Last November I wrote about my number one foe: CAPTCHA. Since that time, the bane of my online existence has become even more prevalent all over the interwebs. I must see at least two of these evil tormentors a day. Do you run into this curse as much as I do? Do they leave you feeling frustrated, defeated, and rocking in the corner, too?  Have you ever been so desperate that you’ve tried the audio button? (Poor thing. I’m so sorry.) After coming up with a record SEVEN–yes SEVEN– CAPTCHA sightings today, it is definitely time for another smack down of this evil scourge on humanity…


Have you ever tried to fill out an online form so you could enter a contest to win a coupon for dog food… or tried to buy tickets to see the local spoken word revival of the Broadway hit CATS…and been stopped cold in the process at some point by a series of incredibly fuzzy letters and numbers that look like they were regurgitated by a fun house mirror?

Then, not only did you have to try to look at these without experiencing vertigo, you were also instructed to replicate them in a tiny box to prove yourself human?

If so, you have grappled with my nemesis: CAPTCHA.

CAPTCHA is a program that was ostensibly created so companies could be sure that their online order forms or registrations were being filled out by real, live human beings and not robots.

I don’t buy that for one second, though. CAPTCHA was obviously created by some angry malcontent sitting in his parents’ basement trying to monetize his attempt at revenge on humanity.

Still don’t believe me? Examine this excerpt from the official CAPTCHA homepage:

CAPTCHA is a program that generates impossible sequences of numbers and letters to make people prove they are human.  CAPTCHA’s ability to frustrate is universal, thus working across all countries and formats. The genius of CAPTCHA is that most don’t even have actual solutions! Robots operate with logic and will move right along.  Actual people are quite stupid and persistent. They will keep trying and trying to prove their humanity long after the computers have cut their losses and moved on to wreak havoc on other non-CAPTCHA protected websites. Click here for our affordable pricing guide!


There is nothing I hate more than encountering a CAPTCHA when I am in a high pressure situation. If you are trying to buy tickets to a hot show, they only allow you to secure them in your check out cart for 4 to 5 minutes before releasing them to the next customer.

Time is of the essence! The last thing I want to see as I’m finishing up my order for front row seats to The Susan Boyle Christmas Experience is a damn CAPTCHA staring me in the face.

It always starts for me, as with so many other things, with denial.


Attempt #1

Lisa: Hey! This looks like an easy one! It’s not even blurry!

Lisa: Okay, no problem….7…6…2…N…C…6…j…5…2

Lisa: Oh, SHOOT. That wasn’t right. Okay, no problem. Let’s see the next one. I’ll get my glasses. That will totally help.


Attempt #2

Lisa: Oh, hell. One of those divided ones. This one is a bit more challenging. That’s okay. I can do it. 2…3…is that an “h” or an “r” with a “j”? hmmm…h…A…C…T…U?

Lisa: DAMN IT!

After two tries I usually hold my face *THIS* close to the computer screen and squint my eyes because that is obviously helpful.


Attempt #3

Lisa: Is there a “1” before that “7”? I just can’t tell!   Okay….1…7….0…2…k…D…g…is that an “o” or a button?…O…I swear that is an upside down “t” but that can’t be right…I…R

Okay, this is the point where it gets serious. You’ve already messed up three attempts. You can literally feel the Susan Boyle Christmas Experience slipping through your fingers.


Attempt #4

Lisa: OHMYGOD…You’ve got to be kidding me.

Because what else can you say when faced with something that’s blurrier than the Vaseline’d lens they used to shoot Joan Crawford in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?”.

When I get one like this (and after I stop screaming), I just skip that CAPTCHA without even guessing and move on to the next one.


Attempt #5

Now, when you are totally desperate and you see something like that on your computer screen, you might think, “This is a good time to click the audio button and just transcribe what the voice tells me.”

Hahahahahaha. Oh, Lawd. If you think that, you’ve obviously never clicked the audio button, my friend. Not only is the CAPTCHA robot voice the stuff of nightmares, it’s also conveniently unintelligible.

CAPTCHA robot voice: Niiiiiiinerfivineineinenine…fiiivevennnvefiiiiivefive Bleepblotwinningdliblahblahpingerererebloop

Lisa: Seriously, what the hell? Am I supposed to put 95…or 99995555 or 99555 or what? How does “bloop” translate to a letter of the alphabet?

