Just Call Me Tony Danza

I don’t know how it works at your house, but at mine, the kids will tell you I’m the boss.

Yes, my husband Robert and I function as a partnership. We are a duo. We are a team.

But we all know who is running the show.

When my kids want an extra piece of Halloween candy, or to go to the movies with a friend, or to put off cleaning their rooms for another day, everyone knows you ask me. Oh, you *could* ask dad, but we all know what he is going to say.

All together now…

Go Ask Your MOther

Exactly.

Cue to last Friday night.

I was upstairs doing laundry and Lucy, in a fit of crabby preteen realness, was in the den trying to boss everyone around. As bedtime approached, she marched upstairs to make an appeal to me to stay up an extra 30 minutes to watch a little What Not to Wear.

Being no fool, she not only invited me to watch with her since we “hadn’t had a lot of time together lately” [Note–we’ve been together practically non-stop], she even offered to fold a few washcloths. She knows her audience. I had to admit she made a compelling case. As I was smiling and nodding and obviously about to render my verdict in her favor, my husband walked in. He reminded me that she had been up late the night before trick-or-treating and her personality was definitely suffering as a result.

They both looked at me with anticipation. How would I rule? I mulled it over for a few seconds and then, with Solomon like wisdom, I rendered my verdict.

“Sorry, honey. You need to get to bed on time tonight. You do seem a little bit tired. We’ll watch Stacy and Clinton together tomorrow.”

She knew she had been *this* close to an extra 30 minutes, and it had slipped through her fingers at the last minute. We said our good-nights, and Lucy stomped into her room, brushed her teeth, and went to sleep.

Or so we thought.

Robert had stayed in the laundry room to help finish up the laundry. As we were talking and folding sheets, a note came gliding under the door.

Thanks a lot Dad

You better believe Robert slept with one eye open that night.

 


Comments

Just Call Me Tony Danza — 105 Comments

  1. BaHaHaHa!!!! This is absolutely hysterical! I have absolutely nothing else to say but “now, that’s funny, right there.” (which redneck comedian said that- eh, doesn’t matter… I need coffee)

    • I live in North Carolina…and I lived in Tennessee before that. If I can’t recognize a Larry the Cable Guy reference, I should hang my head in shame, Amber! πŸ˜€

      • hey now, you know, I’m in Greensboro, NC right? I grew up in here until middle school when my Daddy went into the Methodist ministry & moved us down to Level Cross, two houses from Petty Enterprises… so, now, I’m very embarassed that I forgot daggum Larry the Cable Guy… golly… dear lord baby Jesus, I need coffee… NOW an IV preferably…

        • Hahahahaha! I didn’t know you actually forgot, I thought you were quizzing me!! I had already had a few sips of my coffee so I was ready! (I always prefer my caffeine intake through IV…cuts out the middle man) πŸ˜€

          • BaHaHaHa!! DUDE- too early for quizzes… GAH!! Hubs made coffee (home from work to farm today…) & drank it ALL!!! I think I will treat myself to Starbucks, hmmm! BTW- this post is absolutely hilarious, daddy’s girls- she was probably entirely disappointed that he did not say she should stay up… LOL!!!

    • And now that she has an iPod Touch, she also emails/messages me things like this, too. (My husband doesn’t, so he gets messages on actual paper). I have a whole email file of things like this she’s sent. It’s hysterical!!

    • She’s a daddy’s girl so I think his betrayal was especially surprising to her—LETTER WRITING worthy for sure. Et tu, Daddy? Et tu? πŸ˜€

  2. Ahhhh the dreaded, floating note. I have a drawer of these babies to look back on and laugh. Usually mine come in the form of begging and pleading to come out of their room and are shaped in the form of an airplane. You know.. to fly better down the stairs…

    • Hahahahahahaha. Ours are usually of this ilk–designed to show her disapproval and also make us feel guilty we were so wrong-headed in our parenting. (Although we did get one from Lucy recently apologizing for being crabby all day. That was a nice change of pace.)

  3. Totally the boss in our house, but this had me smiling, because I would so love for my husband to take the fall and be the bad guy once in awhile. Definitely put a smile on my face and then some!! :)

    • OMG…I’m SO GLAD YOU NOTICED THAT!! That was the very best part!! It’s ALWAYS, ALWAYS me that takes the heat…always. This was one of the first times it went down this way. Woot! I was cackling. My husband was all “WHAT?”. He’s not used to taking the fall! Hahahahahaha.

  4. Ooh, I remember slipping those notes under my parents’ doors (and the apology ones). Haha, I like the little emoticon, definitely gets the point across πŸ˜‰

    • There’s always one disgruntled letter writer in every family. Lucy fulfills that role in ours for sure!! πŸ˜€

  5. I would like to send my early condolences to you because as she hits the hormonal phase you will want to ship her off to boarding school and then move and change your address. Mine is STILL like that in her 20’s! Love the note though; it shows she is still sweet and hasn’t gone to the dark side of teenager yet.

