Would You Rather: Sit Next To A Gum Snapper Or An Ice Cruncher?

For the first time in months, I got my hair colored and cut the other day. Let’s just that the world let out a sigh of relief and gently asked when I might consider waxing my eyebrows. With the gray no longer showing, my resemblance to Bert is even more apparent.

While I was waiting for my hair guy (totally the official term I am sure), there was a woman sitting next to me. Snapping her gum. REALLY loudly.

Obviously, I immediately texted Lisa to complain about it, which led to this conversation:

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Neither one of us enjoys loud noises, specifically those of the eating variety. We both have husbands who crunch ice…you can imagine how much fun family road trips are when our men get a hold of their Big Gulps! Gum is strictly off limits, because it can lead to snapping. We don’t even really enjoy when someone around us has chips. You want to know the perfect snack to eat around The Dose Girls? Pudding.

So, picture this scenario:

You are on a six hour plane flight. You have forgotten headphones and the in-flight movie isn’t even working anyway. Good thing you stopped at the airport kiosk and stocked up on some back issues of In Touch and US Popular Science and Architectural Digest to tide you over, right?

A stranger sits down next to you. You attempt to avoid eye contact, so as to not spark up a conversation that keeps you from spending the next six hours catching up on all the latest news from the Kardashian household or finding out just how *real* the Real Housewives actually are.

The stranger pulls out a piece of Dubble Bubble and goes to town chomping down. You figure that she probably likes to keep her ears from popping, but go back to your magazine. And then the snapping begins. Every few seconds. Just long enough to relax in between and think that she has stopped. But no. She hasn’t. And she doesn’t. The only time she takes a break for the entire six hours is to change out the old piece for a fresh piece of gum…we all know how quickly Dubble Bubble loses it flavor! Closeup of dubble bubble chewing gum against red background.

OR

You are on a six hour flight with no headphones. The stranger sitting next to you is fine and quiet, so you engross yourself in the casting news for Fifty Shades of Grey and the new season of Survivor. All is well until the drink cart rolls up. Your seatmate orders a ginger ale with an extra cup of ice. You figure they are just being proactive, since the airlines give you the whole can of soda nowadays. WRONG. They begin crunching the ice. And rattling the ice. And shaking the cup of ice to make sure they have every.single.possible.sliver.of.ice. with which to grind between their teeth.

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So, which is it? The gum snapper or the ice cruncher? How do you spend your six hour plane ride? Besides rocking in the tiny airplane lavatory like we would be?


Comments

Would You Rather: Sit Next To A Gum Snapper Or An Ice Cruncher? — 117 Comments

  1. Ohhh, this is a tough one! Long flights are bad enough without being stuck next to an inconsiderate seat mate. Think I’d go with the ice cruncher only because the cup of ice will eventually be empty! What if Miss Bubblicious has an entire carry-on full of gum?! Torture!

  2. This is a hard one, but think the gum snapper, because (true story) my mom actually had to share a room with an ice cruncher when she gave birth to my brother in the hospital and will never quite forget that story that she tells so well for the rest of my life!

    • As if having a baby isn’t stressful enough, right??!! She had to share a room with an ice cruncher…OH DEAR GOD!!

  3. I can’t stand eating noises. Especially people who talk as they are shoveling food into their mouths before they are even finished chewing the bite that was already there.

  4. Gum is not permitted in my house. It drives me bat shit crazy because not only is there the gum snapping but usually they chomp with an open mouth making that smacking sounds….ewewew.
    Ice crunching I can deal with and if it gets too annoying I’ll just have my 9 month old get a liiiiittle to close to their tray and snatch the cup and dump it on their lap. Oops! Kids….

  5. Thanks (?) to BF, I’ve become immune to ice crunching. Gum snapping and knuckle cracking still make me feel homicidal though. For everyone’s safety and sanity, I’m going to have to choose sitting next to the ice queen/king.

  6. I could reach over and “accidentally” knock over that cup of ice. LOL I can’t stand gum snappers. I could tolerate ice crunchers. I have a sister that does that. Followed you from SITS. Have a blessed day!

