Love is in the air here at The Dose of Reality.
No, this post is not “upcycled” from Valentine’s Day. (Although I wouldn’t put it past us.)
No, it’s not because our bloodstreams were flooded with endorphins when we realized we’ll be eating chocolate from our children’s Easter baskets in just a few days. (Although…YAY!)
It’s because next week I will celebrate my 20th anniversary with my husband, Robert. THAT’S RIGHT…2-0…TWENTY!
You might ask how I could possibly be celebrating my 20th anniversary when, according to Lucy, I only *just* celebrated my 26th birthday this week? I am a marvel! (And now you know why Lucy is my favorite child.)
But alas…it really has been twenty years of matrimonial bliss! I’m completely sure my husband would confirm how marvelous it is to be married to me—if he ever read the blog. As it stands, you’re just going to have to take my word for it that he feels like he’s walking on clouds every day.
As I was searching Pinterest for anniversary gifts, I ran across this fantastic pin that really speaks to the heart of love and marriage…
Pinterest Nightmare #320: The Remember Ring
This symbol of forever love is the Remember Ring. On the outside, it looks like an average wedding band. But on the inside, it packs the punch of a small furnace. Thanks to its patented “hot spot” technology, the day before your anniversary this ring gradually heats up to 120 degrees for 10 seconds every hour on the hour making it impossible to forget your special day!
Who knew that the CIA operatives fired for their “enhanced interrogation techniques” all found second careers as wedding planners?! GENIUS!
The Remember Ring comes in seven styles with three different finishes and is available exclusively for men. Why don’t they make women’s rings, too?
That’s a good one!
Now, you might wonder why they didn’t simply install a vibrating feature or audio chime into the ring instead of having it broil the skin. Oh, please! Do you think a little buzz or chirp is enough to entice a man to voluntarily walk into a Hallmark store or dial 1-800-FLOWERS? No way! It takes the mind-numbing pain of a scorching to accomplish that.
And really, ask any man which torture he’d rather endure– a little seared epidermis or facing his wife when he’s forgotten his anniversary (again)? Blisters heal in a few weeks, but an angry spouse can last a lifetime. It’s a no brainer.
So, if you prefer marital harmony over an uncharred digit, the Remember Ring is for you!
In the immortal words of Nazareth…
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.