Pinterest Nightmare #585: Ho Ho…NO!

We all have that one person in our lives. She manages to survive the springtime months. She limps her way through the summer as best she can. But she truly COMES ALIVE the day after Thanksgiving…

She’s your official Christmas Enthusiast friend!

Sure, many people enjoy the holiday season, but a certified Christmas Enthusiast takes it to an entirely different level. She’s the one who gleefully freehand sculpts sugar cookie dough into unique snowflake patterns (no two are alike!) and dusts them with gourmet Chilean confectioners’ sugar she ground herself with a mortar and pestle. She has limitless holiday energy which she uses to deck out her house in more greenery than a temperate coniferous forest.

Want to know the best yuletide music to purchase? Your Christmas Enthusiast friend will happily school you on the relative merits of the Michael Bublé Christmas album vs Josh Grobin’s Noël as soon as she returns from the unveiling of this year’s Dillard’s Christmas Collectible Bear at the mall.

While we usually give our Christmas Enthusiast another piece to add to her Thomas Kinkade Illuminated Holiday Village, this year she told us she really wanted to add to her collection of Santa Claus paraphernalia.

Say no more! We know where to go for ideas when we have a special shopping mission…Pinterest of course!

Pinterest Nightmare #585a: Santa Claus Toilet Cover and Rug Set

Santa Claus Toilet Seat Cover

as pinned from ebay.com

Aw! What a cute way to spruce up the half bathroom! From his hat to his suit, it’s like Santa has taken up residence right there in your powder room! And just imagine, when you have to use the facilities you just lift the commode lid and it’s like you are going right in Santa’s…GAH!! YIKES! Okay…well, maybe this is better for a regular chair. Sure! Just place the lid cover on the seat and arrange the other items around it. Adorable! When you need to rest you just sit yourself  down on Santa’s…OH NO!

 

 

Let’s all sing a round of Jingle Bells to rid us of these mental images. Maybe we ought to move away from decor items and see what else Pinterest has to offer. Perhaps we can find something practical…

 

Pinterest Nightmare #585b: Santa Claus Drinking Hat

Santa Drinking Hat

as pinned from baronbob.com

 

It’s much easier to be a jolly old elf when you’re sporting a double-fisted drinking hat!! The model really captured the despair of having spent 3 1/2 hours assembling the Barbie Dream House only to realize you are one plastic, pink connector shy of a functional elevator. In situations like that you’ll be glad you have a few brewskis on hand…er…on your head.

 

 

 

But what if your friend is more into figurines than bold fashion statements? Not to worry! Pinterest has something perfect for everyone!

 

Pinterest Nightmare #585c: Santa Claus Refreshment Dispensers

Santa Candy and Drink Dispenser

as pinned from candyaddict.com & stupid.com

Who doesn’t want to enjoy a delicious refreshment straight from the big guy, himself? All you need to decide is if you are in the mood for a #1 or a #2, and Santa will take care of the rest! YUM!

 

But that’s not all the Santa-rific items Pinterest has to offer. Feast your eyes on…

 

Pinterest Nightmare #585d: Santa Claus Mankini

Santa Mankini Swimsuit

as pinned from boomcostumes.ie

 

 

YES! Just when you thought meggings were revealing, Pinterest brings us the Santa-fied bikini equivalent for men–the mankini! The Nutcracker isn’t just a ballet anymore, kids!

 

 

 

 

Although this isn’t the kind of stocking stuffer that Santa is known for, he can totally pull it off. Let’s just hope he reserves this outfit for his polar bear plunges and not for photo ops with the kids at the mall. That would get him fast tracked on the naughty list!

Oh, Pinterest. No…just no!

 

 


Comments

Pinterest Nightmare #585: Ho Ho…NO! — 110 Comments

    • The bathroom set has…issues…doesn’t it? POOR SANTA! Santa would definitely have reason to put coal in your stocking if you use that thing!!

  1. Oh there must have been hundreds to choose from! You done well ladies!! My fav was “While we usually give our Christmas Enthusiast another piece to add to her Thomas Kinkade Illuminated Holiday Village…” HA!! Yep, I know that person!! Love this so much.

    • We all have that *one* person. She has good cheer to spare during the holidays, but has trouble finding place to put her latest figurine! Bless her!!

    • Santa saves the day again! Let me guess…mankini for the hubs? I know you runners can pull off showing a little skin! 😀

  2. I thought the toilet seat cover and rug were bad, but by the end and the mankini, you gave a whole new meaning to Pinterest and pinning for Christmas. Seriously, a big no to that last one and the Santa drink refreshment dispenser, too!! :)

    • I think I’d need a little somethin’ from the drink dispenser if Santa showed up in a mankini at my house. (and I didn’t even show a photo of the back…it’s a THONG…whoo!!)

  3. If only I hadn’t already picked up my white elephant gift for this weekend’s party I could have gotten the mankini ! I would surely have been the talk of the party – and perhaps never invited back.
    Once again you gals have found the most hilariously ridiculous stuff. Thanks for the great laugh during this Christmas crunch time!

