Pinterest Nightmare #648: The Human Slingshot

It’s a brand new year!

Like 98% of the population, the Dose Girls have decided to make some changes!

In addition to our perpetual action items that automatically roll over to the next year’s list because we never actually do them (“do a monthly date night” and “stop yelling so much”), our 2014 New Year’s resolutions are all about getting healthy! Here are a few from our actual lists:

  • We vow to find one semi-edible recipe using those grains we can barely pronounce like freekeh, bulgur, and/or quinoa.
  • We will never buy Rainbow Goldfish in bulk if Costco also has the Whole Grain Rainbow Goldfish in stock.
  • We will consider possibly starting to think about doing real, regular exercise several weeks this year.

I know. We are starting to get really hard core now.

What do we do when we need ideas on how to get healthy? Why, consult Pinterest of course!!

Luckily, we found this awesome outdoor activity that’s fun for the whole family. We can already feel the Weight Watchers Activity Points adding up…

Pinterest Nightmare #648: The Human Slingshot

The Human Slingshot

as pinned from

Thanks to The Human Slingshot, Lawn Darts now have some serious competition as the backyard activity most likely to end with a trip to the Emergency Room! And, unlike Lawn Darts, it’s not banned from being sold in the United States! (yet)

Our friends at Skymall have really hit a home run with this one! According to their website, “The Human Slingshot is a fresh new game, unlike anything you’ve seen and is guaranteed to be a big hit”.Β So true! I never *have* seen anything like this before (when I was sober) and it will be a big hit (to someone’s head especially if they don’t wear a helmet)!

But I don’t want to take the word of some Skymall marketing guru on the quality of this game. I want to know what real people think about it! Well, it just so happens that The Human Slingshot possesses a firm Skymall rating of 4.8 out of 5 stars! WOW!

Reviewer “Kimbojoe” bought this for her 15 year old and stated “The Pros: Fun and good exercise! The Cons: Could be dangerous” She goes on to report they had only “one shoulder injury and one bloody nose” after their first use. She’s right. That *does* sound like fun!

Skymaller “ACamper” gives The Human Slingshot 4 stars and passes along the very helpful tip that it “works much better when all participants are tall. The little ones kept getting tossed out under the band.” Good to know! I’ll be sure to consult my old physics text books to devise better trajectory angles so the little ones can really get some decent hang time in the air!

Of course not everyone on Skymall was in love with The Human Slingshot. “KingOfTheJungle” was a little annoyed that “there was no motion sickness mentioned on the warning label”. I guess we know what happened with KingOfTheJungle had his turn!

Despite KingOfTheJungle’s weak stomach, we think The Human Slingshot still looks like a winner. JustΒ take another peek at the picture! You can tell it’s really fun by the festive dispositions of the drunk college kids spurring on the fraternity pledge who’s about to hurl through the air! (and nobody has to worry because they are all on their parents’ health plans until they are 26 now! Whoo Hoo!)

And really, how can you resist this backyard game when you realize there is a video on YouTube video entitled “Human Slingshot Best Crashes”! My kids love YouTube! Sold!

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.



Pinterest Nightmare #648: The Human Slingshot — 104 Comments

    • I’m with you, Vanessa. Anything that makes my children immediately say, “I’ve got to try that right now” deserves a side eye!! πŸ˜€

    • Thanks, Nicole. We wanted to start the Pinterest year off with a nightmare that would require an ambulance on standby…and we found one!! πŸ˜€

  1. Best crashes Youtube video says it all! But seriously, I couldn’t help but smile and then laugh about this one. But I am with you on getting a bit more healthy in the new year and I promise to now put that Christmas cookie down and eat healthier!! πŸ™‚

    • Not so fast, Janine! I bet that cookie has loads of healthy ingredients. You don’t want to be hasty!! I’ve got to get moving…and hurling through the air certainly counts, right?

    • It certainly seems like drunk is a requirement (or at least helpful) for using the Human Slingshot properly. From what I’ve seen on Pinterest, it seems like there is a LOT of drunk pinning going on! πŸ˜€

  2. The first thing I did was consult Google to see if rainbow goldfish come in whole grain?! The second thing I did was consult Cassidy to see if we could give this to Des for his 2nd birthday.
    That’s 24 more years on his parent’s health care plan, right? Right.

    • I’m sorry about the Goldfish thing, Tamara! πŸ™ If only…if only. Maybe one day….
      We have to take advantage of the insurance while we have it. If you pay and pay into your plans but never use them, you are on the losing end of that transaction. We’ve got to get the kids in slingshots and on catapults so we get our money’s worth out of our insurance premiums! πŸ˜€

  3. If you happen to find a healthy recipe that doesn’t taste like dirty feet, please let me know.

    I tried whole grain goldfish before and it left a gross taste in my mouth. Never again. They have a vanilla cupcake flavor. Yum. But oops, we’re trying to be healthy, yes? Crap.

    That human slingshot would be fun, but I’m clumsy, so I’d be injured, I just know it…

    • Oh, I will let you know if I find that recipe, Amber. So far I am zero for 5,000 attempts. I will keep you posted!!

