Pinterest Nightmare #755: Sign Me Up!

As we were thinking about what we might put on the blog for today it dawned on us: We haven’t featured a Pinterest Nightmare in a long time.

As I thought about Pinterest, I realized I have been pinning a lot of great and useful things recently. There have been delicious recipes using less than 5 ingredients (only two of which must be special ordered!), essential articles on 52 ways to tie a scarf, and timely info on the use of gourds in my fall tablescapes.

OH, NO!!! Are there no longer beauties like the Uroclub to be found or even Meggings to keep us tossing and turning in our sleep? Is there not one questionable tattoo left to be photographed?

I was a little bit nervous heading over to my computer to check it out. What if Pinterest has gone totally legit? *sob*

As I typed my favorite search terms into the box at the top (“weird”, “crazy”, “horrible”, “stupid”), I held my breath a little bit and pressed the enter key.

Before my eyes was a deluge of hideous products and ridiculous photos. It felt like Christmas morning! (or maybe like I accidentally took a Percocet left over from my surgery instead of Allegra this morning.) It was an embarrassment of riches!

Oh, Pinterest! I should have known you’d never let me down!

Because it was hard to pick just *one* nightmare this week, we’ve decided to bring you some of the best signs (of the apocalypse) found on Pinterest!

HIT IT…

Pinterest Nightmare #755a: Signs That We Might Be Too Distracted

As pinned from collegehumor.com

You might think the presence of the pole itself would be enough warning that a pole was there. You might even think it’s obvious you do not want to hit the pole. Amateurs! WRONG! Distracted drivers desperately trying to find the latest Taylor Swift single on Spotify make this sign a total necessity!

 

As pinned from collegehumor.com

The doorway, knob, and hinges are really not enough clues that this door might open at some point, especially if you are walking around with your head hunched over a smart phone checking Instagram. Thanks for the heads-up, bro!

 

As pinned from collegehumor.com

I can’t decide.  Is this more for distracted walkers who don’t realize that hitting grass and barreling into shrubbery signifies the end of the sidewalk, or is someone at City Hall just a huge Shel Silverstein fan?

But not all signs are for the unobservant. Some signs lead me to believe someone, somewhere just got hit with a lawsuit…

Pinterest Nightmare #755b: Signs That Someone Recently Retained Legal Counsel

There’s no denying it. Modern society is litigious. Sometimes it’s best to make sure you’ve got your bases covered.

As pinned from collegehumor.com

I concede that most people instinctively open the box *before* eating their pizza (unless they are really lacking fiber in their diet). But until you’ve seen a scrum of hungry frat boys attack a stack of deep dish pies after finals, don’t discount the necessity of this warning.

 

As pinned from collegehumor.com

How many times do you think this happened before someone broke down, located a Sharpie and electrical tape, and hung this sign? This happened enough times to warrant a sign, people. Let’s all sit and think about that…actually…let’s not.

 

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As pinned from collegehumor.com

I know we have to be careful so we don’t expose ourselves to legal liability, but it’s signs like this that prove lawyers take the fun out of everything! They want to take a simple stroll down a lovely pier and turn it into an activity to be feared! It’s like we’re taking our lives into our own hands if we want to enjoy a walk out over the water. Drama queens!

Sometimes a sign is helpful and informative, it just could have used a little more thought (or proofreading) before actually going to print…

Pinterest Nighmare #755c: Signs That Should Have Been Run By Management 

As pinned from teamjimmyjoe.com

While I appreciate their attempt to give me plenty of time to shop, I hope the extra two days they are giving me are a Saturday and Sunday. I’m going to balk at doubling up on Mondays, and don’t even try to slip an extra Thursday in there. (Who wants to bet that they also have a sign that says “Open 26 Hours A Day”?)

 

As pinned from teamjimmyjoe.com

Oh, they were *this* close to giving us the perfect public safety campaign!

 

Everybody is not always welcome at every location. Sometimes you’ve got to put up a sign to make sure the wrong type doesn’t sneak in.

Pinterest Nightmare #755d: Signs To keep The Riff-Raff Out

As pinned from rainbeforerainbows.com

Someone really, REALLY hates Vespas, don’t they?

 

As pinned from uncoached.com

This door is for members and non members only! Don’t even think about trying to get in if you are not a member or a non member. We hate to be so exclusionary, but we have to keep our standards up.

