Pinterest Nightmare #719: Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant

Pinterest is good for so many things. It puts the world at your fingertips.

Where else can you find a recipe for fake “mashed potatoes” made from cauliflower, a picture of a baby owl wearing a hand knit cap, and an infographic taking you through the history of Dubstep written entirely in Spanish?

You’re not finding that kind of useful, important information on Facebook, kids.

One thing Pinterest does exceedingly well is give parents a solid resource to turn to when faced with parenting dilemmas.

Want to know how often to change your child’s diaper? Pinterest will hook you up with a Tweet Pee! What do you do with your child when *you* have to use the powder room? Order that Babykeeper Basic from your Pinterest feed, and you’ll be set! Need to protect the self esteem of your hideously bald baby? No problem. Pinterest will introduce you to Baby Bangs!

We really thought we’d seen all that Pinterest had to offer parents, but then we came across this gem of a pin…

Pinterest Nightmare #719: Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant

Tell your cat you're pregnant square-600

as pinned from Amazon.com

It’s Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant, the essential guide book (and audio companion CD) for pet owners who haven’t figured out how to break the news of their pregnancy to their cats!!

Let’s face it. Not every cat has excellent coping skills. You can’t just shove a positive Clear Blue Easy in their face and expect them to to jump on board. No. If you want your fur baby and your new baby to have a fulfilling relationship, you’ve got to be willing to put in the work.

That’s where Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant comes in. This 104 page manual gives you critical step-by-step instructions on how to facilitate the special feline-infant bond that is only possible when Mr. Jingle Paws feels empowered and self actualized.

In addition to helpful chapters like “Preventing a Cat-tastrophy During Labor”, “Your Litter Box is Still Yours: Maintaining Boundaries”, and “How to Include Your Cat in the Baby Naming Process”, the author also includes invaluable audio tracks like “Loud Crying” and “Screaming” designed to acclimate your cat to the new environmental stimuli he will be experiencing.

With this book and CD set, you are absolutely guaranteed success with your new family unit!!! ***

***Disclaimer: These sounds are to be used as a tool in a comprehensive training program as outlined in the book Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant. No guarantee that your cat will be better prepared for the arrival of your new baby, or that your cat will not harm your child or others is expressed or implied by the use of these sounds. Never leave your cat and baby together unsupervised. Neither the author or publisher assumes any liability for any injury to persons or property that may result from use of these sounds.

Fantastic!! I’m sold!

But don’t take my word for it! Let’s give Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant a practical test! Here’s how your cat feels about your new baby before exposure to this awesome program:

LucyCat

Oh, boy. That poor dear isn’t taking it well. He’s so despondent and withdrawn. It’s clear he is headed for a breakdown.

Now, behold the look of contentment and pure joy he is obviously experiencing after Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant came into his life:

LucyCat

What a difference!
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #719: Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant — 129 Comments

  1. So y’all have missed me early in the mornings, I know, my apologies…. Are you shittin’ me? (said with my truest southern twang possible) You girls always find the weirdest junk… ;-)XO!

    • I think you made a typo, Amber. It came out as “weird” but we know you meant to type “wonderful” when referring to something as essential as “Tell Your Cat You’re Pregnant” . Silly autocorrect!! 😀

    • I know. The audio files are a bargain at $8.99 but the paperback book is a bit pricey at $38.80. It may have to remain a mystery to me. :(

    • YES! It’s sort of a “Hello, peasants! I will now allow you to document my beauty with your camera. You’re welcome.” At least that’s what I think my cat was thinking when I took that photo.

