You may have noticed we are posting our weekly Pinterest Nightmare a day early. (Unless you are reading this on Friday in which case…carry on. Nothing to see in this paragraph.)
It’s because WE ARE HEADED OUT OF TOWN ON A GIRLY GETAWAY WEEKEND trip to the beach with four of our best girlfriends!! Whoo Hoo!!
We cannot wait to escape the winter snowmageddon and have a three day weekend sleeping in as long as we want, eating out at places with no kiddie menu, and not wiping any butts that aren’t our own. Try not to be jealous.
One thing that has *not* happened on our Girly Weekends is someone coming home with a new tattoo. (Although it is not necessarily out of the question, especially with our friend Kim. She’s an undercover badass.)
Things got dicey the last time we took a look at all the tattoos Pinterest has to offer. Because this Girly Getaway is here (and because we wanted to make sure Kim has an array of options should we liqueur her up and take her to the tattoo parlor that we found in our Citipass coupon book), we decided to peruse Pinterest once again to bone up on the best ink options.
We found some new trends this time around…
Pinterest Nightmare #762a: The Tattoo That Shows You Used Your Head
This tattoo takes a full commitment to upkeep and a rather luxurious head of hair to pull off to perfection. It’s like the mullet of tattoos–all business up front where he might look like an accountant for all we know, but it’s a gorilla party in the back!
He’s young and will probably let his hair grow back in as he gets older. But what will he tell his wife and kids when he starts to lose his hair and his inner simian is slowly released back out into the wild? I’m not wishing male pattern baldness on the guy, but I’d like to see how his family takes it when that giant canine reemerges.
Of all the tattoos I have come across on Pinterest, this is the one I am most likely to get myself. What mom couldn’t use a set of eyes in the back of her head–especially if they come with perfectly done brows she never has to pluck?
While this tattoo isn’t on her skull, the tongue is technically on the head, so it counts. Is this a maze…an homage to all the ramen noodles she ate in college …or a rendering of her small intestines? I don’t know, but let’s not show this to Miley Cyrus, y’all.
But even if you’re not up for using your head as your canvas, don’t worry. You can go down a more erudite path and really give people something to think about…
Pinterest Nightmare #762b: The Tattoo That Makes You Ponder
Anyone can put a buxom beauty on his arm. It takes a really evolved male to refuse to perpetuate modern society’s unrealistic stereotype of the perfect female form and show off a *real* woman on his bicep instead. What a feminist!
Although he’s obviously a Jungian scholar who is wrestling with and exploring the duality of man, this young thinker didn’t take the easy way out by going with a tattoo of the yin and yang symbol. No, not him. It’s not often you find a thug who also has a penchant for Hello Kitty. Wait a minute…Justin Bieber, is that you?
While a picture might be worth a thousand words, sometimes you only need a few of them to get your point across…
Pinterest Nightmare #762c: The Quotation Tattoo
Never don’t think about your tattoo before you get it.
It is. It really is. Something tells me this guy didn’t watch a lot of Schoolhouse Rock growing up.
But once you’ve picked out *what* you want to immortalize on your body, remember *where* you put it can make all the difference…
Pinterest Nightmare #762d: It’s All About The Placement Tattoo
Going with a scripture tattoo is a meaningful way to show your faith to everyone. It’s traditional yet cutting edge at the same time. Cool!
But I’m going to need a ruling on this one. Do we still call it a tramp stamp if it’s a Bible verse? Does the visible butt cleavage figure in at all?
It’s heartwarming when someone loves his grandmother enough to want her with him at all times. What better place to have her tribute than on his chest close to his heart? Aw! It’s so sweet!
Unless she inadvertently gets a Janet Jackson style wardrobe malfunction. How will Memaw ever face the girls at the garden club again?
You absolutely can’t go wrong with a pet tattoo. Who wouldn’t want a cute little kitty cat to keep them company forever? What could be more adorable?
GAH!! MY EYES, MY EYES!! BAD KITTY!!!
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.