Pinterest Nightmare #762: Don’t Drink When You Ink

You may have noticed we are posting our weekly Pinterest Nightmare a day early. (Unless you are reading this on Friday in which case…carry on. Nothing to see in this paragraph.)

It’s because WE ARE HEADED OUT OF TOWN ON A GIRLY GETAWAY WEEKEND trip to the beach with four of our best girlfriends!! Whoo Hoo!!

We cannot wait to escape the winter snowmageddon and have a three day weekend sleeping in as long as we want, eating out at places with no kiddie menu, and not wiping any butts that aren’t our own. Try not to be jealous.

One thing that has *not* happened on our Girly Weekends is someone coming home with a new tattoo. (Although it is not necessarily out of the question, especially with our friend Kim. She’s an undercover badass.)

Things got dicey the last time we took a look at all the tattoos Pinterest has to offer. Because this Girly Getaway is here (and because we wanted to make sure Kim has an array of options should we liqueur her up and take her to the tattoo parlor that we found in our Citipass coupon book), we decided to peruse Pinterest once again to bone up on the best ink options.

We found some new trends this time around…

Pinterest Nightmare #762a: The Tattoo That Shows You Used Your Head 

Gorilla Head Tattoo

As pinned from xaxor.com

This tattoo takes a full commitment to upkeep and a rather luxurious head of hair to pull off to perfection. It’s like the mullet of tattoos–all business up front where he might look like an accountant for all we know, but it’s a gorilla party in the back!

He’s young and will probably let his hair grow back in as he gets older. But what will he tell his wife and kids when he starts to lose his hair and his inner simian is slowly released back out into the wild? I’m not wishing male pattern baldness on the guy, but I’d like to see how his family takes it when that giant canine reemerges.

 

Eye In The Back Of Your Head Tattoo

As pinned from tattooanapikcah.blogspot.com

Of all the tattoos I have come across on Pinterest, this is the one I am most likely to get myself. What mom couldn’t use a set of eyes in the back of her head–especially if they come with perfectly done brows she never has to pluck?

 

Tongue Tattoo

As pinned from lolglobe.com

While this tattoo isn’t on her skull, the tongue is technically on the head, so it counts. Is this a maze…an homage to all the ramen noodles she ate in college     …or a rendering of her small intestines? I don’t know, but let’s not show this to Miley Cyrus, y’all.

But even if you’re not up for using your head as your canvas, don’t worry. You can go down a more erudite path and really give people something to think about…

Pinterest Nightmare #762b: The Tattoo That Makes You Ponder

Bikini Lady Tattoo

As pinned from humorgasms.com

Anyone can put a buxom beauty on his arm. It takes a really evolved male to refuse to perpetuate modern society’s unrealistic stereotype of the perfect female form and show off a *real* woman on his bicep instead. What a feminist!

 

Thug Life Hello Kitty Tattoo

As pinned from teamjimmyjoe.com

Although he’s obviously a Jungian scholar who is wrestling with and exploring the duality of man, this young thinker didn’t take the easy way out by going with a tattoo of the yin and yang symbol. No, not him. It’s not often you find a thug who also has a penchant for Hello Kitty. Wait a minute…Justin Bieber, is that you?

While a picture might be worth a thousand words, sometimes you only need a few of them to get your point across…

Pinterest Nightmare #762c: The Quotation Tattoo

Never Don't Give Up Tattoo

As pinned from therichest.com

Never don’t think about your tattoo before you get it.

 

Nolege Is Power Tattoo

As pinned from teamjimmyjoe.com

It is. It really is. Something tells me this guy didn’t watch a lot of Schoolhouse Rock growing up.

But once you’ve picked out *what* you want to immortalize on your body, remember *where* you put it can make all the difference…

Pinterest Nightmare #762d:  It’s All About The Placement Tattoo

Going with a scripture tattoo is a meaningful way to show your faith to everyone. It’s traditional yet cutting edge at the same time. Cool!

Bible Verse Tramp Stamp

As pinned from areatrendy.com

But I’m going to need a ruling on this one. Do we still call it a tramp stamp if it’s a Bible verse? Does the visible butt cleavage figure in at all?

It’s heartwarming when someone loves his grandmother enough to want her with him at all times. What better place to have her tribute than on his chest close to his heart? Aw! It’s so sweet!