    • Darn it!! You would have been the star of the show if you brought a mankini!! There’s always next year, though!! Pick one up when the price drops at the after Christmas sales! 😀

  4. haha! Some of these seem like they weren’t completely thought out before production started..and others, you just know they were made exactly on purpose, exactly as is. The question is: which are which? I can’t claim to know!

    • Hahahahahahaha. SO true, Tamara! I don’t know either. I do imagine there is some sweet Memaw somewhere with the Santa toilet cover and rug set will be shocked when it finally hits her.

  5. The only nice thing I have to say about these Santas is that they are better than the one on your neighbor’s house! Come to think of it, maybe your neighbor should get a peeing Santa as a Christmas gift to let him know how you feel!

    • Isn’t that the truth!! Seeing that roof top dead Santa could scar you for life! Seeing these Santa presents could….oh wait….scar you for life. Hmmmm….

  6. I thought the Santa toilet covers were bad enough, but you guys were just getting started. The drink dispenser – ewww! And the mankini, that is just beyond. Once again, you have outdone yourself!

    • Hahahahahaha. When you are giving a Santa gift you have to go big or go home. (unless it’s a mankini, then smaller is “better”)

  7. Thanks for the laughs this morning. I think the Santa Mankini wins the prize! I’m going to share your post on my facebook page. Not sure how many people will actually see it though :)

    • Aw! Thanks, Dawn!! You are so sweet!! Facebook is on our NERVES with it’s “we don’t want people to see your updates”. Blergh! Facebook is NOT getting a mankini from us this year!!

  8. Oh my Lord, I laughed my butt off. That stuff takes Christmas in all new direction! I really need to root around more on Pinterest to see some crazy stuff.

    • A WHOLE new direction, Mike. When you get beyond all of the recipes and pins about how to tie a scarf 15 ways, there are some really weird things on Pinterest. That’s why I love it! 😀

  9. How delightful to recognise the toilet seat cover we gave to my grandmother’s sister’s son’s wife’s mother-in-law’s grandson’s nephew last Christmas. It was so difficult to come up with an equally appalling, oops appealing (silly me) gift this year. Thanks to you, I have the perfect number. The mankini is just the ticket. Does it come in size XXLL?

    • Bwahahahahahaha. Oh, Lawd!! The ONLY way to follow up a Santa toilet seat cover, is by giving the gift of the Santa Mankini the next year. If it doesn’t come in XXLL we can sew (or duct tape) two together. PERFECTION!!! 😀

  10. Best. Pinterest post EVER!!!!!! OHMYGOSH this is HILARIOUS!!!!!!! And once again- it’s all in how you deliver the ‘goods’ ladies…. NAILED it as always!!!

    BRILLIANT and JUST what I needed to read this morning!!! XOXOXO

    • I bet that hat can be rigged for a glass of wine. Maybe we need to put the wine in a covered tumbler to be on the safe side, but we can make it work, Ilene!

  11. OMGEEEEE!! If only you had posted this one earlier, I could have gotten the drink dispenser for my Dad! So funny!! I know I’m not in the majority here with this one. But it totally cracks me up. Not for kids of course, my Dad would get a hoot out of this one!! You have out done yourselves agayan!

    • Oh, shoot!! Sorry, Dad!! I guess he’ll have to wait for next year on the drink dispenser. RATS!! :( My 13 year old would LOVE the drink dispenser. (Filled with Mountain Dew of course)

    • Hahahahaha. That’s the problem we have with Pinterest, too, Jennifer!! There are just so many things to buy, our pile of cash runs out…and stockings are only so big. 😀

  12. You did a fine job finding the worst Christmas items ever! I hope the toilet set is washable. Also, what does the Sant doing #2 teach the kids? Poop tastes like candy?

    • YES!! Who doesn’t want their kids to learn that valuable lesson? I bet those bunny droppings you found in the yard taste like chocolate chips, too! Give them a try, kids! 😀

  13. Wow. . .just wow. First of all, the toilet cover? NO!!! Looks like someone cast a spell on Santa and turned him into a toilet! Just wrong. And the dude wearing the man-kini/nutcracker thingy should know I’ve notified the police. LOL! EW! That is definitely a crime against humanity.

    You ladies NEVER disappoint with this Pinterest nightmares, thanks so much for sharing! I hope both of you have an amazing Christmas!!!

    • Santa does look like he’s been the victim of a horrible spell in that toilet seat cover. So sad!!
      I think the look on the mankini model’s face says he knows the authorities have been notified! 😀

      We hope you have a wonderful Christmas, too, Tracie!!

  14. My goodness gracious!! That mankini is just WRONG on so many levels. I can definitely see that as a ‘nutcracker’ for sure! My husband cringes just looking at it.
    The toilet makeover really isn’t that bad, and I can honestly see that in the homes of the Christmas fanatics easily. I personally wouldn’t want to walk into a bathroom with it in there, but hey..to each their own.

    My family is lucky to get homemade cookies, let alone a bunch of different snowflakes with different designs!

