Pinterest Nightmare #132: The Pet High Chair

It’s almost go-time for Thanksgiving.

Prep mode is well underway. Recipes have been revamped and perfected, shopping lists triple checked, table linens spot checked for stains, and the number of the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line has been programmed into speed dial. It’s all coming together!

The final touch of any Thanksgiving Day planning is finalizing the seating chart for the big event. Getting this step right is crucial in determining the success of the entire day. You know you can’t sit Uncle Fred next to Cousin Arthur after “The Great Pumpkin Pie Incident” of 2007. You’ve also got to decide…is it time to move Dakota up from the kiddie table or will he scandalize Memaw by Instagraming selfies during the meal? Will placing two people between Candace and Ned be enough to keep them from arguing about Obamacare?

It’s so nerve-wracking it almost makes you consider letting Phyllis host next year. (Okay, not really. She puts oysters in her stuffing. Ew.)

The only members of the extended family that are low maintenance are the pets! Your cats will perch on the back of the couch eyeing everyone with contempt, and your dogs will lovingly drool at your feet snarfing down any crumbs that fall their way. At least you don’t have to worry about them!

Or do you? Thanks to Pinterest, you may need to revise your master plan for guest placement one more time because guess who’s coming to dinner…

Pinterest Nightmare #132: The Pet High Chair

The Pet High Chair

as pinned from hammacher.com

Fee Fee never felt so much a part of the family as when she was strapped into position at the head of the table and given her own parfait dish of mashed potatoes and gravy. The smile on her face says it all!

According to the Hammacher Schlemmer website, The Pet High Chair not only keeps your furbaby from having to beg at your feet for food like a peasant, but it also “assuages pet separation anxiety and promotes more refined behavior”. Finally I’ve found something to help cut down on Puddles’ therapy bills. What a relief!

I have to admit, I’ve always been a little embarrassed that my mixed breed didn’t have better table manners. Now we can begin working on the fundamentals of etiquette like putting her napkin in her lap and identifying the shrimp fork.

And really, why should high chairs be the sole domain of human babies anyway? What makes *them* so special? Sure, they are carrying on your DNA for all posterity, but can they catch a Frisbee or find illegal narcotics in the customs line at the airport? Nosiree! Pets have earned their place at the table! They aren’t relying on nepotism!

I do have a few concerns. It could be really difficult for Fluffy to pass the green bean casserole around the table without thumbs. Also, her very presence would render a doggie bag at the end of the meal obsolete. But these are small issues compared to the happiness everyone will feel as they give thanks sitting eye to eye across the table from your bichon frise.

I can already imagine the look on my mother-in-law’s face as I strap her granddog into a Pet High Chair between Bobby and Lucy at the table this Thanksgiving…

Dose of Thanksgiving

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

 

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #132: The Pet High Chair — 122 Comments

    • Of course you do, Alexa!! They want to prove to their pets that they really are a part of the family! What better way to do that than giving them the seat position of honor at the head of the table?!

  1. Hilarious!!!! The picture at the end is *the best*!!! If I can fit into that doggie seat, can I have Thanksgiving dinner with y’all? See, I’m already learning how to fit in!

    • You’re a runner so you’re little and fit. I bet you would totally fit in The Pet High Chair. But I’ll even squeeze you into the adult table with a real seat and everything, Allie! Consider this an open invitation! :)

  2. Okay, I love my dog, but there is no way she’s getting a spot at the dinner table. However, I know several people who may actually squeal with delight over this crazy nonsense.

    It’s always interesting to see these posts. I can’t believe you find things like this.

    • You know at least one who squealed with delight…ME!! This has made my Thanksgiving complete!! Dogs are people, too, Crystal! 😀 –Lisa

    • So, you are hoping that no rottweilers are seated next to you at the Thanksgiving table this year? :( Sure, they may eat more turkey, but they are more lively at conversation than Uncle Herb.

    • They say it’s just for dogs 10 pounds or smaller…but my dog is 60 pounds and I’m POSITIVE I can jam her in there. She can do it!!

  3. ROTFL!! Speaking of floors that’s where that dog should be! WOW! And that photoshopped pic of the pooch at the Thanksgiving table is hilarious. I doubt any dog would sit still in that contraption with that much food being passed around. Dinner would end with the turkey on the FLOOR and the dog jumping down to devour it. Sheesh!

    • But that’s the beauty of The Pet High Chair, Tracie! It helps your dog (or cat) to learn proper table manners!! I bet it wouldn’t take more than a time or twenty for a dog to catch on to the finer points of etiquette!

  4. Oh, I love dogs, but I just don’t see how this would work. A little twist and a couple of paws up and voila! – doggy on the table and bye-bye turkey. :)

    • Hum….I had an Uncle Cosmo that would do practically the same thing and we always let him sit with us ! (although one year he was relegated to the kiddie table, but still)

    • Not a dog fan? NO PROBLEM!! You could certainly put a cat or even a tall-ish lizard in the Pet High Chair so THEY could enjoy dinner with the family! Problem solved!

