As a woman and a mother of daughters, I am perhaps more sensitive to this, or maybe because I myself can be just the *slightest* bit judge-y. Who knows? But lately, y’all, I am noticing it just more and more. And it is really starting to bother me. What is the “it”? As women, IT is this standard we seem to have created for ourselves and for those around us, that no one, probably not even Jesus himself, could live up to. I can hear the whispers now, imagining Jesus walking on water and on the shore is a group of women huddled in the corner saying in hushed tones, “God (literally), you would think with his ability to walk on water, he could at least find the time to get a haircut now and then.”
Why do we do this? Is it because we are so cynical and jaded? Or are we so insecure and unsure of what we ourselves are doing? Surely it can’t be because we just have too much time on our hands. After all, we, as family women, are the first ones to point out just how busy we are all the time, how we cannot fit one more thing in, how we just cannot balance everything we do.
Not all that long ago, I had the great privilege of watching THE WEDDING. I sat with Abby on my lap and we watched as a girl literally became a real-life princess. It was indescribably beautiful and magical to me from start to finish. I saved it for Emma to watch later, as I wanted her to experience that fairy tale for herself and selfishly I wanted an excuse to cry for 2 hours all over again. There wasn’t a single moment that I didn’t think was absolutely perfect. Kate was the picture of grace and beauty and poise. William looked regal and calm and confident. Together they looked comfortable and happy and in love.
I wish I had just stopped there, and let those feelings of the moment be my final review of the day. Instead, I made the mistake of venturing onto some websites I frequent, some specifically for mothering tips. Immediately, “it” started … that judgment. While most of the women were as blown away as I was, there were just a few that weren’t. Just enough naysayers to permeate the forum with their opinions that had just enough cattiness to begin seeping into my brain and chipping away slightly at the joy I had been feeling.
Their posts varied. Some asked, “Was anyone else just the least bit disappointed in Kate’s dress choice?” Others said, “Shouldn’t she have worn a slightly bigger, better, prettier, sparklier, fancier tiara?” “A different hairstyle?” There was even a critique of her bra choice, I kid you not. Of course, I know that I can discount everything I read and still believe my own thoughts about the day, which I do, but it made me wonder…
What was the overall point of all of these negative judgments?
And after reading them, I just felt sad that so many are just never satisfied to sit back and say “Wow, that was perfect.”
And leave it at that.Photo credit: Ben Stansall/AFP/Getty Images Cross-posted from Modern Parent Online