  7. Umm…let’s just agree to never fly together. Because I am certainly guilty of both of these things. Especially the gum snapping. Yeah, that’s me. It’s an annoying habit I got from my mom. Sorry!!

    • We forgive you Heather…and P.S. were you at the hair salon the other day, because that gum snapper said she learned it from her mom, too! 😉

  8. I don’t mind ice crunching –in fact I do it to drive my husband nuts. LOL the gum snapping however has brought me close to going postal on my commute several times!!

  9. Hahahaha i always avoid eye contact on planes too. some people are so chatty! like, they’d never talk to you in the airport, but as soon as they have you trapped against the window and suffering from acute motion sickness, they cant seem to run out of things to say! i dont get it! but as for your Q- ice cruncher- hands down!!

  10. Because I know Thing1 will never read this post or this comment I feel safe in sharing that just this past weekend Thing1 was sitting in the back seat, earbuds in, music blaring and SMACKING THAT DAMN GUM! It was more than driving me nuts. Instead of yelling or even attempting to get his attention or my voice to ring through the Beats that covered his ears, I just slammed on the breaks for no reason. The damnest thing happened….he swallowed his gum.

    • I am not even lying when I tell you that this comment made me almost spit out my water all over my keyboard from laughing so hard!! LOVE IT!! :)

  11. Ummm…..I might be an ice cruncher (and candy cruncher & Gobstopper cruncher) – I drive my husband crazy!!! But I don’t eat any of that stuff on airplanes!!!

  12. Ice. Please just give me the ice. The gum snapper would never make it to our destination. They’d find them dead in the luggage compartment and I’d be just as surprised about it as everyone around while pocketing the new package of gum I’d just found. Seriously. Nasty!

  13. At first I thought ice cruncher because, as many have said, the cup of ice would only last so long. But those darn flight attendants would probably bring unlimited refills and the sound of ice crunching is as bad as grinding teeth! So, as a gum chewer myself (careful not to snap), I’d choose the Double Bubble girl. I once read that Oprah has banned gum in her house ever since a dinner guest took the gum they were chewing and put it on the rim of their plate to save it for after the meal. They were never invited back.

  14. Wow! Way to put us between a rock and a hard place on this one! I think I would have to go with gum being the worst of the two. There’s just something about the sound of snapping gum that’s enough to push even Gandhi to murder. At least with the ice, it will eventually either melt or run out. But gum just goes on, and on, and on, and on…

  15. Ugh! Both are bad. But I believe Sartre’s quote, “Hell is other people” was edited down and originally read, “Hell is other people snapping gum right next to you…. And hogging the armrest.” I’ll take the ice cruncher. You ladies sure do come up with some deadly dilemmas.

  16. Oh I will NEVER forget the gum snapper I had to sit next to at work. She drove me insane! She didn’t just snap her gum either, she sucked on it which made a sound akin to nails on a chalkboard. So, given this horrible scenario I’d have to go with the ice cruncher because sooner or later that ice will melt. A gum snapper can keep at it for HOURS.

    • You are so right Melissa…gum snappers don’t even really care if it loses its flavor or their jaws get sore…they just keep going forever!

    • The ice running out is totally true and sadly, I didn’t really think it through like my awesome Dose Peeps when I came up with this scenario! 😉

  17. Haha! Glad you got to get your hair done! That’s always a great day! But the gum snapping would have to be worse in my book. Ice will eventually melt. The gum gets louder and more frequent. And I would even take the gum snapping instead of waking up on an airplane, only to find the “snapper’s” gum stuck in your hair! Actually happened. I had to hit up the airport convenience store for some vaseline and a comb.

    • OH MY GOD. That is the WORST story ever…and I am pretty also means it needs to be told on your blog!! Complete with your HILARIOUS pictures and captions!

  18. I seriously have no idea. I think I could handle the ice chewing a little better…Maybe. The gum snapping would make me just wanna punch something within a minute, so…Yah… Either way, not so fun, but the ice chewing is just slightly less grating.

