As we were thinking about what we might put on the blog for today it dawned on us: We haven’t featured a Pinterest Nightmare in a long time.
As I thought about Pinterest, I realized I have been pinning a lot of great and useful things recently. There have been delicious recipes using less than 5 ingredients (only two of which must be special ordered!), essential articles on 52 ways to tie a scarf, and timely info on the use of gourds in my fall tablescapes.
I was a little bit nervous heading over to my computer to check it out. What if Pinterest has gone totally legit? *sob*
As I typed my favorite search terms into the box at the top (“weird”, “crazy”, “horrible”, “stupid”), I held my breath a little bit and pressed the enter key.
Before my eyes was a deluge of hideous products and ridiculous photos. It felt like Christmas morning! (or maybe like I accidentally took a Percocet left over from my surgery instead of Allegra this morning.) It was an embarrassment of riches!
Oh, Pinterest! I should have known you’d never let me down!
Because it was hard to pick just *one* nightmare this week, we’ve decided to bring you some of the best signs (of the apocalypse) found on Pinterest!
Pinterest Nightmare #755a: Signs That We Might Be Too Distracted
You might think the presence of the pole itself would be enough warning that a pole was there. You might even think it’s obvious you do not want to hit the pole. Amateurs! WRONG! Distracted drivers desperately trying to find the latest Taylor Swift single on Spotify make this sign a total necessity!
The doorway, knob, and hinges are really not enough clues that this door might open at some point, especially if you are walking around with your head hunched over a smart phone checking Instagram. Thanks for the heads-up, bro!
I can’t decide. Is this more for distracted walkers who don’t realize that hitting grass and barreling into shrubbery signifies the end of the sidewalk, or is someone at City Hall just a huge Shel Silverstein fan?
But not all signs are for the unobservant. Some signs lead me to believe someone, somewhere just got hit with a lawsuit…
Pinterest Nightmare #755b: Signs That Someone Recently Retained Legal Counsel
There’s no denying it. Modern society is litigious. Sometimes it’s best to make sure you’ve got your bases covered.
I concede that most people instinctively open the box *before* eating their pizza (unless they are really lacking fiber in their diet). But until you’ve seen a scrum of hungry frat boys attack a stack of deep dish pies after finals, don’t discount the necessity of this warning.
How many times do you think this happened before someone broke down, located a Sharpie and electrical tape, and hung this sign? This happened enough times to warrant a sign, people. Let’s all sit and think about that…actually…let’s not.
I know we have to be careful so we don’t expose ourselves to legal liability, but it’s signs like this that prove lawyers take the fun out of everything! They want to take a simple stroll down a lovely pier and turn it into an activity to be feared! It’s like we’re taking our lives into our own hands if we want to enjoy a walk out over the water. Drama queens!
Sometimes a sign is helpful and informative, it just could have used a little more thought (or proofreading) before actually going to print…
Pinterest Nighmare #755c: Signs That Should Have Been Run By Management
While I appreciate their attempt to give me plenty of time to shop, I hope the extra two days they are giving me are a Saturday and Sunday. I’m going to balk at doubling up on Mondays, and don’t even try to slip an extra Thursday in there. (Who wants to bet that they also have a sign that says “Open 26 Hours A Day”?)
Oh, they were *this* close to giving us the perfect public safety campaign!
Everybody is not always welcome at every location. Sometimes you’ve got to put up a sign to make sure the wrong type doesn’t sneak in.
Pinterest Nightmare #755d: Signs To keep The Riff-Raff Out
Someone really, REALLY hates Vespas, don’t they?
This door is for members and non members only! Don’t even think about trying to get in if you are not a member or a non member. We hate to be so exclusionary, but we have to keep our standards up.
This is why the seagull is known as the Clint Eastwood of birds. “Yeah, I’m on the sign. What are you going to do about it? Go ahead, punk, make my day.”
Oh, Pinterest. No…just no. (Except for you, Mr. Seagull. Rock on with your bad self.)