But the good news is that you don’t have to worry about it any more. By the time you are on your 5th attempt the tickets have been taken from your cart and given to some other fan of light contemporary adult holiday music. You are left with nothing. (Nothing except the strong desire to throw your laptop across the room.)

It can’t just be me, right? Everyone else can’t be effortlessly zipping through these things when they’re entering the Hidden Valley Ranch Online Sweepstakes or subscribing to the Quiznos Online Monthly Newsletter, can they?

If you’d like to leave a comment or give your secret to decoding the demonic CAPTCHA, do not fear:





  1. I needed that belly laugh more than anything this morning, thank you. This is the most brilliantly hysterical post I have seen in a really long time! Amazing.

  2. CAPTCHA is a scourge.

    I can’t believe I’m still finding it in people’s blog comment sections.

    It makes me all twitchy and crazy. (I know – you are thinking that that isn’t hard to do – but still. Twitchy. Crazy. It is happening. The CAPTCHA causes it.)

  3. Oh, I hate it too! Sadly, I had it on my blog until a few months ago, but I learned my lesson from going through the pain on other blogs. There should be an awareness campaign to tell bloggers they don’t HAVE TO enable this in their comments section!

    • You are so right. There are a lot of good spam filters. I know several people that have something that says “check this box if you’re not a robot” or something to that effect. I can check a box easily! (but please don’t make me grapple with CAPTCHA! *sob*)

  4. I agreed with you then. I agree with you now. CAPTCHA must be abolished. Maybe we should form a club and make people sign a petition or something.

    I hope a lot of bloggers are reading this and removing theirs too 🙂

    • We totally need a petition, Xae. But you know if we ever try to email it to the folks at CAPTCHA we’ll never be able to do it. I’m sure they have a wickedly hard CAPTCHA you have to complete to ever submit any criticism to them.

    • I know! At first I was …CAPTCHA? What is that…then you see it…and then it’s…OH THAT Horrible thing!!! UGH. Hate it.

  5. Omg, totally agreed and seriously hate the CAPTCHA thingy. Seriously find myself cursing at the computer screen after trying to fill these out too many times. So can definitely relate, but thank you also fro the laugh, too this morning. So needed after this past weekend!!

  6. There really isn’t much that takes me away from my peace and love and namaste-ness except for maybe the gender gap and CAPTCHA. It tortures humans – especially those of us who are at “a certain age” and whose reading eyes aren’t up to snuff anymore. And yes, I agree, the man who created it hates people!

    • Even someone as peaceful and full of love as you cannot possibly be immune to the sinister threat of CAPTCHA, Ilene. You are so right! They are even WORSE once you reach “a certain age”. UGH!!!

  7. I LOOOOOVE captcha!! It makes sure the person reeeeeeeally wants to talk to me, because why else would they bang their head against the keyboard again and again (and again) until hitting the right combo of keys
    (Actually I just have no idea how to disable it. Stupid evil captcha)

    • Bwahahahahahaha. There you go!! The real reason to use CAPTCHA is not to make someone prove they’re human, it’s to make them prove they REEEEEALY wan’t to communicate with you…or buy your tickets, etc. Finally a logical use!! 😀

  8. Bleep 999995555… laughing so hard. I hate captcha too. Especially when I am on my phone. Even harder to see and enter. I’m going to start boycotting commenting on blogs that have captcha as well. Oy!

    • Oh, don’t even get me started with CAPTCHA on my tiny phone. I have a horrible chance of ever getting one right on my computer…but I have a ZERO percent chance of getting it right on my phone. It’s just not happening!!

  9. hahaha! Needed that. And I may need that button for my blog. It’s definitely not just you. I have spent too much time thinking I’m aging before my time, or that I need to schedule an eye doctor appointment. Nope, it’s just CAPTCHA. Have gas? It wasn’t the tacos you ate. It’s just CAPTCHA.

    • Bwahahahahaha. I am 100% sure that CAPTCHA is responsible for the economy, too…and global warming.