Grandma And The Nipple Tattoo

As pinned from thesketchytank.com

Unless she inadvertently gets a Janet Jackson style wardrobe malfunction. How will Memaw ever face the girls at the garden club again?

You absolutely can’t go wrong with a pet tattoo. Who wouldn’t want a cute little kitty cat to keep them company forever? What could be more adorable?

Cat Anus Tattoo

As pinned from gudungisengblog.blogspot.com

GAH!! MY EYES, MY EYES!! BAD KITTY!!!

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

 

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #762: Don’t Drink When You Ink — 112 Comments

  1. You ladies have really outdone yourselves this time. I’m laughing, I’m crying – you know the nervous kind of cry b/c OMG, what the hell??? It’s a scary world out there! Thanks for safely brining it into my living room where I can laugh my a** off at it.
    Have a GREAT girls weekend!!!!

    • Bwahahaha!! A nervous kind of cry!! You are killing me! It’s a scary world indeed!! Any time you are looking someone in the face, if they turned around, there might just be a gorilla on the back of their head.

    • Aw, man!!! No we aren’t up to speed with our Glee yet!! Gah!! We’re going to have to binge watch those remaining episodes now!! 😀

  2. The bad kitty line had me rolling and seriously what would I do without you too and these Pinterest nightmares. Enjoy your getaway! So jealous and am in snowmageddon hell with more snow landing this weekend! Seriously have a great time and hope you share some pics on Instagram 🙂

    • You are so right, Nicole. Bad kitty doesn’t cover it. It should be stronger. Here goes: Bad BAD kitty! (Isn’t the coloring around the…um…bottom what makes it so heinous? (among all the other things of course).

  3. There is not enough liquor in Myrtle Beach to get me into a tattoo parlor. I am oddly fascinated by the kitty one. Makes me think of Josh, who is constantly playing with his belly button. Wondering what he could get tattooed around his belly button to make that more acceptable. Clearly, a cat’s ass is not the answer. Thoughts?

    • I don’t know, Kim…I’m thinking it will be hard to outdo the cat. Maybe it’s best to just stick with a sure thing.

      I’m also pretty sure you can pull off the head gorilla. Just think about it. You don’t have to decide yet. 😀

  4. First of all, WHY was I not invited to the beach. You know I would clean everything!

    The cat ass was my favorite. I’m going to get that one just as soon as I totally change personalities and decide I want a tattoo. I will probably have my clitoris pierced at that time, too.

    Have fun at the beach!

  5. First of all, HAVE THE BEST TIME AT YOUR GIRLY WEEKEND! Sorry for the all caps. You two deserve the best of the best. If the warm sun doesn’t heat your faces, let me know. I’ll do something about it.
    Um..the scripture one? Must have given the tattoo artist a real writer’s cramp.
    The gorilla one.. I laughed at the thought of male pattern balding releasing the simian into the world..slowly but surely.
    I sort of thought that he already did have a bald spot there and that’s why he got the tattoo! Wouldn’t that be clever for people if that were the case?

    • It would be clever…and also FANTASTIC!! (But don’t tell my husband I said that. He doesn’t have a ton of hair and I don’t want to give him any ideas!!)

    • Well that sounds very tame indeed! A cute little dolphin on your ankle will never get you on Pinterest!!! Come on…at least *consider* one like the cat.

  6. Are you coming to a beach in SC? I love Myrtle Beach the most. My Dad lives close to there too. I hope you have a great trip and getaway.

    These tattoos are definitely not something I’d want on my body.

    • We are, Crystal! We’ll be very near Myrtle Beach! It won’t be super warm, but we always have a BLAST!!!

      I don’t think I’d ever get one of these either…but the eyes in the back of the head might come in handy!

    • Thanks, Michelle!! It is my absolute dream to see a Pinterest Nightmare worthy tattoo with my own eyes. Can you imagine seeing that cat in PERSON?!? It would be awesome. Maybe one day.

  7. Have a great weekend, you deserve it! When you get back you should really do that disclosure warning about the dangers of drinking coffee while reading your posts…y’all it’s time. You crack me up. Now excuse me while I clean the coffee off my monitor……

    • Bwahahaha. Sorry Miranda! But you know I dream about that coffee brownie recipe of yours every night. If I weren’t so lazy, I’d be spooning chocolate ganache in my mouth right now. We’re even!!

    • I think I’d like to meet the gorilla head guy. You know he’s got to be fun….or insane. Either way it would be a trip!

