Pinterest Nightmare #735: Solafeet Portable Foot Tanner

We’re smack dab in the middle of summer!

When summer rolls around, we here at The Dose of Reality always try to kick it up a notch in the beauty department.

  • We switch out all of our regular yoga pants for capri length yoga pants, and we only pair them with t-shirts bearing pastel stains.
  • We try to remember to shave our legs at least twice a month.
  • We alternate our hairdo between a sassy, high ponytail secured with a scrunchie and its more sophisticated counterpart: hair held up in a banana clip.
  • We’ve even considered getting a PedEgg to file down our thickest heel calluses.

 

Yes, we are extremely dedicated to summertime beauty.

You know where the Dose Girls look when we need something to help us achieve our ultimate summer beauty potential– PINTEREST!

We were delighted by what we found this week…

Pinterest Nightmare #735: Solafeet Portable Foot Tanner

Solafeet Portable Foot Tanner

As pinned by solafeet.com

No, that’s not Superman stuck in a box of kryptonite. You are seeing the miracle of foot tanning underway thanks to the Solafeet Portable Foot Tanner!

You know how you always spend your summer fretting that your feet aren’t quite tan enough? Me, too!

Well, thanks to the Solafeet Portable Tanner, no longer will we have to hide our hideous pale feet in shame! Now we can bake them to crispy perfection in their own little portable box of UV bombardment!

Look out cankles! Your days of unsightly tan lines are over!

I know, I know. Scaredy cat dermatologists are always harping that “sun exposure is bad” and “UV rays are dangerous”. Blah Blah Blah. What are we supposed to do…apply sunscreen, wear sensible clothes, and stay out of the sun during the peak hours of 10 am and 4 pm? Pffft. What’s a little squamous cell carcinoma when you are going after a perfectly bronzed instep?!

Would you rather be tumor free or have the confidence that only perfectly pigmented paws can provide?

Louise P. from Fort Worth, Texas answers that question on the Solafeet website.

“I love hearing my friends talk about my tan feet.”

Who doesn’t, Louise? Who doesn’t?

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.

 

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #735: Solafeet Portable Foot Tanner — 36 Comments

  1. So if that’s the only part of you that tans, won’t it just look like you’re wearing tan shoes? I kind of appreciate the subtle creep factor.

  2. I guess you need this if you get that sandbox for the desk you had a couple weeks ago, gotta be tan at the (fake) beach.

  3. I am without words. I am waiting for the self-tanning shirt and shorts and unmentionables now. I mean, if we’re going to get rid of sock lines, we need to get rid of *all* lines, amiright? Just…yah, there is no end of vanity in this world that leads to utterly ridiculous inventions. *shaking my head*

  4. “I love hearing my friends talk about my tan feet.” HAHAHAH.

    What happens if I put my face on that thing? Or my butt! Can I finally have sexy-tanned ass cheeks? These are the important questions I need answered. Please advise.

  5. I think I might get fired if I brought this in to work and stuck it under my desk. My desk faces out and I think people wouldn’t know what to make of the eery light radiating from below. I have honestly never heard of pale feet being an issue!

  6. HAHA! I’ve been worried lately that my friends mock my pale feet, and somehow ignore my hideously pale legs.
    Oh well. Pinterest to the rescue!

  7. Umm…only the feet get tanned? I like to be tan because everyone knows that tan fat looks better than white fat and my feet have zero fat so why do they need tanned?!

  8. I’m so glad someone finally figured out how to make the most out of my time in the cubicle! I’ve been DYING to minimize those blue veins in my feet – this oversized, empty kleenex box will absolutely do the trick! Thanks, Pinterest!

  9. The tan I could care less about but I’m so wondering if it would keep me toasty warm.

    But what happens when your feet are darker than the rest of your legs. Won’t they just look dirty?

  10. I am laughing SO HARD right now!! Once again- this would be so wrong and pretty funny just alone without any post.

    But it’s YOU GIRLS THAT MAKE IT DOWN RIGHT HILARIOUS!!! Oh how I can’t get enough of your humor!!!!!

    “Would you rather be tumor free or have the confidence that only perfectly pigmented paws can provide?” Just one of the MANY lines that made me choke on my coffee this morning.

    Damn I love you.

  11. I always loved it when my feet got tan and my husband kept telling me how dirty my feet look. Now I can look filthy year round. Who comes up with this stuff?

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