We honestly thought after two years of this going around that perhaps we would be off the hook this year, but nope. Here we go again. The #30DaysOfGratitude meme has begun in earnest on our Facebook feeds. Excuse us while we heave onto our keyboards with all of the platitudes we are reading posing as status updates.
Yes, yes…we’ve kept gratitude journals and we like to look on the bright side too, but come on people! You don’t fool us!! We actually KNOW you!! We can hear you complaining in carpool line that you had to stay up until midnight helping your 3rd grader finish her diorama. We saw you at Target enraged because they ran out of 48 count Zip Lock Heavy Duty Gallon Sized Bags just when you are trying to pre-bake your pumpkin spice cookies. This is a stressful time of year. It’s okay if you let it out.
We are proposing a new meme idea this year for those of us with less than perfect attitudes. We’ll call it #29DaysOfComplaining (Even we can manage being thankful on Thanksgiving). It will take the pressure off those of us who find it difficult to craft 30 idyllic FB statuses (statisi?) in a row, and it will make the grateful people feel even more happy they are living better lives than us. Everybody wins!
Nov. 1st: The children are fighting over ownership of the full-sized Snickers that one of them received trick or treating. Imagine how irked they will be when they discover I already ate it. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 2nd: Showed up for church an hour early thanks to the time change and there was hardly any free space on the bulletin to play tic-tac-toe while we waited. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 3rd: I accidentally bought decaf coffee at the grocery. I’m drinking DECAF COFFEE ON A MONDAY. I may not survive. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 4th: A robocall awoke me at 6:01 a.m. reminding me that today is election day, as if the non-stop attack ads weren’t enough. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 5th: My jeans shrunk 2 sizes. Thanks a lot Halloween candy. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 6th: Annual dental appointment scheduled for today. Can I cram 6 months of flossing into the next 5 hours? #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 7th: TGIF…or I would feel that way if my alarm had gone off this morning. Instead we all had 5 minutes to get ready. Who needs a shower anyway (except me)? #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 8th: I seem to be the only person in this house who knows how to operate the dishwasher. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 9th: Was really looking forward to watching “The Good Wife” tonight. Too bad my cable went out. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 10th: Middle schooler forgot to have me sign her homework folder for the week. She registered an 11 on the hysteria meter. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 11th: No, I don’t know where YOUR tennis shoes are and no, you cannot wear swim shoes to school instead. #29DaysOfComplaining.
Nov. 12th: On 5th time in a row of listening to “3 Blind Mice” on the recorder. Whoever invented this instrument did not have children. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 13th: Husband is at a fancy business dinner eating steak. I just ate the kids’ leftover mac-n-cheese cold. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 14th: Why can’t people just RSVP yes or no for a party? Is it really *that* hard? Evite already told me you’ve opened the invitation 8 times. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 15th: “Slept in” until 8:00 a.m. Remember when “sleeping in” didn’t require the use of air quotes. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 16th: Family pictures today. The teenager just popped the zit on his chin and the preteen is wearing two different socks, I think on purpose. Hold me now. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 17th: Common core math or lattice method or whatever they call it these days is of the devil. It’s physically impossible for anyone over 12 to understand. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 18th: Who let the dog out? No REALLY, who let the dog out as she is now running through the entire neighborhood while I chase her. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 19th: Homework tonight involves making a turkey puppet and then putting it in a disguise. It was suggested that glitter should be used. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 20th: Asked hubby to bring home bread and milk. He forgot the milk, but did manage to purchase 4 different varieties of CheezIts. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 21st: Cleared the calendar to play hooky with my fellow Dose Girl to see a movie today. As we were leaving, the school nurse called me to pick up my child. It might be lice. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 22nd: Suggested to my family that we get a head start on cleaning for company coming next week. Everyone started crying, including me. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 23rd: Really glad the grocery store was so lightly staffed on a Sunday afternoon after church. I love standing in line for an hour with my kids. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 24th: So glad the school decided to hold an assembly today requiring my presence. It’s not like I had anything else to do 3 days before Thanksgiving. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 25th: How did I manage to forget to buy rolls? It’s the only Thanksgiving food my kids will actually eat. I’m off to the grocery store…again. *sob* #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 26th: Forgot to thaw the turkey. Now I’ve got to sit it out on the counter or there’s no way it will thaw in time. Hope nobody gets ptomaine tomorrow. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 27th: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! We are celebrating the day surrounded by our loving friends and family. We are truly blessed in so many ways. Hope your day is filled with joy and love. #TrulyGrateful
Nov. 28th: Really y’all? Really? That flat screen TV was honestly worth trampling people? Weren’t we all grateful just 12 hours ago? #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 29th: So much for all the leftover turkey sandwiches. My hubby forgot to put the turkey away last night. Thanks, honey. #29DaysOfComplaining
Nov. 30th: Let’s decorate for Christmas today, they said. It will be fun, they said. Yep, it’s all fun and games until you take a mistletoe sprig to the cornea. #29DaysOfComplaining
So feel free to get it out of your systems, folks. We won’t judge you! It’s all good…or if it’s not, feel free to complain about it!