Oops, I Did It Again

This post first ran in two years ago in 2012. The reason we are re-running it is that I did it again…but this time in the reverse fashion. I just told someone today that I was 48. I wholeheartedly believed myself and was flattered they thought I looked young for my age. So flattered, in fact, that it really feels like a shame that it turns out I am only 46. I clearly have a mental block about my age. You’ll see what I mean when you read what happened last time…

I’m 43. I’m *totally* fine with that.

No, really…I am. I am one of those women who just doesn’t think much about aging. I didn’t bat an eye when I turned 30 or have a existential crisis at 35. I didn’t even feel like I’d passed a particular milestone when I turned 40. It didn’t phase me a bit. I’m just one of those lucky people who is just not hung up on aging. That’s what I thought until:

Robert, Lucy, and I were driving to Bobby’s football game. Robert asked me if my ankle hurt because he wanted to know if it was going to rain. (Okay, I guess I should interject here that I KNOW that it’s supposed to be only the very old who can tell the weather by their various aches and pains. I always envision a granny rocking on the front porch doing this. But….I broke my ankle a few years back, and I can do it too, despite the fact that I’m only 43. My ankle is actually more accurate at predicting rain than the Acuvue Radar of the local TV station). I told him we were in the clear the next 12-24 hours.

Here’s where it turned dicey for me. I added, “You’re lucky you have a wife who can predict weather for you even though she’s only 43. Most husbands have to wait until their wives are really old for that!”

Robert: Yes, it’s really helpful…but you’re 44.

Me (confidently): No, honey. I’m only 43. I’m not going to be 44 until April.

Robert (wearing a confused expression which indicated he wasn’t sure if I was serious or not—a look I’ve seen many times in our 18 year marriage): Lisa, you’re 44. You’ll be 45 on your next birthday.

Okay…what the hell was going on here? I DO NOT have a thing about age, but this was starting to really tick me off. Plus, by this time he was wearing a stupid bemused grin and looking like he was about to laugh. I’d had enough. I began ticking off the decades on my fingers.

Me: Okay, I was born in 1968 so…’78…’88…’98…2008 (that’s 40 so I began ticking off single years)….2009, 2010, 2011, OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING?????

At this point, I was starting to feel distressed. Robert had a point that the math was working out to make it *seem* like I was 44, but I wasn’t falling for that. I mean, you can use statistics to prove any point you want and THAT is math. So, I turned to Lucy in the back seat. She had her headphones on listening to JB (that’s Justin Bieber for the uninitiated) and hadn’t heard a word we’d been saying.

Me: Lucy, how old am I?

Lucy: Um…you’re 44.

This was getting serious. I was 43, and I KNEW it. Robert probably caught her eye in the rear view mirror and mouthed that answer to her. Lucy loves a good joke. So I did the most logical thing I could think of next. I pulled out my phone and called Ashley. She’d never try to trick me into believing I was a year older than I was. She had my back. I was 100% certain of this.

Ashley: Aren’t you supposed to be at the football game?

Me: We’re almost there. I have a quick question.  How old am I?

Ashley (without a moment of hesitation): You’re 44.

Me: OMG…WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE?

Ashley: Oh, um….because I thought you knew?

Well, that did it. I was definitely 44. FORTY FOUR. Now I have nothing against 44. It’s not a bad age at all. It’s just that I was 43 only a few minutes ago, and now I’m suddenly a whole year older, and it isn’t even my birthday. That’s just HARSH.

As I sat in the bleachers I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Just a few hours ago I was 43 which is practically the same thing as being 40. You’re just barely scratching the surface of your 40s, after all. But now suddenly I was going to be 45 on my next birthday which is practically like being 50. That’s almost old enough to get yourself on the AARP mailing list. So, despite the fact that age doesn’t mean a thing to me, I thought about it all the way home, too. I could hardly even concentrate on my reality TV shows that evening after the kids went to bed. Was I was one of those people who got upset about aging now?

I was still feeling a little out of sorts about the whole thing when I got on the elliptical machine the next morning. I dutifully pressed the start button and waited for the prompts. (You know, the elliptical asks you questions so it can calculate your perfect heart rate and keep you working out in the aerobic zone).

