When I woke up this morning, I had a private Facebook message from my sister-in-law that was clocked in at 4:30 AM (Yes, that was AM). GAH! It seems my adorable nephew is teething, and he’s been up all night…and so has she (obvi).
I really wanted to to be helpful, but what do I know? Sure, I remember what it was like to have an infant and to be so tired that I could fall asleep while standing upright at the Target checkout line (I was a pro. I never even dropped my Us Weekly), but it’s been a long time since I’ve had an infant.
Where could I possibly go to find the latest info and gizmos for babies, so I could really come through for my sleep-deprived sister-in-law? Oh, you know where I went…Pinterest!
As usual, I was not disappointed by the riches Pinterest had to offer! I found an apparatus so incredible, I know every new mom will be snapping it up asap. (Unfortunately, it isn’t for teething. Sorry, Samantha.)
Pinterest Nightmare #532: SnuggleWings
Say hello to SnuggleWings, the first patented straitjacket made just for babies!
But how does it work? Feast your eyes on SnuggleWings in action:
TA DA! Free range of motion is like a thing of the past for this little tyke!
It may seem a bit harsh, but when you consider the behavior of an average baby, it’s actually quite amazing that adults haven’t been putting them in restraints for decades!
Babies can seem perfectly content and then, without any warning whatsoever, they just start screaming. That’s not a civilized way to settle a grievance! Even when they are calm, they rarely speak in complete sentences, but more often just babble incoherently. Does that sound like the communication strategy of someone that has their wits about them? Babies also tend to make goofy faces when you look at them and have a distinct tendency to drool uncontrollably. It’s disconcerting. Oh, and let’s not forget, if you aren’t being careful, they will reach right out and just pull your hair! Their lack of self control is truly terrifying!
See what I mean?! If that isn’t the behavior of a person begging to have their arms strapped down, I don’t know what is!
The parenting pioneers at SnuggleWings have developed the perfect device to make an infant feel cozy while protecting the outside world from its unpredictable outbursts. It’s a win-win! Everyone feels better when they are getting a hug, even if it’s from themselves!
Oh sure, naysayers will claim that babies need to move their arms in order to explore the world and keep their circulation going, but come on! Children need boundaries! Besides, they aren’t using their arms for anything constructive! You are doing everything for them anyway!
I only wish that SnuggleWings came in a larger version suitable for older children. I can think of a time or two it would have been convenient to put my teen in a SnuggleWinging embrace. There’s an untapped market if ever I saw one!
Not convinced yet? Geez, what more do you want? How about the official SnuggleWings infomercial?! That ought to push you over the edge!
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.