    • Thanks, Bill! If Mr. Rockwell were painting the picture today, I know he would have wanted Fee Fee to have a place at the table.

  5. Fine, I’ll eat with a dog at the table.

    But I refuse to sniff his butt as a greeting when he gets there.

  6. I mean pets want to sit at the table too this is a great idea…..not. Will they knock something down trying to get to it….see I had to deal with that with kids I will not do it with a dog no ma’am lol

    • I hear you, Kita. I think my dog might be less messy than my teeny. I’d probably be better of making him eat on the at let my dog have a crack at her own spot at the table if I’m worried about crumbs and stains.

    • I agree! I want no blurred lines…heck, no lines at all! Pets are totally part of the family so they shouldn’t have to eat on the FLOOR!! That just seems unsanitary!

  7. No. Get it out of here…NO!
    My mom would cringe if i ever told her my pet would sit with us.
    And I’m sure lots of people ordered that from Hammacher…they have the weirdest things in that catalog. They used to be one of my accounts when I worked for a book publishing company. Even the buyer was a little strange.

    xoxo,
    KG

    • ooooh!! I love inside scoop more than anything else on the planet (except reality TV). After seeing the plethora of unusual goodies they offer, it doesn’t surprise me one iota that even the buyer was strange. I’m glad to have it confirmed, though!! 😀

    • Oh, you poor thing! You must just be nervous that your Pet High Chair won’t get to your house in time for Thanksgiving! (I hope you used rush shipping!)

  8. This would require an impossible degree of self control on the part of FeeFee don’t you think? Rather than good puppy manners, I can see a landscape of Thanksgiving dinner carnage like that caused when the Bumpus’s dogs destroyed Christmas dinner in The Christmas Story.

    • Any time…and I do mean ANY TIME…a Christmas Story reference can be worked into this blog it is a banner day!! Hahahahahahahaha! You win the internet today, Mo!! 😀

  9. Bahahaha! That picture with the dog sitting with the family, love it! Our dog weighs 135 lbs and drools (an English Mastiff.) There is NO WAY she is sitting at the Thanksgiving table!

    • Hmmmm….135 pounds is a wee bit over the weight limit for the Pet High Chair. I think it’s best to put your dog in a regular dining chair and have some other smaller guest use the Pet High Chair. Whew! I KNEW there would be a solution!!

  10. Really funny! I never really wanted to join PETA until now. Great job on the Rockwell painting, it is a big improvement on the original!

    • Thanks, John! You know the Pet High Chair would be PETA approved…as long as you were serving Tofurkey during the festivities.

  11. Ha! So funny story – my hubs’ younger brother and his wife have begun hosting our family Thanksgiving dinner at their house. (Think young, no kids, plenty of time and $ to decorate, etc.) They have 3 Chihuahuas that my husband HATES. They have large framed pictures of the dogs not he wall in their bedroom (that otherwise looks like it came from a magazine). I can totally imagine them having these for their little “kids” and my husband completely blowing a gasket about it!! :-)

  12. Thankfully I did not have a sip of coffee in my mouth as I viewed your amendment to the Rockwell pic. So so so funny. My screen was spared yet another spew. I really should keep my Norwex cloth handy for cleanups.
    Question for you. Do you think the Hammacher Schlemmer high chair would be suitable for our rabbit? I could google them and ask but really – would they answer honestly? Bonanza has one troubling habit as a rabbit. She uses her teeth to grasp the food bowl to pull it closer. Each and every time. No matter how close I place it. Of course, I could put her timothy hay rabbit pellets right on the table couldn’t I? Hmmm. What do you think?

    • I would not trust Hammacher Schlemmer as far as I could throw them…BUT…I am 100% sure The Pet High Chair would be PERFECT for your rabbit. In fact, she would make the most adorable table guest in the history of Thanksgiving. (and the story about her toothing her bowl closer no matter how close you put it…swoon!! ADORBS!) I’d just be sure to not use the fine china for her pellets so it wouldn’t get chipped during the toothing process.

  13. You and Rockwell? Perfection.
    Um. I don’t even know what to say. We only have giant, gallumphing dogs in my family. Can we get that in a bigger size? I think my in-laws would really enjoy us having a special seat for their Golden.

    • My dog is much bigger than Fee Fee, too. I think we need to petition them to make a Pet High Chair that can withstand the heft of a 75-100 pound dog (at least). It’s just not fair!! (besides, big dogs eat more than small dogs so they’d get more table time!)

    • What a great idea!! We can get the pet lovers a framed copy of the updated Rockwell as well as a few Pet High Chairs! My Christmas shopping is starting to come together!

