Pinterest Nightmare #468: 100% Male Chest Hair Fur Coat

Fall is just around the corner.

Oh sure, it’s still warm now, but before you know it we’ll all be drinking Venti Pumpkin Chai Lattes and snuggling in our favorite upcycled sweaters by a fire.

It’s the perfect time to take inventory of your wardrobe to make sure it’s up to snuff before the seasons change. Who wants to don their favorite mid-weight jacket this October only to find that sherbet-hued pea coats are *so* 2012?

It’s reassuring we have Pinterest to keep us current on the fashion front!

Pinterest Nightmare #468: 100% Human Chest Hair Fur Coat

Chest hair coat

As pinned from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

I’m glad they specified that this was made from *male* chest hair. A coat of female chest hair would just be weird, amiright?

I did confirm that the hair in question is human male chest hair. If you’re in the market for a chest hair coat, you have to read the fine print. Nobody wants to pay top dollar for 22% goat hair. You expect and deserve the real McCoy.

While it’s obvious this coat would make the perfect addition to any wardrobe, it’s also practical! It would not only keep you warm, you wouldn’t have to worry about it getting caught in the rain like a suede jacket. Awesome! It’s low maintenance, too. All you need to clean it is a dime size dollop of Head and Shoulders. Think the savings in dry cleaning bills alone!

But this coat is more than just a fashion statement, it can improve the self esteem of bare chested men everywhere. These unfortunate chest baldies will finally have a chance to sport 100% male (human) chest hair! Scroll on up and take a good look at the chest hairless model in the picture. That is the joyous face of a man realizing his lifelong dream.

I do have one concern. Before I shell out the nearly $4000 to hang this baby in my hall closet, I want to be sure that the chest hair is harvested under humane conditions. I couldn’t sleep at night if the designers are keeping men in tiny pens like veal and force feeding them Minoxidil before they shear them like alpacas. It just wouldn’t be right.

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #468: 100% Male Chest Hair Fur Coat — 123 Comments

  1. Ugh! It’s too early to be looking at this. And, seriously…how the hell did they GET this human, male chest hair? Never mind…I do not want to know! Another gem ladies, bravo!

    • I just hope that chest hair farmers are acting ethically, Allie. As to their methods, it’s like making sausage. It’s probably better if we don’t know.

  2. So wrong on so many different levels!! Seriously that thing just scared me so!! But I do love how you find the craziest pins and turn them into something that I just can’t help, but laugh at!! Thanks for that and wishing you both a great weekend now!!

    • Thanks, Janine! It’s been a wonderful weekend!! Thank goodness it’s been warm because our chest hair jacket hasn’t arrived in the mail yet!

  3. How is that even possible? How can they get those tiny hairs into a coat? I am picturing men with extremely long chest hair….like long enough to braid. And seriously, chest hair looks an awful lot like pubic hair….which I am sure they will come up with that next….
    ewewewewewewewew.

    • Don’t give them any ideas, Christie. The pubic hair coat could be the knock off cheaper equivalent to the chest hair coat. Let’s never speak of this again.

    • Hahahahaha. Thanks, Kathy. Credit really goes to all those poor male souls who are now chest hairless and cold so that others could be warm.

  4. I can’t even look at the picture; it creeps me out so bad. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach just thinking of this as a real thing. I think I’ll go play with spiders. It would be less creepy than this. Ew!

    • Bwahahahahaha. We know we have a true Pinterest Nighmare on our hands if playing with spiders is a more calming and less horrific thought. That is high praise indeed!! 😀

  5. I have this vision of a guy going to the spa to get man-scaped. Gets his hairy chest all waxed off then leaves the spa wearing his chest hair fur coat. Now I have to go rinse out my eyes.

  6. There must be a big demand for this type of jacket if it’s $4000. Wonder if there’s a black market where I could buy it for less. I went out last night with jeans, a long-sleeved shirt and a jacket. I could totally where this jacket now in the evenings. Lovely.

    And I’m with you on the ethical treatment part. I mean we have to keep our morals in tact even if it means we can’t wear an amazing piece of fashion.

    • You just get it, Jennifer. We must keep our morals intact even if the fashion is as fantastic as this. It’s hard, but we have to stand strong.