      I think that The Human Slingshot is a guaranteed way to end up in the orthopedists office picking out your cast color, but maybe that’s just me.

    • Bwahahahaha. You are so right!! It could also be used if your guest who are rooting for the other team get a little to drunk and irritatingly rowdy. Point them toward the front door and OUT THEY GO! Plus, drunk people seem to take falls better than the rest of us. They’ll be fine.

  4. I see a whole bunch of stupid human tricks videos being posted as we read this. Although there are a few people I wouldn’t mind flinging off into the distance with this…hehehe

    • I like your style. I can think of a few people that need some slingshot time myself now that you mention it…. πŸ˜€

    • My kids would love it, too, Dawn. That pretty much says all you need to know about how ill advised it is right there.

  5. My kids would run (not walk) to get to that crazy contraption. It is beyond terrifying though! I don’t think I want to watch the videos–I’d be traumatized forever!

    • I’ve watched them for you, Nellie, so don’t do it. I have you covered. I am still cringing at a few of the face plants.

  6. Hilarious! I particularly enjoyed the comment about making sure you have your trajectories right for the little ones! Oh and my sister-n-law made this really yummy quinoa salad that tasted like almond joys. I’ll have to get that recipe and share!!!

    • Wait a minute….you know a quinoa recipe that tastes like candy and you haven’t shared it yet? WHAT??!! Go pester your SIL right away and get us this recipe, girl!! πŸ˜€

    • Beware, Shashi. I feel like I need to wear a helmet just to watch it. And I grabbed my poor knees in solidarity more than once after seeing a few of the crashes. YIKES!

    • I know, right?! How can they not be sued blind? I guess any judge and jury would decide you get what you deserve if you willfully get yourself into something called The Human Slingshot! πŸ˜€

    • I don’t want you to get ripped off by falling out under the slingshot. That’s no fun! We’ll make sure to get you adjusted properly so you have a suitable ride like everyone else, shorty! πŸ˜€

  7. My son would love this but I would be concerned like where would I go , where would I end up, who will catch me just too many questions about my whereabouts lol

    • SO many questions, Kita. I do know the answer to one,, though. The ground. It’s just the ground that catches you. Lawd!

  8. This belongs on a certain show that shall remain nameless that gets its name from a donkey and involves stupid stunts…That is all. (Side note: I say a woman who wanted to “dispense” of her daredevil hubby invented this! “I swear, officer, it was an accident! I had no idea he would break his neck!” Yah, way to make the game take the fall, lady, way to go! Insurance companies won’t suspect a thing! *rolls eyes*)

    • Bwahahahaha! You are so right, Julie. It brought to my mind Johnny Knoxville and his crew, too! This is *totally* up their alley!
      I think you might be on to something with your inventor theory. And frankly if her husband is stupid enough to get in this contraption, he probably has it coming to him! πŸ˜€

    • I think they all sound difficult to deal with, but I will take your word for it!! At least nobody will be able to tell the difference if I burn the black rice, right?! πŸ˜€

    • Bwahahahahahaha! No!! It’s great. If talking a friend into slingshotting across the yard is wrong, I don’t want to be right. πŸ˜€

  9. I think this would be more fun if the human slingshot was wearing a velcro suit! Imagine the imaginative games of “Pin Your Dad on the Side of the House” or “Pin the Cat in the Tree”. Heartwarming.

    • I can see it now!! I love the idea! You should contact the Human Slingshot people and make this a reality. You will become a legend.

    • Bwahahahaha. SO TRUE! See I would *not* have done it, but my brother would have. I didn’t carry the family nickname of “Cautious Clem” for nothing!

  10. “As pinned from SkyMall”?!?! That just screams awesomeness and the human slingshot does not disappoint. What’s a few bloody noses and concussions compared to the hours of fun that the tall people in your family have to look forward to?

    • Oh LAWD, MO! I’ve been laughing 5 minutes straight over this. I know when I see a SkyMall pin it’s going to be a winner! I’m still working on my adjustments for the shorties. It might take a little trial and error, but we will get them airborne!

    • Here’s the best part, Chris. I didn’t make them up. I will admit I’m not above adding a little somethin’ somethin’ to a post to make it better. But not this time. Those are the actual testimonials of real Human Slingshot users. (When they got home from the hospital, got their arms out of their slings, and were able to type again)

    • I think you need to find a way to get the neighbors themselves in the Human Slingshot. They are boozy. They’ll go for it! That would solve your problems, Jill.

  11. I love, love, love how you included people’s ridiculous reviews!! Who is putting their “little ones” in that thing? Really? I hope DCF patrols Pinterest as well. They would get plenty of business. Speaking of…you ladies are getting hard core with those goals! Ha ha – I love it!!

    • You know, reading all of you fitness bloggers (and seeing your work out videos) is very inspiring. You guys have taken us to the next level! I might even think about starting to consider working out tonight now that you mention it! (My FitBit got so excited when I typed that is said, “I love you, Lisa”. Cree Pee.)

    • I think you answered your own question, Lisa. I’m 99% sure that fraternity pledges were involved as testers and 100% sure that copious amounts of alcohol were present at the conception of this game!