    • I didn’t have a cat when I was pregnant either, Janine. We didn’t rescue our cat until later when we already had kids. Whew. I don’t think I would have had the energy for all of the counselling and psychological preparation necessary for the feline to make the transition. It was for the best, I guess. 😀

    • I know!! It’s so ridiculous to think there are people who don’t adequately prepare their cats for this very important step in life. Poor little kittens! Thank goodness we know better, Lisa! 😀

    • Bwahahahahaha! I’m with you, Christine. I didn’t have a cat when I was pregnant either time, and now I feel like I really missed out. I need to ask my husband if he’ll consider just *one more child* so I can see these techniques in action. Surely he’ll agree!! 😀

  2. Oh yeah, now THIS is why I joined Pinterest!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!! I’m not sure which is funnier – the disclaimer or the “before” and “after” shots of the cat!!! You ladies KILL me!

    • We are SO VERY EXCITED you have joined the fun on Pinterest, Allie! You are in for a treat!! Squee!! (Let us know if you find any good nighmare pin in your feed! They are our favorites!!)

  3. Well, I don’t have cats and I’m not planning on getting pregnant again, but I know where to go if both these very unlikely things happen. And only 104 pages long? Seems like a no brainer. I’m particularly interested in the chapter about getting the cat involved in naming the baby. My dogs didn’t want anything to do with the naming process. They just wanted treats. So selfish.

    • You know, dogs have the reputation of being so easy going and go with the flow…but really, when was the last time your dog wanted in on naming your child or deciding which fabric you use for your crib bumpers? Cats on the other hand? They want in on these decisions!

    • You must be lucky to have a very laid back cat, Amber. According to the book, cats usually want in on all the important and difficult decisions in a household.

      I hope you’ve seen those baby bangs out and about in real life. That would be so fantastic (well, except for the poor baby)

    • I know. I was speechless when I first saw this book, too. Why did I not think of this essential product that is a MUST HAVE for every pregnant cat owner?! Rats!

  4. Once again I bow down before you ladies!! This is excellent!! Now I will confess something to you. When I was expecting my now 15 year old my husband and I were crazy over our cat. Now I can’t say we WOULD have bought this, but I’m not going to say we WOULD NOT have!! I know, you have lost all respect for me!!! This is perfect!! Thanks for a great laugh, though I’m blaming you for my need of waterproof mascara! xo

    • Bwahahahaha! Oh, Kathy!! This might be my favorite comment of all time! YOU TOTALLY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THIS BOOK! SQUEE!! That thought makes me so happy. You are adorbs!! XOXOXO

    • But this would have streamlined the whole process, Jenn!! It would have put all your tools in one place…plus you can’t discount the impact of the audio track!!

  5. Lmfao – worst. pin. ever. Why on earth would you waste ANY time trying to “tell” your cat you’re pregnant? The disclaimer was just icing on the cake. Who actually took the time to come up with 104 pages of this bs?? A flyer would’ve been excessive!! Wow, Priceless! Happy Friday Lisa + Ashley! -Iva

    • You know who would come up with 104 pages, Iva? Dr. Lewis Kirkham, that’s who! He’s a legend in Australia (or so his Amazon author’s page professes) 😀

  6. What a total legit use of money that could easily be spent on things that don’t suck! BTW I just got stuck in to the vortex that is your ‘oh honey no’ pin board for about twenty minutes. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same!

    • Bwahahahaha. The “Oh, Honey…No!” Board is a scary and fabulous place. You just never know what is lurking on the next line. It could be an ugly bracelet made from human teeth, or it could be a book helping you to teach your cat to read.You just never know!

  7. Uh, ladies, why didn’t you tell me about this little gem months ago when I was still pregnant? Obviously this would have immensely helped our cat, Leo, be prepared for Eve’s arrival.

    • Oh, IF ONLY, BEV!! Unfortunately we *just* found this pin on Wednesday. We would not have held out on you if we’d known. I hope Leo can pick up the obviously not sufficiently prepared pieces of his life and cope now.

  8. You noticed the same thing I did, that’s a heck of a disclaimer.
    Ashley, is there any point when you were little that you would have fallen for mashed potatoes made out of cauliflower?

    • I think we should try it out, Bill. She doesn’t eat my cooking very often (I wonder why?) but I know she’ll be visiting you this summer. I’ll forward you the recipe and you can see what happens. We’ll just keep this between the two of us!