    • Hahahahaha. She hasn’t hit the dark side…yet. I have my fingers crossed she’ll just stay sweet and skip that hormonal teen phase. Totally possible, right? πŸ˜€

  6. My daughter writes me notes All. The. Time! She will draw faces with tears and an arrow “thats me, crying” in case I didn’t know. She stole all of my husbands note cards from work and keeps them in her room for writing, I’ve received a bunch. Usually on my pillow though so hours could go by and I’d be getting a fun bedtime reminder of how horrible I’ve made her feel. It’s fantastic!

    • Omg…I love that SO MUCH–pointing out the tears in the drawing–oh, it’s just fantastic!! Lucy will usually sign emails to me with things like “Your sad, sad daughter, Lucy”. We mom’s really are the WORST! πŸ˜€

  7. Oh I loathe the go ask your mom. Loathe it. However, my kids would never be wise enough for the note under the door. They much prefer to mumble in their rooms about how unfair we are. I think girls just have more rational thinking in that area. We are slick like that, plot and think and plan.. just enough to keep the male population a wee bit on edge. This is so funny and a stark reminder that we girls are not always sweetness and light, you don’t want to cross the dark side..

    • Oh, boy…girls are NOT always sweetness and light!! No ma’am!! Hahahahaha. Come to think of it, my teenage son is a mumbler in his room, too. Lucy prefers the more direct approach. Like anyone with two X chromosomes, she wants her feelings known!!

  8. OMG! You said she’s pre-teen? I’m in big trouble. My 6 yo slides notes like that under our door all the time when she doesn’t get her way.
    This was hilarious. Glad to know we’re not alone.

    • If you are already getting the notes at 6, you are in for a long haul, Hope!! Hahahahaha. The good news is, they frequently make you laugh hysterically. The bad news is…sleep with one eye open! πŸ˜€

    • Thanks, Bill. When we saw that letter we laughed and laughed. Sometimes parenting is pretty funny…sometimes it makes you sit in the corner rocking. You just never know.

  9. That is too funny! My daughter does the same things….either when she is mad, or when I am on the phone and she just HAS to interrupt….I get a note, and the funny thing is…she will put yes or no boxes for me to check off and hand me a pen. She is relentless!

    • Oh!! The old “check the box”!! She is relentless!! She will not be ignored!! Lucy hasn’t given me any of those yet, but I know she will think of it one day!!

    • I loved the frowny face, too. I didn’t know she knew how to make the eyebrows look angry–except she’s seen my angry face a time or two thousand–so there you go.

  10. Huge, huge wakeup call for me. I should have kept those multiple notes left on my pillow at bedtime. And no I’m not referring to blissful love notes. More along the line of your Lucy’s. Silly me. Ah well, I delight in reliving my life through yours. Thank you!

    • Aw, yes!! Luckily for me, the bulk of her unhappy communication has been emailed to me. I have an entire folder dedicated to her disgruntled notes to me! Technology for the win!

    • Yes!! And the least little thing can send them right over the edge into despair. “What…I can’t have an extra cookie? I’m getting out my notebook paper”

  11. Wowzers! I hope that day never comes here!

    Ironically, though I make a majority of the decisions when hubby is gone, when he gets home or if it is a big decision, he gets the say. If we disagree, I defer to him. I am old-fashioned in my belief that the father is the head of the house, and I let him act as such, even when he wants to say, “Go ask your mother.” If he does happen to say that, then I say, “Well, if Dad doesn’t mind, it’s fine with me,” unless it is something about the extra candy and I already know they’ve had 10 pieces. LOL :)

  12. That is HILARIOUS, I love it! I remember I used to slip notes under the door to my parents too. When I felt it was really important I would make screeching ‘fax’ machine sounds while I fed it under the door :)

    • OMG… you did fax noises, too!! That is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard!! I just love that. I bet it made your parents giggle! πŸ˜€

  13. Oh no. Poor Daddy. But the mad face on that note is a classic!

    I wonder why kids (girls especially, I think) love to express how they feel in notes? I remember writing all kinds of letters to my parents. You know how I broke the news about the Santa Claus thing? I wrote a note. My mom still has it. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. I’m pretty sure I ended it with, “PS- I know about the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny, too.”

    • It’s so true! My son hasn’t ever done a note like this, but Lucy–all the time!! I’m so glad that your mom still has that note. That is totally priceless–especially your PS!! Hahahaha πŸ˜€

  14. FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! I needed a laugh, and please thank Lucy for it!! i especially love that she slid it under the door, no wait- I especially love her mad face!! NO WAIT- I totally get all of this post and I could see Cass doing the VERY SAME THING! That’s what I especially love. πŸ˜‰

    • Hahahahahahahaha. Little girls can be so funny, can’t they! We are so lucky to have them! (and their brothers, too, of course!)

