It’s come to my attention that my wardrobe needs a little spicing up.
Lucy, who is a devotee of the show What Not to Wear, has encouraged me to incorporate “pops of color” into my daily look. (I didn’t even know I *had* a daily look. Cool.) She informed me that using accessories would be the easiest and quickest way to freshen up my wardrobe. Her verdict–get a statement necklace, a bright purse, and a cute pair of flats and BAM! I’d be on my way.
What kind of person is going to pass up fashion advice from a savvy ten year old, especially one who has memorized the sage words of Stacey and Clinton after studying hundreds of episodes in their back catalog?
Obviously, I turned to Pinterest to peruse the current trends. (and to find out what in the world a “statement necklace” actually was)
When I searched for jewelry, I got a real…ahem…eye full.
Pinterest Nightmare #309a: Contact Lens Eye Jewelry
Yes, it took me a minute to orient myself, too. On the right you are seeing a contact lens to which crystals have been affixed via a thin fishing line. That model isn’t crying! She’s just sporting Contact Lens Jewelry!
Want to up the bling factor of your face? Just pop those babies in, blink a few times, make sure the filament isn’t obstructing a meibomian gland, and TA-DA! You have a real sparkle in your eye (or at least directly under it).
There are a wide variety of colors and styles available so you can pick jewels to hang from your cornea to mach your every mood. Or, if you are a more conservative type, you can opt for a traditional clear crystal that goes with everything. Let your eye style be your guide!
Some overly dramatic ophthalmologists caution that the thread dangling over your eye lid could cause a sty or bleeding. Sheesh. I bet they will tell me next that I shouldn’t share mascara with a friend or use saliva on my contacts if I run out of saline solution. Doctors are such nervous nellies.
Is Contact Lens Jewelry too temporary for you? Do your eyes crave a more permanently bedazzled look? NO PROBLEM!! Pinterest has a veritable cornea-copia of eye jewelry options.
Pinterest Nightmare #309b: Conjunctival Implant Eye Jewelry
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder with this one. I do mean that literally because that silver heart is actually embedded in that lady’s eye ball.
Now, before you start Googling to set up an appointment at LensCrafters to have this done, let me break some bad news. This procedure is currently only available in one eye clinic and it’s located in the Netherlands. (Yes that is the same Netherlands where you can legally purchase hash out of vending machines. Coincidence?). There is also a long waiting list, so you’ll want to call before you book your flight.
The doctor who developed this procedure reports, “there don’t seem to be many long term side-effects so far. Nobody has lost their sight.” It doesn’t get more reassuring than that!
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.