This weekend we went to a parenting seminar at our kids’ school. As per the usual protocol, Ashley drove while Lisa rode shotgun. As Lisa began deejaying tunes for the 7 minute ride, she hit upon a true classic– “It’s a Miracle” by Barry Manilow. Ashley immediately insisted that Neil Diamond get equal time with a little “Song Sung Blue”. It took us back to this post we ran last year. While The Dose Girls agree on many things, this is one topic on which we just cannot see eye to eye. Maybe you can settle this argument for us once and for all…
There is nothing we look forward to at the end of a long week more than the chance to catch up and relax. Little did we know that *this* conversation was going to lead to an epic battle not seen since the time Krystle Carrington toppled Alexis Carrington-Colby into the pond on Dynasty.
It all started innocently enough as we were headed to Starbucks. Ashley was driving (of course) and as passenger, Lisa was in charge of selecting the tunes. It went something like this:
Lisa: Oh, man. This is my jam. I love me some Barry Manilow. Would you rather hear some Looks Like We Made It or I Write the Songs next?
Ashley: Gee, no Copacabana today? [She totally said this with a tone. -Lisa] Let’s try to at least attempt to be cool and go for some Love on the Rocks.
Lisa: Barry Manilow didn’t sing Love on the Rocks. What’s wrong with you?
Ashley: I’ve seen Neil Diamond 8 times in concert. I know exactly who sings Love on the Rocks and every other classic from The Jazz Singer.
Lisa: I’ve seen Neil Diamond in concert, too. He’s great. But you can’t seriously be implying that he is cooler than one Mr. Barry Manilow. I haven’t even played Mandy yet.
Ashley: I’ve seen Barry Manilow in concert, too. But let’s be real. You cannot honestly tell me Barry is cooler than Neil. They play Neil Diamond at Fenway Park for God’s sake.
Lisa: Yes. I am honestly saying exactly that. It says so right here on my Fanilow International Fan Club membership card. Take it back.
Ashley: No. I won’t take it back.
Lisa: Listen, Barry played the piano and sang in bath houses with Bette Midler. It doesn’t get any cooler than that. He is a LEGEND.
Ashley: Two words—Barbra Streisand. I win.
Lisa: I’ll take your Barbra Streisand and raise you a Donna Summer and Dionne Warwick. Oh, and he wrote The Bandstand Boogie for Dick Clark.
Ashley: But did he write America? Make our beds and we say our grace. Freedom’s light burning warm…FREEDOM’S LIGHT BURNING WARMMMMMM!!!!
Lisa: If I stipulate that America is a good song will you please stop singing? It soars, okay. It’s better than the Lee Greenwood song they foist upon us every 4th of July. But did it make 8 year-old Lisa beg for piano lessons like the Barry classic Could it Be Magic did? No. It did not.
Ashley: Is that the one that starts out with a symphony and melds into Barry playing the song? Yeah, that’s a good one. But 7 year-old Ashley was far more inspired to turn on my Heartlight like Neil advised.
Lisa: Look, I have plenty of Neil Diamond on my iPod. You know I like him. It’s just Barry…he really gets it…you know? He speaks to me. Did you know that you can even get a Barry Manilow Visa card if you are a fan club member?
Ashley: I wonder what the rewards are that come with that! Do they fly you to Vegas?
Lisa: OMG…now I *have* to get one.
Ashley: Seem like a *real* Fanilow would have one already. But okay.
Lisa: You know…I think he’s actually touring the US right now. In fact I think he’s going to be near Charlotte right around my birthday. Maybe we should go.
Ashley: Of COURSE we should. We saw Neil Diamond in concert together, we’ve GOT to see Barry together, too.
Lisa: Yes! You know… there’s room enough in this car for more than one dreamy singer/songwriter who appeals to all generations.
Ashley: Agreed. Now hit me with some September Morn.
Okay, so it ended a bit more friendly than Krystle and Alexis going head over heels into the water, but it was tense for a minute there.
So tell us…are you a Fanilow or a Super Diamond? Do you crank up the radio when you hear “Forever in Blue Jeans” or is it “Can’t Smile Without You” that puts pep in your step? [I’ve totally got this one in the bag. -Lisa] [Dream on. -Ashley]