Pinterest Nightmare #327: The 2013 Holiday Style Guide

We’ve officially made it into the holiday season!

There are decorations to hang, creepy Elf people to plant on your shelves, and gift lists to complete. But there will be time for all of that later because now…

It’s time to Par-TAY!

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of holiday parties?

No, not booze.

It’s HOLIDAY FASHION!!  You know you need to make the right impression when you hit the office party or cookie exchange.

The perfect holiday outfit has to have the right amount of holiday cheer and elan to make everyone sit up and take notice! Ugly Christmas sweaters need not apply!

You know where you can head for all your head-to-toe holiday glamour needs…PINTEREST!!

Let’s hit it!

Baby it’s cold outside–so you’re going to want the ultimate holiday hat to add a little oomph to your ensemble...

Pinterest Nightmare #327a: Scorpion Facehugger Headpiece

Style-Scorpion Hat

as pinned from etsy.com

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Are the shiny white tassels a little over the top?” No, it’s the holidays! People expect you to glam it up a bit at the preschool Christmas pageant.

While it’s true that the scorpion isn’t traditionally associated with yuletide cheer, the barb at the end of the stinger mimics a Christmas tree effectively and the netting will keep your neck warm. Add to that the impressive use of sequins and six face framing legs, and we’re sold!

Now that we’ve got a great hat, we need to consider hair and makeup. You don’t want to head into the holiday season with your standard everyday look. You’ve got to turn it up a notch if you are celebrating…

Pinterest Nightmare #327b: The Perfect Hair and Makeup

Style-Hair and Makeup

as pinned from tomandlorenzo.com from the Thom Browne 2014 RTW runway show

When we found this pin, it was like getting a hair and makeup consultation with a Hollywood pro. Look at the resigned and slightly depressed expression the model is sporting. That’s EXACTLY what we look like at the end of a long day of mall shopping.

A strong, red lip is perfect for the holidays! Even though we’re not makeup artists, we’re pretty sure even *we* can mimic this application during red lights even if we have to brake quickly. In fact, that may help.

And who doesn’t want a hairdo that will add a little height and lift to their crown area? Even better, this is naturally how your hair will look when you remove the Scorpion Facehugger Headpiece! Synergy!

Now we’re moving on to the main event. It’s all been leading up to this moment. Thanks to Pinterest, we’ve found the perfect garment to convey effortless holiday chic…

Pinterest Nightmare #327c: Beaver Pelt Halter Top

Style-Beaver Halter

as pinned from rstyle.me

You can keep your ferrets, voles, and muskrats…NONE of them have the allure of Beaver fur. Beaver is really the only semiaquatic large-sized rodent worth wearing this holiday season. You can quote us on that.

Naturally, we’d pair this halter with a pair of demure bikini jeans to complete the look to perfection.

And finally, you can’t plan a holiday outfit without quality footwear…

Pinterest Nightmare #327d: Noë Toe Shoe Pumps

Style- Toe Shoes

as pinned from shoe-tease.com

When I first heard “toe shoes” I envisioned Clara from The Nutcracker treating us to an en pointe solo. These pumps are even better.

They’ll give your holiday outfit the perfect pop of festive color, and if you don’t have time to schedule a pedicure before the office party, NO PROBLEM! I think that left foot may be working on a little bit of a hammertoe, but that just adds to the charm!

Well, what do you think?

Dose of Holiday Look Nailed It

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #327: The 2013 Holiday Style Guide — 120 Comments

    • Aw, Amber…at least you’re on board with the beaver pelt halter, right? And the shoes. You’ve got to love them!! 😀

  1. Just when I had forgotten about the bikini jeans!!
    I think this is my fav, but really, there are so many great lines in this one:
    “Look at the resigned and slightly depressed expression the model is sporting. That’s EXACTLY what we look like at the end of a long day of mall shopping.”
    YES!!!!

    • We could not let you forget bikini jeans, Allie. The thought hurts our heart! That runway model really captured the essence of the seasonal shopping experience, didn’t she?! 😀

    • I think that might be too much sparkle and glamour for Halloween. I think the only other acceptable venue would be the neighborhood Bunko league’s New Year’s Eve bash!

  2. You both totally nailed it! Seriously, you pulled this look off perfectly. But seriously, you always give me such a grey laugh on Fridays and need to thank you both for that. Happy Friday and have a great weekend, too!! :)

    • Thanks, Janine!! We had to do our poses from the front, though. We haven’t done enough Weight Watchers to keep our back fat from looping over the thong in the back of the bikini jeans. Maybe next year.

  3. I was going to say this rocked but then I saw the picture of y’all in your jeans. I DIE. Seriously. Stop. Peeing.

    Fortunately I hadn’t yet had my coffee in hand or you’d owe me a new laptop.

    xo – Awesome weekend wishes to you ladies.

    p.s. Is it bad that the pelt thing reminded me of Cole’s beard? Oops.

  4. Also? I was about to ask what the HELL is on your heads under the scorpion thing and then I realized – no stone unturned – you did your hair like the model. Serious love, y’all. LOVE.