  9. OHMYGOSH, I am still LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! Oh girls- I can ALWAYS count on you for that!!!

    Once again- it’s all in the delivery. You NAILED it once again!!!

    HI-LAR-IOUS!!!!!!

    ps: Is that disclaimer actually on there? Omg!!!!

    • THAT IS THE ABSOLUTELY REAL DISCLAIMER for the product, Chris!! I did not alter or enhance even one syllable. Sometimes Pinterest Nightmares just write themselves! 😀

    • Oh, Sarah!!! How did your poor cat cope? Was he just devastated? Did he start spraying the crib area daily? It must have been tough for your fur baby! The horror!!

    • Bwahahaha. I know what you mean. I am totally considering adding another child to our brood so I can justify buying this system. I don’t want to waste money.

  10. The before and after pics sold me. I’ve ordered 17 ciopies – one for my pregnant niece and 16 for friends and family yet to be. I mean this item will soon be out of print. Who knows if they’ll print more?
    Do you know if they do a canine version? Our dog Fergus could have used it. When we brought our daughter home he clearly was suffering “What is it and how long is it staying?” syndrome.

    • I’m pretty sure our dog felt the same way, back in the day. She spent a lot of time brooding about it. I’m so glad that you have forced the book into a second printing single-handedly, Kelly!! WOOT!! I’m sure you will now be known as “the one who gives the best baby shower gifts” from this point forward.

  11. Really funny one, good find! I like how they think you would play Loud Crying and Screaming before you had the baby, like you (and the cat)wouldn’t be hearing plenty soon enough.

    • I really feel cats, like moms, can never hear enough loud crying or screaming. It’s the soundtrack to our lives most days. 😀

    • I’m about to blow your mind, Nicole. Not only did he come up with 104 pages of prenatal advice for our furry friends….he wrote a companion book for dogs!! He really wrote more along the lines of 208 pages! (and he has a third book about the subject out there somewhere, too) He’s quite prolific!

    • Oh, Stacey!!! You have no idea how much we’d love to sit and have a coffee with you while we peruse Pinterest!! It would MAKE OUR DAY!! XOXO!

    • Oh, Angela!! How did your kitties cope without a full psychological preparation?! I hope they were okay with the new baby intrusion into their lives back in the day. Maybe by now they have recovered. Maybe. 😀

  12. I absolutely love these Pinterest pieces you do. They crack me up every time!

    I hadn’t considered that we need to tell our cats/dogs that my wife is pregnant. Maybe they can ignore me too when I do it. Hahaha.

    • OH…NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Mike, what are you thinking??!! You need to get yourself on Amazon.com and get to ordering pronto. You might just have enough time to prepare your animals if you do a total immersion type of crash course. But you must hurry!! 😀

  13. Just so you know, we had Oscar (our cat) for about 3 years before I got pregnant. We did NOT buy this book or the lovely CD, and Oscar has hated us more and more each day since Frances, and then Henry and finally Benjamin came along. I believe he was severely traumatized by being demoted after the birth of our children. If only we had used these resources to let him down gently and explain away his fears.
    That, or our cat is just a jerk…

    • Rabia, I think that the author needs to feature your testimonial on the inside of his book jacket as a cautionary tale. If only this had been available for Oscar back in the day. *sob* 😀

  14. Really? I just figure, the animal adjust or it doesn’t. You can growl and hiss and purr all you want, but that just makes you look a little, shall we say, not all there. :) But what I want to know is if they have one for dogs. Definitely should be a whole series out there!

    • There *IS* a book for dogs, too, Julie!! There is!!
      Now, I don’t know if the author is working on other books for pets like fish, parakeets, and hamsters, but I bet he is. ALL animals deserve to be told the disturbing news of an upcoming baby in the most psychologically sound way possible! 😀

    • Oh, Sarah! You are so wise!! That just goes to show you, if you put the work in, you reap the rewards. It would be *so* much easier to put my feelings down on paper for the cat. I could make sure I was getting it worded just right!! Teaching your cat to read really pays off!