    • I know it will not surprise you to know I love that show. But I hope nobody ever “fixes” that dude’s belly cat. It would be a crying shame. Memaw’s nip slip on the other hand…I hope they can make her respectable again!!

    • It’s the shading around the cat’s anus, isn’t it? It’s just so….lifelike. It hit me that way, too after I stopped laughing.

  8. OMG I’m dying. DY-ING. I will be sending you the bill for my new keyboard as this one is full of vomit from the photos and coffee that I spit out laughing at your commentary.
    Oh, and listen. I guess I missed the email invite to the beach. No prob! I’ll throw some things in my bag and just meet you there! Go ahead and order me a mai tai.

    • Thanks so much, Shashi! We are going to have a blast. And fingers crossed we can talk our friend Kim into some sort of tattoo. I’m voting for the eyes in the back of her head. I don’t think we can start her off with the cat.

    • You know, you make a good point. If you are comfortable enough to let your Hello Kitty flag fly, you are probably a pretty hardcore thug. Yup!

  9. Um. Wow. I’m not sure I know what to say. I’m laughing and crying (like sad crying) at the same time. I think I need to say a little prayer and hope that my kids never get any stupid ideas like these. Nolege is power!

    • OH…that must have HURT!! I’d think the inside of the lip would be sensitive! But sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. Show him the kitty cat!! 😀

  10. First, have fun on your getaway! 🙂 I’m totally jealous!!

    Second, I am scarred for life by those tatts, thankyouverymuch! I am trying to figure out how I can wash my eyes with bleach and not lose my eye sight. When I figure it out, I will let you know!

  11. Have fun on your trip. Please let us know next week how it went. These are all very horrible. The only positive thing is the bible verse tramp stamp will give her boyfriends something to read.

  12. OMG. The wardrobe malfunction Granny! I’m dying. And that tramp stamp. I’m thinking that it’s a bible verse doesn’t cancel out the skankiness. All she needed was a line saying “to learn more scroll down.”

    • Bwahahaha! Scroll down….

      The Granny gets me every time, Liz. She just looks so proper. You know she was totally scandalized if she ever saw it! 😀

    • Who could possibly resist taking a peak at the cat butt tattoo? If you see that tattoo, you are obligated to check it out!! Maybe someone could resist, but they would not be my kind of person.

    • Bwahahahaha. Really, if you are going to do the gorilla you might as well go all the way! I like the way you think! You know they say the third time’s the charm. Your third tattoo will be the one that goes right over the top!

  13. Oh dear god! That cat one is awful!!!!! I don’t know how people live with themselves when they realize what they’ve done to their bodies with these tattoos!!!

    • Something tells me they are thrilled with their work, Martha. I bet that cat guy takes every opportunity to take his shirt off possible!! Shirt off times are his favorite times of the day!! 😀

  14. I saw you in my inbox and I was all “WAIT!! IT’s NOT FRIDAY!!” My world is a little shaken with this change and my mind is BLOWN away at the fact that I WASN’T invited on your girls weekend getaway… pff. I will just sit here with my fleece and triple sock combo on and shiver in the muck of my 20 below bitterness….

    And LAUGH MY ASS OFF AT THIS POST!!!!!

    I seriously cannot BELIEVE some of these tattoos!! One of you MUST get one- this weekend. Come ON!! Do it for the girls back home… freezing in our bitterness…20 below…frozen tundra…all alone.

    • If there was any way in the WORLD to get you there Chris, you know we’d do it!!

      I’m thinking we can get our friend Kim talked into a tat at least by Saturday. If not, I may start working on Ashley so she’s ready for one by our Memorial Day trip later this year. Ashley is even thinking of getting a cat. It’s perfect. Fingers crossed!!

  15. Oh, I’m so excited about our girl’s weekend to the beach!!! Oh, wrong Kim…..
    Have a super time and don’t think at all about the people stuck in the middle of the country with over a foot of snow and negative temps!!
    OK – really have a great time!!! But for the love of all your kids – skip those the head tats! I’m a little creeped out by those!!!

    • We’ll agree to put off the head tattoos…for now. But only because we feel so bad about all you poor souls stuck in the snow. We don’t want to traumatize you any further. Once the snow melts, all bets are off though! 😀

    • We’ve got to get to a getaway with you, Ilene! We will ply you with olives and other veggies…and then slowly lead you to the tattoo artist. SQUEE!!