  10. CAPTCHA is terribly annoying. The other one that tears me up is Diskus. Argh! How many sign on’s can they possibly want? And they don’t tell you your sign on is wrong until you’ve written out your entire comment. Then they delete it all and you have to start over. Makes me furious. Sometimes I just skip that site and don’t comment at all, it’s too infuriating. Have a blessed day! Followed you from SITS.

    • Thanks, Vicki! It’s the WORST when you don’t know a CAPTCHA is coming then…BAM. And by then you’ve already done all the work so you don’t want to give up!! GAH!!

  11. This is the first time I’ve laughed about Captcha – usually I want to punch my laptop. Today I gave up on a blog comment because I just couldn’t get the darn letters and numbers right. Who needs that stress? Thanks for the laugh!

    • Bwahahahaha. I’m so glad I could make you smile about CAPTCHA. It usually only leads to a grimace! 😀 I have come VERY close to punching my computer screen when I see a CAPTCHA. Very, very close.

  12. Curse you, Captcha!! I remember when you first posted this…awesome post, and just as entertaining the second time 🙂 I wonder if some people don’t even realize they have it…when I first started blogging I remember someone leaving a comment elsewhere that they tried to comment but Captcha made it impossible…I didn’t even realize I had the darn thing on and immediately disabled it!

    • I do think that happens, Bev. I think there are some formats where it automatically is there unless you uncheck some box in your settings. Poor folks! Companies know they are doing it 100%, though. They deserve our scorn!

    • I’m so glad it’s not just me. I don’t think I’ve ever, EVER gotten one on the first try. It’s so defeating!!

  13. Captcha is evil! I got rid of it long ago! The only thing I hate more are the interactive captchas where you have to watch an ad for 2 minutes and then type in some line of text (though this is totally legible most of the time) or where you have to play a game with the goofy captcha (“Click on the start”…*clicks start*…”Drag the keys into the lock”…Me: “Seriously!?!?!”…*drags the keys*…”Thank you for playing! Click ‘Submit Comment’.” Me: “Pfft…Thank you for playing…Like I had a choice!” *eye roll, clicks on “submit comment” only to have it fail and then go through the whole darn thing again!*). What’s with that? I would much rather you have to approve comments than have people go through that mess of proving they are human because you know what? Spam always finds a way! In fact, spam will get the captcha done when people cannot! (Yes, I have given up before!) Go figure! Die, Captcha! Die! And your whole family of misfits, too! *evil eye at Captcha*

    • OMG! I’ve come across those with the video, too! They are HORRIBLE. I’ve never seen the game one. That would make me seethe with rage. Now I’m bracing for the inevitable day when one of those CAPTCHA spawn crosses my path. *shudder*

  14. Captcha is the worst!! Haha! Get the glasses then face pressed up close to the screen is me! I usually go with the 3 strikes and you’re out concept. If it’s not right by the third try, I give up.

    • I try getting my face close to the screen, too!! Hahahaha. I don’t know why. It NEVER helps!! Once I’ve tried 3 times I still keep going. By then I am on a mission and I won’t give up. Oh, how I hate them!!

  15. LOL!! CAPTCHA is definitely evil! I would love to know just how much supposed SPAM it blocks! I’ve even been on websites where if you can’t SEE the words they will call them out to you to HEAR and it sounds like someone’s 90 year old grandmother’s voice has been digitized and you still can’t understand it!

    • Only the very, VERY desperate will try the audio button…and they will rue the day they did. It is impossible to decipher. (and it’s creepy) It’s definitely evil.

  16. what flipping post babe…I HATE captcha too…with a passion. I always mess up and often find I have to fill out the forms all over again…grrrr

    • That is the worst part!! There is no frustration like filling out an entire form, getting the CAPTCHA wrong, then having to start over. It makes me seethe just to think about it!! GAH!!!!

  17. I stopped going to blogs that have this I can’t do the repeat thing and I think that’s why so many blogs lack comments no one wants to do the captcha. I reached out to one girl and told her I read her blog but the captcha got on my nerve and I could not comment she said she had no idea it was on there and took it off immediately I am wondering if people just don’t know how to take it off themselves.

    • I think you are totally right! Many people that have it don’t even realize they do. It must come automatically on some blogging platforms because I know some folks don’t purposefully have it. Poor people!! 🙁

  18. OMG!!! I totally agree! We should just tell inmates that as soon as they correctly solve a CAPTCHA, they will be released. They’d probably end up staying there longer than they were sentenced for!