THEN THE BEST THING HAPPENED!!

 

 

 

My elliptical asked me for my age…just like it always does.

 

 

 

Suddenly, I felt my spirits lift. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, DON’T YOU?  All this time I’d been entering 43 for my age and my elliptical had been dutifully calculating and keeping me working out so my heart rate would be in the right range for a 43 year old. BUT I AM 44!!!!  A 44 year old heart shouldn’t be working out to the exhausting standards of a 43 year old heart! You guys, I’ve been totally overworking myself!!! I need to be taking it down a notch! SCORE! This was just the incentive boost I needed to embrace my non-birthday related advancing age.

I’m 44. It turns out I’m *totally* fine with that after all!

 

 


Comments

Oops, I Did It Again — 73 Comments

  1. I LoLed last time and again this time. You are too funny.

    I have to recalculate my age all the time! Why can’t I remember?

    I have a different birthday crisis. I love even numbers but I was born on an even year in November. So if the year is even like this year, I spend 10 whole months with an odd numbered age (for example: I just turned 32 this week, meaning I suffered through the majority of this glorious year as an odd 31 year old.)
    And even though it’s even now, in just a few months the year will change to an odd year, and even my age can’t console me. And when November rolls around I will be an odd number in an odd year. You see my plight?! Only 2 months of number happiness every 2 years!! At least 2 is even.

    That was long…. Anyway, very funny! Enjoy your even age while you can!

    • The great thing about being bad at remembering your age is that you can enjoy each age multiple times! I enjoyed being 48 for about two hours. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it when I do turn 48. I liked 43 so much, I decided to keep it for 2 years!! I only had to be 44 for a few months! It’s very freeing!

    • This is so true!! Those milestone 10s and 5s are so much easier to remember! The rest seem to just sort of fade into the background. Or maybe I just need to start some ginkgo biloba.

  2. I was laughing so hard I was crying not at your expense, but because I loved how you blocked out your age here. One question can you teach me how to do this as the closer I get to 40 now the more I wish I could forget!! 😉

    • It would be okay to laugh *at* my expense, Janine. I deserve it!

      The good thing about approaching 40…your memory naturally declines making it much easier to forget how old you are and to be any age you want. It’s the perfect combination!

  3. I added a year to my age once and told everyone I was 29 when I was only 28. More recently, I’ve spent the past year telling everyone my oldest was 21. He turns 23 this month. It’s a good thing I’ve changed jobs or everyone would be wondering how he got two years older in one year.

    • I am so glad I am not alone, Vanessa! I’ve done the same thing with the kids as they’ve gotten older, too. (I’d never tell them that, though. What almost 15 year old wants to know his mom just told someone he was 13? He would be horrified!)

    • You stick with what works, Kita! I love your commitment to 21! 😀 You are lucky your kids think you are 12. When my were smaller they always estimated my age to be in my 60s. Blergh!

  4. I never noticed or cared about age either. Until I turned 46. I mean that is definitely on the 50 side of the 40s! I never thought about the cardio machine advantage! Thanks for the tip! Now I feel like 47 will be a gift…at the gym anyway! 😉

    • It’s hard when you realize you are on the 50 side of your 40s because that just seems like you are official getting O.L.D. But there’s always a bright side…and cardio equipment is it! We’ve got to take our wins where we find them! 😀

  5. Haha! I lose track of how old I am too. Someone asked me how old I was and I actually had to pause and think. I like to say I’m 29 though, just to see if people will believe me. I tell kids I’m 29. They believe. Adults? Not so much. (Although a child was like, “You can’t be 29. You got them grays in your hair!”)

    • Hahahahahahaha! Those grays are always such a giveaway!! Darn them! I think my problem is that I don’t pause to think about how old I am. I just sort of blurt out whatever feels right at the moment. Didn’t sleep well and tired…I’m 48. Ran up and down the stairs without feeling winded…totally a spry 43!

  6. Do not feel the least bit bad. I am 44. I forget all the time. I have to either remember how old my twin sisters are who are 11 years older than I,or I have to ask my husband how old he is and subtract 2.

