Yesterday during a
girls’ morning out very important blog meeting at Starbucks, we saw a woman with an adorable baby. The baby couldn’t have been more than 5 months old, but she had a perfect little shag hairdo. We’re talking Jennifer Aniston levels of “The Rachel” kind of perfect hairdo. We were captivated.
You see, between the two of us, we’ve experienced all manner of baby tresses. It’s no wonder that Emma and Lucy are BFFs. They were both born with beautiful hair (even if Lucy’s did stick straight up from the back of her head like rooster feathers for several months on end.) But poor Bobby and Abby are a different story. All of the hair around the sides and back of Bobby’s head fell out. This left him with a mass of long hair at the top of his head only. His ‘do looked like a regulation Marines “high and tight” crossed with the lead singer of an emo band. Abby had the opposite problem. She had absolutely no hair on the top of her head, but lots of hair around the sides giving her the distinct look of a 10th century Trappist monk. This was affectionately known as her “the George Costanza” phase.
In the parenting trenches we learned that sometimes you just have to smile and accept that better hair is right around the corner in 3 or 4 (or 15) months.
Or DO you?
“Waiting patiently” is so last century. This is 2013, baby! Everything is available RIGHT NOW if you have Pinterest…including the perfect infant coiffure…
Pinterest Nightmare #488: Baby Bangs
Feast your eyes on the follicular metamorphosis that is possible when you acquaint yourself with Baby Bangs, the most luxurious and natural looking baby wiglet on the market today.
Look at that transformation!! On the left you have a so-called “baby”. Ugh. HIDEOUS! Is it a boy or is it a girl…I mean…is it even human? YIKES! Who knows?! It’s impossible to tell (and frankly hard to look at). But add Baby Bangs and… viola! It’s a girl, and WHEW…she’s finally acceptable looking.
Why wait until those awkward middle school years to let your daughters know that they must conform to society’s exacting standards of beauty when you can get a jump-start in their infancy? Babies have really gotten a pass on looking good for far too long. They don’t watch their figures at all, they frequently traipse around with spit up on their clothing, and they won’t sit still long enough to get a decent clump-free second coat of mascara. Don’t even get me started on their little nails that refuse to hold a passable French manicure. They are a hot mess.
But I think the folks at Baby Bangs are selling themselves short. Why limit these awesome toddler toupees to just hairless babies? Doesn’t every baby deserve their own personal wig wardrobe?
Now this is just a mock up, mind you, but it will show you how transformative monofiber Kanekalon® can be when strapped to a baby’s head. I’ve taken the liberty of using the most popular wigs from the Raquel Welch 2013 Fall Collection to illustrate how infant Lucy would have looked with an upgraded signature look.
And here is infant Lucy all wigged out…
I think the pictures speak for themselves.
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.