  15. Hilarious ending photos. I’m actually not all that surprised about this. I’ve known some crazy cat people. Love “self-actualization” in cats. Of all the beings on earth who don’t need self actualization. Haha. I’m also nostalgic now (can I be nostalgic after blogging for almost 7 months?). Zoe vs. the Cat was my first post.

    • Hahahaha! See, you get it , Liz! You know how important and potentially explosive the whole feline-baby balance can be! I bet your cat would have flourished with this program! 😀

    • My cat’s name was LucyCat (said all together as one word). That’s her photo at the end of the post….and my daughter’s name is Lucy. You be the judge as to how that happened, Kita. 😀

  16. Okay… I can’t decide what’s worse… the fact that this exists or the fact that there are probably people out there who have actually spent money on it!!!!

    • I don’t know, Amanda. It’s hard to say. I think we can *all* agree the *real* tragedy is that many cats aren’t prepared adequately for seminal life events like this. It’s heartbreaking.

    • Oh, Vicki! I’m so with you! I can’t believe he fit all of this excellent advice into a mere 104 pages! I’d expect an important work of this type to be at least 250!

    • According to the reviews on Amazon and other online baby shops, they not only have bought this program, but they LOVE it!! Cat people don’t mess around, yo!

  17. Seriously!? I wouldn’t believe this stuff existed if you didn’t show me it. Although I admit the cauliflower mashed potato thing is something I am pretty familiar with. The telling your cat you are pregnant. . . . I just don’t have words!

    • Good question, Alexa! I believe it was “cat products” but it may have been “weird cat products”. Add a “weird” or “strange” in there and the Pinterest world opens up to you! 😀

  18. Some people are just made to entertain the world, and the author of this book is definitely one of them. I’m totally curious as to how much she’s made on this book.

  19. I was going to ask about the dog version, but I saw your answer as I scrolled down. I particularly like the part about involving your cat in the naming process. I’m curious as to how that happens…

    • I am, too, Dana. It almost makes me want to talk my husband into another baby just to see what kind of names my pets can come up with!

  20. I must be following the wrong people. I don’t know where you guys find these gems. I don’t have a cat and I’m hoping my pregnancy days are over so I’m going to pass on this one :)

    • I’m over those pregnancy days, too, Dawn. It’s a shame because I didn’t properly prepare my pets AT ALL back in the day. I’d do so much better now thanks to Pinterest!

  21. Sometimes I have no words – this might be one of those times!!! The fact that someone took the time to write the book and then the fact that people might actually buy this thing totally baffles me!!

    • It baffles me how it took so long, Kim! I can’t believe these books have only been out for a few years. Our poor cats were just hearing bad news the hard way before then! Poor kitties!!

  22. See I knew I posted that thing on my page timeline on fb today for a reason. My cats, when I had them could have cared less about the baby. I can hear my mom and memaw now screaming don’t let the cat take the babies breath.. I kid you not…

    • OMG…I’ve heard of that one too, Angel!! I remember hearing that when I was pregnant. I had no idea it was a “thing”! Of course cats would want to take the baby’s breath–if they hadn’t been properly prepared! 😀

  23. Maybe if I had a book like this when I had my daughter, the one and only cat we had would not have pounced on her head when she was crawling around on the floor. Those cats eye’s kind of creep me out! Another reason I dislike cats.

    • Yep! I bet that cat would have been sweet to your daughter if you’d been able to prepare him properly back in the day! What a shame!! :)

  24. This is just too much! We loved our kitty, but there was no need to “tell” her anything…as soon as my hormones started surging she cut me off! Maybe we needed to start playing the screaming sounds early so she could start getting ornery even before the first baby arrived!