  7. I’m trying to cut back on my calories, and this is the perfect appetite suppressant. Tonight, when I’m thinking about ice cream, I’ll pull up this bad boy again, and BOOM, the urge to eat will vanish.

    • Oh, Natalie! You have fallen victim to autocorrect! I know you typed “greatest” coat EVER and the word was changed. Autocorrect strikes again!

    • Hahahaha. We’ll have to forward it on to Pinterest! It is the true evil culprit and should pay. We haven’t slept through the night since we’ve feasted our eyes on their heinous offerings!!

    • You know, he just might be one of the donors! Maybe that look in his face is pride that his own pelt was used in the coat. It’s possible.

    • It’s a hard call. If you value a sound sleep, I’m not sure it’s wise to read a Pinterest Nightmare late in the day, either.

    • It probably would, Christine. Back hair that is luxurious enough to make a coat is rarer than chest hair. I think you’re on to something here!

  8. They made this to go with the meggings, right? To cancel each other out?

    I must say that I will NEVER be the same after reading this…and I’m not so sure that’s a good thing! *shivers in terror and contemplates using the panic room*

  9. Damn damn damn!! I’m going to have to empty the shop vac out now. At 4k a coat, I will individually superglue irishman’s man fur to a Member’s Only jacket I found at the thrift store.

    • That’s the entrepreneurial spirit, Ducky!! Plus if you combine it with a classic like Members Only you could probably double the price!!

    • That is a lot of chest hair to take in at once setting. It’s best to go easy the rest of the week and insist on shirts around the house.

  10. This is just ewwwww! I would rather tackle Sasquatch than wear this or even come close to it. Wow, Pinterest. I am really starting to appreciate the male pattern baldness in my family. Haha, funny as ever gals! Don’t know how you do it!!!!

    • Bwahahahaha. I don’t think I’d wear it either. As far as I can tell it doesn’t have a zipper or buttons. I’d be pretty cold if I couldn’t close the coat somehow, even though it’s fur.

    • With the coat it’s like the best of both worlds! You could have chest hair for warmth and yet a smooth chested man that you prefer. Perfect!

  11. That is disgusting! I love how the model has the coat open and showing the band of his underwear…like that would distract any woman from the fact that he is wearing other men’s chest hair all over his upper body. EEEEWWWW!

  12. HAHAHA! What would PETA say? No, really. I wonder if animal activists everywhere are shaking their heads.
    Faux fur, people! It’s the answer to everything. If I saw this, I might throw paint on the wearer.

    • I’m not sure if “man” is covered by animal activists or not. But I do think we’d all be behind throwing paint on the wearer of this jacket.

  13. Great Christmas gift idea, girls! Thanks for the tip. Just ordered one for each of our relatives!

    Cough Cough Why YES, we ARE smoking weed over here right now — how could you tell?

  14. I have to admit that even the title of this post was creeping me out. Then to see the picture. Oh, gosh. I don’t know about this. You’re worried about them being kept in pens and I’m thinking something along the lines of Dexter. This is so creepy!

    • Oh, no!! We didn’t even think of it in a “it’s puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again” kind of way. Hopefully it’s just pens.

    • Great question. It’s made of over a million individual strands of chest hair, so I’d say at least five or six humans were needed. (less if they didn’t mind harvesting back hair, too)

  15. Ewwww! I’m getting itchy just reading this. Plus, I have this massive issue with hair. I can’t stand touching hair that isn’t mine. Obviously, I could never be a hairdresser. And I will NEVER own this coat. I’d rather freeze.

  16. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! This just made my weekend. Being a blogger of all things Pinterest, I’ve come across some weird things, but this takes the cake. Following on Pinterest and Twitter!

  17. Just goes to show you that you can find anything online. How did someone come up with the price of $4,000. My, my, my…. I can’t imagine the person that had to put that coat together…..

    • I prefer not to think of that poor person sitting there setting each of those million chest hairs individually. Think of the hand cramp! Maybe that person set the price!

  18. Oh no. I am really at a loss for words about this one. Do they mention the shedding percentage?

    • They don’t, Kim, but for $4000 it is a good question. You’d hate to shed a high percentage in the first season and have bald patches.

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