      On a totally serious note, how ADORABLE would your new logo look as a tattoo?! Would that not be the best?! It would be so cute!! 🙂

  16. First, soooooo jealous of your girly weekend. Second, the tongue and cat tattoos made me throw up a little bit. I love how the one has a bible verse AND a butt crack!

    • I know. It was the Bible verse above the butt crack that first caught my attention in my feed. You don’t see *that* every day!!

    • Aw, come on Amber! You won’t even *consider* these? I’ll have to find better ones next time then!! Challenge accepted! 😀

    • I don’t have any either, but everyone I know that has a tattoo gets a second one…and sometimes a third! That Thug Life one is fantastic, isn’t it?! He is authentic! 😀

  17. My stomach is still turning from the tongue tatoo. **shudders** I never really understood tattoos. Guess I still don’t. Have a great time at your getaway this weekend, and be sure to fill us in on all the debauchery!

    • We are looking forward to this trip SO MUCH. I am keeping my fingers crossed there is debauchery worth reporting back about! 😀

  18. I think they must have been drunk when getting some of those tattoos! What were some of them thinking? I laughed at the guy who has Hello Kitty and thug life tattoos!! Must not be that much of a thug. 😉

    • I do think alcohol might have greased the wheel for a few of these beauties, Jeanne! Thank goodness! I’m not sure I want to live in a world where that cat tattoo doesn’t exist! 😀

    • If you think too much about that tongue tattoo it will make your eyes water!! And then the cat tattoo will make your eyes water for totally different reasons! 😀

  19. This was so good my husband came over to see what I was laughing about! Oh, man… oh man… I don’t even know what’s my favorite. Probably the cat’s ass lol.

  20. This is so freaking hilariously-nauseating-scary-awful-made me cry.

    Thank goodness I have a SIL who will be there if my child ever decides to get inked. She’ll protect her from these choices!

  21. I hope you truly enjoy your well deserved weekend of sun and fun. Please drink responsibly and don’t get anywhere near a tattoo parlor. I’m begging all of you to be careful and not end up on Pinterest with a regrettable tattoo. On the tattoo commentary. I would never. Ever. Not even for a moment get a tattoo. However, my children all have tattoos. My brother has a bald head and he got a patriotic eagle tattooed on the back of his head. I wonder if anyone ever thinks that a tattoo is forever and they will have it on their body forever, even taking it to the grave with them? Oh well, it’s their body. God gave us free will. Some times I wonder if He forgot to give some people brains.

  22. These are amazing!!!! I don’t even know where to start! Thanks for making me laugh so hard I am choking on my granola bar! Have a great weekend getaway! 🙂

  23. Have a great time!

    Eek, these tattoos would make me scream. Literally.

    The eyes one? I guess he could tell his kids he has eyes on the back of his head. But still. Eek.

  24. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S, especially of the one with grandma showing some boobage! Horrible, horrible placement.
    It’s hard to think someone’s living the thug life with Hello Kitty on their chest.

  25. These are hilarious and horrible! The cat! The nipple! Did you notice, on the guy with Hello Kitty…the wolf/dragon has this horrified look on it’s face kinda saying “WTF, dude?” Just like we are.

  26. OMG! I didn’t think you could top Think Before You Ink, BUT YOU DID! The tattoo that makes you ponder is hopefully a poor adaptation of the real thing. Thug Life and Hello Kitty do NOT complement each other. You can’t read the entire bible PASSAGE without seeing a hint of butt crack. Grandma’s nipple is priceless and the cat’s butt crack takes the cake! Fabulous job, ladies. This made my day.

  27. Oh my god, I can’t stop laughing! Especially at the last two. There are some truly demented people in this world! And Mr. “Nolege is Power” appears to have had a nasty reaction to the whole tattoo thing. Or he has a really, really bad sunburn. You gals outdid yourselves with this one! Hope you had an awesome girls’ weekend! You’ve earned it!

  28. Thank you for making me laugh really hard. I so needed that! It’s not just that the tattoos are really bad – because they are REALLY bad tattoos. It’s your commentary that makes me laugh until my stomach hurts. And then I read it again and again because it’s just too funny!! My favorite was grandma with the nipslip tattoo. LOL

  29. No. Just NO! More and more it seems like I scroll Pinterest saying “why?” and that applies to the insane crafts as much as anything else! LOL

    I will now go and boil my eyeballs to remove that cat tattoo image from my memory. Thanks Dose Girls!

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