    • That sentence is bound to come out of the mouth of anyone dealing with a CAPTCHA, Britton. There’s no way around it!

  19. So see here is where you unfriend me and call me a freak. Captcha while irritating doesn’t really bother me. I usually get them first try. I started looking at them like cryptogram puzzles, which I love. Once I did that it was easy. *ducks from the books flying at my head*

    • Hahahahahahahaha. No judgement or book throwing here, Southern Angel. There’s always someone in the crowd that spoils the curve! I could try your cryptogram puzzle method, but I think I would do WORSE then because I doubt I could do those either. I am, however, thoroughly jealous you can get them on one try. Are you sure you aren’t at least 1/2 robot or something?

  20. Nothing makes me bounce faster than being shot down by captcha more than 2 times. It makes me want to say F@&k you.. you just made me a crazy lunatic so you don’t deserve my comment, money, unadoring love. I’m outta here.

    • I WISH I could do that, Kristen. If I have to go more than twice it’s like a “thing” by then and I CANNOT QUIT. I must conquer it then no matter how many tears or expletives it takes. Those CAPTCHA writers are sick and twisted individuals, aren’t they?!

  21. I hate those too!
    And what’s worse…a lot of blogs have them where comments are supposed to go – making me not want to leave any comments.

    My advice to blogs with a CAPTCHA – get rid of it, you will lose followers that way! Trust me..i’ve unsubscribed to a lot of blogs because of it.

  22. Oh I hate captcha! I seldom get it right on the first time and it is so frustrating! You think you can see it, but you can’t really. I didn’t need that 10 minutes of my life. A plea to all our blog friends…please PLEASE get rid of it!!!

    • There’s always that ONE letter that could be an “n” or could be an “h”. Is it a “t” or is it a funky “f”? It’s just the worst. BE GONE, CAPTCHA!!

    • Oh, MAN!! Combine a CAPTCHA with AUTOCORRECT (which is, in itself, frustrating and awful) is too much to bear. That would send me right over the edge!!

  23. I detest CAPTCHA. It feels like a crime against humanity every time I’m forced to figure out those pictures and chicken scratches. I will end up not commenting on blogs because of it. CAPTCHA needs to be stopped!

  24. I NEVER knew what that thing was called–but it is so good at making me feel inferior as a literate person. Thatnks for calling them out! And doing it in your per usual hilarious style!

    • Hahahahahaha. GOOD POINT! I’d rather prove I’m human by juggling or reciting my multiplication tables.

  25. Oh, my gosh, I despise CAPTCHA! Thanks for adding a little humor to the evil overlord that wants to keep us from all fun things on the internet.

    • Thanks, Bill. Now don’t mind me, I’ll just be seething in the corner as I try another letter combination in the CAPTCHA I’m currently working on….

  26. I loved this!! I thought I was the only one who hated Captcha!! My sons can’t figure out why I have such a problem with it – in fact, I usually have them translate for me because I get frustrated!

    • My son is the SAME WAY!! If he’s around, he’ll tell me the answer and he’s always right. It must be the young eyes. UNFAIR!!

  27. Oh my gosh! We’re all battling jetlag a little and the boys are asleep in our room. This post had me belly laughing!! I was worried I was going to wake the boys, but when I got to the part about the voice, I laughed so hard that it went into silent laugh mode and I was saved.

    • Bwhahahahahahahahaha. This made ME laugh so loud I scared my dog. It’s good CAPTCHA is making us laugh today, because is usually makes me cry!

    • ha ha waking my husband up too! Just too funny I couldn’t stop laughing, and then i got to the voice part…..aaaah there i go again!

    • I feel sorry for them because I think many people don’t even know they have it on their blogs. Poor things!

    • I think a lot of people have a “three strikes and you’re out” policy, but I can’t stop at 3. By then I am determined to finally beat the evil CAPTCHA and I will just keep going until I do!!

    • That is CAPTCHA’s only purpose, AnnMarie–to make you feel enraged and stupid at the same time. It’s evil!!

  28. Oh yes! I like to think of myself as a smart person and I can’t ever seem to get it right on the first try. That said, I think from now on, I will tell bloggers it will be my last comment unless they remove CAPTCHA from their sites.