 

As pinned from Huffingtonpost.com

This is why the seagull is known as the Clint Eastwood of birds. “Yeah, I’m on the sign. What are you going to do about it? Go ahead, punk, make my day.”

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no.  (Except for you, Mr. Seagull. Rock on with your bad self.)

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #755: Sign Me Up! — 51 Comments

  1. I love that seagull!

    My favorite sign was in a very swanky hotel/condo. “Please do not dip your butts in the toilet.” The (more accurate) Thai translation was “Please do not throw cigarette butts in the toilet.”

    Not really the same as these sillier signs, but I do love a lost in translation moment.

  2. Ok, all I have to say is thank you a million times over, because after the week I just had between Emma being so very sick and PTA school drama, I was so overdue and indeed for a good Pinterest nightmare laugh and you totally didn’t disappoint me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! :)

    • AW! I’m sorry it’s been such a rough week. I hope Emma is doing better! I’m glad Pinterest didn’t let us down!

    • It really does make you wonder how many complaints they got from people eating through the box (“Hey, your pizza is so pulpy!”) before they had that printed.

    • I’m with you Kita! Give me second Saturday and second Sunday and I’m fully on board with this grocery store! That texting and driving one is just amazing. It boggles the mind!!

  3. Yah, I just really got a nasty mental picture that I’ll never get rid of reading the urinal one, thankyouverymuch! *shivers in disgust* I will say, though, some signs make me wonder about the viability of the human race, and these are no exceptions! Good find, ladies, and thank you for the laughs…and shivers! 😀

    • Thank goodness for Pinterest! Otherwise how would we know that a door might open or that there are places Vespa owners dare not park?!

  4. I do thank you! I’m often confused as I go about my 24/9 life and you’ve got it all sorted for me. I’ll be super cautious about any closed doors, and shall not attend any more clubs – sadly I’m neither a member nor a nonmember – and I’ll OPEN the pizza boxes first. Oh! And this very second? I’ll stop texting while driv

    • Bwahahahahahaha. They really were *so close* to giving us a great public service message! If they’d only given it just a few more minutes of thought it could have been so informative. Right, Kelly?! Kelly…wait…are you there, Kelly? KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • So pitiful that they exist! Most people don’t go through the expense and irritation of printing and hanging a sign unless it had proven necessary. Blergh!

  5. Super funny! They are all good, but I like the seagull’s attitude. This was also an interesting behind-the-scenes look at creating your columns. Who knew you could get such good stuff by searching for wierd, crazy, horrible, and stupid? These signs must have been in the stupid category.

    • I co-sign the awesomeness of the seagull. He’s my kind of people. You are right! The signs were definitely products of “stupid”. I sometimes also thrown a “horrifying” (I think that got me meggings back in the day, if I remember correctly)

    • I love that one. And when you think about it…who is that sign for? I’m pretty sure the seagulls aren’t paying attention and it’s not like most of us bring our pet seagulls places. That actually makes it even better…or worse depending on how you look at it!

  6. Bwahahaha!! Oh this is great :) Well all except for the gum in the urinal one, nasty!! Your descriptions of the photo fails are equally hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh, oh and snorting a little of my drink through my nose. Luckily, no one was here to see it.

  7. I must just be tired today, because I couldn’t stop laughing at those signs! They cracked me up on a disproportional level. I think my favorite will always be the bird sitting on the “no birds” sign.

  8. I still love these Pinterest nightmares! I just can’t believe that there needs to be a sign about not eating gum out of urinals…eeeeeewwwww. I do love the bird, though.

  9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA – the sign for the texting, are you kidding me? I am dying over here. Shaking my head, shaking my head, shaking my head. Thanks for the laugh, as always!

  10. I often say I LOL, but that’s just being polite and indicating inner laughter. This one had my shoulders shaking w/ laughter. “I balk at doubling down on Monday.” Bwah. The signs themselves are hilarious but your commentary is too much!

  11. These are hilarious!!! I always loved the warning on the inside of those big sunshades you put in the front windshield of your car to keep the interior cooler during the hot summer months. They say, “Remove before driving.” You can’t even see through the windshield with them in place, but I’m guessing they saw a lawsuit in the future if they didn’t place that warning!

  12. Oh that bird sign made me laugh out loud! The members/non-members sign reminds me of a sign we saw in Portland for a restaurant that proclaimed that they had “Domestic & Foreign Cooking”. I’m not sure what is left after you have explored Domestic AND foreign cooking…

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