    • 😀
      Like Pinterest, when we commit… we commit, baby!

      My hair looked just like the model’s when I woke up this morning. Pinterest has helped me realize my natural glamour potential!!

  5. What makes this stellar isn’t even the outfit, it’s the bang up work in photoshopping it all together. I love it!!

    • Thanks, Mike! It’s really optimal for us to wear bikini jeans via photoshop exclusively. It’s better for everyone this way. 😀

    • Why thanks, Lorraine! Hope you were not wearing bikini jeans at the time! (There is not enough crotch fabric in them to support a Poise pad)

  6. Thank you, I was trying to figure out what to wear to my sisters cookie swap today! You have saved me!! Oh lord, what are these people thinking!!!!! I really needed a laugh today, thanks!! xoxo

    • I can *totally* see you in the Scorpion Facehugger Headpiece. It has such sparkle and flair! (and you could use the barb to stab anyone who tried to take more than their fair share of cookies home!)

    • I don’t know, Adrienne! It’s pretty hard to find the time to squeeze in a pedi during the holiday season. These shoes solve that problem! 😀

  7. That is a truly unforgettable holiday ensemble.
    So funny! Love that photo of you both rocking that look! :)

    • Thanks, Kim! This look is certain to turn heads when you walk into the room! They won’t be able to keep their eyes off of you! 😀

  8. I am crying from laughing. I don’t know where to start – the hammertoe, the makeup (I love Tom and Lorenzo – they are almost as funny as you gals), the stylish halter… You know what you could do to make that scorpion face hugger even more festive? Replace the feather with a little sprig of mistletoe. Am I right?!?! The picture of the two of you is the best ever. Absolutely love the fully decked out look. Well done!

    • MO!!!! I knew we were meant to be friends.

      I am a TLo ADDICT!! Whilst I have no fashion sense of my own, through their tutelage, I am now able to know if a shoe is to strappy for a particular look, and I know if the starlet went with yoga class hair or if she is wearing a clutch that is to “matchy”. I LOVE THEM!!

    • “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

      The day I can’t spot a “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” reference, is the day I chuck it in for good. I practically had that movie memorized by the time I was a sophomore in college.

      I hope you are feeling better VERY soon!! “I’m not dead yet! I’m feeling better…” 😀

  9. I don’t even know what to say. But I’d love to see people’s faces if you actually wore all that. Laughing so hard…it’s a good thing I don’t have any coffee or tea near my laptop..

    • I’d love to see their faces, too. Unfortunately, the scorpion hat probably restricts your peripheral vision, so I’d probably have to rely on auditory clues to know if they’d gotten a good look.

    • Bwahahahaha. When I saw that on Twitter, I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair! 😀 It’s surprising that beaver isn’t used more often in garments. Rodent fur is highly underrated in general! 😀

    • Like them? Heck…I LOVE THEM. All the glamour of going barefoot without having to pumice stone my dry heels. They’re perfect!!

    • YES!! Get to internet shopping quickly, Jennifer! You don’t want to arrive to that party without all your sparkly holiday wear in place. I can give you tips on how to achieve the height required for the hair. *Aqua net*

    • As a new mom, I KNOW you can get that exact runway hair and makeup look down with no trouble. I’m not sure if beaver is hypoallergenic, so you might not want Eve to come in contact with it to be on the safe side.

    • Ooooh, I bet skunk would make a totally fetching piece! It might take the look to a very upscale and Parisian chic place, but maybe that’s just the Pepe Le Pew influence coming up in the back of my mind.

  10. Good one! The shoes made me laugh. Great job assembling all the elements in the last picture. You look totally ready for the holidays.

    • We are completely ready, John. The question is, is the world ready for us in our holiday looks? Only time will tell.

    • They are insane. I mean, on the website they paired the beaver halter top with leather pants!! Can you imagine?! What’s WRONG with people? Obviously you need bikini jeans or it’s just too over the top.

    • Oh, no!!! Maybe there are two hidden legs along the netting. That must be it, Rabia. I can’t believe that someone would go to all the trouble to sparkle up a scorpion hat and have it be anatomically incorrect. No way!

  11. I am DYING! LMAO! These are hideous! I want to buy all of them! Hee hee! These would make GREAT gag or white elephant gifts! Although that hat is kinda scary looking at first I thought it was a spider. . .upon a second glance all of these “things” appear to have A Nightmare Before Christmas vibe going on!

  12. As with the majority of your Pin posts there are no words. No words. I think what really peaked my interest was the Beaver halter top. I’ve ordered one and am over the moon with excitement that it will arrive by Christmas Eve. It’s bound to be the best food bib ever. I’ll be dining on the leftovers it traps for days. Maybe even into the new year. Bless you girls. You nailed it again.

    • Hahahahaha. That halter is a showstopper!! You will be a vision at the Christmas dinner table, Kelly. Your kids won’t believe their eyes.