  12. Now you have to find a full body helmet on Pinterest, to wear while being the human slingshot. If you look closely, the guy in the photo has a smile on his face but also a look that says, “Ha ha, I’m laughing on the outside but on the inside I’m terrified.” Here’s to another year of Pinterest nightmares!

    • Upon closer inspection the poor victim…er…game player does look terrified. Poor thing. They should have given him one more beer before they loaded him in there!

    • Hmmmm…I think I might be able to pronounce that one. Does it taste like dirt? I guess I’ll give it a go and find out! πŸ˜€

  13. OK, that thing looks really dangerous, but the real point here it why in the world would you buy rainbow goldfish OR whole grain goldfish!?!? The only ones worth eating are the original or pretzel ones. The red ones taste especially gross. It’s like I don’t even know you guys right now!!!

    • I am TOTALLY with you, Rabia. I LOVE pretzel Goldfish. My insane children like those hideous rainbow ones though. UGH, or even worse. They beg for the “flavor blast” version that has double the gross flavor powder. Blech! Hideous!!

  14. I confess, I would love to try the human slingshot BUT as the proud owner of a set of lawn darts I’m probably never going to be anyone’s go-to safety person.

    • Bwahahahahahaha! Oh, Patti!!! I like your style! I should have known that anyone as good with sharp and pointy knitting needles as you are would laugh in the face of danger or impalement!

      • For my next trick I will knit a hat with 5 double pointed needles, while playing dance dance revolution and sipping a margarita … Or maybe not. I’m not sure I could rock an eye patch that well πŸ˜€

    • You only ate HALF of a chocolate bar?! Color me impressed!! Hardcore is the only word to describe leaving half a candy bar uneaten. I bow down! πŸ˜€

  15. I could see kids hooking it up to a saucer sled and shoot themselves downhill like Clark Griswald. Now that I could understNd. Anything else is just insane!!

    • That sounds like WAY more fun than the way they intended us to use it. Plus, with this Polar Vortex, it’s more practical, too!!

  16. All I know is I hope that if I get to a blogger convention or even just a big meet-up that we can have one of these available – it could be so much fun!!!

  17. You know what is bad…I can see my boys having a field day with this product!! They would be wanting to play with it for hours on end and come up with as many different uses for it as possible. I can literally see their sister flying through the air with the dog in tow too!

    • I’m pretty sure Bobby would want to send Lucy sailing through the air, too. It would be the first thing he’d do (after he took it for a spin himself!)

  18. Wow, those really exist? Funny thing is that it’s actually kind of a cool photo. But… it’s a human slingshot lol.

    Good luck with your goals! At least you narrowed it down to one theme πŸ™‚ Quinoa is actually pretty good too!

    • Exactly! It seems like it would be kind of cool…until you realize that it is a Human Slingshot. That kind of ruins it.

  19. I’m so glad that your changes for 2014 don’t include getting rid of your Pintereset nightmare! My daughter, Adrenaline junkie #1, would LOVE this! And I can’t wait for your quinoa recipes πŸ™‚

    • Squee! Love the way the new photo looks as your avatar! Lovely!! We’ll just keep quiet about this the Human Slingshot so Adrenaline junkie #1 doesn’t catch wind of it. I’ll get to work on my quinoa recipes. I know all I have to do to win you over is include olives. Easy peasy! πŸ˜€

  20. Is it totally weird that I think the human slingshot would be perfect for my husband because oh wait. This is recorded, right? That human slingshot is WEIRD and wrong. Also I have no idea what freekeh or bulgur even is. The other one you mentioned (maybe started with a q?) I think is a grain. But the others. Vegetables? Grain? Martian? No clue. YAY to goals in 2014 though and human slingshots. HAAHA

  21. I love you both so much!!!! Brilliant, shear perfection!!! I can’t believe people would, a, make this,b, actually buy it and c, be dumb enough to admit it in a review!! Welcome back, I missed you guys so much!!

  22. My brother would have bought this with his own money and then broke his arm 15 minutes into … what do people imagine will happen? They fly into the air and land on the ground. WHY????? Also, I ate at a restaurant where they mixed quinoa in with the rice. I went home and did that for my kids and they never noticed. I feel smug every time I serve them that.

  23. I was thinking about getting the kids a trampoline, I think this seems better. I bet that the shoulder injury could be wrapped up tight with the slingshot. Multi-purpose.

  24. That cracked me up when you mentioned Lawn Darts. Just found a box at an antique shop and paid $25 (the original price was 3.99) and the directions were very explicit about the dangers. We still enjoyed a good game with the kids, and felt so adventurous πŸ™‚

  25. Wow, just wow….I am feeling phantom aches and pains just thinking about that. I will never let my husband see this because he might think it would be fun to slingshot the dogs across the yard after he tried it himself and we had a huge emergency room bill!

  26. You had it right when you said this was for drunk college frat boys….and their parent’s health insurance. I can’t even imagine what the inventor was thinking!

  27. I really don’t care for when people play “bags” at outdoor parties. I just don’t get it – but this would be awesome! I LOL’ed at KingOfTheJungle. You guys are too funny!

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