  29. ROFL. I’m happy to know its not just me. It seems like they hate me. I can never get them right so after about 2 times of trying I give up. Sorry bloggers who have them, yeah I don’t comment after 2 tries. 🙂

  30. This is so hilarious…as long as it’s not happening to you. I’ve had that same horrible experience trying to purchase tickets to, of all places, the Dora Live show. I was kicked out a couple of times because time expired. I despise captcha. There is only 1 blog that I comment on that still uses captcha…and I read, but I don’t always comment.

    • Trying to get Dora Live tickets is serious business Hope…toddler happiness hangs in the balance…we can only imagine how stressful that must have been! 😉

  31. I.hate.captcha. Though I love your re-worded front page info (yes, I totally looked up the actual homepage *and* clicked on your link). And that audio? Just freaky! Thanks for keeping you site captcha free!

    • HA HA HA!! Finally someone clicked on our actual link…we always hope we can rope someone in but then no one actually does! 😉

  32. The worst CAPTCHA are the ones with those blurry address signs. As a woman of a certain age I need much more than my 200 power reading glasses to see those stupid things. Thanks for making me laugh about this heinous issue rather than resorting to violence against my poor, innocent computer. And thanks for the warning about the audio option. My head would explode.

    • The blurry address signs are THE WORST Mo!! Glad we were able to give a laugh over this VERY frustrating program! 😉

  33. You know, Captcha (even the spelling seems wonky- did I even spell that correctly?) is something that pisses me off but is forgettable enough so that I never talk about it with anyone. Thank you for letting me know it is totally annoying to everyone else. And people still keep that on their blog! AH!

  34. I hate CAPTCHA! I am still in school and the university I attend, uses it every time we have to log on to their web site. That means when it comes time to register with a thousand other people and only a hundred seats, it’s a freaking race to see who lucks out and gets the easiest to read captcha! so frustrating

    • OH MY GOSH, that must be HORRIBLE!! I cannot imagine the stress from that experience over and over again!

  35. Thanks for this – I thought it was just me who had trouble reading the bloody things!

    They DRIVE ME CRAZY and don’t get me started on the voice thingy.

    I think the very robots they’re trying to block must have created them.


  36. CAPTCHA needs to die. Period. When I see bloggers using it I want to reach through the screen and smack them. As a rule I usually will not comment any more if there is a CAPTCHA code glaring at me when I see one on a blog. One time, okay. Second time, not coming back. Sorry.

    Yes, I know spam is pain in the arse but what’s worse: Dealing with spam on your own or making sure your readers don’t come back because of that annoying commenting system?

  37. Yes, yes, yes….kill the captcha….I do almost all of my blog reading from a tablet and it is such a pain. If I see one I will never, ever, ever leave a comment. I just can’t do it…the pain, the agony…nope, never 😉

  38. While anoying all the time, I loathe it most when bloggers use captcha. Really? Who are they afraid is leaving them an unwanted comment? I can pretty much guarantee that none of us bloggers are big enough to have robots trolling out site looking to get the emails of all our followers. If it tkes me more than three times to attempt to get through your captcha, I’m not leaving a comment or coming to your blog again. It’s too much work!

    Thank you for being captcha freea,

    • We pride ourselves on being a CAPTCHA free zone…we promise to keep it that way forever for you Carli! 🙂

  39. It should be called Gotcha. I’m convinced the Captcha people watch all the failed attempts and laugh at us. “Hey Leonard, come watch. We got a confident one. She thinks she actually got it right on the first try. Gotcha. Bwahahahaha.” Fantastic post!!!

  40. Oh CAPTCHA, the bane of my existence. Can you believe I actually had to do a case study on the creators of CAPTCHA for one of my business classes in college? Yep. Hated it then, hate it now.

  41. I loathe captcha with everything in me. Although I will say there are several tied into worthy projects or charities that are beneficial. “reCAPTCHA is a free CAPTCHA service that helps to digitize books, newspapers and old time radio shows.” If they explained that upfront and actually gave us something to work with, we might all be more sympathetic. Then again, maybe not. I tried for 10 minutes the other day to comment on a blog post and was shot down every time. I left. Couldn’t take it.