  25. I’m wondering if they have a companion book “Tell Your Cat the Grandkids Are Coming to Visit”. My current method leaves Jeffrey upset and angry and very much like the first kitty pic. He really needs to look more like the second kitty pic and welcome the children into his life. Or maybe I could just purchase this book and use the audio on a continual basis. I’m sure it would help him adjust and not result in a kitty heart attack.

    • Bahahahaha. I am laughing so hard I can hardly stand it. I can just see poor, handsome Jeffrey when the grandkids come to visit! His nerves are frayed!! I think playing the screaming continually is exactly what is called for. You are so wise!! 😀

    • Hahahaha! Thanks, Crystal!
      And you are right! If you look at the reviews on Amazon, there are people who swear by the book! 😀

  26. I’m a little frightened. I want in on the publishing world and if this is what’s hot right now, I might be in trouble. I didn’t even prepare Nico for the twins let alone prepare a pet. :)

    • Bwahahahahahaha! Oh, so true!! Thanks to this book, there are now cats better prepared for the new addition than our first borns were for their new siblings!! 😀

  27. I can’t believe things like this still surprise me, but they do. The term “fur baby” still makes me crazed. No matter how much you love your pet, you are not its mother (unless there’s been some highly illegal and gross activity in your past). Love them. Dote on them. But quit personifying them. Especially cats. As long as you feed the cat and scratch what it wants when it wants, your cat really doesn’t even care if you’re around. I promise. And if it can deal with the sound of the garbage disposal and construction and occasional jet fly-bys, it can deal with a baby crying.

    Seriously, over-thinking it a bit.

    • Aw, but Mr. Fancy Paws is delicate, Robin! His psyche is fragile. Are you *sure* he’d be okay and not traumatized by a new baby’s squeaky toys? 😀

    • But you do have dogs!! You might want to book mark this post just in case so you can find the dog version if you need it! 😀

    • Great minds think alike, Kristi! I was thinking exactly the same thing! We can’t let this wonderful book go to waste!! 😀

  28. That is hilarious. Like your cat hasn’t noticed the bowling ball in your belly or the fact that it gets kicked while sitting in your lap. LOL. I think actually animals are far more perceptive than we give them credit for, and I would bet anything they know that you’re pregnant without the sound effects. And even if they didn’t, this is still ridiculous. I can find way better ways to spend my money!

    • I think they are very perceptive, Michelle, that’s why they need to talk to them! We have to protect their delicate psyches. Plus, the cat might come up with some good names!!

    • One hundred four, Gracielle!! I kid you not! I can’t believe they were able to get all that info in there with so few pages either!! 😀

  29. L to the OL!!! That is insane. I wouldn’t do that for my dog (not really a cat person…). What a load of bull! If your cat is too dumb to notice a tiny, screaming baby, how would telling it you’re pregnant (without real proof) help anyway?

    • Oh, Tara! Please promise that you’ll at least CONSIDER the dog version of the book if the need arises! Better to play it safe than sorry!!

  30. This is crazy. I know there are crazy cat people out there, but this is too far. I really like your reporting on it. The pictures of the cat was hilarious. Cats don’t seem to care about anything so why would they care if you’re pregnant…I also can’t believe that they could write that many pages and come up with an audio cd for this.

    • I can’t believe they only chose 13 baby sounds to help the cat’s mental state! It seems like there should be at least a double album’s worth of audio to accompany a baby’s arrival. But they are the professionals. They must know what they are doing.

  31. What the heck? This is ridiculous…and what’s on the right side? The list of sounds…is it a CD or a suggested list of noises for you to make? Either way this is crazy.

    • The list on the right is the name of the tracks on the CD! Yes, for only an additional $8.99 you can purchase tracks like “Loud Crying”, “Screaming”, and “Grunts and Yawns”. What better way for your cat to prepare for the onslaught of the next 18 years! 😀

    • I was scared you might be trying to Rick Roll me, Catherine :D….but I trusted you and clicked…and OMG…I laughed so hard my dog jumped up. That video really does illustrate the differences in the two! I LOVE it! Bwahahahahahaha!!

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