    • If clicking on the pages of Hammacher Schlemmer has taught me anything, Viki, it’s that they have absolutely no shame whatsoever.

    • Mine, too!! We should set up a doggy luncheon date. We might have to rig up a Pet High Chair to make it husky size, but I think we have the ingenuity to pull it off, Jennifer!

    • So true, Nicole! The least we can to do decrease their pain is strap them on to the Thanksgiving table and let them sublimate their sad feelings at being thumbless by gorging on Turkey and sweet potatoes.

  14. Just… Never. Reading this is almost causing me hives of anxiety just thinking about allowing my dog at the table. I don’t even allow my dog to make eye contact with me while I am eating, or let her in the kitchen, or eat any people food EVER. Das ist verboten!!!
    So this would be just painful for me to see any other dog doing it!

    • You are very strong, but wise. If you look directly at them, their sad puppy eyes get you every time. Before you know it, your grocery bills double because you have to figure in their portion of meatloaf when you write your shopping list.

  15. Yeah umm NOT.. my kids already scarf through meals like unfed animals thanks. I have never liked a dog to beg at the table and won’t put up with it. My late father however had a cocker spaniel who had her own place at the table when company was not there. Her own plate the whole thing. Again ummm no..

    • YES! That photo shoot required a dog wrangler, a food stylist, and hair and makeup (that dog’s mane is just too perfect to be natural) I think a cat in the Pet High Chair would be fantastic. The cat would LOVE it!

  16. I wonder if they make this in an extra large size, my dogs are all much bigger and why should *they* be excluded from joining us at the table?? I would love to be able to look over and see my 80lb dog drooling all over the tablecloth waiting for his plate…heh, you guys find the best stuff!

    • I wish they DID make it in a larger size! Our big furbabies deserve a seat at the table, too! Yes they shed and drool, but so does Cousin Barb when she’s had too much red wine and nobody is denying her access to the table!!

  17. Oh my, that’s just plain mean. Everyone knows Mr. Snuffles et al wants to be sitting under the table by junior’s high chair, not stuffed in his own.

  18. Dogs are meant to eat while standing, not sitting. Next thing you know they’ll be inventing forks and knives for pets so they don’t hurt their teeth. Puh-leeze.

    • Doggie forks and knives!! What an awesome idea, Dana! You have a knack for this. Expect the Hammacher Schlemmer people to be calling you at any moment!!

  19. OH MY GOSH, y’all have got to be really kidding? The people who come up with this crap, what are they smoking??? Seriously, maybe we should all inhale & life would be just grand… bejeebuz… LOL. I don’t have a clue how y’all find this mess… XO girls & KUDOS! (BTW it would not work with my 80lb. dog, just sayin’, do they have an adjustable for the bigger dogs? bahahahahaha)

    • I’m with you, Amber. They need to have a larger model to accommodate larger dogs, too. They are even hungrier than the little guys!! I hope they get on this immediately!

    • I’m not sure about *all* pets, but I know my dog has a definite look of excitement on her face every time you reach for the leash or open a piece of American cheese. For realz. You can also see how sad she was by the look on her face when I switched the family to air popped pop corn. She doesn’t enjoy that kind of snacking at all. It broke her heart. (Sorry, Daisy)

    • That’s exactly why you NEED the Pet High Chair! After a few dinners, her table manner would be up to par with at LEAST your average teen.

  20. Hahahah… that’s one of the best photoshops I’ve ever seen!!! Also… ohmygodthisissocuteiwantit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Judge me if you must. I’m judging myself a little, too. 😛

    • Hahahahaha. Thanks, Amanda. And no judgment here! My dog sleeps with me on my bed and owns her own personal people size couch (no lie…it’s her couch. The rest of us don’t sit on it anymore), so you know how I roll with respect to pets as members of the family!

  21. I’m pretty sure my dog was looking over my shoulder when I read this post and has headed off to order one for himself right now. He has only been part of our family since July, but i believe he feels he is deserving of a spot!

    • Bwahahahahaha. That’s the one downside of being a blogger and having pets. They figure out how to use the computer from watching you and then all sorts of things start arriving to your house from Amazon.com. THIS purchase, however, will be welcomed at your table, I know! 😀

  22. I love it!! Now, they need to come up with a special aquarium that doesn’t take up valuable table space so that your pet snakes and such can also be part of the family!!!

    • Excellent point, Kim. Why keep a scaly member of the family away from the dinner table just because it doesn’t have legs? UNFAIR! I’m sure the Hammacher Schlemmer people are already in their test labs coming up with the perfect Snake Chair.

  23. OMG! I loved my dog. Like a lot. But no. No freaking way. Of course, he weighed 90 pounds and would have needed a bigger chair. This is hilarious!! I love the table with the huge turkey and then the dog between guests. I’m guessing they would NOT argue about Obamacare with puppy between them. Ha!

