yes…but only if I was already holding it when the urge hit me. I have also been known to prop my Kindle up and read while I’m drying my hair if it’s a really good book. But I have not taken my computer or iPad in the bathroom. But I’m a “do your business and get out of there” kind of girl when it comes to that. I swear!!

  19. Oh my gosh girls, this could be the most outlandishly nutso pinterest post yet! I couldn’t stop laughing cause whyinthehell would anyone want to be weighed while doing their business??!!! Wow, pinterest! There are no words. This was hilarious! Could you just see the guys “checking in?” Um, yeah–this is John, checking in from stall #8 at Buffalo Wild Wings. As he tweets score updates to his buddy in stall #7. Happy weekend girls!

    • Bwahahahahahahaha. I can’t breathe, I’m laughing so hard. Yes, the possibilities of what we’d see on Foursquare check-ins would be…um…interesting!

    • I think this scenario would be happening all over the country. It’s a good thing this hasn’t reached your average home. It would be chaos.

    • I’m quite sure if my husband and son saw that first one, they’d start trying to rid a similar system in the bathroom right now. GAH!! 😀

  20. You have no idea how frustrated I am that I’m reading this on my phone and the images won’t display! But you had me giggling nonetheless at your dialogue, a true testament to your writing that I could visualize perfectly the gadgets. My 16 year old would never be seen again if he discovered these.

    • Oh, no!! The pictures were…um…interesting!!! Hahahaha. We’d literally only see my 13 year old at meal times if we had any of these!!

    • Exactly. They were egging each other on. That’s the only way the world gets something like a toilet seat scale. I’m sure of it.

    • I am in the same boat. I had to write this and keep it completely hidden from my husband and teen. I just can’t have a bathroom renovation right now.

  21. The first one I would never see my Hubby again…like seriously…my son either for that matter…the others are just like Why WHY? Great post…great laugh…I’m tempted to show my Hubby just to watch him go on a crazy Google search to find one…LOL

  22. What is wrong with people? The restroom is the last place I want to spend time in. Whenever I’m in there, I’m always hurrying to get out of there! And then there are these people, coming up with all kinds of stuff to prolong their time in there!

    • I’m with you, Xae! I have plenty of comfy places to sit in my house. The toilet is not one of them. I’m in and out of there!!

  23. I have to confess, I love all of those ideas. Haha.
    Except maybe the toilet seat one… not sure I’d want to be faced with that every time I sat down!

    • Hahahaha! You go for it, Kate!! (except the toilet seat scale. That’s just harsh. I don’t need to start dreading every time I have to sit down on the toilet)

  24. I seriously think you’re making these up sometimes. No one could really think these are a good idea, could they?

    I’m not even going to comment on the toilet seat scale. Anyone who thinks that’s a good idea doesn’t deserve to talk to me.

    But the games and ipad holder? Seriously? Let’s get past the “How long can I hold it while waiting for him to clear another level?” part. How about the “You can’t wash electronics so let’s take them to the most germ-ridden place in the house and keep them there.”? Can you say, “Ick” and “Ew, gross” enough times to cover this? I can’t.

    Ick.

    • Robin, I don’t have the imagination to think these weird things up. It’s all Pinterest!!

      I think ICK sums up the bathroom electronics experience perfectly!!

  25. This is Super Gross and Not Gonna Happen in my house. If Steeler Fan ever “voluntarily” goes to the mall with me and has to go to the men’s room shortly after we get there, I’m going to be pretty suspicious.

    • That will be the clue to women everywhere that the bathroom gaming system has hit the mainstream, Teresa. That will be our “heads up” for sure.

  26. Hahaha. Hilarious! This actually makes me so glad my husband isn’t into video games or sitting on the throne for extended lengths of time. Although I must admit both of us take our phones in there. And I have been known to play a game or two while uhh, doing my business. Oops. On the plus side, neither one of us spends 30 minutes in there! Stomach issues don’t count though. =)

    • Hahahaha. I’ve been known to take my phone in there too, Kim. You’re not alone!! (Especially during my Candy Crush addiction phase)

  27. My husband always has to go to the bathroom when the baby needs a diaper change. These would be BAD, very bad. OK, I’m a little intrigued by the scale on the toilet seat. After taking a #2 when people say, “I just lost 5 pounds” this might actually be able to tell you how much weight you lost. That’s really gross and inappropriate, but I can’t be the only one who had that thought! LOL

    • Hahahaha. You are not the only one who has ever thought about it, Gracielle! (and all of our husbands disappear to the bathroom when it’s diaper change time…or time for the dishes. You are not alone!!)

    • Aw, Kathy! That is the sweetest comment ever!! Thank you!! (We can’t believe what can be found on Pinterest either!!)

    • On the other hand, think of all of the quiet you’d have at your house if you had them!! With your sons and husbands sequestered in various bathrooms, you could eke out some quality “me” time!

  28. You have me laughing so hard I can’t see straight. I can’t tell you how many times the husband has used the bathroom as an escape IMMEDIATELY after I ask him to do something. Thankfully, I don’t think he would want to have a video game system in the floor.

    • I know!! The funny thing is THEY THINK THEY ARE FOOLING US!! They really do. They have no idea that we are totally on to the way they weasel out of whatever the current chore is. Guys, WE ARE ON TO YOU!!

    • It would be a mixed blessing of sorts, Natalie. On the one hand, I could watch whatever I wanted on the TV without any snide comments…on the other hand, what if *I* need to use the bathroom? I’d be out of luck.

  29. My husband will love the game on the floor thing.
    He already takes 30 minutes or more in the bathroom so imagine with something like this.

    The toilet scale is just a little disturbing…eeeewww!!!
    lol

    • Aren’t men funny with the bathroom. It takes them about 5-10 minutes to shower and shave and be totally ready for the day….but about 30-45 minutes to do their business. It makes NO SENSE!!

    • So…should we take back that toilet seat scale we were planning on gifting to you, Dana? Are you *sure* you’d rather have a boring gift card for your next birthday????

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