    • Bwahahahaha! I love that! I am two years OLDER than my husband so I could do this trick in reverse…if HE can remember how old HE is!! 😀

    • Even I have never gotten it 11 years off…but if you are going to, that’s TOTALLY 11 years in the right direction!! You *look* like you could be 26, so at least it was believable!!

  7. OMG I love this!!! I always tend to freak out over my sisters birthdays because I will think, gosh, how can they be, 40 something when I am that age? I had a funny thing happen last week, my sister called me a day before my 49th birthday to tell me that she and my other sister were completely freaked out over what they were getting me for my 50th birthday and couldn’t understand why my parents or husband didn’t have anything planned for me. My brother-in-law overheard them and called out to them, Your sister is only 49 this year! Lol!!! I loved 47, enjoy!

    • I love that your brother-in-law was keeping track better than your sisters! That’s adorbs! Hahahahaha. I wish nobody had told them and then you would have gotten TWO rocking 50th birthday presents from your sisters! 😀

  8. HAHAHAHA – “It’s just that I was 43 only a few minutes ago, and now I’m suddenly a whole year older, and it isn’t even my birthday. That’s just HARSH” Oh my – you ladies crack me up – made my morning!
    The way I see it is – if your elliptical had been doling out workouts for a 43 year old – then you are as healthy as a 43 year old – nothing else matters…not even that drivers license or birth certificate…tell ’em to take a ride on your elliptical!!!

    • You’ve got it. I have the body of a younger woman…maybe only younger by a few months, but it still counts!! 😀

  9. You just don’t know how many times I do that. Ironically, this year, my age is the same as my birth year – weird – but it does make me say “now is that my birth year or my age, and how the heck can it be the same?!!?” I’m *totally* okay with it, too! :)

    • Oh!! That *does* make it easier…at least for this year. Bobby’s age is *so* easy to remember. He was born in 2000, so his age will always be the year. How cool is that? Of course, he is GOOD at math so he doesn’t even need the help like I do. Figures!!

  10. You right there with you. “How old are you?” has become such a difficult question to answer. Rather like solving a math equation. If M is turning 21, the dog 4 and H is 20, how old was I when Mom last flew to Churchill?

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one, Liz! 40-esque is good enough once we reach that milestone. Precision is not required (or necessarily appreciated)

  11. Wii Fit also gives me an age sometimes. Sometimes it says I’m like 19 and other times, 70+! Yikes! I avoid it at all costs! LOL 😀 Truth, though? I’m ok with my actual age most days. 36 isn’t so bad. Age is just a number, right? :)

    • Bwahahahahahaha. I’d hate to find out how old Wii Fit would call me. I’m pretty sure it would think I’m well over 100…maybe low 80s on a good day. I think 36 is glorious, girl!!

  12. Girlfriend I am so bad that midway through any given year I start announcing that I am the next birthday’s age…I guess to prepare…but mostly because I think I have held up well for my age. If I am honest I have loved the way I have looked since my late 30’s because I was such an ugly duckling growing up! Or maybe I am just more self-confident…comfortable in my own skin. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be OLD but I am fine with 46!

    • Comfortable in your own skin is the only way to go! You rock! Age hasn’t ever really bothered me…but I was a little irked when recently my teenager COMPLETELY DIDN’T BELIEVE that I’m the same age as Jennifer Lopez. “But she’s so hot?!” Which makes me what, exactly? Really flattering, right? Thank goodness I have very tough (and old) skin!! 😀

    • Hahaha. I do it with the kids, too. I guess that’s not a surprise since I’ve already proven I am not to be trusted when it comes to age (or math).

  13. I don’t blame you at all Lisa. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with denial, in fact there are many good things about it.

  14. OMG I totally get this feeling. The other day I was so convinced I was 32 that I actually looked up my age on Google because I thought there is no way I am 33 (Even though counting back the years never lies). I was so convinced that I used an age calculator, and then got a little miffed that I AM ACTUALLY 33. When the heck did that happen?

    • YES!! That’s exactly what happened to me. I was SURE I was right…and I asked…and calculated…and sure enough…I really WAS 44. It was a shock to the system. WHAT??? It’s not that it’s so bad to be 44 (or 33 in your case), it’s just…we really thought we were younger. Harsh!!