    In truth, there is part of me that would probably get into a bubble blowing contest with the gum snapper if I was desperate enough or see who could get that ice gone fast enough…When in Rome, right? 😀

  19. I choose the ice cruncher! It runs out faster than gum and it’s not only the snapping of gum that bothers me. It’s when people chew it noisily with their mouths open. And you just know that a gum snapper is also a cud chewer with their gum. Ick!

  20. I love the line about pudding!!! You girls just get me every time!! In response? Gum snapper. I cannot STAND ice crunching! It’s like nails on a chalkboard. AHHHHHHH!!!!

  21. Gum snapping, definitely. I can’t STAND ice crunching – it’s like nails on chalkboard. Plus there’s the added bonus that with all that cup shuffling, they’ll likely dump it in your lap at some point.

  22. I was going to say gum smacker, but all the other comments have changed my mind. Ice cruncher, please. It has to be better than the three crying babies surrounding me on the last flight I was on. I felt sorry for the moms, the babies, and for me.

  23. OMG!!!! I’m super sensitive to mouth noises like that….People who smack their lips, their gum, make clicking noises, etc, can drive me over the edge. I used to work with this gal who was ALWAYS chewing gum and it amused how she used every muscle in her face to chew, like she always just popped the whole 10-piece pack in her mouth, or maybe she was part horse. I sort of wanted to tell her.

  24. My husband has a major phobia about people smacking their lips and mouths when eating. It doesn’t bother me at all. I would, however, take the ice cruncher of the gum smacker any day of the week. Something about the popping sound of gum…grrrrr!

  25. Ice cruncher. At least when it’s gone, it’s gone.
    Confession: I don’t chew gum often because I don’t really like it and also because I SNAP IT. *hiding head*

  26. I’m with the ice cruncher crowd. It runs out, and the flight attendants these days don’t refill a cup more than once or so even on a six hour flight! Though both of these don’t really bother me all that much. What does get to me is that a couple of my coworkers have a tendency to whistle the Sports Center jingle…and then I get to hear it from my husband’s cell phone when I’m at home. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

  27. Wow. This is a tough one. I think if I had to choose I might prefer the gum snapper. I’ve been known to snap gum every now and then. But I give up once the flavor is gone. The ice cruncher would give me a headache.

    • Total headache…glad to see another gum snapper chiming in…felt like we were running ice cruncher heavy there for a while! 😉

  28. O.M.G. My shoulder would start twitching in rapid succession along with my eye and I would have to call on Jesus, Allah, and Buddha to help me not reach over and strangle anyone who would be so rude as to do either of these disgusting things. I travel all the time and I always make sure to pack my headphones (Bose, no less) because I have a real problem with people and their mouth noises (seriously, I have made family members get up from the table) so this scenario would bring out the evil waaaaaay down deep inside me.

  29. First off, there is a flaw with your scenario. I never travel without headphones. I have a chronic headache and headphones are like medicine for me when things get too noisy. That said, those two sounds don’t actually bother me. What does bother me is tappers. Rhythmic, repetitive noises make me insane. The man who taps his pencil. The girl who clicks her pen. My son who taps everything as if he’s the new drummer for whatever band he’s listening to. The gum snapping and ice chewing has some randomness to it. That I can stand. But if they become rhythmic about it, I might have to look them in the eye and directly state what I want. “I have a bad headache and if you don’t stop making that repetitive noise my head is likely to explode and I promise it will get on you and that will be gross so would you mind stopping?” I think that would do it. Either they’ll acquiesce out of kindness or fear. I don’t care which one as long as my brain doesn’t hurt.

    • Oh Robin, I love this comment so much. I am pretty sure you would have the problem taken care of with your statement! 😉

  30. OMG…I would freak out with either one…then I’d have to start coughing withougt covering my face and snorting up my snots..to get back at them, LOLOLOL

  31. These both suck! I think if I really, really have to choose I’d say the ice guy. I don’t know. This is hard. Maybe I’d just start cracking my knuckles until they stopped.

    • Yeah, I wish I had thought of that when I was writing this so I could have thrown something in about a never-ending supply of ice or something! 😉

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