    • Thanks, Kristina. We’re going to have to beef up our arm workouts since we will have a lot of exposed shoulder, but we want to be fashionable! 😀

  13. Can I touch your beaver? I’ve never felt beaver fur before…
    HAHA – how you two find these things continually amazes me. Oh, and I flunked the party quiz, because I totally thought “booze.”

    • Don’t be hard on yourself, Kristi. I would have answered booze, too, if I wasn’t looking at such fashionable pins!

  14. I nearly spit out my water! Wow! Just wow! I mean, avant-garde just went Dose-style! Bravo, ladies! I am sure you will be getting a call from a top designer just dying to know your trade secrets! Hold out for the big bucks, ladies! Your talent is so worth it! 😉

  15. You did totally nail it!! I love the beaver halter and for those of us who forget to get a proper pedicure the pumps are perfect! You two should really be personal stylists!

  16. Omg, your finished look is a-MAY-zing! I didn’t think we’d get to see the bikini jeans again in 2013, and now with those beaver halters and your scorpian head gear, I think it’s going to be all the rage in ’14. I will tell everyone that I saw it here first! Love this, girls!

    • We really relish the opportunity of shining a light on bikini jeans whenever we can, Karen! Add the scorpion and the beaver, and you have a veterinarians delight kind of holiday look!

    • You can’t let your phobias limit your fashion potential, Tamara!! We let go of our “the world shouldn’t see our back fat” phobia to consider bikini jeans! It’s freeing!! (and a little chilly in winter, but sometimes you have to suffer for fashion)

    • Thanks, Meredith. It’s so cold out today, we welcome any heat we can get!! (especially since this outfit leaves a lot of skin exposed)

  17. Haha! This is genius! I can’t believe such nightmares exist. I think my fav is the scorpion head piece!

    • We love that one, too!! It’s so sparkly and festive…and that hat covers a bad hair day in such an eye catching way. We can’t believe awesome fashion like this exists either!! 😀

  18. Nailed it lmbo. I can’t with some of the things people actually create for others to wear I just can’t. That thing would scare me and if I saw it in the middle of the night I would kill it like the bug or creature it looked like.

    • Bwahahahaha. I do admit that the outfit could be a wee bit scary if you came up on it at night and weren’t expecting it. Especially the hat…and the furry halter…and the bikini jeans if I was wearing them….

    • Sold!! I don’t bake either…and a wine/cocktail exchange sounds like the perfect venue for an outfit like this. The makeup already looks like it was put on when someone was tipsy!

  19. The entire time I was going through this, I was thinking that they needed to be put together into a single picture…and of course you didn’t disappoint. Pinterest never fails, does it?

  20. The awesome thing about the beaver pelt halter is when you spill something on yourself at a holiday party, you can just rub it right into the fur, and no one is the wiser! I wonder if they have one in my size…

    • Exactly, Dana! And it is waterproof to an extent, so you don’t even need a raincoat in inclement weather! So practical!!

  21. I am laughing my ARS off!!!!!!!!!! Oh girls- now I just need to hang with you in person so we can laugh at all of this Godforsaken stuff (sh–) together!!!!

    You two… oh you TWO!!! That picture!!! OHMYGOSH how I freaking LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. {Melinda} My, how I have missed you two. And this post is exactly why. You are wacky and funny and weird — and wonderful. :) We took a little blogging break to work on another project (which is almost done!!) but I’ve been missing my blogging buddies, so I had to reemerge. Thanks for the giggle. 😉

    • Ooooh, how intriguing!! Can’t wait to find out about your project!! It’s so good to see you! We’ve missed you, Melinda!

  23. OMG! These are terrible! lol. Those shoes are something else!! I need to find an outfit for our employee Christmas party next week but none of these will do. I’m laughing at the picture of the two of you!!

    • I don’t know, Jeanne. I think you could really rock the employee Christmas party in this outfit! You could pull it off!

  24. Well now I’m afraid to even try it. At first I didn’t think it would all go together but you two look HAWT! I think it might be the beaver pelt halter top. Hairy chests are totally in.

    • The beaver halter is the secret sauce that pulls it all together alright! You’re so tiny, I’m not sure the toe shoes will fit you, but…we can use some heel pads and make it work, Carli!!

  25. I was cracking up before I even saw the picture of you guys! I kept thinking – I wish I could see that hat on someone… I wish I could see that halter on someone…thank you for pulling it all together for me! I’m going to look great at the Christmas concert!

    • We aim to please, Stephanie. We couldn’t tease you with the individual pieces and then not take the time to put the entire outfit together!! We wouldn’t leave you hanging like that! Most importantly…you are going to rock the beaver pelt halter at the Christmas concert!!

    • Somebody really is, Nina. But if it weren’t for Pinterest, we’d never know how great all these items would look together!! Wow is right!!

    • Bwahahahahahahaha. That is absolutely perfect! I cannot tell you how much I love that commentary. Our work here is done! 😀

    • Um…crazy AWESOME right, Amy!! It’s gorgeous and warm so you get style and practicality. You don’t often find that in your semi-aquatic rodent pelts!!

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