Fall is just around the corner.
Oh sure, it’s still warm now, but before you know it we’ll all be drinking Venti Pumpkin Chai Lattes and snuggling in our favorite upcycled sweaters by a fire.
It’s the perfect time to take inventory of your wardrobe to make sure it’s up to snuff before the seasons change. Who wants to don their favorite mid-weight jacket this October only to find that sherbet-hued pea coats are *so* 2012?
It’s reassuring we have Pinterest to keep us current on the fashion front!
Pinterest Nightmare #468: 100% Human Chest Hair Fur Coat
I’m glad they specified that this was made from *male* chest hair. A coat of female chest hair would just be weird, amiright?
I did confirm that the hair in question is human male chest hair. If you’re in the market for a chest hair coat, you have to read the fine print. Nobody wants to pay top dollar for 22% goat hair. You expect and deserve the real McCoy.
While it’s obvious this coat would make the perfect addition to any wardrobe, it’s also practical! It would not only keep you warm, you wouldn’t have to worry about it getting caught in the rain like a suede jacket. Awesome! It’s low maintenance, too. All you need to clean it is a dime size dollop of Head and Shoulders. Think the savings in dry cleaning bills alone!
But this coat is more than just a fashion statement, it can improve the self esteem of bare chested men everywhere. These unfortunate chest baldies will finally have a chance to sport 100% male (human) chest hair! Scroll on up and take a good look at the chest hairless model in the picture. That is the joyous face of a man realizing his lifelong dream.
I do have one concern. Before I shell out the nearly $4000 to hang this baby in my hall closet, I want to be sure that the chest hair is harvested under humane conditions. I couldn’t sleep at night if the designers are keeping men in tiny pens like veal and force feeding them Minoxidil before they shear them like alpacas. It just wouldn’t be right.
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.