    • They do say that loving on pets lowers your blood pressure. What better way to ensure that family members don’t fight than by having a puppy sit between them?!?! It’s a foolproof scheme for family harmony!!

    • There is something out there for EVERYONE, Melissa! Start turning your stupid ideas into gold immediately!! If you can dream it, SOMEONE will buy it!

  24. SQUEEEEEEE!! Look at that chair full of adorable! I know it’s not the best for everyone, but if the choice was mine I’d totally let her sit at the table in her high chair 😀

    • Me too, Xae!! Plus, you KNOW that dog is more pleasant to sit next to than your 4th cousin twice removed who only talks about his bunion surgery. I’ll take the dog any day!!

  25. Oh… no. My dogs would probably love to sit at the table with us though. It’s bad enough I have to chase them out of the kitchen and they lay nearby snorting when we don’t eat fast enough and share our food with them.

    • Oh, Jeanne. You can’t fool me. I KNOW your dogs belong at your table. I have seen their adorable little faces. You need to make this happen. Zeus and Tank deserve nothing less!! 😀

    • Cassi, that is GENIUS!!! You can have the adult table, the kiddie table, and the pet table!! (Depending on the guests, I’d rather eat at the pet table than the grown up table some years. I’m just sayin’….)

  26. OMG! OMG!! I can not believe what I am seeing!!!! LOL! This is perfect, yet again, I bow down before you!! I love you guys so much!! (I really hope my sister does not see this because I swear she would get it for her new puppy!) xo

    • You know what’s better than buying this…MAKING YOUR OWN VERSION!! Your aunt must be crafty. That’s even BETTER! She could make one with novelty fabric that could match her tablescape and/or have a holiday theme. That would be the pinnacle of awesomeness.

  27. Like we don’t find enough pet hair in our food naturally? Invite them to the table? I’m pretty sure my husband would divorce me.

    I spent a lot of time on a farm as I was growing up. Animals were animals. I’ll never get used to the animals as people surrogates thing. The term fur-baby is tough for me to swallow. They are definitely not welcome at my table. Ick!

    • You’ve got to get your husband on board, Robin. He might be the only one with enough wrist strength to clamp the seat properly to the table. What’s a little pet hair in your stuffing among friends? 😀

  28. LOL why did you photoshop that little doggie in that beautiful photo!!??? haha. This one is classic and so perfect for the holiday. This completely repulses me but it might be a great christmas gift LOL

    • I like your style, Nellie. You are a girl after my own heart. Any potential Christmas gift that has the ability to delight and repulse at the same time goes to the top of my list. 😀

  29. I wish Jeffrey perched on the back of the couch. He jumps on the table and sniffs everyone’s food (although he doesn’t eat or lick it so I’m really not sure why they all get into a tizzy). I have to go shopping now.

    • Carli, this seat was MADE FOR JEFFREY!! I’m a little bit disappointed he doesn’t have one already!! He deserves nothing but the very best! He’s only on the table because he doesn’t want to miss out on the conversation. He’s a part of the family, too!!

    • I don’t know, Adrienn! I think they are only settling on the floor because it’s as close as they can get to the proceedings. You know they crave their own place mat and water goblet.

  30. Hilarious! My dog would probably love this, but it’s not happening any time soon :) Have a great Thanksgiving ladies!

    • You know your dog would love it, Dawn! Plus, you don’t have to worry about the dog begging at your feet. He/she can look you right in the eye to get a little extra turkey!

  31. If I put my Small Dog in a high chair at a table full of food, she would scarf down her own food, and then jump onto the table and run around eating everyone else’s food! I think she’d better stay on the floor where she can vacuum up everyone’s crumbs.

    • She just might do that, but think of the excitement it would add to the meal! At least you won’t be bored from hearing the same story from Uncle Hal for the 1,000th time! 😀

  32. LOL…Love the photo edit! Ironically, I know people who would use this! It definitely makes me roll my eyes and mumble, “Oh, brother!” People treat their pets better than they do their own kids! What is this world coming to!?!?!

  33. Oh, if you jam your 60lb dog into this seat PLEASE take a picture! That would be hilarious! Otherwise, I think Hammacher Schlemmer just stole the idea from American Girl…and it totally going to make a fortune on it! Although I do have to say I’d rather sit next to a dog than a doll, the dog would be appreciative…that damn doll would just sit there.

  34. Good grief! I know people love their dogs, but there’s just no need for this. I can’t even imagine all the squirming and lapping up of food that would happen. But that last photo definitely makes the post!

  35. No, no, no, no! How in the world did I miss this?? I am not a fair judge since I don’t have a dog but OMG, yuck with the pet hair by the food and what if a cat has to cough up a hair ball right in the middle of the main course? No, no, no.

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