  42. I hate CAPTCHAs so badly that I will not leave blog comments if the blogger uses them!! I hate to be unsupportive but I feel like it’s such a deterrent to readers wanting to interact with you, the blogger. There are other ways to deal with spam that aren’t so damn annoying!!

  43. One problem I have with the CAPTCHA is its name. Its name even sort of sounds like “Gotcha,” which is what somebody says when they pull a totally annoying trick on somebody else. Every time I guess what the stupid thing says, I have to wait and see if I’ve unlocked the magical key that will allow me to do whatever I’m trying to do, and 9 times out of 10, I haven’t. Gotcha by the Captcha once again. It’s a negative system–the goal isn’t to let people IN. It’s to keep them OUT. Deep, dark hate. Nothin’ but love for this post, however. 🙂

    • Hahahahahaha. You are SO RIGHT, Jessica. Even the NAME is shady! We’ve never stood a chance against it!!

  44. This is the post that made me fall in love with you guys! I’m so happy it was revived! Also, I think of you every time I have to read a CAPTCHA. And you are so right! They are coming back in force. 🙁

    • Aw! Thanks, Amy!!
      Why is CAPTCHA suddenly EVERYWHERE?! It’s so frustrating. In the past month I have seen more of them than ever. GAH!!!

  45. I can’t believe that’s the description on their website. It’s like they hate us! It’s personal. Haha!!

    Loved this! Sadly, I don’t have that much patience and end up clicking away from blogs that have captcha. Sure, I’ll give it a try, but if I get it wrong the first time, my ADD just wants to move on. Can you blame her? no.

    • You can’t blame you at all, Adrienne!! I just keep at them until I solve them or cry. It’s not patience, though. It’s just being excessively stubborn (or crazy)

  46. I love your sense of humor! And I also agree that those CAPTCHA thingies were invented to drive everyone blind and mad. Lately, I have found myself simply not bothering to comment when there a CAPTCHA thingy

    • That is the only reasonable thing to do! You know the inventors of CAPTCHA are just cackling at us and wondering what hoops they can make us jump through next! They are sickos!

  47. I swear! You gals say all the things that we’re thinking! CAPTCHA is the vain of most of our existence and I’ve had nearly the same reaction when confronted with a pesky CAPTCHA.

    You ladies never disappoint with your posts!

  48. Your post got my blood pressure up! I reminded myself I didn’t actually have to solve them, but it didn’t help! I hate captcha. HATE IT!

    • Hahahahahaha. We’d NEVER make you solve a CAPTCHA Erin!! Think happy thoughts until your BP returns back to normal!!

  49. OMG, I am laughing SO hard! You girls are my heroes. Those photos were hilarious! And seriously, is there a polite way, when commenting on a CAPTCHA blog to write, “P.S. Please turn off your CAPTCHA for the love of God! ” Seriously- let’s discuss.

    • We’ve all got to get together and figure this out. There must be a tactful and gentle way to tell them it leaves us rocking in a corner. There just must.

  50. I had tears in my eyes reading this post! I just encountered 4 today, and I left each and everyone. You have a great writing style. I was just reading a post on SITS, and CAPTCHA is a common issue.

    Standing up against this nemesis!

  51. CAPTCHA is the devil! Aaargh! Why do people insist on using it? It’s the easiest way to lose me, no matter how awesome your post may be. We should start a petition to bury CAPTCHA permanently.

    • I wish ever site would turn it off. And that the CAPTCHA creators would feel the sting of the pins in the voodoo dolls I created of them. Is that so much to ask?

    • Hahahahaha. I’m impressed that you are so good at them! How do you do it? Fess up…are you secretly part robot? What’s the secret??!! 😀

  52. You know I love your posts! This one had me rolling!
    It is funny, and yet so true! I HATE captcha! I occasionally stop to comment on a blog with captcha, and inevitably it takes me 2-3 times to get the code right.

    • Getting one in 2-3 times is a TRIUMP! That is a minimum number of tries for me. No wonder I’m so stabby about CAPTCHA, right?!

  53. I absolutely hate CAPTCHA. I did try the robot voice thing once and it scared my kids and I needed to peel my cat off of the ceiling. If a site has CRAPTCHA, I usually just skip it.

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