    • He totally won’t, Jennifer! It completely psyched him out that he was the “bad guy”. He’s never blamed for anything by the kids. I’m always the heavy. Not this time!! Hahahahahahaha! :)

  15. HAHAHA omg lucy is a riot, shes undoubtably the coolest preteen i know. granted i know exactly 0 preteens but if i did, lucy would still be on top of the cool list. not even a question.

    • The one thing she has going for her is that her mom is old and forgetful. It honestly didn’t cross my mind that she’d been up late the night before! Bobby was SO much more unlucky because I was younger and fresher when he was 10. The second kid gets the benefit of old age and extreme tiredness.

    • That’s actually sloppy for her! She normally has very nice handwriting (and she is always chastising me for my own scratchy writing)–but she was angry and writing fast here. She didn’t even take the time to do her standard cursive curly “L” (like Laverne in “Laverne and Shirley”)!!

    • We did, Kathy!! We were both cracking up…and then my husband went in to talk to her. He couldn’t stand that she was so mad at him!! He hates being the heavy!! See why she’s a daddy’s girl?! Luckily, I have no problem being the mean one!! Someone’s got to do it!! πŸ˜€

    • I think it is a very, very good thing that toddlers can’t express their displeasure via the written word. If they could add that to their repertoire, we’d all be in a world of hurt!! πŸ˜€

    • They are absolutely the best, Dana! I have a whole stack from Lucy (and an email folder full of electronic complaints). I will save them forever! (unlike the hideous art projects that “accidentally” get lost) πŸ˜‰

  16. The angry face is fierce! It is pretty hilarious (and kind of telling) that her anger was not with you for your ruling but directed toward your poor husband for his statement of fact. I trust you are going to keep that note and share it with Lucy one day when she has kids of her own. :-)

    • I had a hysterical laughing fit because her anger wasn’t aimed at me. I am usually the heavy who is blamed for everything. Lucy is a total daddy’s girl. I think she felt betrayed by his two cents. Bwahahahahaha. I, however, relished being the “nice one” for a change!! Woot!! πŸ˜€

    • She’s going places alright…usually right to her room to “think about your actions, young lady” πŸ˜€

    • Exactly!! It was such a beautiful thing–and I didn’t even have to take the heat even though I was the one that made the decision. SCORE!! That never happens!! Mom-1 Dad- 1,323,854

    • Hahahahaha!! Chocolate and wine? Um…I want to officially spend my evenings at your house, Melissa!! Sign me up!!

  17. So funny!!!
    Sometimes I make (cause I’m the boss!!) Chris be the one to tell the boys the answer when it is something they don’t want to hear – I get tired of being the bad guy!

    • Oh, that’s SO sneaky, Kim…I ADORE IT!! I might try that around here! It is so annoying to always have to be the heavy!!

  18. Hahahaha that’s hysterical! πŸ˜€ I’m always the bad guy at home with my little boy but he have his own ‘defender’ aka grandma πŸ˜€

    • Oh, grandma’s will ALWAYS sell a parent down the river. Grandma’s will never be the bad guy—it’s against the grandma credo!! I feel for you, Maureen!! πŸ˜€

    • I need to get my husband to deliver the bad new more, Miranda. That’s genius! I don’t know if he can handle getting many more disgruntled notes, though. It’s hard on him to be the bad guy! He might crumble under the pressure! hahahahahahahahaha πŸ˜€

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  20. LOL I love this!! so funny! DON’T mess with Lucy!! That angry face showed she meant business!! I am absolutely the good guy in our household, and the boys run to me and complain when their dad is being a meanie (which is ALL the time btw)

    • Oh, that is my dream scenario, Nellie!! I want to have a week–wait, what am I talking about–a DAY where I am the good guy! It will never happen!! You’ve got a good thing going on!!

  21. Your daughter sounds like a real hoot. LOL Aren’t the preteen moods lovely. My son has a meltdown after school, once I’ve sopped up the mess of tears and tantrums and left traumatized, he’s off to the computer. When his dad comes home and asks how his day went, he replies “oh fine”. OH FINE, REALLY, that’s not what I got 3 hours ago. (pulling hair< gritting teeth). Great article, you both always raise my mood. :)

    • Aw thanks, Jill! That sweet comment made my day!!

      It’s funny how completely dramatic preteens can be…but then they are nonchalant about it and “oh, fine”. GAH!! Happens every time!! πŸ˜€

    • I am the stickler, too, Deirdre! There has to be one in every house—or the children would be wacky from lack of REM sleep!

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