    • I don’t know anyone who has the Santa toilet cover, but I know several people who would love it!! I think it’s adorbs…until you need to actually USE the bathroom. That’s when it turns darker for me (and also why I love it and want to buy one for next year). 😀

  15. I will never look at Santa the same way again. EVER. I think I just might toss my Christmas cookies. Speaking of Christmas cookies…I didn’t know Santa preferred his milk and cookies “recycled”…Learn something new every day! 😉

  16. You guys never disappoint! These will certainly tie up some loose ends for the holidays and I’m not talking about sporting that last little number. I digress. Sadly, my youngest, 16, is the Christmas Enthusiast. He single handedly decorated the house Thanksgiving weekend because he can’t watch his Christmas movies without the tree up. I love the kid but he really needs to reign it in a bit.

    • I love that it’s your 16 year old that is the Christmas Enthusiast in your life!! That is just awesome in every single way!! He totally needs more figurines and garland at his disposal. Don’t make him beg, Kristina!! 😀

    • It’s hard to top a mankini for practicality and fashion sense. Many have tried and failed. Add Santa into the mix and it’s a done deal.

  17. This is the epitome of bad taste. Your description of the Christmas enthusiast is absolutely perfect. I agree 100% but couldn’t have said it as well. Great column.

  18. I was just taking a quick break and am so glad I came over for a visit. I almost spewed my iced tea all over my laptop while reading this.

    I know a Christmas Enthusiast that must have all of her Christmas decor (including the tree) up before Halloween.

    Thanks for making me laugh.

    • Oh, she debates whether or not it’s too early to get all of her stuff out before Halloween. It’s a struggle to wait, Alli! She’s the only one who isn’t sad that Christmas stuff goes up in Target on November 1st. She’s already wondering if it would be overkill to add a third Christmas tree to the bonus room by then! 😀

  19. Fast-tracked on the naughty list—hahaha. Love all these. Seems like stuff for my mother who has cute/inadvertent disgusting holiday items always on display. My favorite is an Easter bunny which dislodges cotton balls from its butt. She just doesn’t seem to see it.

  20. Well, I’m not a fan of the funky hat and that man bikini thing is grossing me out but the rest of them make me happy!!! I might have a toilet set that is similar (not exact same but…).

  21. I wore a hat like that (with the beer cans) during a trip to Mexico during college. But I will tell you that it did not have a merry ending. Oh, and my eyes are bleeding from that mankini.

  22. Maybe I shouldn’t read the Dose Girls’ Pinterest Nightmares before bedtime because I might actually have nightmares. I just can’t shake that mankini from my head. Make it stoooop!

    Thanks for the laughs!!

  23. lol! My mom is a Christmas Enthusiast…and I didn’t even know it. The tree is up a week BEFORE THanksgiving…and the house is covered in fake snow and Santa throw pillows. Thanks for allowing me to process her disorder and now process it. :-)

  24. I think the mankini burned my eyes. And I’m afraid the image of sitting down on Santa’s face to put my underwear on after the shower just isn’t going away any time soon. And when will people learn that bodily functions don’t make for the most appealing gifts — especially when they include ingestibles? Ick!

  25. Okay, with the exception of the mankini (I wouldn’t even want to see my own husband wearing that!) I’m actually down for the rest. Easy beer drinking, crapping on/in (whatever) Santa, and Santa farting candy or peeing alcohol…works for me! Now it’s become even more obvious I have a sick sense of humor. Haha.

  26. I actually like the rug set. I think I am the only one that puts rugs around my toilet and decorate my bathroom for the seasons lol. The rest of it…..as the grumpy cat says…no

  27. When I was younger my mother has a small toilet cover. When the lid was down it was Santa waving and saying HO HO HO .. When raised Santa had his eyes covered and his nose pinched and was saying OH OH OH .. I will admit I have the Santa seat cover you have shown.. but not the rest of the outfit. I will now be forced to locate the whole set up.. the rest of the stuff is too much even for me…

  28. “Straight from the big guy” – ha!
    And I thought meggings were bad – they’ve got nothing on the mankini. I am not going to be able to get a few of these out of my head!

  29. I am sensing a Would You Rather/mankini style coming up on this one. Can you even imagine hubby “tempting” you in one of those???

  30. Haha – thank y’all – you ladies never fail to deliver in the laugh department! Until yall pointed it out in #1, I didn’t think I would be going in Santa’s …! gah! But seriously – I so wanna get my hands on those santa refreshment dispensers! Happy Friday!

  31. Such a tonic! Thank you. Just wanted to let you know the mankini was the perfect gift last year so I’m going with it again this year. In leopard print this time. Never mind you can’t really see the print, the important thing is I’ll know. Am I right?

  32. NO, NO, NO, NO!!! Now I will have that mankini picture in my head all day! :)

  33. Those. Are. Horrific. Pretty sure we had that Santa toilet thing in my house when we were growing up. And by pretty sure I mean we absolutely did. When you lifted the seat up he would be covering his eyes with these two plush arms that would then rub against your arms a little while you….you know…

  34. Oh, how I’ve missed you guys! I still have lots of shopping to do for Christmas, but sadly I don’t think any of them would like any of these Pinterest nightmares. LOL Your commentary hits my funny bone!

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