  15. Best part of this whole thing was when you realized you had been working too hard on the elliptical!!! I almost fell off my chair laughing at that!!
    I used to always get confused with how old I was then I started my daily exercise thing – now I never forget the number:)

    • Now *you* have a foolproof system, Kim!! I admire that!! (and you KNOW how excited I was to be able to take it down a notch with the exercising! It’s the one great thing about aging if you ask me…well that and the senior discounts!)

  16. I had to re-read this post due to disbelieve, because I thought you were in your early-30’s. Surely you are attempting to deceive the masses with this 40’s mumbo-jumbo.

  17. Hilarious. I’m 28 and get confused about it all the time. I feel like I’ve been in my 30s for at least the past 3 years. Also, your counting up the decades sounds exactly like my trying to figure out my fitbit’s desire to murder me through starvation/overconsumption.

  18. Haha! I think I did that one time a year or two ago and the Husband had to remind me I was a little bit older than I remembered. But then again, I’ve been getting mail from the AARP since I was in my 20s. (true story)

    • I got a call this morning that started with a recorded “Hello Seniors!” from the AARP. I have to say I liked the political robocalls I got more. BLERGH!

  19. Hahahaa!! this is so funny! I have done this a couple times. I will admit I have had mini melt downs. One when I was 25 because I was sooooo close to 30. Then just before my 37th birthday. Well, time sure does fly!

  20. Hahaha!! This is great. I cannot remember my age and have to always do the math. My age just kind of seems unimportant the older I get, well except for when it comes to the elliptical. I’m right there with you on that one!

    • You know, that’s probably the problem. As we get older, age really doesn’t seem as important (unless you need to check a box on a survey)…except for the elliptical, of course!! 😀

  21. Hahahahaha I love this! and this one of the many reasons I don’t get along with math. I can’t figure out ages by year and I always think I’m younger than I am- a little while ago someone asked my age and i was like “I’m thirty” (they started talking) and i blurted out “ONE!” they were taken aback. I then muttered “I’m thirty-one” “ok” they said as they backed away slowly.

    • Bwahahahahahaha. I can totally see this conversation happening! 😀 Math is totally against us, Charlotte! We’re not crazy…it’s math!

  22. This is great! Sometimes I have to do the math in my head to calculate my age, too. For the longest time, I also never aged my brother in my mind (and he acts so young anyway). Then I realized that if I was getting older, he would be as well!

    • Oh…I know exactly what you mean! It’s so easy for siblings to stay frozen at a particular age in your mind! I feel the same way!!

  23. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh how I just LOVE that you don’t care one bit about your age!!! And I think I said this the last time you shared this story- I do the SAME. THING.

    I hope your workouts are SO much easier now… I mean what a difference a year makes, right?

    I’m impressed with Robert btw- Derek hardly knows WHEN anyone’s birthday even IS- 😉 I could totally get away with it- oh wait, no he would take the hard mental energy to do the math, because he LOVES to brag about being THREE years younger than I. I always say, back when I was a senior and he was a freshman, I wouldn’t have even given him eye contact.

    • See…I am 100% sure that Robert knows my age because he is always thrilled to announce that he is two years younger than I am. If I am making myself younger, it robs him of that pleasure! 😀
      I say the same thing to Robert about high school!! I didn’t realize we were both cougars! We were meant to be friends, Chris! :)

  24. I’m terrible at mental math (a bad trait for an accountant) so I also get confused about how old I am. It gets even worse when I can’t remember what month we are in so I’m not sure if I’ve had my birthday yet.

  25. I never understood why women get into such a panic about their age. My mom actually has my daughter telling people she is 23.I say to my.daughter” How.can granny be younger than mommy?” My.mom gets upset and says “Don’t tell her my real age”. My thing is if you’re going to lie about your age, make it believable

  26. This is so very funny :-) I never remember how old I am but my ex had a near-existential crisis every year…..and once he was freaking out about turning thirty….seriously stressing about it….when he had been thirty for eleven months already!! Loved this post.

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