For the first time in months, I got my hair colored and cut the other day. Let’s just that the world let out a sigh of relief and gently asked when I might consider waxing my eyebrows. With the gray no longer showing, my resemblance to Bert is even more apparent.
While I was waiting for my hair guy (totally the official term I am sure), there was a woman sitting next to me. Snapping her gum. REALLY loudly.
Obviously, I immediately texted Lisa to complain about it, which led to this conversation:
Neither one of us enjoys loud noises, specifically those of the eating variety. We both have husbands who crunch ice…you can imagine how much fun family road trips are when our men get a hold of their Big Gulps! Gum is strictly off limits, because it can lead to snapping. We don’t even really enjoy when someone around us has chips. You want to know the perfect snack to eat around The Dose Girls? Pudding.
So, picture this scenario:
You are on a six hour plane flight. You have forgotten headphones and the in-flight movie isn’t even working anyway. Good thing you stopped at the airport kiosk and stocked up on some back issues of
In Touch and US Popular Science and Architectural Digest to tide you over, right?
A stranger sits down next to you. You attempt to avoid eye contact, so as to not spark up a conversation that keeps you from spending the next six hours catching up on all the latest news from the Kardashian household or finding out just how *real* the Real Housewives actually are.
The stranger pulls out a piece of Dubble Bubble and goes to town chomping down. You figure that she probably likes to keep her ears from popping, but go back to your magazine. And then the snapping begins. Every few seconds. Just long enough to relax in between and think that she has stopped. But no. She hasn’t. And she doesn’t. The only time she takes a break for the entire six hours is to change out the old piece for a fresh piece of gum…we all know how quickly Dubble Bubble loses it flavor!
You are on a six hour flight with no headphones. The stranger sitting next to you is fine and quiet, so you engross yourself in the casting news for Fifty Shades of Grey and the new season of Survivor. All is well until the drink cart rolls up. Your seatmate orders a ginger ale with an extra cup of ice. You figure they are just being proactive, since the airlines give you the whole can of soda nowadays. WRONG. They begin crunching the ice. And rattling the ice. And shaking the cup of ice to make sure they have every.single.possible.sliver.of.ice. with which to grind between their teeth.
So, which is it? The gum snapper or the ice cruncher? How do you spend your six hour plane ride? Besides rocking in the tiny airplane lavatory like we would be?