Everyone, we have a MAJOR announcement. We honestly can’t even stop squeeing long enough to write a whole new post about it, so we are sharing what (at the time) we believed was the single greatest thing that could happen in 2014. Turns out we were wrong. There was something even greater coming our way.
When we were on vacation, we were contacted by our friend Catherine who knew that we might have missed this very important news. And she was right. We had.
See, ever since our failed Arie as the next Bachelor campaign of 2013 (oh yes, we were TRAILBLAZERS), we have been boycotting the show. Take that Mike Fleiss. As two people who have previously watched every.single.season of The Bachelor (including the horrible Ben Flapjack and boring DeAnna seasons), we were the epitome of loyal viewers. But no more. Mike Fleiss broke us. Hope you are happy Mike.
However, the skies have opened again, because (seriously, sit down y’all), drum roll please…
ARIE IS ONE OF THE FINAL TWO POSSIBILITIES TO BE THE NEXT BACHELOR!!!
WE KNOW. It is almost too much to take in, right? But it is true.
And today, while sharing our exclusive interview with Arie himself, we are asking for your help. Mike Fleiss is at this very moment sitting with his minions making the final decision. Surely Dose Nation can sway him *this* time, right?
As promised, if Arie is chosen to be the next Bachelor, we will do our first VLOG and re-cap every single episode of his season. Oh yes, we will.
So, get your Twitter fingers ready, because we are providing you some sample tweets at the end of this post to share with the world. And also, revealing something very personal that we did that has never been shared publicly.
We *LOVE* this month.
Is it the never-ending cold? Is it the string of 101 back-to-back snow days where we’re all trapped inside with hours of togetherness?
It’s because it’s “Febru-Arie”– a month so special it is named after our favorite reality TV superstar.
(Bet you thought we were going to put the kissing video here. Ha! No way. We’re totally doing that at the end.)
During a very important blog meeting where we read Entertainment Weekly’s excellent interview with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler aloud in Starbucks (Totally legit blog work, y’all), we came to a realization…
Ashley: Why don’t we ever get to interview celebrities?
Lisa: I think it’s because we don’t know any celebrities.
Ashley: That seems really unfair and arbitrary.
Lisa: Well, it could also be that we’ve never asked a celebrity for an interview.
Ashley: You can’t just do that…just ask them!
Lisa: Why not?
Ashley: That’s not how it’s done.
Lisa: I bet it is. Let’s do it! OMG…do you know what would be the best thing EVER? Let’s ask Arie! He follows us on Twitter so if we tweeted him about 500 times surely he’d eventually respond, right?
Ashley: Or block us…but we’ve got to go for it.
And so we DID!
After only 23 tweets in which we tagged and hashtagged him relentlessly and several direct messages, he agreed! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
Obviously he was wildly enthusiastic about the idea!
Now, we offered to do our interview via Skype in which we suggested he attend the interview shirtless. (You see, we’ve never done a celebrity interview before and we’ve been told that it helps if you can visualize your audience is in his underwear)
Unfortunately, Arie’s schedule (and the pesky restraining order) didn’t allow for our Skype session, but he did agree to answer some email questions for us. (But we’re relatively sure that he was shirtless when he answered them).
Here are our probing questions, his answers, and our reactions to them.
Q: Obviously Febru-Arie is our favorite month. We celebrate by photoshopping your head into various pictures with us. How do you commemorate this magical time of year?
Arie: I think the best thing to realize is that chocolate and wine make everything better. Make sure to commemorate FebruArie by consuming these on a nightly basis!
Well if Arie says we have to, we have to! Weight Watchers be damned! On it!
Q: What is your favorite blog? Is it The Dose of Reality or is it our blog, The Dose of Reality? Please elaborate.
Arie: Haha! Well I do appreciate your commitment. I think all of America should get on your level. It would be a better place!
OMG…did he just propose to us? Did he just says he wants a commitment with us? We sort of blacked out and everything just went foggy.
Q: We made a “Flat Arie” and we carry him everywhere. If we made a Flat Lisa and Flat Ashley and mailed them to you, what kind of selfie would you take with them?
Arie: How’s the racetrack? Could you handle the speed?
Q: As you may know, we are both in the medical field so this question is strictly professional. Since you have been scientifically proven to be the best kisser in the Western Hemisphere, how do you keep the four muscles comprising your obricularis oris in shape?
Arie: Practice…practice makes perfect.
Arie: Meggings all the way…I mean, I think I already saw Juan Pablo rocking them?
Now, we bet that some of you reading this probably think we have made up this interview.
Nope! These were actual Arie’s actual answers!! For reals you guys!!
So thank you, Arie, for having a few words with us and for being the subject of our first ever celebrity interview! You’ve totally made our dreams come true. There will be no living with us now!!
As promised above, here are a few sample tweets for you to use to let Mike Fleiss know just how important this cause is to the world. Remember, Twitter moves fast so tweet often. Like 500,000 times if possible. Or until your boss tells you to get back to work.
Are you ready for our secret confession (complete with photographic proof)? We were so sure our campaign for Arie was going to be successful that we submitted Ashley’s sister for the show last fall. Laura, if you are reading this, surprise! We crafted a letter that told the producers that she would *only* do the show if Arie was chosen. And then we included this very special picture, which is being revealed for the first time ever publicly right here on The Dose of Reality.
And no, Dose peeps, we’d never forget to include this…